Staying together for the child's sake?

Well, my friend, I think it is also good for the parents to stay together for the sake of their child. I think getting back to you has another reason aside from your child's sake. He probably realized that he is incomplete without you and he needs you. Well, he has a choice of just supporting your child other than reconciling with you, right? Don't you have feelings for him anymore? You probably can bring back those times when you were still inlove. You just have to work some things out. Goodluck!

A Happy family does not mean you stay together. If there is no love, you can not agree and so forth, it is no use for trying. And the child will notice that something is wrong soner or later and wonder what is wrong. Mostly the children take the blame in marrages that is disfuntion. It is not god for the child. I do not think you are selfish, I would say he is. If he can not see that you to may not belong together. Yes, we should be forgiving, but being forgiving, does not mean you have to give you your self and accept things that has been done to you. I agree with you. God Luck

I don't understand why you have second thought in giving him a second chance. By the look of it he seems to be a responsible father to your baby. If you refuse him, your child will blame you for the rest of your life depriving her of a father's love. Every child needs a complete parent to be with her as she grows up to be a happy child. Maple, I think you are just being selfish and what ever happened before let bygone be bygone and think far ahead for the sake of your baby. Remember human make mistakes and it is only fair that you forgive him for whatever sorrow he has inflicted on you. Just remember the sweet moments you once had with him and discard the hatred you have for him now. That should patch up things and surely you can let go all the past happenings and pretend nothing happen like the breeze passing by.

I do not know your situation but I am glad you have become a mother. I think a baby is always a blessing. I never want to have a child I could not see or hold but that's just me. There could be a billion reasons for a father not to be with his child. I hope things work out nicely for you. Cheers!!!

take the support & tell him to go to hell. if he couldn't stick by u during your pregnancy & the hard times he would waltz back in now. don't u even condider it. he's already shown his true colors & they weren't pretty colors.

Yes, give it a try. Your baby deserves the best, including having both parents around to care and love him/her. I don't know what have happened previously to you and him, but the fact that he is willing to try deserves perhaps a similar gesture from your side. Give him a chance. Perhaps the baby will heal your relationship. I have two close friends who drifted away from their family relationship because they had no baby. What a pity. In this case, you are being united by the baby. Love and relationship as well as God sometimes work in mysterious ways. Give it a try.

Only you can decide what's right for you and your child. But let me tell you this never ever stay with a person for the sake of a child. In the end it'll make the child miserable. Kids know when both parents are unhappy even if you never show it to them .. Do you want your child to grow up thinking that they have to stay with someone they don't love or trust or like for the sake of a child. No.. He can be a wonderful dad without being with you.. Rule of thumb if you don't think your going to be happy getting back together then don't. If you can't trust him than don't even try to work it out. A relationship has to have trust or you aren't going to feel happy and secure and loved. I have 5 kids they are 10, 8, 7,6, and 5. My oldest two haven't seen their father in almost 9yrs. My 8 yr old turns 9 on the 24th of jan and my exhusband left when he was 3 months old. They are happy and healthy and well adjusted and loved as if they were my now boyfriend flesh and blood. He has been with them for 8 yrs of their lives. So you don't have to have the father in their lives to be happy.

The only real sound piece of advice that I can give you is to follow your heart in sincere means - this is the pathway to freedom.

I don't think that it's really a good idea for the both of you to get back together. Yes, he is your child's father, which gives him the right to see your child. it is understandable that your child's welfare should be your top priority, which is perhaps why I think it might be a better idea for you and your child's father not to get back together. After all, he's the one who abandoned you. He's the one, who chose to have little connections with you as possible.

Whether you two decide to get together or not, the child will need his father in his life. A child needs his Daddy. A male influence is important and nothing can really replace the love of a father. About the relationship issue with your baby's daddy, there must have been a reason you got together in the first place. Unless there is something terribly wrong with this man (abuse or unfaithfulness), you should at least give it a try. But only try this if you are really willing to give it your best. Just my thoughts.

Well, I guess it depends on what he did wrong. If you love each other, you'd be surprised at what can be worked past. And getting along and him being super involved with his baby is very important. If he is a good dad or really wants to be when he returns, it is only fair to the baby to give him a shot at it. Now you don't have to be a couple to get along and for him to be involved, but it may be worth a shot. Like I said, if there is enough love and mutual respect, most things can be worked out. You may try some therapy before he returns and go to couples counseling when he does get back. I would definitly give him a chance to get to know his baby and be a good dad though. I wish you the best.

I don't really believe that staying together "for the kids" is really a great idea. I think there are times in a child's life when the parents should try as hard as humanly possible to be peaceful; when the kid(s) are between 10 and 14-ish, when they are pubescent, hormonal and dealing with enough of their own stressors, they don't need mom and dad screeching at each other on top of all of it. But up until they are 10 years old and after they are 14 or 15, they can deal with the separation a little easier. Younger kids are more resilient and can adapt more easily to the separation and older kids will demonstrate some resentment, especially if they are old enough to have to choose which parent to live with, but they will come to understand that separation/divorce will stop the crying and screaming and hurt feelings (at least in my house there was a lot of crying and screaming). They don't want it to happen but they can, logically, accept why it's happening. Don't think I am saying parents of 12-year-olds should absolutely not get divorced. I just think they should do whatever is possible to not hate each other in front of the kid on the chemical roller coaster. If that means separate, then separate. If that means sleep in separate rooms, sleep in separate rooms.

Not only for the baby sake, but for your sake! You can seek for a happy family by sorting things out with your husband. There is no mention of divore here so i guess it is just him going ahead with what he thinks is right without your total agreement. Perhap relook into this issue that both of you should renew your wedding vow and that both should be committed to each other. Work on it and see if there is chance to revive the relationship. He shouldnt be thinking for himself and he must agree to place family as pririoty this time.

You should give him a chance because I think your baby's dad has transformed, you should give him a chance to prove that hes really worth it otherwise if he did the same mistakes again then you can just dump him easily. Do not deprive your baby of his daddy's love because your baby will grow and as he grow he will really ask for his dad. Nobody is perfect everybody commits mistake, but this time he is really trying his best to win his family back so do not deprive him of that you know to yourself that you really need him, who is in this world now that dont want a happy family?I think none everybody aims for that..Give him a chance and talk to him that whenever he commits again the same mistake he can never win you back..

Personally staying together just for the sake of the kids in most situations is truly the worst thing any parent can do. It will often end up effecting and harming the kids in the long run as well. I remember my Mom staying with my Step Dad just for the sake of us kids even as she was being abused, and I often wondered why she never left. So in reality if I were you, I would go with your gut feeling. Maybe say a couple of prayers about it as well. It might be something hard for him to accept, but you have to do what is best for you and your child as well. Wishing you the Best.

I just read all your comments, so bottom line is if you do not love him its useless to even try. Infact, you will make your kid suffer even more in a loveless marriage then in an independent home where you live with dignity and respect. You can ask your hubby to come and visit his son when he feels like anfd get a court order too baout it. Settle the issue once and for all. Its always better to have no father at all then an emotionally abusive one. If you suffer your kid will suffer too.

Do you still love him? Is he really sincere of his intentions and are these for both you and the child or only for the sake of the child? Can you find in him the traits you are looking not only for a husband but also as a good father? Is he responsible and mature enough this time to raise a family? Do you have common goals in life? These and more of the considersations you have to weigh before considering any major decissions. If it's only for the sake of the child that you will live together then forget it; that won't lasts long. However, I may suggest that you should not deprive to be acknowledged as the father as he has the right to be and for him the support he is offering, it's his responsibility.

I tried staying together with my ex-wife for five years for the kids sake and it did not work. In fact after I decided to ask for a divorce my children all told me that things were better now. I do have custody of my 3 children as info. I am not saying that you should not try and work things out but that does not mean that you have to love together while you are getting some good counceling. If after you have gone through counceling you feel like you can accapt this person back in your life then so be it. If not please do not stay just for the sake of the children. Kids are smarter than we give them credit for being and will know if there is tension between their parents and that will stress the child as much or more than the two of you splitting up.

Yes money is important in life.. but that doesnt mean you live seperately.... a father has to be there for the baby... when he needs you... otherwise you're have no part in his life... a father in namesake is no father at all.... hopefully u make the right decision..

It is very difficult to come into terms with someone who has abandoned you and your kid. The romance has gone to drain. There are two things you could do, try to get re-acquainted with him by dating him once again. See if the sparks will fly once again and if you two could get along before you truly decide to dumped him or be with him.