How soon do you move in with someone?
By taface412
@taface412 (3175)
United States
January 9, 2009 6:48pm CST
Say you met someone and you fall "in love" or you think you are...how soon do you move in with them?
IMO, people do this way too fast. And it takes away from the whole process of getting to know one another, well getting to know one another before you know the bad quirks about the person that you will definitely find out after you move in.
What do you think?
3 people like this
11 responses
@AJ1952Chats (2332)
• Anderson, Indiana
10 Jan 09
You stole my answer!!!
Good for you!!!
I've lived with a guy before, but it was like on Three's Company. He's the guy I call my "adopted" kid brother and computer guru, and he needed a place to stay back when we were college age. It was a great set-up.
Male friends have also stayed with me when they come to visit.
However, I believe as you do that living with someone like a married person should be after you become a married person--though I also have friends who cohabit because they might lose their benefits if they actually got married. I think the laws should be changed to make it easier for people who are in love and want to get married to get married without losing needed benefits.
I've lived with a guy before, but it was like on Three's Company. He's the guy I call my "adopted" kid brother and computer guru, and he needed a place to stay back when we were college age. It was a great set-up.
Male friends have also stayed with me when they come to visit.
However, I believe as you do that living with someone like a married person should be after you become a married person--though I also have friends who cohabit because they might lose their benefits if they actually got married. I think the laws should be changed to make it easier for people who are in love and want to get married to get married without losing needed benefits.@kiwibee (240)
• New Zealand
10 Jan 09
Thumbs up to you too. It might sound incredibly old-fashioned. I do see at least one poster here who genuinely believes it is wisest to "test the waters" so to speak, but I disagree. However I am not aiming to criticize anyone. It's personal choice -- having free will is a big part of being a human, right?
@AbbeyB (670)
• Spain
10 Jan 09
Whenever yo are ready is the best answer, living with someone enables you to really get to know them and sometimes that is very wise!
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
10 Jan 09
One of my friends found a new boyfriend and they moved in together when they had been together for 2 weeks. I would never do that myself, I think that you need to spend some time together before you consider moving in together. One of my ex-boyfriends stood me up in the last moment when we were supposed to move in together. I had already been accepted at a school close to his town, so I had to move to the other end of the country anyway. Looking back on that now I think that we were making plans too fast, and that experience has taught me the importance of knowing eachother well before you move in together.
@UK_Shree (3603)
•
10 Jan 09
I think that moving in with someone is a really big step, and for me personally it is only something that I would want to do when I am serious about someone. I would want the opportunity to get to know them first and be able to do that whilst I am not living with them.
I know many people say that you do not really know someone until you live with them, and I am sure this is true but I think its important to know a certain amount before making such a massove committment. I guess Im a little old fashioned and I would only want to live with someone if I am married to them, that would make it really special
@Mocha09 (71)
• United States
10 Jan 09
I think your right...They feel bcuz they think their made for each other they can just start a life together... It's always best to know the person first then decide if you guys want to make that kind of move... I've actually been with my bf a year and I don't feel we can live together... I love him but, I feel better being able to just come over and leave when I feel like...
@n30wing (4767)
• Philippines
10 Jan 09
Well this is my first time to live in, cause I really love her very much. But it took as a year before we stayed in one roof.But it took us time to decide. I think you will know everything about the person when you stay together, and no regrets. Anyway soon enough will get married this year. Have a nice day to you!
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
10 Jan 09
I don't really thing, given today's morally lax society that there is an easy answer to this question. It really depends on the maturity levels of the individuals involved. I'm over 50 and just a few short years ago, married again after being on my own and raising my sons for over 15 years - no live-in boyfriends at all. And I'll tell you this, I am really sorry that my hubs and I didn't live together for more than a few months before we got married. I really rather doubt we WOULD be married today if we had. So as I said, it depends on the people involved, but if they are younger than 25, I'd put my foot down and say No, not a chance, you're not ready yet....
@dodo19 (47315)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
10 Jan 09
Well, actually, the relationship that I'm in is really the first serious relationship that I've been in. And we live in an apartment together. Mainly because it felt right. We were ready to live in an apartment together.
Personally, I think it all depends on the relationship. Some couples feel ready to live in an apartment, or something, early on in their relationships. Others feel ready much later on in their relationship. This is one of those issues, where I don't think that there is any right or wrong.
@amazingheart (781)
• Philippines
10 Jan 09
Some people just moving in after they feel that they love each other so much without so much time to think that a big decision requires lot of thought. Some people thought the idea that it will give them a chance to really get to know whether or not their marriage can survive, the reasons that they are in love is just enough and it will bring them closer together...
