what will you do if your husband broke his promise...
By anna_82
@anna_82 (115)
Philippines
December 15, 2008 3:46pm CST
ok i just finish crying because i am so upset and disappointed with my husband. long time ago we have an agreement that no matter what he will not drink any alcohol because it's not good.and because its against our religion too. so last night he go to work and we are expecting him to be home by 12am but time pass by he is not yet home.so i am so worried there's something might happen to him, because of so much worried i don't know what i have to do i don't know who to contact?until i get calm down and search the phone book in my cellphone and found his office mate number so i text him if he knows where my husband is, its 3 o'clock in the morning, and i wait for his reply and thanks to God he replied that my husband is in a birth day party of one of his office mate. actually there is no problem with that to me as long as he inform me so that i can expect that he will be coming late.but even text or call he didn't.and he is drunk, and now 5am he arrives and my daughter see him and smell him alcohol.what a s*** what is he trying to do. he didn't think that he always telling my daughter that drinking alcohol is bad and its not good.and now my daughter just shaking her head.i can't accept what he did. he didn't even realize how would i be worried. I try to asked him while ago and he said because there is a birth day party I asked him why he need to drink alcohol?he said nothing.i am so upset right now.
i need some body to talk too, somebody to tell me what i should do.i am now thinking if he can't obey the small agreement what else the more one. i am thinking now that he can cheat on me too. do you think? later when he wake up and his hang over is gone what do you think i would say to him?please help me.thanks in advance.
1 person likes this
9 responses
@edujccz (929)
• Philippines
16 Dec 08
Hello Anna, how long have you been married, i see that yuor husband was a very good person. Yes, he made a mistake by not telling you where he is gone for the night, that is really unfair on your part specially if its the first time. You mentioned on your earlier responses the routine of your husband why i said he is very good. Once he wakes up, talk to him nicely without nagging him or else you are asking for a quarrel. Husband and wife should not quarrel , be considerate and understanding your husband will love you more. Marriage should need no break up in such a simple thing for you have pledge to love each other for better or for worse. I suspect you are young in your marriage life, sometimes you will meet what they call the seven year itch. Not one is perfect and simple thing should be settled as simple as it is. Just my advice.
@quarvalsharess (989)
• Malaysia
16 Dec 08
I'm so sorry to hear that this is happening to you anna_82. I do understand how painful it is to have the person you love break a promise. Sure, it may be something as small as never doing something, but a promise is a promise. Never to be broken. Why promise if you want to break things? It is something small, but nevertheless, a promise.
If he cannot even keep such a small promise, what about the big ones? Sure, you can see it as it's just a small thing, he'll remember the big ones.. but remember, a promise is still a promise.. I would understand that you are disappointed with your husband, but you need to remind him that a promise is still a promise. A promise is something that should not be broken.
Well, I guess you should wait until he is sober and that you are calm. Don't scream at him. Just tell him nicely that he promised before that he will never drink. And he is being a bad example and a hypocrite to his daugher for drinking. How could his daughter respect someone who does not live up to his words?
Don't think the worst of your husband just yet. Let him explain, and let him know how disappointed you are with his actions and ask him how is he going to rectify the situation.
Then you can slowly decide on what to do, whether to still trust him and forgive him, or maybe give him a timeframe to make things up..
Whatever it is, think about you and your daughter, and think about how big this thing is to you. Good luck with this situation and take care!
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
16 Dec 08
i will be very disappointed as well if my hubby breaks his promise to me which he does very often... i am sorry to hear about what your hubby does to you and your daughter... i know it hurts you a lot... just tell him honestly when he wakes up that you are really hurt and you don't appreciate what he does to you... hopefully he won't do it again in the future... good luck... take care and have a nice day...
@shankari_prabhu (321)
• India
16 Dec 08
Everything depends on whether this is your only issue here. How is your relationship with your Hubby in other matters, like for Eg, how often do you guys make love and are you compatible while doing it? Is your Hubby loving and caring to you and your daughter?
If the answer to all this is YES, or even if it is NO., when he wakes up please be kind and gentle with him. Ask him why he did it knowing that it will hurt you very much?
If he explains to you then leave the matter. After all you really have nothing to worry if your hubby is just an occasional drinker.
If he is not interested in explaining or not even bothered about you getting hurt....then may be you need to talk to him at length and ask a few questions to find out whats going on??/
@scarletwitch12 (562)
• Philippines
16 Dec 08
Sometimes we are bound to make promises we are bound to break. Maybe your husband just got forced to party by his friends.
It is wrong, however, to just let you worry without even bothering to tell you he is alright and is just out partying. It must be very hard to stay at home and worry about his whereabouts.
Nevertheless, no matter how big his mistake may be, you must still be willing to talk things out with him. Afterall, he is still your husband and the reality is that this may not be the last shortcoming he will commit. Be patient with him, it is sometimes harder for men to keep their promises not because they want to hurt ther wives but because they are more prone to temptations like partying and getting stinking drunk. Just the same, be firm when saying that these sort of things should never happen again.
I know you feel bad. BUt cheer up. I'm sure your husband loves you and that everything will be straightened out soon.
Good luck!
@hisbabydoll (228)
• Ecuador
16 Dec 08
I hope your husband got home safely. Maybe he has a drinking problem and you should get him some help?
As for promises, I once cashed out a years vacation to get a downpayment for our house. My husband promised he'd get a second job to help us afford this new purchase. That was three years ago. He never got the second job. I, on the other hand, frequently work weekends to make up the slack.
@ronaldinu (12422)
• Malta
16 Dec 08
It seems that your husband is behaving irresponsibility towards you and his duties as a husband and a family man. Just continue to show him your love that you care about him. He might realise what he lose if he persists in his way.
@chupangina (90)
• Philippines
16 Dec 08
If my husband breaks his promise, I will break his bones.... Aaayyyyyaaaahhh!!!
@xian1982517 (17)
• China
16 Dec 08
i am sorry to hear that.i want to help you but i don't know how to say.because the familiar thing happened to me.my husband broke his promise either.we got married just about 1 week ago,we should be happpy now .but the fact is oppsite.befor the wedding,my husband promised me that we will have a baby after one year,so i want to have my hair waved.but my husband became angry the moment i told him my thought.he want to have a baby as soon as possible.he broke his promise.more morse he compare me with other girl.now we still in the condition of cold war.he said that he want to divorce.i haven't eat anything from tomorrow morning till now.yesterday evening i finished the cooking then call him home .that means i want to become reconciled initiative .but he still dont accept.i want to know how should i do?
