Who gives in first?

Hey Nhey! I guess it would depend on who actually started the fight? It usually is the person who can't take it that I find that is the first to end it and in that case it usually is me! I find that the women are the ones that usually give in first! The are the ones that have to talk it out and finish the argument. I don't think me take it as seriously as women do and can let it fester alot longer without it bothering them as much. I know that I am usually the one to push my bf into talking it out until we come to some kind of agreement!

We seldom fight, but when we do, there are no words exchanged, we lapse inot silence. After a day of silence, it becomes unbearable so we sit down and talk it out and explain our point of view to each other and teh misunderstandignis cleared and then we make love and that's it. The fight is over.

Hi Nhey; In every relationship, arguments and fighting does seem to be a normal occurrence. In my own opinion, this doesn't have to be so. I mean arguments that result in fights that burst or rather, blow up. It is possible to have a constructive argument without fighting. The key is to agree to disagree. If an argument begins to become heated, at the point of shouting, clearly demonstrating a level of frustration, this is when one can stop and say "look, I am sorry", if I said something wrong, or if what I have said is making you angry. You could add that you love the person and didn't intend to fight. If the argument has already burst and each has gone their separate ways to cool off, either of the two can open a quieter dialog by approaching the other, within a reasonable amount of time, to apologize. If you feel that your partner departed the argument because of something that you said or done, fess up. Simply tell the other that you were wrong and that you are sorry. Tell them that you love them and be sincerely sorry. Ask if they would like to go for a nice dinner or lunch, a walk or even a nice hot shower, together. Making up can be fun and I don't mean by way of becoming physical, sexually with each other but sometimes that works great too. It is possible however, to have an argument result in an agreement to disagree and be satisfied with that, resulting in not fighting. If you feel that your partner was wrong and the cause of the fighting resulting in the argument that led you to both go your separate ways for a cooling off, then it should be the other that fesses up and apologizes. If after a reasonable period of time, the other person has not come to apologize, go to them and say "Hey, look. Let's not be mad at each other". Tell them that you love them. Just because one of two disagrees with the others opinion, point of view, likes or dislikes, doesn't mean it has to result in a fight. Part of keeping the marriage alive is learning how to live with the other's quirks and idiosyncrasies. This may not be an easy task however but within time, it can be mastered. Just decide not to fight. This works best if it is mutually agreed upon. Discuss how you both would rather deal with a disagreement before there becomes one. So avoid it escalating into a fight. I think it is best, if an argument has gotten to the point where two people are fighting, to apologize during the fight. Although sometimes it may back fire because the argument has gone too far into a fight to calm at that point. Therefore wait for a while. It is just way easier to agree to disagree. That way arguments do not escalate into fighting. Fighting doesn't have to become a normality in any relationship. Although we are human so it often does. If you would rather that arguments didn't grow into fights, simply decide not to fight and the argument(s) will never get to that point. Two people usually get into a huge argument because the other isn't living up to our expectations. We are all individuals. Even when we think we know someone inside out, there is always something more to learn. Everyone is different. We can never live up to the expectations of others. Especially if they are preconceived notions. So simply do not expect anything, just be.

I have been married for 31 years now and we vary seldom fight we really never had fought in all those years. I keep a lot to myself. When I do blow up he says I am to emotional so that ends things. A lot of the time I just bite my tongue and thing why does it always have to be my way? Usually when I am made it is something stupid and not worth fighting over.

I have never had a fight with my partner and I hope that I never do as we talk about things before they get that far. However, in past relationships I never back down. I insisted that the person saw it from my point of view and I would never accept that I was wrong unless he also accepted that he was wrong. Any man who wanted to make me see things his way and refused to see my point of view became history. My current partner and I do not see everything the same but we accept each others view point and we accept each others right to be different. If your boyfriend cannot accept your right to disagree then there is a problem. Someone once said that there are always three sides to an argument. Your side, my side and the truth. Your boy needs to learn to accept your viewpoint as yours even if he does not agree. You do not have to cave in and accept his just because he is a male. That does not make him right and there is nothing wrong with being emotional. That is just being human.

In a relationship, sometimes the woman will have to give in first and sometimes, the man has to give in first. Usually, I think the man has to give in be, especially if it is a marriage. After marriage, women play the dominant role and they seek pleasure and picking up unnecessary fights with the man and thus hurt him to the core. Thus there is so much misunderstandings in married life.

well in my relationship its me who is the dominant one and he the submissive though not necessary its this way all the time...there are some occassions where i would have to be less dominant....especially when people are around...... but normally when we fight or argue (i am and he is too, very short tempered) its mostly he who cools down or rather shuts up and gives in..... if i have to let the argument go then i just walk away from there.... just the other day we both were at a mall and saw base ball bats there .... so both of us took a bat each and were showing off when an argument butted itself in between...... how and at what level is the baseball bat held..... i have seen many matches on tv and seen way too many hollywood movies (he doesnt watch hollywood movies).... so itold him that my way was the right way but he wouldnt give in.... so i just turned around and walked off..... what did he do? obviously walk behind me..... :P

I think, I would be the one who would fight the most and would give in first. lol.. I get upset over little little things but it takes minutes to calm down and you should learn from me how to make it up..

Hi Nhey, it’s quite normal and couldn’t avoid too having arguments with our loved one occasionally. This could be what we so-called life. lol. I have got along with my husband for more than three decades of years, and argument has happened many times out of our expectation when we have different view on thing. I dislike having such undesirable experience and this unhappy and undesirable argument always make us feeling depressed and uneasy. However it’s still lucky that we have never fight with each other for that. I know very well that once we have started the first fight, definitely there will follow by endless fight whenever arguing again. I don‘t think fight could settle any problem. I’m the one who always keeps quiet first if we still keep on arguing in an attempt to come to terms. Very often my husband would continue telling his big story and never notices that I don’t have any interest to argument anymore lol. Of course I will admit my fault and ask for apology first if I really have done something wrong. If he is in the wrong side I won’t talk to him until he wills to admit his mistake. Anyway his is the type of person who likes to settle thing instantly so he usually won’t let me to keep silence for long and will ask for apology the same day. Happy posting and good luck!

It really depends on the person. I have no problem apologizing, but I find a lot of people don't like to. If I find someone never apologizes, than I eventually stop doing it. It needs to be mutual. There is no shame in apologizing if you are truly wrong or even just hurt someone. You can be right, but not nice in how you did it. Apologizing and forgiveness is important in aa relationship. I don't think I could date someone who refuses to apologize or is a jerk about it when I make the effort to apologize!

well fighting is normal when ever two persons live together or care for each other and it is not always who was wrong or right. Just i dont make it ego hassles about not talking first.. we two fight thats it.. few minutes later i get normal and try to make her normal sometimes it takes more but someone does talk and it cant goon like this for long or can hurt ur relationship

Cool down first and talk over with your partner over the issue again, make it a habit/agreement between you and your partner to not let the fight drag for more than a day and that both of you would sit down without blowing off and talk things out calmly. Seek always not to let matter turn into a fight. It doesnt matter who give in first so long as both has the intention of resolving the conflict.

this is not fix it is depend on situation,this is not a question of first doing thing this is question of your love,if he did not tell yiou so you should say,but the time if he was wrong so realize him about his mistake

that depends,but most of the time,my hubby apologizes to me first.i think this is what a gentleman should do. if the main mistake lies in me,i will say sorry to him or use some techniques.for example,one night,my husband was so angry with me that he went out.i worried about him and wanted to call him back.but i didn't want to show that i was the wrong one.so i sent him a message: hubby,i am hungry,bring me some food,ok? ten minutes later,he came back,with a humbergur.and i hugged him,we made it up.

In just about every realationships there will be some differences in opinions and that is only natural. If there is alwas agreement, then there is something wrong in the relationship in most instances. My partner and I do not have arguements but we do have differences in opinions from time to time. When that happens, we discuss the issue and try to find some common ground. If we cannot find common ground, unless it is important that we reach a decision, then we will agree to disagree. If one of us does not want to discuss the issue immediately, then we will take some time out. That generally means that one or both of us will find something to do outside of the home, i.e. out in the garden for example. Later on we will talk about the issue and see if we can reach a compromise that we are both happy with. During the time we are in different areas and doing different things, we both think through the issue and being apart often helps to see the other person's point of view. Sometimes one of us will apologise to the other and sometimes we both apologise because we have both made a mistake. In any relationship it is about compromise and sometimes that is the best way to resolve an issuie or solve a problem even, because there is no way that an agreement will be reached. Also there are times when neither is "wrong" or "right" but simply that each has a different point of view. For the health of a relationship it is often good if each person is willing to compromise and once that happens, that sohould be the end of the matter. A relationship where one person always has to "win" or be "right" is not a healthy one. If one person is always resentful after a dispute or arguement with their partner, then it too is not healthy. Also where issues are not resolved in some form of other can lead to further resentment, which eventually erodes the entire relationship. Believe me, I was in that sort of relationship with my first marriage and so know the difference between a healthy relationship and an unhealthy one, which is what I am in now. The key words are "communication" and "compromose".

All arguments are healthy so long as you can kiss and make up. Actually with my husband and me, he never says sorry, but will start talking as if nothing has happened and I too let it go at that and we forgive and forget. Thats the basis of a healty marriage. Dont keep grudges in your heart. Good luck.

Wel Honey, It all depends on the fight. If he is wrong and you know without a doubt and it is a really important issue then he's going to have to come around. But if it is an in significant issue, then let him calm down and see what happens. Most of the time the fight is not really about the little issue that is being fought about but usually just normal daily frustrations. If that's the case, let it go. Apologize just to clear the air. First walk away and let things calm down and then go and see if he is ready to talk. One thing to remember is that fights are meant to release frustration and clear the air. So don't let it hurt the relationship. Hugssss leenie

Hi Nhey16, My hubby and I always have an arguments, he never apologizes but just walks away even though he is always wrong and I'm right, I know I'm right, but he is just too stubborn. Hugs. Tamara

I usually apologize first. My honey gives me the silent treatment when we fight and he'll just ignore me for hours. So finally I just say "I'm sorry" just so he will talk again. Of course I'm sorry to.

It is hard to say. Maybe it is not always the same person. While you should keep in mind that it doesn't matter who gives in first, that you really care for each other matters most. If you always want your guy to give in first, you will eventually lost him. Good luck.