Telling a child they are adopted, when and how?

do it gradually. like break it to her gently. That what my MIL did with hers.. She didnt bother, (the adopted child), I think it made the child more arrogant and spoiled because she thinks she is special.

I myself feel that people should tell a child themselves rather than let them find out on their own. Depending on what stage on their life they are in it can have a very emotional impact on them. My neighbors when I was young adopted two baby girls. The girls grew up feeling special cuz they always told us my mommy and daddy picked me. On the other hand I had a friend who was adopted. She was 14 when she found out and thought the reason they never told her was that they were ashamed of her.

i do not think there is anything wrong when A child is not said he/she is adopted. it is alright. the bonding will be better then.

I've talked to a lot of adoptees about this and they all agree the earlier, the better. Ones that found out later in life felt cheated and lied to. Besides, secrets and lies are never a good basis of any relationships. How do you tell them? You tell them the truth. No sugar coating. Children are smart. They'll know if you aren't being 100% honest. A word of advice. Never tell the child that their mother loved them so much that she gave them away. That doesn't make any sense at all. And the child will equate love with being given away.

If I could have it my way, I would definitely opt to let the child know as early as possible. Theres no sense in keeping it a secret since they would find out one way or the other. But in doing so, I would make it a point to reassure them that no matter what, I will be always there for them and I will love them as my own.

i think we must tell when they young. with that age children already understand things and if you wait till she or he is a teenager he might get upset and angry and having problems. if you tell when they are young they accept it easier. you can say sweety i want tell you something. your mummy couldnt take care of you so she asked someone to find you someone to take care of you. that person gave you to me and your father for us to give you love and care that you need. even you didnt born from my body i love you as my child. your friend can explain it in a sweet way. i know is hard to face it. i wish your friend can find a good way to tell it^^

hello opalina143, Adopting a child is really a hard decision to make for there's a lot to consider. But for me, telling the child that she/he is adopted is even more harder. But still the child has the right to know about it. The sooner the better. As long as he/she can understand and take about it is the right time for me to tell her/him. Than finding her/him to other person. At least if you will tell her/him that soon, she/he will not get hurt that much and be able to accept it. Expaining to her/him why you adopted her/him and telling that you consider him/her as if your real child will even help her/him to realize and acept the truth. This way, you will not only gain her back but also your love to each other will remain even the respect.

I grew up knowing I was adopted. The circumstances were out of the norm for the time though and the adoption wasn't done until I had been with my adoptive mother for a number of years. I don't know how I would have reacted if I did not grow up knowing it and no one can ever know unless it happens to them. Even with the best of intentions some secrets should not be kept.

Well from what I think is maybe at early age is better to tell a child that he/she is adopted. Why? Because maybe he/she will learn to appreciate or value things in his/her life as an early age. Also, to know how his/her family looks like or how they are living.

this is a very tough question to reply to and there is no definite answer in my views. it really depends on the child personality and also your assessment on his/her maturity to accept the truth. I dun think we should hide the fact from the child as it is worse if he finds out himself. I would see when is the right and good time to break the news to him and also he/she should be mature enough to handle it. I think with maturity and rational thinking, he/she would be able to accept it.

Telling a child that they are just adopted is very hard.. I think it will be more safe if they're already in the right age, they could understand the situation.. unlike when they're just a child its hard to tell thy're mind is not really fully aware of the situation.

Hi. I was adopted as a baby, and my mom told me I was adopted when I was about 11 or 12. I think that is the perfect age to tell the child. I handled it very well. Of course, I always considered my adoptive parents as my real parents anyway. If the child is a different race, that might have to be done at a very early age. I was adopted though at age 3 weeks, and adopted into a wonderful family. My blood family was not so great I think.

i feel they should not to be informed what makes u to tell them that u r not my child tht hurts them what ever the age they are it is best not to tell the child about adoption

i think there is no right definite age that we can tell the child that she is adopted. i think the best time is when she starts asking questions. even if she's at a young age, they should tell her the truth. if she doesn't ask questions, the best time may be when she's mature already. when the child is showered with love and taken cared of like a true daughter, knowing about the adoption wouldn't really matter much anymore. the problems arise when the child felt that she was not loved. and she would feel that it's all because she was adopted and it would shatter her self-worth. and when they do tell their daughter, they must also be prepared if the child wants to find out who her biological parents are.

I think that you should tell a child from a young age that they are adopted that way they can go through life knowing this and it will not come a surprize if something should happen.My granddaughter was adopted this year and it tears me apart ecause I know that she will never see her daddy again or to know that she will never see her younger cousins and this time of the year is really bad I have been depressed all month longer because of the adoption

I think earlier is better. Otherwise, the child might feel lied to. Adopted children are just as special as birth children, because they were chosen. If parents wait to tell the adopted child the child may not feel this way. They may feel there is something not right about about it.And thus, something not right with them.

if a couple want to adopt a child ,I don't think it is a good way to tell the child went she or he old enough. I think the child have the feeling of being cheat or something else. so ,i think it is to tell them when they were young. if you give you all love and heart to the child , she or he will understand you and appreciate you. happy mylotting.

hi opalina, if you are looking for adopting a child.does not delay in this.its very great cause.friend i wish you best of luck for that its a very great cause. friend, don't think about these questions you are thinking about these are does not deal so bad for you friend. i hope you like it very much. i like this you do. don't think about the peoplethey does not matter. best wishes from my side friend and whole will help you in this great cause. i want you will do this on christmas day. happy mylotting

Hello opelina! What i think is that it would be hard on the child if she/he knows it later in life. Like what you said. Indeed we can't keep secret forever and if the reason they don't want to tell the child because the child is not ready yet then, the child cannot be ready in the future also. We have adopted one of our relative since she just a year old but we never lie on her about it and in fact we love to share with anything she wanted to know about her parents and we give her all the love and support the same way as what we are in the rest of the family and she doesn't feel different from us, she is our sister no matter what. And for me that the good thing we did because she is aware of what's going on that even if she not leaving in her real parents she has a present family that taking care of her and love her. Now, she already graduated in college and have a wonderful career and not even a single thought of question why in regards to her life because she knows it and accept it already. perhaps this would help your sister. this is our experience with our sister. Good luck! Happy Holiday. And happy mylotting.

hmm.. i think u should let them know from the beginning itself.. let them know that even though they're adopted.. they would love him/her as their own... coz.. wen during their teenage years they learn that they are adopted... its like their whole world has crashed on them.... I know a cousin of mine who was adopted.... wen he was in school... his frens started taunting him abt that he was adopted... and he wasnt aware of it... his other cousin heard and beat up the kids for teasing him..