One girl, four boys....

You too, eh? I have one daughter and four boys and it's a living nightmare sometimes. But, luckily with me, I had my daughter first and the boys just kinda followed. So, honestly, I don't think I'm going to be much help with your situation because my daughter is my oldest. That meaning, the reaction she gets is because she forces them out of the poor younger males. My daughter is what you would call...bossy...naggy...I've called her the "B" word at times. Already my male friends are telling me that if they lived nearby, they'd come over and help defend my son. So with that, I never have to worry about my daughter not being able to stick up for herself. *Pleiades

Although I'm not a mom, I think your daughter just wants to be cool with her brothers. Since I have older siblings, I know when I was younger I always wanted to do what they were doing because it seemed cool or bother them because it was the only way we could talk. I feel that your daughter is just trying to find a way to connect with her brothers and to them it's annoying and to her their lack of understanding towards her feelings is hurtful. You say she is the only daughter so I think she just wants to have someone in the home closer to her age to talk to. You should try getting your daughter to make friends outside the house and allow her to bring them over and have sleepovers. You're her mom and to a nine year old girl she just wants you to leave her alone and buy her stuff. Don't do that of course but you have to ease your way into her life, not just jump in because she feels what she feels. By easing in, she may turn to you more about other problems when she gets older, which is what you would want her to do. Remember to be her mom and when she gets "divaish" straighten her out, tell her it doesn't work that way in your household. You should also try to get your sons to try to bond with her once in a while or try to have family events where everyone is involved. When my mom first started making me take my brother out I didn't really like it, but sometimes I didn't mind because we had fun. He's four years younger than me so he was annoying at times. Just make sure you don't ask them too often because they will be mean to her when they're out, I know from experience. I'm sure your older boys lock themselves in their room and try to avoid communication with anyone but each other most of the time, especially if they're teenagers. You should also consider the fact that puberty could be setting in, some girls bloom faster than others so keep that in mind.