abortion

The information you have just learned is going to be hard to live with there is no doubt but try not to let it get you down. Your father has passed on and there is no way to make things right by talking with him and no need to hold it against him now that he is gone because he can neither say anything to deserve or not deserve the way you feel. Becoming a parent can be very scary for some people and he may have just been afraid of what was going on. Once you were born I am sure he saw that he made a mistake and was proud you were not aborted. There really is no time that it is ok to take the life of another even if it is a child still inside the womb. Many people make the choice to end the life of their child but most will tell you they live with that decision the rest of their life and regret it. We are not God and we should not try to make those type decisions for him. I do understand in some circumstances why a woman would want to abort such as rape, incest, danger to her own life and in this case it has to be up to the mother to decide which decision she can live with better. If you choose not to abort and you still don't want a child there is always the option of adoption. You do not deny your child the gift of life you only deny them knowing their real parents. In the end each woman must choose for her own life and health.

There is no right or wrong reason to abort. What may be a valid reason to you might be a horrific reason to me. Every woman has a different opinion on abortion and it's up to that woman to make the choice she deems right for her. If a woman is poor and can't afford a baby, how is she going to afford pregnancy? Sure, public aid pays for the doctors visits and the birth, but what about the other necessities such as maternity clothes and time off work? I was off work for 2 months after the birth of our daughter 6 months ago. My husband worked during that time but times were tight with only one income. I went back to work as soon as I could to get us back better financially. A woman who is single and on her own can't afford to take off the mandatory 6 weeks. Most daycares won't take an infant before it's 6 weeks old. Some wait until 8 or 10 weeks. Abortion is a necessity for life. If you don't like it, then don't get one. I myself could probably never have one, but I would never judge or tell another woman what to do with her body. Childbirth and childbearing is a choice, not a requirement for women.

When you asked your mom if she had an abortion in the past she didn't answer you directly. She wanted to explain her pregnancies and what happened to each of them.Her first one was an ectopic pregnancy then her second ended in an abortion due to a lack of money. Her third one resulted in your brother being born and then she got pregnant again three months later with you. It was horrible that your dad wanted you aborted. He was being irresponsible by trying to get your mom to abort the babies. The lady that aborted her first child should have told her mom she was pregnant. I think many ladies regret having an abortion. I would never have an abortion. In my home country poor families can get support. I don't think abortion is right because life begins at conception. Aborted babies are the missing people of the world. I am sorry that you have had such shocking news and I know that however your mom wants to change the past she can't. Remember that your dad had the say in the abortions so perhaps your mom had little choice.

missparanoia, First of all, please don't hold any bad feelings toward your father. Since he is already gone, and you can't discuss your feelings with him, all it will do is cause you pain and tarnish the good memories that you have of him. Realize that, at the time, he didn't know what a wonderful person you would grow up to be. He was thinking only in the moment, of the financial stresses and pressures. Remember too, that men/father's think differently than women/mother's. While a woman/mother knows that she has that life in her, a man/father doesn't feel that gift and is therefore, not as emotional attached to the unborn child. As for your friend, you know, in reality none of us can honestly say what we would do under her circumstances. We can say what we think we would do, but until we are in her shoes, no one has the right to judge. I was unmarried and pregnant at 20, but I lost the baby, and no, I didn't consider abortion an option. Yes, I was scared, but I knew that, although they would be disappointed, my parents and family would be there for me. (I wasn't too sure about the baby's father.) Although it is true that a mother should always love her child, maybe this girl knows something about her mother that you don't. I have heard of parents turning away from their children for marrying the "wrong" person or choosing the "wrong" career, so you never know. Even though you don't believe she made the best choice in aborting the unborn child, please don't judge her. Think about it, she is going to have to live with that decision for the rest of her life. Don't you think she feels guilty for aborting the baby and is thinking what it would have been like to have carried that child to full term? What happens if she can never get pregnant again, or if she miscarries a child? What kind of guilt do you think she is going to have then? So, try to understand her decision, and let her know that, while you may not agree with it, you are her friend and are there for her.

That would hurt me in so many ways. I don't know how to comment on this without hurting you. DOn't hold a grudge though. I hope you can leave this behind you.

Well, I was a premature child being born for only after seven months. My mom told me that both of them had planned for the abortion because she is too scared that her parents might disowned her as she was still in college at that time. But what they did, didn't work to kill me because I had survived for all of what they did but it really affects my body, the doctor said my ribs are not well-formed and its one of the causes of my deformity.