Some Relationship Advice
By TrayBlaylock
@TrayBlaylock (630)
United States
December 17, 2008 10:03pm CST
So I am dating this girl for the second time. The first time it ended because she got locked up in a nutcase facility. Only god knows why so I told her I couldn't handle it and that it wasn't going to work.
She has really cleaned herself up and has been doing good things. She got her drivers license and has a steady job. Also, she has a car.
My problem with her is that I don't know if I still feel the same way as I did before. I was in love with her to the fullest and enjoyed spending time with her. It's been a year since we split and now that we're back together, I don't know if we can get back to where we was.
Here is my question. Should I give it some time and see if the feelings come back? If your girlfriend put herself in the looney bin, wouldn't you just end it or would you be a little more understanding about it?
1 person likes this
15 responses
@Madmuttsgurl (13)
• United States
19 Dec 08
Yeah dude i agree with alot of the comments on here dude, but the only thing scaring me is your doubts... just take it easy, go with the flow and see what happens, also if you ever have thought like these you should always let the other person know how you truely feel... you never know maybe shes feeling the same way. :)
1 person likes this
@chaomi (56)
• Philippines
19 Dec 08
Seeing that I'm a female myself, I would prefer that you be a little more understanding of her condition. Give it some time and if you think that your relationship will work out then good for the both of you but if you're unsatisfied with it, better end it as nicely as you can...she might attack you. Ignore the last statement, it's meant to be a joke...a very NOT funny joke!
@TrayBlaylock (630)
• United States
19 Dec 08
Ha ha ha, she might attack me. It's a worry of mine, that's for sure.
@kalav56 (11464)
• India
19 Dec 08
I do not think that this takes that much of time. One or two events of meeting and chatting should instictively tell you whether you like her or not.girls are normally very good at reading internal signals ;however, men should also be able to do that only if you decide to detach yourself from your erstwhile feelings for her. Do not wait for some elusive thing to happen ; see if she wants you really for your own sake.Relationship is a two way street and see that you do not get hurt.
@gxtiantian (208)
• China
18 Dec 08
I thought I would get some pieces of advice here before I started reading your discussion, but on the contary, I just got a question. I am sorry for that, both you and me. Since I am still a single and not get well along with my fellows, I may can not give you any advice. Anyhow, good luck and may someone will give you a hand.
@TrayBlaylock (630)
• United States
18 Dec 08
No doubt. Any chance someone can help me would be great about now. Good to hear from you nonetheless.
@surveytaker29345 (489)
• United States
19 Dec 08
I think that if you were really in love with her before, there is a chance for you to love her again. I don't think that you should disregard things that happened in your previous relationship, but I think you should add these experiences into your current relationship.It can only make it stronger.
My best advice to you is to give it some time. If your feelings do not return, talk to her about it and decide if you should continue to stay in a relationship.
Best of luck!
@zhouliannie (78)
• China
18 Dec 08
i suggest you dont consider too much.now you are together agin ,it means you still love each other.if not ,you wont be togetger any more.so what you should do iss to forgive her mistake.people lways make mistake.when she correct ,you should give her chance .so dont be hesitate ,just love
@TrayBlaylock (630)
• United States
18 Dec 08
Thanks very much for the response. I think I'm going to go with what your saying. Forgive and forget!
@4ftfingers (1310)
•
19 Dec 08
Am not trying to take the moral high or anyhting but I think if my girl was mental and I really loved her, I wouldn't drop her. I can only speak for myself, I don't know what kind of sh*t you had to put up with so I'm not judging you, but I just get the feeling maybe you didn't love her enough anyway?
I don't think feelings come back mate, I think you should just move on cause you're probably leading her on and only gonna make it worse for her eventually.
@rsa101 (38126)
• Philippines
19 Dec 08
I guess it really depends on how you feel about the situation. I guess if you truly love her, her past is not so important anymore as to what she was before but what she is today. I guess your honesty works for you but for her it may be a bit of a disappointment for her. So if you two are back in each other then why not there is nothing wrong with that. But if the feelings not there anymore then move on with it.
@syankee525 (6261)
• United States
18 Dec 08
mental health issues is hard for people to deal with, specail the person they are with. to me if you loved her you would haven't broke up with her,
you're not going to understand the mental health issues she had, but excpeting it and learning to deal with it. i suffer from mental health issues and my wife tell you it's hard, she never understood it at all, but learned to deal with it.
so i think maybe you don't understand it, and that making it hard for you. but i think give it time, and maybe talk to her about her mental health issues if she wants to help you to know how she felt and feeling
@ShortyAkbar (384)
• United States
18 Dec 08
It's kind of hard sometimes to wait to see if feelings come back. When you do that, it's kinda like you're stringing them along. Then if you keep the relationship going and realize that you don't feel how you used to feel, then its like you messing with her. And if she had to go to a mental facility, you don't really wanna do somethin' to set her off.
@rahultheassasin (107)
• India
18 Dec 08
give this relationship sum tym dude....
if u love her these can't-go-along feelings will vanish and will be replaced by those of love !
i think she has done a great job with herself to make herself as u wanted.
now its ur turn to do sumthing for her....try to understand her!
rest is upto you !
@countrygal (14)
• United States
18 Dec 08
A lot of things change in a year. She may have cleaned up her act and is doing better, but you have also changed. I'm not sure how long you have been back with her but if the feelings aren't there now they won't be there later. So I don't think if I was you I would continue the relationship hoping that the feelings will come back, because most likely they won't. Maybe you two should just be friends if that is possible.
@snowy22315 (179713)
• United States
18 Dec 08
I think if you love her you will try to understand why she did what she did and will cut her slack. I think if the situation were reversed you would want her to do that for you. Good Luck with your situation. I think that you are a good guy for thinking about her and your situation.
