why people get into debt for Christmas
By suspenseful
@suspenseful (40192)
Canada
December 28, 2008 1:19pm CST
Do you wonder why people get into debt for Christmas? I think it is because one judges the cost of what one gives to the cost they spent on the others the year before. So if for a number of years, you spend lets say $50 on each, the next year your gifts you receive will cost $50 each. At least that is what one assumes, so what happens? You figure the only way to receive, lets say, that necklace costing $1000 is to buy something that costs $1000 for them.(this is an example by the way) I would rather buy my own necklace and that is a rather impractical.) Now I have decided to spend less than $50 on each, and for the most part, kept to the budget, but if I had a lot more money, I would go up to $100 or even $200 each.
But you see what I am getting at. There are some who feel the reason they did not get that dvd set or what they were hinting at was because last year, they only got the other person a book of poetry. So the next year, even though they cannot afford it, they will spend so much on the whole four seasons of Lost or whatever, to show that they are not cheapskates just so the other person will splurge on that coffee table they wanted and so their Christmas debt increases.
9 people like this
21 responses
@rusty2rusty (6763)
• Defiance, Ohio
28 Dec 08
I have never ever assumed if I spent so much on someone that they would spend that much or more on me. That is just wrong on all accounts. I have often set limits with family or friends in order to keep within their budgets.
3 people like this
@suspenseful (40192)
• Canada
28 Dec 08
I have set a budget for myself, but I assumed that my budget is different from theirs. And we all should not have to spend the same amount each Christmas. I was hoping to get a bit more because even though I said it did not matter, I assumed that because they were all working, that it could have been a bit more. But my husband and I are on a pension and even though we would love to have spent one hundred dollars each, we could not. Now if they had lost work, then I would not have expected so much. It is just that I was brought up to believe that if you make a lot, you spend more for a gift, and if you do not make as much, you spend little. It is not an exchange of equal prices for all.
3 people like this
@rusty2rusty (6763)
• Defiance, Ohio
28 Dec 08
Now that is where the spirit of Christmas gets lost. When people expect something because they think others can afford it.
My FIL and MIL came in to a bunch of money. They own several properties as well. Both get disaiblity or retirement on top of it all. They get plenty coming in. But you know what my kids got for Christmas from them...my teen got a ten dollar walmart card the MIL won through gambling. My middle son got two single hotwheels. and my daughter got a 5 dollar babydoll. Did I expect more? Nope. I didn't expect anything. Could of they gotten more. Sure they could of. But that would mean they would have to spend money on something besides themselves for a change. So, I got to here SIL complain about what she didn't get when she knew her parents could afford a better gift. Not my idea of fun on Christmas if you knwo what I mean.
3 people like this
@suspenseful (40192)
• Canada
31 Dec 08
We were taught that we have to give someone something good for Christmas, and it was not right if we made a lot of money to give something cheap like a $10 gift card or a scarf. It showed that we splurged on junk for ourselves. If the person did not make money, was on disability, or welfare, etc. we knew that person could not give anything much, but we all knew that if you made a lot of money and you did not have any expenses, - well that is why I hated to spend money on myself because I got this guilt feeling that I should have spent more on the other person.
@Rainegurl (2156)
• Philippines
29 Dec 08
hi, suspenseful
i do tend to overspend during christmas season and i get into debt through my credit card. but luckily, i have always fully paid them within a few months. it's just i have always wanted to give christmas gifts to my family, especially to my parents. they have done so much for me and giving gifts is one the things i do to show my appreciation. i make sure, though, that even if i have to buy through credit that i can fully pay it within a short time.
take care!
3 people like this
@jiffythorn (282)
• United States
29 Dec 08
Many have forgot what the holiday is about, not the cost of the gift..
..or even that you give a gift at all...
Why many go into debt, because they feel that the cost of the gift,
shows how much they care...
2 people like this
@suspenseful (40192)
• Canada
29 Dec 08
I give what I can afford, and I am sure most do, but some think that the more you spend the more you love. If I made a lot of money, I would allow more for gifts, but that is because I want to give them something nice like they always wanted. I know what it is like to really want something but feel it is a luxury if you buy it even if it is something you really need. Like if I had the money, I would go and pay for a ramp for my husband or get a chair lift for outside, because he needs that having had a stroke, but he would not get it done for himself.
@GardenGerty (160879)
• United States
28 Dec 08
I am so glad that the people I exchange with are not like that at all. We just try to make the gift fit the person. Christmas is not about going into debt.
2 people like this
@rusty2rusty (6763)
• Defiance, Ohio
31 Dec 08
How do you knwo how much something cost to knwo what someone has spent? Do you go around pricing everything after you recive it? Where's the pleasure in that. I agree with GardenGerty. The present should fit the person, it should be given because you want to give. Not because you are expected to, or should be a certain amount. That si not what Christmas is all about.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (160879)
• United States
28 Dec 08
I do not enjoy situations like that either. That is one reason I enjoy my family so much. What we get is just extra, if we do get something, and if we do not, well we still have a chance to enjoy each other's company.
2 people like this
@suspenseful (40192)
• Canada
28 Dec 08
I was always disappointed when I got something that was equivalent to what I spent on last year. I mean I do not like going into debt because everyone else thinks I am too cheap, but maybe if I did save for the gifts ahead of time, maybe I could spend a bit more on each but really do not want to feel as if that is the reason I have to.
2 people like this
@mipen2006 (5528)
• Australia
28 Dec 08
I agree with you, and I think money plays a far too important part in Christmas giving, and the old adage "It's the thought that counts" has disappeared. Many people go into debt trying to - keep up with the Jones'- as well.
2 people like this
@suspenseful (40192)
• Canada
1 Jan 09
The trouble with the "thought that counts" we wind up giving things that we want them to say "oh how wonderful" but they really do not mean it. For instance, I love classical music, and for me giving a Cd of Handal's Messiah would be considered wonderful for my friends at Church, but I would never give that to my older son who is more into pop music. I have some friends who love to crochet, and they can make such wonderful doilies, but even though they would give them as gifts to me, and look for that look of appreciation and "oh you shouldn't have!" I would say "you shouldn't have" and meant that they shouldn't have - I would have appreciated a $10 bill so I can get what I want.
It is not the cost, it is realizing that not everyone appreciates the gift you give them.
1 person likes this
@mipen2006 (5528)
• Australia
1 Jan 09
YOU'RE right. I guess you can't win 'em all. Have a good day, and Happy New Year, suspensful.
1 person likes this
@LittleMel (8742)
• Canada
28 Dec 08
I actually know someone in real life that if you give her a gift for anything she will give you something back that is about the same price. I don't see anything wrong with that, but when it comes to me, it's not necessary and I won't do it. A gift is a gift, I wouldn't give something asking for return or same price gift so if I can't give the giver same price of gift I wouldn't force it either.
I give a gift because I want to and I care. If I can't afford a gift I wouldn't even give any out. For family or friends I usually tell them why I don't or can't give them anything, because I want them to know I care I am just in a situation I need to sort things out first. Of course if they are real friends they would understand, but I will tell them anyway.
@suspenseful (40192)
• Canada
22 Feb 09
That is what I feel. I tell people that I cannot afford that much, and they take it to mean that if I had more, I would get more. I do not like equal exchange gifts. It does not seem right to me.
@lonewolfnan (4366)
• Canada
29 Dec 08
Remember who set the standards for gift-giving?Three "wise"men who brought a child gold,frankensense and mhur(sorry about the spelling)
Seriously though,it seems that we do not want to be outdone by friends/family when it comes to gift-giving.I live on a ver limited income of less than $900 a month and have to watch my pennies.This is why I have already started my shopping for next year.I can not "compete" with others,but I can put thought into what they need and get it at a reasonable price.My shopping will be done by Sept.and I can avoid the last-minute panic.Anything I may get is a bonus as it is more than I have now.The feeling of giving overpowers the gift itself.
2 people like this
@cutepenguin (6431)
• Canada
29 Dec 08
I buy gifts for people, and this year I didn't really go into debt so much as I spent money that should have gone toward paying off debt, which wasn't very smart. I do small gifts for my clients, gifts for my parents and siblings, and a draw gift on my mom's side of the family. It adds up.
2 people like this
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
29 Dec 08
that sounds like trying to keep up withthe JOneses and it just not right.
I have never gone into debt to buy CHristmas if I cant afford it they dont get it.
Like this year we just bought for the kids!and I spent $25 on each of them.
they loved what they got and I am happy!
2 people like this
@sweetlady10 (3611)
• United States
29 Dec 08
I think this is one of the reason that people get into debt. But also there are other criteria like, one want to show that how much they can spend, or may be how much they want or love that person. What I think is we always should buy whatever we can within our budget. The gift does not speak love, the feeling in your heart about the person matter most.
2 people like this
@Ithink (9980)
• United States
29 Dec 08
I have wondered at times and some times I do think you could be right in some cases. I think in other cases that some do it as they really do care about the other person they are buying for and want to get them something really nice. With some people that can put them in debt.
2 people like this
@sunshinelady (7609)
• United States
29 Dec 08
Some where down along the line people got a brainstorm and said that their had to be actual gifts given for a person to think they were loved. Forget about all the things that are not material. A mother's hug, a homecooked meal, anything that a person makes with their own hands. So people started to go over board and now a person goes into a store to buy a gift. And the dollar value of a gift came into existance. And people started to really get into debt when this thinking came along.
2 people like this
@amazingheart (781)
• Philippines
29 Dec 08
I just enjoyed the holiday with no debt.People may think that I am out clothes, out of date,and everything but at least I am not pressure of how to pay the debt that I had on holiday season nevertheless I bought something for myself that is just enough for my budget,but not to put myself into an over spending. :)
@mtdewgurl74 (18151)
• United States
6 Jan 09
I don't go into debt for christmas, I only spend what I have. I don't use credit cards or run up a credit to pay later. I can only afford so much and I usually split that cost with those I buy for..someitmes it is more someitmes it is less..I don't believe in borrowing against next month cause that only leads to needing more the next month and possibly borrowing more and more to keep up..so I just buy with what I have and leave the borrowing,loans,credit card debt and checks up to others ..
1 person likes this
@terri0824 (4991)
• United States
29 Dec 08
I have to say that I have never gone into debt for Christmas. This year was slimmer than years past but I refuse to do that. I think way too many people forget the true meaning of the season being Jesus Birthday and he is the only reason for the season, because if it were not for him there wouldn't be a CHRISTmas.
2 people like this
@newzealtralian (3930)
• Australia
27 Jan 09
For me, it isn't about how much I spend on each person, it is about what I know they will appreciate or what they need. yes, I do restrict the amount I spend as a whole, but only because I know that birthdays start in our household just after christmas.
People that behave as you have described are insecure about themselves and the way that other people see them. Also, those that expect to have expensive gifts don't really appreciate them, because they are too busy worrying about what the next gift they receive is going to be like. They are money hungry and shallow, with no thought to other people.
I wouldn't care if someone gave me something worth 5cents! It is the thought that counts, and it still shows that they at least tried.
1 person likes this
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
29 Dec 08
For many years I would get into debt over christmas, it started when I was a single parent, I felt that I had to compensate for my child not having his father in his life so I would buy him loads and loads. Of course I could not pay for it I just had a catalogue. As years went on I would want to buy the best for everyone, but then I realised what I was doing and I stopped. This year I saved money all year for xmas and when it came nearer the time I looked at what I had saved and budgeted an amount for everyone, I even managed to stay under my budget and had some left over. I will do the same again for next xmas now.
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40192)
• Canada
30 Dec 08
That's a good idea. Yesterday I set up a monthly transfer into my high interest bank account of so much so that when Christmas comes, I will be able to spend without going overboard. I made it a bit more in case we get another grandchild.
I never had to believe one had to spend to show one's love because my father was like that, he felt if he spent a lot on you, you were supposed to love him more.
@Bebs08 (10681)
• United States
30 Dec 08
Well, for me, the point of giving during Christmas is not that we are expecting something in return. Some people go into debt because they want to give expensive gifts hoping to receive back same or more expensive items than what they give. That is very wrong motive. The best principle of giving is that when the recipient can not pay you back and they really are needy people who really is worth of a gift. The poor who has nothing? It would be like a heaven for them when they receive gifts on Christmas. You will be happy also to see their face glowing with happiness and gratefulness some even in tears because they have something on Christmas. That is the best way of giving, when the recipient can not pay you back.
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40192)
• Canada
31 Dec 08
I often why when people give gifts to the poor, they just give them food and cookies? I mean why do they not give them gift cards so they can buy some stuff or why not give them blankets or get some furniture from a second hand store, but no when those who have a lot give gifts to the poor, when the season is over it is back to the same old stuff.
@silverjam (969)
• United States
29 Dec 08
I guess the main reason why most people get into debt is simply because they spend beyong their means. They are equating christmas as solely for spending time...Christmas can still be enjoyable w/o spending a lot but just spending quality time w/ your love ones w/ very minimal expenses. Spending w/in the means can be very practical during this time and not making one indebt during the holidays.
1 person likes this