Parents: do you think its right to..

Not a parent, but as someone who knows a lot about the American public education system, this makesz no sense to me. The parents should have spoken to their local schools before doing this. Most schools put twins in seperate classrooms unless the parents have a problem wirh it. No, I don't agree with what the parents did.

Wow, I have never heard of anything like that, and why would anyone even consider that is beyond my thinking. I agree with you, it would make one feel less adequate in my opinion and that is just setting that child up for failure, wow I can't even imagine being that child, how strong it is going to have to be in order to overcome all the obstacles it's parents have just put in front of him or her. I have twins, and trust me I have taught all my kids to be individuals and they are individuals just as much as any other child. At one time I did request they be put in different classes since the teachers were having a hard time telling them apart, but they really did excel when they were in the same classes and in "competition" with each other to make the best grades, they are in HS now and couldn't care less what the other does now. I agree with you, I don't understand these parents thinking.

Sounds like a typical daft way of thinking that some parents will come up with. How about plastic surgery and change the appearance of one twin! How about a divorce and split the twins a state apart! The whole thinking behind this is just wierd.

If they really want the twins to be seperate individuals, why not send them to different schools then? Like you said, if I were the twin that was held back, I'd be sore as well. Imagine, being the same age as your sibling, but not able to grasp the same opportunities as he did.

As a parent, you have the right to choose whether to go along with the schools reccomendation of holding a child back. Under most circumstances, the school uses pretty fair judgement when making these decisions. In the case of seperatting twins just to separate them....absolutely not. I would never sign the papers necessary for this sort of thing to go thru. it is hard enough to deal with the ego blow a kid goes thru when held back for reasons that are really to his benefit...I would nevre put a kid that earned good grades and deserved to move forard back for any reason. it would be wrong.

I don't understand this, no. It doesn't make any sense from any standpoint. I HAVE heard though that some parents will purposely separate twins and have them in different classrooms, especially identical twins. I'm not sure why, it might have to do with them wanting to foster independence and have them viewed as completely separate individuals. I am not against this, however I'm sure that the kids themselves might have an opinion about it, and it might differ from what their parents think. One of the neatest things I would think about having a twin, especially an identical, is that wherever you go, you have somebody who is like you in some way, and the same age, with the same family and environment, so it is like your 'rock', someone familiar in any unfamiliar situation. This brings home that the perceptions of others may have nothing to do with what is really the reason or what is really going on, the intentions may be pure but what results might not be. People need to consider this before they let their intentions get the best of them. Now with kids who exhibit very different learning styles or one is definitely advanced or slower, maybe it's a good idea to meet them where they are at, but that doesn't mean promote one and hold the other back. I would say this means just address their different learning styles yet try to keep them on the same path - different classes or giving one tutoring or enrichment opportunities might be a better idea.

I believe this could cause other problems for the twins. It isn't fair for the parents to make such a choice. They were born as twins and will be seen as twins for many years to come. That was God's intention. Yes, they will have individual habits that will make them different but they also share a special bond that no one else will ever experience and disturbing that process is unfair to them.

I would never have even thought of doing that. Yes we have twin daughters and I cant imagine how it would have made one feel to be kept back like that. I dont understand what these parents were thinking at all. No matter what they are individuals and schools normally put them in different classes anyways. Also as you stated it wasn't gonna un-twin them! Yes they are twins but individuals in all since of the words. They would each have found their way and had different friends, everything!

i understand the want of parents to have their chldren be considered individuals.. but stunting their education for that purpose so theyd be tought of as seperate is pathetically going over board on it. they couldve just simply made sure the kids were in different classes with different teachers and a different circle of friends. so no.. i wouldnt hold any of my kids back for any reason other than they needed to stay another year because of their own individual development level.

I think twins fight their whole life to be recognized as individuals bt holding one back because they are twins is making the problem worse, not helping the child. Why not enroll them in a different school if it is that important to them. Children will sort it out on their own. No need to pick favs within your own family -- and that is how the held-back twin would perceive it, no matter how it is justified to them

It doesn't make much sense... hindering your own child's education just because you don't want them to be more individualistic? That makes no sense to me... i am not a psychologist but i am certain that this sort of thing ruins the kid's self-esteem at the very least... the whole question of "why me.. why not him/her?" comes into play. How do they chose? i don't know-- perhaps they pick a number between 1 and 10 and the highest number gets to go through school normally?? I dunno... simply the whole concept isn't sinking in properly in this skull of mine.

wow , never heard anything this stupid. My younger brother & sis are twins. they went to same school, college are great pals.Helped each other in studies. Today both of them are leading successful lives in their respective fileds. The attachment of a sibbling is a blessing to cherish.Why separate the twins that were destined to be together by nature. How can parents decide as to who should stay longer in school? The experimenting that goes on while parenting is one of the tragedies of modern living.

Oh my gosh. Twins are so special. I think they should never be separated unless they decide this on their own or there is a very good reason to do so. I love to see sets of twins interacting with each other. I knew a set of Mexican twin boys, and actually when I got older, I married one of them. They were called Big Joe and Little Joe. I married Big Joe. Big Joe was always just a little bit bigger than his twin, Little Joe. They were fun to be around and so very close to each other. It seemed like they had some kind of special connection that they always knew where and how the other one was doing, and yet, they were very different as individuals.

I know a pair of twins who was almost in that predicament. They are both smart but the other one was in an upper ranked section and she was the one who was almost made to stop school in order for the older one (the one in the lower ranked section) to go ahead. There are other underlying reasons why their parents wanted the other one to go ahead, one of that is financial problems because they also have an older sister who was graduating the same year so it's hard for them to make ends meet however they also wanted both to have this "individuality." I guess, like you, I also consider this unfair, especially that the one being held back is the one who is smarter, being in the upper ranked section. Also, people don't judge them because they're twins. They have different sections and they are completely to different persons with different sets of friends, etc. It just isn't fair to held one back for the sake of the other.

hello moonlitmagikchild, In my own opinion, I think that is not fair to the one who is left behind. Since they're twins they should go together in school at the same time. This way, they can enjoy each others company and learn together. They can even teach one another. And even protect each other. Unlike if the other way around, the other one will feel that their parents love him less and that he/she is not a favorite. This will have a great effect to the child from his/her early age till such time that he/she will get old. Parents should consider the feelings of both parties to the extent that they're not making problem at all. I think and I believe they should not do that.

Wow, that is really a weird situation, that I have never heard of. WTF? I am wondering how you find 2 parents wacked out enough to agree on this? Not even as if they were already in school. The parents probally definitely created some esteem issues between the kids that didn't even have to be. If seperation and identity was their whole point, then why not send themto seperate schools?

That's completely wrong for the kid to be held back. Everyone will know they are twins and will think of the one held back as being stupider. Usually schools put twins in separate classrooms so they can develop their own identity.

Those people are crazy or maybe one of them was a bit slower and they just didn't want to admit it. Kids at school are going to wonder why they are not in the same grade. If they don't want them to be viewed as "twins" make sure they are not in the same classes. This way people get one on one time with them.

That is so wrong on so many levels. What does that do to the self-esteem of the child kept back. I am the parent of twins and would never have thought of doing such a thing. If one had lacked in skills after starting school would be one thing but to make that decision before they even begin is rediculous.

No definitely you are thinking in the right way, even if not twins parents must give equal importance to their children. It would be the worst thing to do with the siblings to categorize them. Such an approach will bring conflicting thoughts between the siblings themselves. Here once used to be a classification according to gender, but its almost gone, as far I know, even that should not be allowed, whether its a twin or not, whether its a boy or a girl, both must be given equal opportunity to prove themselves, at least while they are under the guidance of their parents.