Is it happenning to you?
By edujccz
@edujccz (929)
Philippines
December 12, 2008 1:46am CST
I was supposed to forget this but it always happen to me. I am a married man at 48 and lately, I met a girl at 26 in a party, I noticed that she is finding ways that we talk, assuming that it was a business talk so i agreed. But It was'nt, she is now telling me that she likes me and inviting me to leave the place and be together. Wow, I dont know what to say, finally I said I cannot for I am a married and family man, I had kids and I dont want to create a problem that I will be sorry later. She said she dont care, she wants me to have a relationship with her, I asked if she needed money, she said No, just a relationship. i said Iam old ,but motioned that she dont care and wanted to have a baby with me. I could hardly speak and feeling concerned about my surrounding people might heard what she is proposing. Finally, I was able to hide and evade her.
But this is not the first time, it happened a many times everywhere I go I recieved a lot of proposal since I was a kid at 18. But Im now 48 and still happenning. Normally I ran away, but how on earth did she gets my cellphone number, she is sending me a text message that she loves me even more, I am getting concerned because I dont want to hurt my family for things that I could hardly explain. What can you say?
6 people like this
34 responses
@srganesh (6340)
• India
12 Dec 08
It is something great,you had as many proposals ever since you are young.And I think you had turned up more girls in your age and it is not necessary for you to go for advicces,as you would be an expert handling this situation.Are you inclined to this girl now?Do you have any soft corner for her now?Go for a self analysis and you will know what to do from your past experiences.Hope you end up with your own morals!
1 person likes this
@edujccz (929)
• Philippines
12 Dec 08
Finally, i called her by phone and told her to stop and not to do her intention of coming to the office, for i said she wont see me for I am ashame also of gossips since you cannot stop peoples mind, well this time is a headache, she dont listen at all.
1 person likes this
@silverjam (969)
• United States
14 Dec 08
I commend you for your firm stand to say no to such temptations! Keep it up. I hope you would always stay away from her or from those women who tried seducing you. Heeding to those baits would surely ruin your marraige and your family in the long run.
@rosdimy (3926)
• Malaysia
12 Dec 08
Maybe your looks is causing this problem. I did have similar problems with girls young enough to be my daughter wanting to live with me. Even though my religion allows a man to take up to four wives I did not want to do this. Even though my current spouse has no opposition to me doing so, I knew there would be problems raised by other people.
Maybe you have to explain it to her. On the paranoid side she may actually be planning to ruin your family life.
all the best,
rosdimy
rosdimy1 person likes this
@bellebads (740)
• Philippines
12 Dec 08
you have to be firm in your decision not to commit a sin. your kids will get more affected than anybody else. try to change your cellphone number so that the girl will not be able to send messages to you. do whatever you have to do to avoid this girl or else your family would suffer in the long run. ask for god's guidance.
@edujccz (929)
• Philippines
15 Dec 08
That was 1985 when I was sent by my company to study abroad, I was married then but still without children. My wife slipped a wedding picture in my luggage before leaving her home. And that was somewhere in Europe, so to say being a foreigner in a country, after class i have to walk in the street just roaming around in the cold and might stumble to beautiful places. I was intrigue at the beautiful flowers blooming along the road and with the urge of snipping its smell , i headed towards it , stooped down and picked it up, but as I raised my feet up, two girls in a bicycle was staring at me by the road side, so I said hi while waving a hand, right back they scampered away. So I proceeded ahead and went back home soon as I get tired. Its my attitude to take a walk almost every afternoon, and funnily this two girls are on the same spot everytime and when i say hi, they scampered away laughing. Until, one day they responded , saying hi also to me. So the event was repeated again and again, maybe that was a week later, when one of them was giggling and approached me. She handed me a letter and they soon sped away laughing. I read the letter and their english is not so good but at least they can expressed a thought.
It read like this" I am sorry that we ran away the first time we saw you because we thought you are a beast but you are not and we wanted to see you again tommorow". So I was laughing my way back home, the next afternoon we've met. They drop the bicycle and we seated just by the grass making to know each other. They were so young at seventeen and they were curious of my skin and seems to see a brown eyed monkey firstime, LOL. They were so beautiful to me, and since i dont have any bad intent, I showed them the wedding picture that i brought, telling them she is my wife and i'm married, they just giggle and laugh. the meeting almost happened every afternoon and when I recieved my allowance I treat them for some ice cream or a cake nearby. i was even invited and went to their house, meet their parents, there, not without them i could not have seen beautiful churches of europe and I really thank God for giving me this girls to see the world.
But alas, one day when we met again, one of them had another letter for me to read.
The letter goes like this" edu at first i thought you are a beast but now i realized you are the kindest person i have ever met, i love you' blah blah bla and so on. I said , No no no, you cannot love me, im a married man showing her again the picture of my wife. She just giggle, I thought she understood my message. The next meeting, she handed me a gold chain pendant with a heart. Wow, I dont want to hurt this girl, she is so young but in love. Since then, I tried avoiding her, but she comes to see me at my dormitory at least they come in two all the time. Good my studies would come to an end and I told her that i will be leaving soon. She cried and cried and cried until they went home. She got sicked and i was summoned by the parents to visit her and talk to her for she is not eating anymore. I did and I was crying too thinking sorry and never meant to hurt her. She embraced me while sobbing in tears, but i have to go so i kissed her on the forehead, the parents were helping me to explained that i needed to go and that she finally heeded.
Coming home to Manila, i was recieved by my wife happily. Back to my old life of ging to the office everyday, but one day as i arrived home, my wife was very quiet , she served me dinner but she dont want to eat with me, finally I asked her what was happenning, she moved into a closet a shove an open letter to my face to read it. While she started filling up her luggage with her things. How did that girl get my addressed, I remember down the road, i showed her my passport and she jot something in her note book, it read like this" edu please come back to Belgium i want to marry you' confusion came to my mind and how then can i explained to my wife what really had happened, But God knows i've never touch her, nor did i showed any feeling to that girl. Thruoughout the rest of the night i was explaining my side but my wife never believe my explanation. I took my passport, tear it infront of her but to no avail she dont stop crying while retrieving her thing at the closet. She locks her luggage and motioned out of the room, I followed and barring her way out embracing her but pushes me away, God I dont know what to do and im loosing my wife and only you knows what had happened" was the short prayer i could murmurr. Until I said" Okay, Only God knows what had happened and I didn't do anywrong to our relationship, since I cannot stop you from going and not trusting me as your husband, I will let you go, once you have stepped out of that door,you are on your own. Good bye." She stops but not stepping out of the door. She turned around and embraced me.
That was my unforgetable love story of mine. How do you like it. Happy posting.
@lovesummer (1162)
• Malaysia
13 Dec 08
wow that is strange. Youre probably something that many people want. Be ware though they are probably up to something that you don't know. I would stick to my wife in that case and give my kids a good family. :)
@veejay19 (3589)
• India
14 Dec 08
You are a mature man and you should know your responsibilities which i think that you do. Better tell that girl very firmly that you are not interested and end the relationship then and there. I strongly suspect that she is out to blackmail you by getting you in a compromising position and milking you for money. No girl in her right senses will ever say that she wants to have a relationship with a married man and have a child through him. It is better that you cut her off completely otherwise you could be in trouble. If she still persists then threaten her that you will go to the police saying that she is harassing you.See what happens and good luck.
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
14 Dec 08
Wow you must be a looker to attract women like that! I commend you for doing the right thing and not jeopardising your marriage, it says a lot about your integrity as a man. Stick to your resolve and think about your wife and children first before taking any action you will probably regret later on. You cannot replace a loving family, but I know you are already aware of that and once again, good on you for not giving in to temptation.
@ongtina (1232)
• Singapore
14 Dec 08
I say you must be attractive but BEWARE. There are mental casenuts out roaming the earth so better be safe than sorry. Ignore or even have your number changed. More importantly, maintain a healthy,loving and OPEN relationship with your family. Tell them about it so things don't become complicated. Kind of tricky here as it also depends on your way of telling as well as your spouse's character.
@firemountain (60)
• United States
13 Dec 08
this might seem crazy to you but it work's.
I have a good friend that was in love with my husband.
You would have to be blind not to see it.
I was ok with it, cause I knew what kind of man my husband is.
He was unaware of it, until, I said one day. you know so-in-so
is in love with you. he said, it's all in your mind.
I said I won't say anything about it.
and you just watch the next time we're with her.
He did and on the way home He was so shocked, He said your wright.
what should I do? I said,nothing just as long as you know I know.
He won'ted to brake our feiend ship off. but we've been friend's
for years.she soon lost her strong infactuation with him.
but we remained good friend's.she never knew we knew.
and I do know what she see's in him. he's a wonderful husband.
but his moral's and family comes first.oh by the way tell your wife.
that will clear your concionce, and make your marriage stronger.
firemountain
@NikkiLuvsAlex (319)
• United States
13 Dec 08
Wow, sounds like you have some problems there. I'm sorry to hear that those things are happening to you. Tell that girl NO! Your children and your wife are definately more important than a homewrecking young girl who could care less if she tears your family apart and hurts your children by taking their father away. Stay far away from people like this.
@eshwarik (180)
• United States
14 Dec 08
If you are a married man and have children and wife, your thought process is correct. You don't want to do some and regret later. If she does not care about thought then she is not worth a relationship. This is my thinking. Just turn the table around and how would you react to such a discussion when you come to know what is going on with your wife. Put yourself in your wife's place and decide.
@deebomb (15304)
• United States
13 Dec 08
Maybe you don't act like your a married man and are more flirtasious than you realize or mean to be. The girl may have ask around to get your cell phone number. You really should tell your wife as soon as possible. It sounds like this girl could create a real problem for you if you don't tell her. The girl just might decide to call your wife and tell her that there is more going on then there is.
@moondancer (7433)
• United States
13 Dec 08
Some people go through these type of things and having unwanted influence on someone else is an awkward thing. I've been there as I'm sure most have. In the case of this lady, you are in a fix with her. You would need to tell her that you are flatter by her offer but kindly regect her offer and leave it at that. If she keeps on them tell her in a kind way to find someone else as you are not interested that you love your wife and your family.
You could have a problem if you show her the slightest interest, or being around her she may take as a "sign" that you care for her and she could ruin your marriage just by telling your wife and she may stalk you. Becareful of ladies that tell you more than once after you have rejected them that they want you for whatever reason.
@adapots (82)
• Philippines
13 Dec 08
No no no no no! Don't do anything that hurt your family specially your wife. NO no!!!!!!!
I think you are a lucky guy that most of women look at you and they like you. "BUT" that not a reason that you can do it. Think always your family they are only a temptation to you and you must fight that just put it in your mind that you are married and you have kids who love you so much. And always Pray!!!!!!!
and i think you are doing good to fight your temptation in your life. and if she knows your cellphone number then change your number. You must tell your wife that their is a women that you, don't know and she is sending a text on you.
So if ever your wife read your her message then you need to hide with her atleast she knows.
@mentalward (14690)
• United States
13 Dec 08
If I were in the same situation, I would first tell my spouse about it, right away. Let her know all the facts about this woman and that she will not stop stalking you. There are many ways she could have tricked someone you know into giving her your cell phone number.
Second, call your cell phone carrier and see if you can get this woman's phone number blocked or take some other legal action. Are there stalking laws in your country? There are here and if someone is calling you constantly after you've told them to stop, you can press legal charges against them. Since harrassment over the airwaves (cell phone... FCC) is a federal offense, the phone company itself can press charges as well as the federal agency involved in this type of thing.
It's obvious that she does not care how you feel about the situation. That makes her dangerous. Confide in your wife first, then contact your cell phone carrier to see what you can do about this woman.
Good luck to you and stay strong!
@sassyangelee (340)
• Philippines
13 Dec 08
I haven't come across with a man that have that kind of appeal such as yours. Naturally men born with good looks and money are always magnets from this women young or old.
What can I say? You need to be straight forward to these women. It is proven fact that if men shows an interest, it is considered an encouragement from women who likes you. You can be nice while avoiding them and instead tell them how you love your wife and beautiful she is.
I would have you considered telling your wife everything. I am sure she will understand. It is best to start being honest with your wife, or it will create problem in your relationship with her.
I know you love your family. Just always stand your ground and do what is right. You are one man in a kind though. Happy mylotting edujccz.
@edujccz (929)
• Philippines
15 Dec 08
I am not one of kind for it is happenning among men. The girls are one of a kind because they dont listen. I dont know if a man of 48 still had the good looks to them, in terms of money I dont have. I remember 20 years ago a girl similar to this was buying me, she is offering me millions and I said no, one day I realized my story came out of Lovingly yours Helen if you were born then maybe at that time I probably have a better look. LOL Happy posting.
