Always there for them but they disappear when I'm in need

I've been in that same situation before and it sucks big time. Comes to find out they weren't true friends..and I slowly distance myself from them. Its the best thing to do.

I know exactly what you are going through because I am dealing with the same problem with a so called best friend of mine. We have been friends since the late 90's. I have been a very good friend to her, but I can't say the same thing about her. I have always been there for her, but she isn't for me. Any time she is scared, hurt, upset she will call me, but if I need her she is nowhere to be found. I'd call her and she refuses to pick up the phone or she will put me through to voicemail.We only live about 30 minutes from each other, but yet we see each other maybe twice a year.I have been trying to spend time with her since the summer, but she always says she is busy. Now the excuse is the weather and she said this even before it started snowing back in October, but she will drive hours or to a different state so she can see her boyfriend or go to a casino with her other friends. I feel like she is taking me for granted and I am just someone to call when she is bored or has nothing else better to do. She will not bother if nothing is in it for her and only comes around when convenient to her. My sister just had a baby and she doesn't even call to see how everyone is doing or if she needed anything. What hurts the most is my sister named her baby after my friend and she doesn't even seem to care about us. Christmas was Thursday and she couldn't even wish any of us a happy holiday. She is very self-absorbed and it makes me sick. I am thinking of just ending the friendship, because I am tired of it.I am to the point where I no longer want any friends because they are not reliable. Why put myself through this hurt. I put all the work into this friendship and she doesn't. It is all one sided. Be glad you have a husband, because he can be your best friend. I don't even have a boyfriend. Do what you think is best. I have talked to my friend about how she treats me and she turned in around on me as if she had the "best friend of the year" award and made it seem like I was wrong for coming to her about these issues she though didn't' think even existed. My New Years resolution will be to hopefully have the courage to stop talking to her and move on to people who really care. Sorry for the long message. Good luck!

I think that you should be honest with these friends about how you feel. It's possible that they may not be aware of how badly they are neglecting you when you need support or it may be that they are selfish and, if that's the case, do you really want to remain friends with them? It would probably be easier for you to express yourself by writing to them but be tactful and don't mention specifics or make direct accusations. That would put them on the defensive. But, expressing how you are feeling and suggesting that it's not intentional on their part, gives them the opportunity to either make it right or to prove to yourself that you have been taken advantage of. I have had friends in my past who would suck the life out of me if I let them yet had no time for me if I needed someone to talk to. I got rid of them and have never regretted it. Good luck.

Well, that really happens. It's either we coninue being a friend and understand that maybe, she is just really always unavailable. Or we can tell her how we feel so she will know and might change it. Just always remember that all the kindness we show to our friends may not be returned by that same friend but can also be returned by other people around us. ;P Happy New Year!!!! ;P