Do Widowers Have a Better Time?

More women widowed than men is my take on it. Also, my sexist remark for the day. All those widowed men are probably catting around with younger women. Not totally true, of course, but some of them are. Works the other way around though.

I do think it is assumed that women cope beter. Although I cannot answer why. When my aunt passed away we had that very scenario. That has been a little over a year ago and most of the ladies in the family either call him or go by and check on him to make sure he has what he needs etc. Now a few months ago my grandfather passed away and my grandmother is lucky if she gets a visit from anyone in the family once a week. And this is the same family! My grandmother has been through losing a son, a daughter and now a husband. Admittedly so she is a very strong lady. She raised 9 kids, lived off of next to nothing and now in her time of being alone they are all tending to her son-in-law! Go figure!

Do Widowers have a better time? From seeing my mother in law widowed and my grandmother no they don't. When a man is widowed he has everyone bringing him stuff and doing stuff for him and cleaning well that happens for some men..not sure about all..but with a woman it is different. I am basing my thoughts on what I seen though and it probably isn't that way for all. I don't think it is because woman cope better or grieve less, But some just think woman migh be stronger so don't need their supprt anymore just because they tyr to put on a brave face and hides their feelings..now this is only a opinion so if I am wrong,then I am wrong and just grateful that I haven't had to experience personally as of yet.

Frankly I think it goes back to the age old stereotyping of the purpose of the sexes. Women marry, have children, keep the home. When they are widowed, their "job" is done. Men are the providers and responsible for procreating. Their job is never done. Even though times have changed and women are now afforded greater status in many areas, old beliefs and attitudes linger in the primal memories. So widows are expected to remain single with dignity and decorum. But as there are more women than men in many societies, men who are single for whatever reason will always find themselves making up 'even numbers' at dinner parties and pursued. You know I'm waiting for widowhood? lol I intend to remain decorously dignified and very single!

I do agree that widowers may find the social aspects of being alone slightly easier, but I'm not sure that it is because others necessarily assume that women cope better. I think it's because it's just easier for single men to put themselves forwards in social situations. If you went into a pub, for instance, and saw a single lady nursing a drink you would probably look twice or assume she was waiting for someone. But single men are pretty much the mainstay of traditional British pub culture. I've no personal experience of this phenomena you understand, it's just what I observe.

I may be wrong but I believe that women do cope better and it is great that she had this party.. Then again, after everyone has left and gone on with their lives, she may be just as lonely as ever.. Most women think long and hard before jumping into a new relationship but men are different animals, and I am not sure if I am saying that in jest or not.. I do believe people look at men as being more helpless than women are, whether it is the truth or not, and they want to help the man more than they do the woman.. I am sure they figure that she is capable of handling things for herself, but it isn't always true.. Also, if the old standards are true, there are more women than men, so therefore, there will be more women to help the men and less men to help the women.. She had better get out there and start scrambling, if she doesn't like the life of peace and tranquility that she is living now..

there are advantages and disadvantages.in our country,a lady widow is never left alone(the concept is slowly changing now).she has the support of her kids.and it is a myth that women need men and women are great actors,they like to show they are more vulnernable and that the other half is indispensable. belated happy new year.

I'm not really sure. I have never been a widow. My mother has been twice though and remarried. She did not weant to live life alone.

Hi p1ke, women cope better than a man in all ways...but when widowed it really depends how doted she was towards to her husband, some women would never dream of haveing another relationship with any other man, as their dear departed was their life...other women do make that effort to see another man but obviously are wary about whom they see. The situation really depends on each individual woman and how they feel...hugs LoLo

I feel its all about the personality..if someone is shy and withdrawn it will take longer and some people don't know how to help..but if a person is outgoing and funny they will use that as a crutch to get over their feelings and move on..people will be able to handle that easier and hang around that person feeling better and not scared of what to say or do..

I am not a widow but i have been a single parent for 15 years. I have cope up with the hardships of bringing up my girls alone. I have lots of friends, male and female, online and friends here with me.I enjoy their friendship and company and i know i can count on them when needed. They are the reason why i have survived the trials in my life. But there will always be the time when i feel so alone, needing the company of someone special. Someone whom to be with always, as friends can't stay with me all the time. Someone to share my life with and often times it makes me feel so lonely and sometimes depressed.I know i need to be strong for my girls but i need to be strong for me too and sometimes i feel that i need someone to lean on to. But what can i do, i chose this life so i continue to live it with my girls.

I think it has to do with emotional intelligence. It is well known that woman are more emotionally attached than man, so there you got your reason for suspicion. However, I also think it is natural that after awhile you move on, and start to live your life putting your past in the safe place behind you.

Hi p1ke! I don't think that is always the case! My Mom has been a widower twice and lives in Florida! She always has friends wanting to fix her up! And if her last boyfriend didn't die she would have been married for the third time! She had two boyfriends and two husbands! She seemed to be doing better than most of the other widower woman! But, she is really a very beautiful and outgoing woman who most men are attracted to! And there are more women than men that are widowers in Florida! The ratio of women to men that are widowed is really unbelievable! I think it is like 10 to 1! My Mom is a hotty! She will be 78 next month!

Yes, women are emotionally stronger than men. There are studies conducted which supported this theory. It is because women could cry and express their pain and sorrow outwardly and therefore could "release" all negative emotions easily. This would rejuvenate them and de-stress them easier. When a person cries (emotional stress), substances called endorphins are produced by the brain which would decrease the feeling of melancholia. That's why after crying, people "feel better" and they feel relieved because there is a physiological basis of that feeling of relief. Men on the other hand, could only do this to a certain extent (cry, wail, express extreme feelings) because of the preconceived idea set by society of what men should do. ("You are a bog boy now, stop crying." Why are you wailing, are you a sissy?" "Act like a man, don't cry.") So they're left fewer options to de-stress (most men would not wail at the top of their voices) and let go of these unwanted substances. This will be detrimental to their health as well. This is a good discussion, P1. Happy mylotting.

I don't know about people assuming women cope better but if you think about it this way - stats show that women live longer than men but also it's more often than not that women marry men older than them, so it follows that many more women will be widowed compared to men. From my experience of widowed people in general and I know far more widowed women than men (family friends mostly) I do agree that it seems men get far more attention and offers of help for longer than women. In general it's assumed that a woman will just get on with it whereas people seem to feel more sorry for a widower, comments like "Gosh how is he coping?" are heard way more often than about widows! Especially in Indian society which I find quite strange (NB: I'm Indian so I'm not being racist just speaking frome experience) - women are expected to rely on men their whole married lives to look after things like the banking, bills, any official paperwork as men are considered (even when they're not) to be smarter than women (yeah right) and when these women are widowed suddenly they have to cope with these things which can be a real nightmare but when it's a man, his main setbacks (generally) are things like making his own tea or food or using the microwave which are not really difficult things but people worry more about whether HE's eating properly than if SHE's coping with the financial side of things. Ooh do I sound biased? I think so, but then again I'm fairly emancipated so I can look after myself in all aspects, financial and otherwise, even though I have my darling hubby in my life (and may he be there longer than me)!

I would agree with this and it is not just women who are widowed but also those who are divorced. When my parents divorced she was cut off by his family and their friends because they were all her husbands people. Her own family were in another country so all she had were her children. Where as the man is seen as a good catch so the women who are single all flock around to see if they can hook him. It is not a matter of the woman coping better but more a case that she is now unwanted. Now that she is single she is seen as a threat and competition by other single women.

I think it might be that men aren't as assertive as women are. Apparently, from what I've read, men want to be in a relationship but aren't very proactive about it. Women, on the other hand, pursue a widower like a bee to honey. Maybe your friend enjoys being on her own. It's not always the right thing for a person to have a relationship, some people (especially women) cope very well alone and even enjoy it--especially if they've been married or committed to someone for a long time. I'm not saying she didn't love her husband but she may be enjoying the first freedom she's ever known and have no interest in another man. If not, I hope she finds a gem.

The widowed friend gave a party means she might be seeking some company of others to get some enjoyment. And she might be want to forget the looneliness she faces everyday with out her companion. Widowers aare always kept a aside for every reason that they should not do but if they do something it is being noticed by everybody. She want to forget the sorrow and want the enjoy the life as normal. Happy posting and have a nice day.

I don't know if a widow or a widower handles the situation better. I do know that my mom lost her boyfriend and she took it pretty hard for years. She handles it pretty good now but she hasn't even dated since he passed.

I don't think people assume that women cope better, I just think women have an inborn desire to nurture. When they hear about a man who has lost his wife they want to take care of him. But when it comes to helping a women who lost their husband they just don't do it as long, and I don't think they stop hanging aroun dbecause they think she can cope. I think they are afaid of identifying with her because the thought of losing someone they care about terrifies them. So they back off after a little while because they need to distance themselves from that level of pain out of self defence. Men are no less caring than women as people but I think sometimes they just don't know what to do in situations like that. So both sexes end up backing away from the widow but women will be in it for the long haul to help the widower get through it. Did you guys stay to help her clean up, by the way?