Do You Expect Your Children To Pay Rent
By Grandmaof2
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
Canada
January 4, 2009 2:13am CST
As long as your children are living at home and working do you expect them to pay something towards rent or towards the food bill? In my family we were not very well off but we had enough to eat. I was working part time and going to school when I first offered to buy some groceries and I was told no that as long as I lived at home dad felt it was his job. I had to walk to work and of course didn't have a car. I didn't smoke or drink and I had a few dollars so I just went to the grocery store and asked the owner if I shopped to help the family would he deliver the groceries on his way home. I explained that my dad said no he didn't expect me to help but I wanted to. The grocery owner gave me more praise than anyone and he told me anytime at all. I had him deliver groceries many times before I moved out and not once did he want money for gas or delivery. Days Gone By
23 people like this
64 responses
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
4 Jan 09
I was expected to when I got my first job. My father wanted me to hand over all my paycheck and yet I helped my mother. I never heard him ask my brother who was two years younger then me. When our sons got their jobs, my husband said since they were going to University, they did not have to pay any rent. Of course I thought that if we had had daughters, that he would have asked them. However I expected my sons to do something at least to help out. And I am sure they did, but I had the lesson from my father that girls have to hand over their paychecks, boys do not, that still bothered me.
2 people like this
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
5 Jan 09
I have to agree with you that was totally not fair all the way around. We need to teach ALL our kids the same set of rules and responsibilities I think.
1 person likes this
@Barb42 (4214)
• United States
5 Jan 09
suspenseful, I think your Dad was wrong. Parents should not show any difference between daughters and sons. And why would he want all your money? Did he spend it or save it for you? Or did he manage it and give you an allowance? Some men think women can't think for themselves. I remember, when my MIL used to cover furniture for other people, my FIL would take the money she earned and put it in the bank, not letting her spend any of it. I knew right then I'd never be treated that way! My husband tells me my money is mine to do whatever I want to do and he pays the bills. But I buy things for us and for the house, pay for Christmas, because I think the money is ours, not mine or his, since we are a family.
2 people like this
@mimico (3617)
• Philippines
4 Jan 09
Awww that's really sweet of you. Some people, yourself included, are just more grateful than others. I know some people who help out with their family business and don't expect to get paid because they don't have rent. However, I also know of some kids who take for granted what their parents give them and even demand for more. Anyway, thanks for sharing this touching story, I'm sure you'll have good karma in the future.
2 people like this
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
5 Jan 09
I have already had so many times got good karma. My daughter was a gift from heaven I am sure of that. I have seen how some kids grow to abuse parents. I thank God literally every day for my blessings!!! Thank You my friend.
@LittleMel (8742)
• Canada
4 Jan 09
we don't have kids but if we do I think we will tell them to share utility, grocery and phone bills. we don't have big house so mowing the lawn, raking leaves etc will not be a big problem for us to do alone. in return we will pay their tuition fee. I don't have hands on experience so this may sound a bit off but that's all I can think of right now.
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
5 Jan 09
Your thoughts are not off at all. Different things work in different ways from one family to another. As long as kids learn responsibity that's the main issue.
@drannhh (15219)
• United States
4 Jan 09
Well, as you know, we never had any children, but I think that bit about paying "rent" would have something to do with how much work the children did around the house. If they pulled their weight, I would say no, because they should be saving for college. But if their mum is doing the laundry and cleaning up after them and feeding them, then by all means they should come up with some cash on schedule. Hah, there is no way I would let a kid act like that, though. If the family really needs the money then I can see the children trying to help out, but you know, children should not have to take care of their parents financially; it is supposed to be the other way around.
2 people like this
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
4 Jan 09
Thank You for your response. You think very much along the same way as my father. I like to get different oppinions, gives something to think about.
@nanajanet (4436)
• United States
5 Jan 09
Yes. Right now my daughter is not as her boyfriend took off when she became pregnant and she has no child support so we are helping out. But once the baby is two, unless she finds her own place, she will be paying rent. Of course, we will make it so it won't break her. It is not about needing the money but rather about not letting her take advantage.
My son paid rent when he lived with us, too. My husband and his siblings paid rent and I used to give my mother money on a weekly basis, even though she did not ask for it.
1 person likes this
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
5 Jan 09
I sure hope the boyfriend will be held accountable for child support, that's a terrible display on his part. I am happy for your daughter that she has you, and hopefully she knows how lucky she is to haved a good Mom, something that I didn't have. I totally believe that it's possible to wreck our kids life to hand them everything and be over protective. Something you have no intention on doing and Good for you. You're a good parent for sure! Congratulations too by the way Grandma.
3 people like this
@nanajanet (4436)
• United States
6 Jan 09
She is torn whether to go after child support as he has a child by his first girlfriend (before they started dating). He was paying support and seeing him and then, when he left my daughter, he left the other kid hanging, too, and she does not want him in the baby's life.
She is in contact with his entire family and he has not contact with any of them. She is not saying no to it but right now is worried that it will give him permission to pop in and out of her life anytime he likes. It is a Catch-22.
Thanks. We do our best but I believe in tough love. Love them but do not be so soft as they squash you like a marshmallow!! LOL
1 person likes this
@leenie50 (3992)
• United States
6 Jan 09
Janet,
I think, even though you didn't ask, that she should go after the child support. A lot of you women worry about that but the odds are that he doesn't want anything to do with the child. Like the other girl he left hanging, if your daughter lets him off scot free, he'll just keep leaving girls and his children in his wake. Somehow he needs to be held accountable. This happens so often for that very reason. I hope your daughter rethinks the situation.
I truly care.
leenie
1 person likes this
@KatieDidit (989)
• United States
4 Jan 09
When the kids were going to school - no rent. Going to school and studying only left time for a part time job to help with their school expenses and have a little fun.
Once they were out of school. Yes, they paid rent. Not as much as they would pay being out on their own, but a prorated portion of their earnings. A small part of their "rent" went to help cover their use of the common services, electrcity and garbage. The rest I saved to give back when they moved out.
Having them pay rent at home can really help them adjust to moving out and making it on their own without too much hardship. They have to budget and they're accustomed to that money coming out of their pocket every month.
It was helpful for my boys.
@Polly1 (12645)
• United States
4 Jan 09
I think that grown children who are working should help out with expenses. They need to learn that things cost money. There is no free lunch. I had to go back home for a short time, after being on my own. I helped out with groceries too. That was really nice that the grocery owner didn't charge extra for delivery.
1 person likes this
@Polly1 (12645)
• United States
7 Jan 09
I would have starved to after that comment. I was told that I could come back if I learned how to follow rules and regulations, hehe. What she didn't know didn't hurt her. I was determined not to go back, but then I got mixed up with some nut that wanted to kill a bunch of women, including me, it was time to get the heck up out of there, he lived in the same apartment building that I did. I had originally moved out within a week of turning 18. Now I think my mom would be thrilled to have me back. She is getting older and is alone. But then I have my own house, and like my own rules and regulations.
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
6 Jan 09
These were the Good ole days for sure. Back when I was growing up, I never had a job outside the home, as I came from a really small town, so there were no jobs to be had. But I feel most of the time once a child is over 18 and working Full time, you should have them help out with Rent, or groceries, etc. just to help get them ready for the real world as well. I have seen many kids who continue to live at home well into their 20s and sometimes later that once they get on their own they know nothing about Responsibility and $$ and end up worse off than many others for sure.
1 person likes this
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
6 Jan 09
Yes that's the honest truth I've seen the same thing happen with people right here that I know. Sad it really is and could be prevented. Thank You so much for your good response.
1 person likes this
@carolbee (16230)
• United States
4 Jan 09
What a good daughter you were to your parents. When I lived at home and was working full time, my parents expected me to pay rent. I did and lived with them until I was married. It was cheaper in the longrun to live with my parents instead of my own apartment or house. When two of our kids moved back in with us, I didn't ask them to pay anything. They were in college and really trying to work hard at their studies and only worked part time. If they would use their earnings for spending money, that did help us out. It worked very well.
1 person likes this
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
4 Jan 09
That's real good. Different things work in different ways in families and as long as responsibility is learnt in a positive way that's the important thing.
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
4 Jan 09
HOw nice of him!
SO many people want to charge now for helping some one and thats a shame I try my best never to ask for gas money if I can but just sometimes I am broke and cant put back in the gas I used and I do need the gas just in case something goes wrong and I have to take someone to the doc.
When kids grew up and moved in and out or they stayed in th ehouse while we were on the road yup they took care of what they ate and some of the bills but if not working we paid themn all. and we paid for 2 places! where we were and at tour house!.
Now Daughter and I buying house so we both pay bills and house note!
1 person likes this
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
4 Jan 09
Thank You for your response, sounds like you have a good system working for you. Thank You.
@poppoppop111 (5731)
• Canada
9 Jan 09
if my daughter was living at home and going to college then no because i know how expensive school can be, i'm in school right now and supporting my household and i have no student loans. anyway but if she is 18 and out of school then yes i would make her pay something. probably according to her pay check. whatever she could afford at the time
1 person likes this
@annjilena (5618)
• United States
6 Jan 09
i can,t live for free why should they.yes i expect them to help out this teaches them responsiblity on how to run there house one day.if they was out on there on they would have to pay and buy food.
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
6 Jan 09
I definately agree with you and besides once we die how could we expect our kids to look after the house and make a living for themselves? Thank You so Kindly for your response.
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
4 Jan 09
good for you!! you appreciated your upbringing , so many don't. i never ask my sons for rent & help when they were home but it would have been nice for them to offer. didn't either one of them move out to they were 20. one came back for awhile, that didn't work out too well. lol i still don't ask them for much. don't feel like i should have to. they were very good to me w/all my health battles & i really did appreciate that.
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
5 Jan 09
By being good to you they are learning responsibility and as long as they have good values they'll do fine. I'm happy for yopu that they are there to help and stand by you. Take Care.
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
5 Jan 09
they are 27 & 47 years ond. if they haven't learned by now , don't guess they will, lol
@Barb42 (4214)
• United States
5 Jan 09
We never asked our children to pay rent. But,when our son started to college at 18 and was working full time, my husband turned his car over to him in his name and he paid the insurance and started keeping his own car up. Then, at 20, he moved into his own apartment and has kept himself up from that day on. He's now almost 41, married, has a very good job. If we had needed help, we would have asked him for some help, but we didn't.
1 person likes this
@babylove1983 (176)
• United States
8 Jan 09
My husband and I are currently leaving at his mom and dads house. At first we do not pay rent but his dad said we have to pay so starting this month we are going to pay 400 a month. I was never expecting paying some rent because my husband is always out for 28 days because of his job and home for 2 weeks. We don't use much electricity,water and for food, we buy some for ourselves and dont really eat that much. But well that's their rule.
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
9 Jan 09
So you think because your husband is away for 4 weeks and home for 2 weeks and you don't use much water or power or eat much...that his parents should support you (house you and feed you) full time and also your hubby when he is home. If you don't agree with "their rule" why don't you move out?? You sound quite selfish to me.
1 person likes this
@vanities (11395)
• Davao, Philippines
5 Jan 09
so kind of you and im sure you really love your parents and God will bless you for that im sure...im a parent too with four grown up children ..in our case no we don't expect that much..but if they volunteer why not? actually they shoulder all the expenses last Christmas and new years preparation..and i mean all even give us gifts...@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
5 Jan 09
Well that is real good. It's sure nice to be blessed with good families. Thank You so very much for your response.
2 people like this
@violeta_va (4831)
• Australia
5 Jan 09
No I dont expect my son to pay rent at all. I would do exacly what I have been doing for him (cook, wash) if he does not like what I cook he can buy what he wants. I would help him in every way that I can after all I am not going to take my house and money with me when I die. All I do in life is for him (and the little one due in april). Some things will change like buying petrol or clothes or money to go out but as long as the house and food go and things like that I dont expect anything. In return I want him to find good care for me when I get old and sick 
1 person likes this
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
5 Jan 09
Thank You for your response. we will all get old and sick one day for sure.
2 people like this
@gitfiddleplayer (10362)
• United States
5 Jan 09
I would expect an adult to help with rent, children should be immune to paying rent but they should be taught to save their money.
1 person likes this
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
5 Jan 09
Yes absolutely and Thank You for your response.
1 person likes this
@Barb42 (4214)
• United States
5 Jan 09
We didn't have that much when I was home, either, but we never went without. When I started to work, I had to either drive or ride with someone and it was about 45 minutes away. My parents never asked me to help on anything. But I did help my mother by buying things for my brother which was 5 years younger. I drove one of their cars to work for a long time, so I bought the tires for the car when they were needed. So I did help some, although not asked to help with the finances.
1 person likes this
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
5 Jan 09
We didn't have much either but it feels good to help and I think we're better people in the end. Thank You for your response.
1 person likes this
@candymarie (1368)
• Canada
5 Jan 09
Well I know when I was "of age" and had a job, I TOLD my mother she's getting rent from me no matter what.
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
5 Jan 09
That is really good of you and it helps you out as well in the end. Keeps you somewhat independant and face it no one lives for free. Thank You for your response.
1 person likes this
