can't do whatever i want in my inlaws house!!
By goodtogo
@goodtogo (149)
Pakistan
January 9, 2009 1:14am CST
i am living my inlaws and whenever i want to eat something or drink something or watch a program of my own interest on TV i can't do it.I don't know if others also feel the same.Suppose i want to make one glass of juice for me or i want to eat something with tea.so if they are not having anything with tyea how can I? I have this feeling that thjey will discuss about me or i donb;t know what but i feel so difficult to live with my inlaws.I raelly need some suggestions if you guys can help me out of this problem.
1 person likes this
4 responses
@aisaellis22 (6445)
• United States
9 Jan 09
Hello goodtogo! It seems that you're not comfortable living with your in laws. It's really hard to live with your inlaws. That's why if ever I won't really live with them. Why don't you suggest to your partner that you must have your own house? I mean you should build a home where only the two of you?
@goodtogo (149)
• Pakistan
9 Jan 09
Thanx aisaellis22 for your suggestion.yes you are right but you know its not easy to leave them and go to a new house in the same city.If my husband gets job somwhere else then it's possible but in the same city people are going to say bad things about me that i was not good with my inlaws or things like that and also the house rent and all the expenses we are little bit confused whether we can manage them or not.
@aisaellis22 (6445)
• United States
9 Jan 09
that's what i thought too. Well maybe right now, tell your husband to buy you a television set on your room so you don't have to watch a tv with your inlaws..heheh..am I mean? Am I teaching you to be bad?
@ladynetz (968)
• Canada
11 Jan 09
I always say: don't live with your in laws. Nor even with your parents, once you're married.
Everyone wants to feel comfortable in its own house and be the "boss". That's only normal.
What you have to do (I would) is rent a small apartment, go out and look for work.
You can not stay in the same house and complain.You want to get out, then go get a job, be your own "boss" and be and feel free.
Don't care too much what others say.There will always be someone to complain for something.
How can you not be good to your in laws by living with your husband in your own house?You can still go by and help them. just not live with them
Not so complicated.
Good luck!
@goodtogo (149)
• Pakistan
12 Jan 09
yes you are right everyone wants to live alone and enjoy thier life being bossy and independent but yous see not everybody get this chance like in subcontinent this situation is very common the joint family system.i'm lucky in this aspect that my mother and fatherinlaw don't force us to live with them but the society and what anybody else will think plus the other main problem is the situation oif jobs is getting worse by worse day by day.so it's not even afortable to live alone.
@bhanusb (5709)
• India
9 Jan 09
This is the family problem of this sub continent.We live with our mother,father.brothers and sisters.The wives of the sons are in very pitiful condition.They have to adjust with all the members of the family.But other family members don't think about the helpless daughter in law or siter in law.But in western socities when a chilld becomes adult he or she separeted from his or her parents and live his or her own way.None enterferes.My suggestion is if you want to get rid of your in laws tell your husband to live separately with you.If your husband loves you he wiil keep your request.
@goodtogo (149)
• Pakistan
12 Jan 09
my husband do loves me and he also wants to live in a separate house.but you see all this is not so easy.yes in this subcontinent this joint family system is more common and if anybody does not wants to live in this system then he is not encouraged a lot by his family memebers.and slo the financial pressures are more if anybody lives alone with the prevailent situation of the country.house rentrs ,bills,and all other expenditures are so much that it aslo becomes difficult for newly wed couple to start thier independant life.
@renukachohan (187)
• India
9 Jan 09
Just BE your self. Give room to your self and to them also. You should not talk to them about every thing and nor should you poke your nose in every thing they do.
How long have you been married?. I have been living with my inlaws for past 20 years and thank God have a wonderful understanding. Keep your expectation low. In case you are not comfortable about sometihing tell your husband initially and over the years yu can explain your self. Just seee what pleases them and what does not and find a middle path . Treat them like your parents it will be very easy then .
@goodtogo (149)
• Pakistan
12 Jan 09
thanx for all the advice.mashallah so far everything is going fine between me and my inlaws.I do respect them and like other families we never had a fight.we never spoke harsh to eachother.but the problem that i've mentioned above is that i feel shy to eat or drink something if i am feeling to.They are not the ones who stop me.It';s i don't know what thier fear or my shyness that inhibits me from being normal and comfortable with them.otherwise our realtionship is going perfectly fine and so far we didn't even have ine argument.and i got married 10 months back in march.
