what should i do, keep it or not??? need your advice.....
By 4my1nonly
@4my1nonly (352)
Philippines
January 20, 2009 7:41am CST
i have a friend, find out that she's very sick, she did not tell anybody about what she's suffering right now even his parents, she decided to keep it and i was the only one who knew about it, i don't know what to do, i wanted to help her and i also want to tell her parents about this, but she doesn't want to tell it and she ask me to keep it...i need your advice, don't want my friend to suffer it alone without anyone knowing her situation, as my part i know that if something bad happen to her and no one knows about it, i know they will get angry with me if they find out that i already know that my friend is sick from the start...what should i do????if your in my situation and someone ask you to keep it, do you or not??,she trust me... help please T__T
2 responses
@vanilla_28 (176)
• Malta
20 Jan 09
Hi 4my1nonly, it seems that your friend really trusts you, since you're the only person whom she disclosed her health condition with. If she had told you to keep it a secret, i think that by keeping it a secret you can show her that you are reliable and loyal to her. Your friend might be very shocked and confused about this illness and that's why she may hold back before breaking the news to her relatives and friends. It is not easy at all.
At this point in time, she needs a lot of support, care and reassurance. If you really want to help her, you can share her sufferring with her, by making yourselve available, and listening to her. Then you can tell her all about your concerns, the risk she may incur if she keeps her sickness a secret and other consequences that may arise. You can also suggest to her to try and tell her closest family members or friends, but you cannot force her.
I think that the least you can do is to stay close to her, and give her all the support she needs.
@4my1nonly (352)
• Philippines
20 Jan 09
thanks vanilla_28, i know i can't force her but i'll try, i'm always here for her...but there are something here in my heart and in my mind said that i need to shout out...maybe for now i'll go to your advice... i hope i can help her ease the pains...as you've said and i know she needs a lot of support,,,but its more better if that support comes from her family,,right??? thanks again vanilla_28....
@vanilla_28 (176)
• Malta
20 Jan 09
Neither you nor your friend know what her family's reaction might be, and this could be the reason why she's afraid to tell her family because they won't take it so lightly. If she keeps insisting to keep it a secret, you can even suggest her to look for professional help, like a counselor or psychologist.
@KatieDidit (989)
• United States
20 Jan 09
Keep her secret. It's her life, her choice how she wants to live it. When people know you're seriously ill, they treat you differently. She's chosen to allow you to know and you can support her, be her support. When her parents do find out (and they will if she is seriously ill - it's impossible to hide forever) they might be angry with you at first. Just remind them that you have been there for her and that you love her enough to respect her choice.
@4my1nonly (352)
• Philippines
21 Jan 09
hi KatieDidit, thanks for the advice...i really appreciate..for now i'll support her for what she wants...