calling all mylotters! i need your help!!!!!
By dloveli
@dloveli (4366)
United States
January 2, 2009 6:31am CST
Hey everyone! Listen I need your help. I have a neighbor. He is a single dad with a daughter. THe mom walked out on them and its been just them for quite sometime. We are very close to them. The dad is never smiling. The only time he is smiling is when he is playing with my dog. I talked it over with my husband and we have decided to buy them a puppy. A small dog. THe child has ADD and some other issues so I thought it could be good therapy for her as well. I talked to her dad and told him what I would like to do. Reluctantly he agreed. Here's where you guys come in. I was wondering if anyone out there has any information or small puppies available. I live in the United States, in Massachusetts. Obviously it would be great if you were close by. However, if you have some advice, information, or best wishes, please respond as well. I always appreciate input from you. If you do have small puppies please let me know. I am willing to discuss price and other details later. I am not looking for a freebie. Am I doing the right thing? I researched the idea. WHat do you think?
9 people like this
56 responses
@whiteheather39 (24403)
• United States
2 Jan 09
The idea is nice. You did not say how old the daughter was and if she is old enough to care for a puppy. You used the words "reluctantly agreed" to describe the father's response this is NOT a good sign. Puppies take/need a lot of care, it is expensive to keep up with the the costs of spaying/neutering, shots and regular vet care. I think you need to find out a LOT more about what the father feels about it as perhaps you just caught him off guard and he really does not want the added responsibility of a pet to his single father status with an ADD child.
2 people like this
@dloveli (4366)
• United States
2 Jan 09
I think I may have described the situation wrong. I have two dogs. One of which I just received at Christmas. They are always playing with my first dog. I saw how good they were with my babies and decided that I would pay for one for him as a gift. He jumped at the chance of having a puppy. He didnt like the idea that we wanted to pay. He is a very proud man. I do appreciate your input. I think in my rush to post a discussion I failed to explain it correctly. I am an animal lover. I do know that its like having another child. Especially if the dog is small. Thanks for pointing out the flaws in my discussion. I think that some people have a knack for animals and some dont. THEY DO! dl
1 person likes this
@cyberfluf (4996)
• Netherlands
2 Jan 09
I also agree that whiteheather39 has made a very valid point, and it was very informative to read your answer to the response. There indeed was some important information missing, and I was about to ask about the 'reluctant part' part aswell when I saw this response who basicly had gone over pretty much all the issues I wanted to respond about (and more).
I do think it's a very nice thought and it's great that you want to help them out. Have you considered lending them one of your dogs for a week and see how they are doing? That way they can experience what it is like to have a dog around the house 24/7. If they are doing well with your dogs at the time being and the dogs are easygoing and not too old, it could be a good idea?
@whiteheather39 (24403)
• United States
2 Jan 09
cyberfluf That is a very good idea and then she can also watch and make sure they are taking good care of the "loaner"! Dank U wel.![](/Content/images/emotes/happy.gif)
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2 people like this
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@moondancer (7433)
• United States
3 Jan 09
I think it's wonderful that you and your husband wish to help this family. The father is probably lonely and feeling over whelmed as he has a child with issues to deal with and no one in his life to help him.
I have a few miniture pinchers. I just love them. They are high strung at times and love to play. They are very good alarms as they notice everything that happens outside. I always know when someone is here because of them. They are loving and loyal. You will find all of them this way no matter which breed you get.
I suggest that you check out the local shelters in your area and see what they have. It will cost you around $50 more or less to get one.
Also there sre the sites for rescues to get a dog or puppy. You'll pay more and they are picky as to who gets them. It's adopting one and they want to make sure of things that it is a good place for the pet to go. You can get purebreeds in either place.
I'd also check out localsalesnetwork.com in your area. People have pets in there.
Many if your husband would offer for the father to go do something with him, fishing, bowling, golfing, anything. Offer to help out with the child to give him some time to do something on his own. It is hard for a single parent to cope when they have no help with the child and no freedom once in awhile.
Invite them over for dinner sometime.
Just anything you can think of to help and get involved with them in a friendly way.
Best wishes and good luck in your search. Let us know how things work out.
2 people like this
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@moondancer (7433)
• United States
3 Jan 09
I do understand. I thought about the same thing, lus he didn't seem to be reseptive of the idea. How about a hamster or something like that, a fish in a bowl. Something that doesn't require the things a puppy does but as a pet.
It would give her something to have as her own and talk to. Not much up keep there just feed and water and some attention.
Maybe get ehr started reading childrens books that are a series. If she's old enough to read. It will give her something to get interested in. Like the baby sitters club and there are a few more.
@dloveli (4366)
• United States
3 Jan 09
Thanks so much for the kind words. I am thinking that maybe its not such a good idea. After reading some of the responses I received, I began thinking. Its not going to be treated the way I treat my puppy because I am not the owner. His daughter has some behavior problems. I dont think it would be fair to put the dog thru that. SHe is super hyper. SHe is all over the place. I think that if he wants a dog, he can do it himself. THanks for seeing the good in my idea. It was a good idea. Only I cant do it to the puppy. THanks for responding. dl
1 person likes this
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@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
2 Jan 09
I think if he agreed reluctantly, then it's probably not a good idea. The child has ADD, which means the dog is going to end up being the dad's responsiblity, the child will forget to care for it. The dad seems to have enough on his plate trying to raise an ADD child, I know that can be frustrating, my brother had ADD and it was so stressful trying to care for him, let alone live in the same house.
2 people like this
@gwoman2 (710)
• United States
2 Jan 09
Hi Dloveli,
Please take heed to whiteheather39's advice...a dog, especially a puppy, is a great responsibility...and think about the training...maybe this person doesn't want the added responsibility and "reluctantly agreed" because it's for his child...
Remember many people love to play with "other people's doggies", but do not want to take care of them...it is a big, huge responsibility.
Please talk to him and make certain that he is willing to go the whole nine yards...if he still seems reluctant to you, then under no circumstances should you give them a pet. Save yourself some heartache and don't make a booboo that you will regret. Of course the child would be thrilled but does the child have the sense to take care of the animal?
I have 4 cats and my oldest has 2 giant Pit Bulls...the cats were at the request of my youngest at age 8, she is now 18 and believe me...I am the one who does all the dirty work, the feeding the physical care, everything...she does absolutely nothing!! My oldest is a very responsible pet owner, she takes very good care of her doggies and does everything for them...I help by taking them out when she is not home, but that's ok because I love them too!!
Do your homework and find out how this guy really feels...and you should mention to him the "great responsiblily" that he will be taking on:-)
~G~
2 people like this
@savypat (20216)
• United States
2 Jan 09
I have mixed feelings about this. It's either a very good thing or it may be a disaster. A small puppy is like getting another baby for that household, couldn't you get an older dog that has some training and is more child proof? I would think it's important to have a calming influence in the home not the excitability of a puppy. Aren't children with ADD excitable enough with out adding to that energy. Just my thoughts on the subject. Good Luck
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
3 Jan 09
Hi dloveli. I think it would be great if they got a puppy as long as you sure it will be cared for in a manner that's appropriate. My suggestion to you would be to go and look at the local animal shelter for a guy who needs a home as much as they need a pet. You can get them very reasonably and it will be up to date on it's shot plus spayed or neutered when the time is right if not already.Not only would you be doing a service to this family but to a homeless or misplaced animal too. Good luck.
2 people like this
@getnbuy (1312)
• United States
3 Jan 09
My first question is: why was he reluctant? Are you sure he wants a dog? Its a very nice idea, unless he really doesnt want the responsibility of a dog and just said yes to be polite. Does the child want a dog? that is another avenue to explore. If you determine that they really do want a dog, I think you should let them pick it out. Take them to animal shelters and to Pet smart when they show dogs. Ofcourse, you can't depend on them to stay little, so maybe if you want to be sure, you should buy a known breed. Other things should be taken into consideration, like how much room do they have for a dog to run- if it is not much get a small or toy dog. If they have allergies get a allergy free dog like a miniature schnauzer. They don't shed. And, above all, don't buy from a puppy mill. find someone who has a litter of dogs and wants to sell them. Then they will be more personable dogs.
1 person likes this
@mtdewgurl74 (18151)
• United States
3 Jan 09
I think that it is really great that you are trying to help and put a smile on your neighbors face. I would offer the advice of asking about allergies first just in case. Also a short legged,short haired Jack russell is what I would think would be a cute dog that wouldn't be over powering and they are loyal. Well wishing you best wishes on your project of spreading happiness..good luck.
1 person likes this
@nilzerous1 (2434)
• India
3 Jan 09
First of all, my sincere regards for you. After all who cares to see what makes his/her neighbors happy? I have not seen persons like you many times in my life.
But regarding a 'Puppy' as a gift, I think you need to analyze few points:
1. Do they really eager to share the responsibility of a puppy?
2. Do they travel outdoor much?
Actually, it really takes lots of efforts and patience to rear up a puppy. But for me this would have been the cutest gift even more valuable than a precious gemstones! May not be the same for someone else. And this is a fact!!!
Please discuss the matter thoroughly with them before making a final decision.
If everything is OK, go for a small breed. Regarding finding a breed, I have found some good links in this discussion. Hope this resolves your issue.
And finally, wish I could be your neighbor. Not specifically for this 'Puppy' gift but for the caring attitude you have!
Hats off to you.
1 person likes this
@Lindalinda (4111)
• Canada
2 Jan 09
If you have researched the topic and the dad agreed to have a puppy you are doing a wonderful thing. As far as what kind of dog to get you should be careful. Some dogs are people dogs, some breeds are child friendly others don't tolerate children very well, some need a lot of care and may be too much for a dad with child that has ADD. If I were you I would go to the local animal shelter and talk to the people there. They are very knowledgeable and may have the perfect dog or puppy. If this is not an option I would get in touch with a vet who specializes in pets and ask his/her opinion. Please don't get a puppy from a pet store or a puppy mill. You would be asking for trouble.
@dloveli (4366)
• United States
2 Jan 09
Hey Linda! You have my word that I will not buy from pet store or puppy mill. I wish everyone would take the same steps to ensure the proper care and well being for dogs and any other animal. Thanks for you response. Its nice to know that people care. dl
1 person likes this
@Loverbear (4918)
• United States
3 Jan 09
What size of "small" dog are you thinking of? When you say small I see chihuahua, you might have a different idea of small.
Also, what breed or mix are you thinking of? As everyone realizes, certain breeds are better suited to children than others. Also, if you are looking for a mixed breed, check your shelters for puppies. These dogs are sooo needful of good homes!
You are doing a wonderful thing. It has been found that animals are so beneficial to children with ADD and other problems. There will be a noticeable change in the daughter when she is interacting a lot with the puppy. Plus a puppy will help fill that void left by the "mother" taking off. (Sorry, I can't call someone a mother, when they abandon their family like that!) I feel that you are doing the right thing with talking to the father and asking if you could get them a puppy. I see his point in being a proud person who depends on himself for providing for the family. (We all are the same way when you get down to it!) I wish that my friend and dachshund breeder was close to you, I am sure she would be happy to help out, but we live in California. I hope you will find a puppy for them soon. If you don't mind a recommendation, find one that is a mix with Cocker Spaniel...they are such sweet loving dogs and will be patient with the family. Please keep us posted on what kind you decide on and when you find one.
1 person likes this
@lilybug (21107)
• United States
2 Jan 09
I think it is great that you want to do something nice for your neighbor. I would first check out any animal shelters or humane societies in your area. You can usually find good animals there, plus they give you a deal on shots and spay/neuter prices.
1 person likes this
@thomascap (3)
• China
4 Jan 09
Anyway i would like to say you are doing good to your neighbor.I live in China and cannot help you to find a puppy for your neighbor.I don't know if your neighbor has a good income to have a puppy at this moment.If yes and he agreed to have one,no problem.We can offer you some pet clothes what we have if your neighbor can pay the express charge from China to USA.Remember to get me the puppy chest,back and nect size in detail.Anyone has intresting with pets clothes can send me information to my mail box thomascap at vip dot sina dot com.
@sanjanaraman (237)
• United Arab Emirates
2 Jan 09
I think you are doing something really good and will make them happy. I don't live in the U.S, so I won't be of any help, but you asked for best wishes, so just know that I am wishing you all the very best. Happy MyLotting and good luck!
1 person likes this
@chulce (1537)
• United States
3 Jan 09
What a wonderful gift. Several readers have made valid points. About whether fitting a new puppy into the lives of this family will work. A loaner dog is a great idea, how ever, as you mentioned in your next comment the Dad jumped at the opportunity to have a dog. Do you know if he had a dog before? If so, then you don't have anything to worry about, he knows how much work it is to have a dog.
Depending on the type of ADD the child has choosing the right breed can be difficult. You will need a dog that is calm but also active enough to keep up with a child. Some breeds that work great with children are: Beagels, Basset Hounds, Golden Labs, Black Labs, Golden Retrievers, Irish Setters. Corgis are also great with kids.
You can find lots of info on the web about each of the breeds. Check in your area for breeders or here is another idea, check with rescue the breed rescue leagues, they may have puppies that need homes right now, due to the way the economy is. The people running the leagues are very good at certifying whether or not the dogs are up to working with kids, etc. The dogs are typically retrained, etc. My mother-in-law has two dogs that she got through a league, now mind you, these dogs were abused and needed a family that didn't have children, so, my in-laws taking them worked out great for both the dogs and for my in-laws. They have now had the rescues for 2 years.
Both of my dogs came from reputable breeders in New Mexico. I have a Basset Hound and a Pembroke Welsh Corgi. Both are very good with kids. Mind you I have 3 boys that are extremely active and can give the dogs the run around.
Good luck with your gift.
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
2 Jan 09
I don't know what you want from me, some suggestions on what kind of a dog?
that depends on the family,
first it has to be a dog that likes children,
then it has to be something they can deal with,
many dogs need lots of exercise are they able to do that for the dog,
some dogs are timid and the child might scare the dog
some dogs just like to be quiet and if this child is active it would not be a good fit,
once you know all the you can look for a breed that is great for this family
1 person likes this
@lynnemg (4529)
• United States
2 Jan 09
What you are trying to do is wondreful. I think that you should visit the local animal shelter and try to adopt a puupy or small dog for them. You could accomplish a couple of things that way. You would be helping your neighbors by getting them a loyal companion, and you could also help an animal that desperately needs a home. You could even take them there and let them pick out their new pet. I bet that little girl would just love to do that. What you are trying to do for them will be something that they will remember and appreciate in the years to come. Now, if you really do not want to go the animal shelter route, I would check the local paper and the bulletin boards in the stores in your town. A lot of times you cam find them there too.
1 person likes this
@bing28 (3795)
• Philippines
2 Jan 09
nice of you to be kind enough, being concerned with your neighbor. hehe regret we can't be neighbors am from the Philippines, too far...but that should be the best to be close to neighbors, I love neighbors who are friendly and caring, Wish you'll find a puppy for them, that's a good gesture, don
t worry am sure they can manage and afford to take care of that and really this would bring them joy. A good start of kindness for the new year. Happy New Year dioveli...
@conbill (369)
• United States
3 Jan 09
I would first make sure the dad really is willing to take the time neccessary to care for a puppy. Playing with someone elses pets is a far cry from taking care of one on your own. If he indeed wants a puppy I think it is a wonderful thing you are doing.
Have you talked to your local animal shelter? I am sure they could give you some good advice. We have Angels for Animals here in my community and the dogs you adopt from them are not free. They have been thouroughly checked out for disease, have shots, licsence and been spayed or nuetered. Also they can give you a good idea on the dogs temperment.
Good luck to you in your search, hope this has been of some help.
1 person likes this
@mozema (8)
• United States
2 Jan 09
Its really nice what you are doing, but I think he needs someone to take care of him and his daughter for a while before he is able to take care of another being even if this being is a pet, pets need a lot of attention and care like children, maybee you should try and find him a wife or a girlfriend, he is a lonely man now, a woman in his life will cheer him up and the daughter will feel secured knowing that there is another mommy. Hope this helped.
@ethansmommy06 (401)
• United States
3 Jan 09
oh that is too sweet of you! since i live far away from you im no help and no good. not sure what kind of dog you want to buy them but in my opinion a little fiest is a great pet. we had one and just loved him. great dogs and gentle. good luck and you are so sweet to do that. there is nothing wrong with having a heart!
1 person likes this
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