Am i a good mother still?
By isabella123
@isabella123 (688)
Canada
January 4, 2009 5:42pm CST
I love my son more than anything in the whole world and i also have a step daugther who is like my precious little girl.But i find myself loosing my patience with her a lot more,especialy when my step daugther get here every other friday.You see; she has other older siblings at her mom and sometime she learn some horrible stuff,also i don't think they have any rules over there.It makes it very frustrating for me and i wish i didn't feel that way...i love her very much but she can also drive me crazy.She is only 6 but trust me she sometime sound like a 15 years old.It not her fault i know that, i just wish i could find more patience with her so that she doesn't feel differente when she is with us....her other family.Any suggestion?
1 person likes this
4 responses
@psspurgeon1 (1109)
• United States
5 Jan 09
Well, one thing you can do is to set your ground rules for your house and inforce them. One being attitude and behavior towards others. My daughter is six and she still takes time out for attitude. Once you set your rules and she sees that she has to obide by them at your house, she will probably settle down alot. Also, try to find special activities for you two to do together that will maybe gain you some "cool points" or make her feel more like your daughter. It is nothing you are doing wrong as a mother. It is an instinct that most of us have which is having much more patience for our own children. It's nothing that you are doing wrong, but given the fact that you are married to her dad, it would make them both feel good to get some structure and activities going on and develop a bond. It will get easier. It may never be easy but it will get easier. Good luck:-)
1 person likes this
@psspurgeon1 (1109)
• United States
5 Jan 09
It will. The rules though will allow you the break from disobedience. Another thing I found with myself is that I have much higher expectations for my older daughter then my younger daughter. It is hard to recognize that she is just six cause she seems so much older. That makes a big difference in how I respond to her. If I remind myself often or when she gets in trouble it always reduces my anxiety in the situation. If I forget, it seems much worse because I take for granted her slightly advanced maturation and peg her for a ten year old committing a six year old act! It's hard. It sounds to me though that you are a wonderful parent. Any parent that recognizes weaknesses in theirselves and tries to improve it is a good parent. It's easier to beat ourselves up sometimes that to say "hey, were not half bad at this"!
1 person likes this
@isabella123 (688)
• Canada
5 Jan 09
Thank you for your advice.I do take my daugther for time alone with me,we call it girls outing witch she love.She is a wonderful little girl and she deserve the same amount of attention than her brother.I just don't always have the same patience with her and i am working on it,i'm sure it will get easier with time and enderstanding.
You should discuss this problem with your husband, maybe he can talk to the girl's mother and that might help a lot 
@dfollin (25351)
• United States
4 Jan 09
No you a bad mother.You need to talk to your husband about it.Does he see her actions as well?
@isabella123 (688)
• Canada
5 Jan 09
WOW..Don't you think i've done that all ready.I ask other people's opinion and piont of view so i can help us.but thank's for your opinion.:(
@StrawberryKisses (2833)
• Canada
5 Jan 09
I honestly think that dfollin made a typo. You are not a bad mother. It is always harder to keep patience for kids that are not really yours. You will be fine just keep your cool with her and make sure she knows what is expected of her when she is at your home.
1 person likes this
@sdecatur1 (3)
• United States
5 Jan 09
Deep breathes before reacting to her. Patience is a skill we have to get good at before we can be an expert at using it. Hopefully her father stands by your side when you make decisions involving her. My six year old daughter drives me crazy...and she is my own! (LOL) So perhaps it's a co-relation between us girls and that age group. As long as you can honestly look back at your reactions and understand why someone would have reacted to your son in that matter (had the tables been turned) and not feel bad about it then you do not need to second guess your mothering skills. We all do/say things that we wish we could later take back...but hindsight is 20/20. It is those successful moms who have the ability to correct the issue for future instances. Good Luck!
