Do I Love him or Lust for him???
By wilulvme
@wilulvme (40)
United States
December 24, 2008 11:55pm CST
I met my child's father when I was 16 in high school. I am in my early 30's now. I loved him so much, my first love. He was a bit older than me so he graduated first and moved away to go to college. In high school we vowed to always be together no matter what else in life happens. I got married after high school for all the wrong reasons so I also divorced after 3 years. He on the other hand got married as well... So after my divorce was final I end up pregnant by him. 7 years later now...I crave this man and feel and compare all men I meet to him. No one makes me feel the way he does... Yes he is still married, yes she knows about our child, yes me and her talk.. and yes i am still sleeping with her husband... I am slowly growing away from him but my body yearns for him...Not that its good but because of how I feel for him...So do i love him or do i just lust for him.. How can i move on.. Please help...
1 person likes this
9 responses
@shalybhe29 (162)
• Philippines
26 Dec 08
You are in LOVE!. Im sorry to hear that you still sleep with him. I think he both of you took the wron gmove when you filed your divorce papers. That's why you from what I notice. the two of you regret of filing divorce because you still enjoy each other in bed like what you used to do when you're still married. I wish you choose not to do a thing like that before... God Bless!!
@wilulvme (40)
• United States
26 Dec 08
I was never married to him...I was married to this other guy and had no children by him...I still think I am torn between love and lust... I know the difference and yes i do love him. Part of me wants to be with him and part of me don't. I think I like being able to sleep with him when I want to. But I owe it to myself for so much better.
@srganesh (6340)
• India
25 Dec 08
So what is your marital status now?Are you married to somebody or remain single all these years?If you are married to somebody then remain loyal to him.Assuming you are single mom,let me say this.You have stated that your ex-husband's wife knows you and you both have talks as well.I would suggest asking her to join you one in their family and you three live under one roof.This way you will feel secure and never miss your man.I can't judge how she will react with this proposal or how the society you are living in will react.Better let the cat out of the bag.I pray a good life for you.Have a good day!
@wilulvme (40)
• United States
25 Dec 08
I am actually divorced. Had my son after the divorce with my high school sweetheart. My son is 7, I had a boyfriend about a year in this time frame but we didn't work out because he wasn't over his ex-girlfriend. As for living under the same roof that wouldn't work because he treats me better than her and she is always questioning him about this. Sometimes it can be a problem. Like for example he hugs me, he doesn't show her any affection. Yeah.. we kiss also but obviously not around her. He will be on the phone with me and she will ask him if he is coming to bed and he be like I am on the phone I may just sleep here on the sofa. She know he is on the phone with me. Very disrespectful to her but treats me well... So why is he with her because that is what his family wants. Their culture don't believe in divorce no matter what.
@annjilena (5618)
• United States
25 Dec 08
you are enlove with him i know he is married but you love this man you have been through a relationship and still you crave this man this not lust you love him.you may feel some connection because of the child.only thing you can do is just walk away because he is married but can you stay away.you have a child by him so this is a turf question.if you do the right thing then you will not sleep with him any more and on the other had you say you crave this man.
@gjabaigar (2200)
• Philippines
25 Dec 08
Hello wilulvme.... Merry Christmas... Blessings and peace be with you and your family....
I try about this, but still you have the right decision....
How about making yourself preoccupied of others things so you can never always thinking of him.... How about make your own business.... Addition skills.... Or try to focus or concentrate in your job or work.... Make those emotions over him to become an energy of positive emotions to make yourself more productive in life.....
@wilulvme (40)
• United States
25 Dec 08
Merry Christmas to you also.. Yeah i need to get a hobby or something going, i am fine when i am at work its just when i leave work and alone, or love song come one, or something like that. As long as i am busy i really don't think about him. I do need to move on because it is getting very tiresome emotionally.
@rahultheassasin (107)
• India
25 Dec 08
well i wud suggest you make distance count between you 2.
Take a break. go someplace else. try out doing something new. just get closure. think about the future.
u said a romantic song remindes u of him. stop living in the past.
u have slept with this person and still he is with this other woman.
clearly he chooses her over you.
try hating him. maybe that'll help u !
happy myloting !!
@Amberina (1541)
• United States
25 Dec 08
Wow, well at least your being honest with yourself. He will always be in your life because you have a child with him. maybe you just want to keep him at arms length and every once in awhile have a fling? If it was me I would let him go and move on with my life as painful as it seems you should do that because he's not going to leave his wife, if he was going to he would have done so by now. You need to date other people and by doing so you may find someone who is not already attached and can love you with all his heart and give you all of himself, because right now Your getting her left overs. Keep in contact for your boys' sake but when you talk to him keep it strictly on topic of your son. I wish you luck it will be hard at first but you have to stay true to yourself you deserve better.
@thecrazyjogger (3178)
• India
25 Dec 08
that will b hard
but i htkn u still love him
happy lotting and have a merry xmas
@nigelamy (11)
• China
25 Dec 08
Well,perhaps you want to keep this relationship with your first love ,but
you sometimes hesitate.If I were you, I would not stay in this uncertain
situation .And I would live by myself or change for another way of life.
Have you ever thought about this? You can try to make some more new friends,
maybe some male friends if you want to of course .However I know that it is
hard for you to leave your first love and especially for you that had a child .
Well,all the problem is time .You need time to handle with this.
