i need some help?
By jhl930
@jhl930 (3601)
United States
January 3, 2009 1:36pm CST
here's the thing with me and my girlfriend, her family doesn't really like me and they are always talking trash about me, and she has admitted that and i've ask her before why she didn't stick up for me, and i said i only remember one time that you stuck up for me, and she said that it was because it was her family, but we've been together almost a year now, and im not saying pick me over her family or anything but i don't understand why she can't just stick up for me, i'm not doing anything wrong to her or anything they just start talking trash, like when i bought her a christmas gift, her brother swore that it was so i could get something out of her, and its not the case at all...so anyone have any ideas? i want to thank you for taking the time out of your day to come by and read and review my discussion, and hopefully answer, i hope that you all have had a great week and that you have a happy and safe evening and weekend, thanks again for taking the time to come by!
2 responses
@breepeace (3014)
• Canada
3 Jan 09
I agree with goodhappens... The more they trash talk you, the more they are pushing her away from them and towards you. As long as you're not trash talking back, of course. She's always going to take into consideration who was the bigger person through all of it, and be more inclined to side with that person. It's hard to side with people who are being petty.
I understand where you're coming from, though. I was in a relationship with a man whose parents didn't like me, and whose friends thought we weren't a good match. I toughed it out for almost 3 years and although sometimes it killed me not to say something when his best friend invited his ex fiancee out for dinner with us, or when his dad made a catty remark about me, I did. We ended up breaking up for other reasons, but I'm happy I always stood up for myself tactfully and without stooping to their level.
You have to see things from her point of view.. it's difficult to go against your family, and if she's the type of person who doesn't like conflict, rebutting against everything mean they say about you might be more than she can handle. When it gets to be too much though, she'll remember she has loyalties to you and nothing will be able to stop her from defending you. Bide your time if you love her and want to be with her. If it's too much for you, then take your leave of her and the situation. Families CAN come around, given time, but it's the exception rather then the rule and you have to decide if you want to be battling out the nasty in-laws for the rest of your life or not.
@goodhappens (671)
• United States
3 Jan 09
Patience, I know a year seems like a long time already, but remember her family does have her best interest at heart, and to be honest the more trash they talk about you the more they push her into your arms, so don't worry about it.
If she would stick up for you, it would just cause stress in her home, and you are not wanting her to be any more stressed then it already is do you?
If you are treating her good, and she is happy in time they will see that you are not the "bad" guy they have been trying to make you out as.
Time tells all, be patient and try not to put more stress on her, she is with you and taking enough trash from her family, she needs to have a refuge of peace with you.
Peace and smiles
