Do You Tell Your Sons Never To Cry In Public

Hi Wolfie, I have always grown up with the opinion that it takes a real man to cry and they should be allowed to freely show their emotions the same as women can, repressed emotion will explode at some time if allowed to bottle up inside too long. I will hug my son if he cries and wait until he has stopped before asking him where he has hurt himself or what has upset him. Today he was upset cos a girl chased him bless and I told him he would probably be wanting them to in a few years time. LOL. He has lots of mates and plays rufty tufty but if hurt will cry and cuddle a teacher, they all love him for it and the other children don't tease they just accept that is how he is. He is not a cry baby but not frightened to cry if he needs too. I think as a mum I have allowed him to just BE, I was the same with my girls also and they have grown to be very open, honest and communitive people who will share how they are feeling with others rather than bottling which is great. In fact my eldest is doing research at Cambridge University at present for a pyschology degree as she is so caring towards others and their feelings. Huggles. Ellie :D

My son, like the son of the user above, is 30. He saw me crying when he was a child in primary school. I was crying after watching a film (that happens a lot) and he was worried because at the time her thought tears were only for sad occasions. I explained to him that his mother, and mant other people, also cry when they are happy. He then saw me crying in the audience at a concert. He was on stage and I was at it again. When his first romantic story ended suddenly he was heartbroken and ran to me crying knowing full well I would just let him pouir out all his tears as I had explained that tears are like taps and when it happens you must let it all pour out and that both males and females have the same emotions and suffer the same losses and joys therefore there is no difference. I am a strong believer in the fact that many adults act the way they do because of emotions that were suppressed or tales they were told during their childhood. Sadly even though there are so many schools none have the same idea on parenting until it's too late. If 'toughening up' means bottling up emotions then that could well be the cause for so much ov the violent streaks in youth today?

One of the things that attracted me to Mr Croc was that he was not ashamed to cry. He even cries at soppy films. My dad was brought up not to cry and I think he controlled his emotions to the extent that people who did not know him well thaught he was emotionless, he was far from that but had not been taught how to show them. I must admit I rarely cry, not because of my parents but because I remember my older brother saying 'the brat's crying again', so I never wanted to cry in front of anyone. I know t isn't good for me as I become angry with the people I love instead of letting sadness out by crying. This rule has certainly been abolished in my family, my grandsons cry if they need to.

Sweets I raised 5 boys and 2 girls. They were never told not to cry But I did on many occasions tell them to cry it out It is cleansing to cry..I hate to cry in front of anyone because I was told to not be a baby as a child. I didn't want to pass it on to my children xoxooxxoxoo

I remember very well, wolfie, that little boys were discouraged from showing any sign of weakness. Times have changed a lot since then, I think. I have witnessed over the last couple of decades men being encouraged to show their gentler side, so I suppose this is also true with boys. We all have feelings no matter which gender we are, and it seems silly to suggest that anyone has to hold their feelings in. I suspect that a large number of men cry in private because it would shame them to do so in public. I think some women even feel that way.

I only have girls but id never tell any child not to cry either in public or at home, if they want to cry let them its healthy release of emotions i think every child should be allowed to deal with their emotions in the way they feel best and if thats a good cry then let them i say heck i still have a damn good cry when i need to be it in public or not and im 24 lol!

I have a sensitive child. I think he is a softie when compared to other boys. I think he has to toughen up otherwise he is going to find it tough later on in secondary school. however I never tell him to stop crying in public because crying is a sense of relief and one can relief his tensions. In case he is bullied I have instructed my child not to do whatever the bullies tell him and ask help from the school administration.

I only have one son. I never told him not to cry anytime. He's 30 years old now and raising 4 kids. He has two sons and two daughters so I think he will raise his sons this way too. That its not a sign of weakness to show emotion. I think its unfair to try and force that onto a childs mind and its made it very hard for men and caused a great deal of trouble.

Sadly... they do say that we are our parents... as we think and do what they taugh us as young children. So much for individuality. And if we rebel against them and their stupid ideas... we are bad children. lol About the crying stuff... it pretty much depends what you are crying about. Crying for somebody else mis-fortune is acceptable. Crying for your own mis-fortune... not so much. In both case... having one cry is acceptable. Crying everyday for one month... is not. Whatever happen to us... we need to pick up the pieces and get on with life. If you see a man crying... don't mock him... because he can cry and punch you in the nose at the same time. Just like a woman can cry and be a total beeetch at the same time. lol Most people have a split personality. They can be angels one minute... and be down right dangerous the next minute if you make them angry. So it would be a big mistake to think a man is not tough because he is crying. I would actually think that a man who never cries... has to be a cold fish... and would not be a good friend to anyone... including his family.

Hmm...interesting!! Well, adults never tell the truth!! Just look at the Bible...the biggest bunch of lies in the world, drummed into our skulls as the ultimate truth. I recently became a Mom. I have a three-week-old son. I do tell him "Oh hush..sweetie.. don't cry.." especially when he cries at night. And he is a fine little fellow who means business. He doesn't stop till I change those diapers or give him a feed. LOL!! Now, would I tell him later in life that "little men don't cry"? I don't think so...I would try to make his life as peaceful and happy as possible so that he doesn't feel like crying.. the way I am doing now. But still if something in life makes him cry, he is free to cry on my shoulders, and I will never discourage him. I would advise him not to cry in public though, because I feel we don't have to expose our emotions to strangers. But at home, he is more than welcome to cry. ;) Cheers and happy Mylotting

My son is grown now but I never ever told him not to cry and I never ever told him not to tell others that he loves them. I like when people can show emotions whether or not they are male or female.

We didn't ever tell any of our children not to cry, so I suppose they all had a good howl when they were kids and got hurt. The only time I remember my son crying (as a more adult person - and in the privacy of his room) was when he was about 18 and one of his friends took his own life. As a whole, we're not a family to show our emotions and make a big fuss - but a good cry in private certainly makes you feel better sometimes - man OR woman!

I think that it is not bad for boys to cry even in public. It just proves they have emotions too, just like girls do. It doesn't also mean that they are weak, if they do cry. Crying is an emotional feeling all of us have. So, why suppress the feeling? I have great respect for grown up men who are not worried of being seen in public crying.

I think it's really important to show your emotions whether you're male or female. A failure to be able to show emotions will lessen your ability to form successful relationships in the future, so you should never hide any of your emotions! There is nothing 'unmanly' about crying, don't worry about doing it!

I am the opposite. I have always taught my sons that even the strongest of men have to cry sometimes. In fact it takes more of a man to show his emotions than it does to bottle them all up and shut everyone out. No one is strong 100% of the time and everyone needs an outlet for the everyday stress that can build up. Crying is healthy for the body and releases some of that stress. My sons are allowed and even encouraged to cry, whether it be in public or all alone behind closed doors. I cry all the time. I cry happy tears when my children make me proud. I cry angry tears when I have had all I think I can stand. And I cry lonely tears when I feel I just need a friend. And I don't really care who sees me do it. I have even seen my husband cry in public on more than one occasion and he serves as police office part time for our community. Crying doesn't make them less of a man. In fact in my eyes it makes them more of one.

I think all families were affected by this unwritten law. Any sign of any emotion that was even close to sadness in any man was a sign of weakness and intolerable. I remember when my brother would cry and as he grew up he was ridiculed and humiliated by our father for being a snivelling mama's boy. If he was hurt and yelling and crying, Mum was not allowed to comfort him. I've never seen my father express any deep emotion on the sadness side of things. The result is that I have grown up thinking men are weak if they cry. Most of the men I have known I have never seen cry and most of them have been unable to express their deepest emotions verbally even. It wouldn't bother me if a man was to cry when and if he was really sad about something but I don't think I could handle a man who cried at the slightest little thing. I have no idea how this sort of treatment at a young age effects boys...everyone is different. I don't think children should be bullied or humiliated for any reason.

We have never told our kids, sons neither, to never cry in public or anywhere, crying is an emotion and lets out so much, when you are sad, mad, just a lot of different emotions. I don't think it is healthy not to cry as it is a release. I would hope that there isn't many parents that think this way still. I know that in the older days they thought it meant someone was weak, I just don't think so.

Hi ya wolfie34 If my boys cry I instantly wonder what is up and hug them until they are ready to tell me what happened to upset them so much. It's their way of releasing their emotions so I don't discourage them from crying at all. I think men are chritised such a lot for not showing their emotions because they have been taught from a young age not to. It is a natural thing to do when you are upset so why not cry when you are sad or overjoyed? It shouldn't be just a thing that women and girls are allowed to do! Need a hanky wolfie?

Crying is sign of weakness and vulnerability - it's the stuff pedophiles look for when they are searching for their next victim. I would teach my son not to cry in public. I would also allow him to carry a switch blade knife and teach him how to kill a man with one strike of its blade. I think it's safe to say we are living in dangerous times and we need to protect our kids. Teaching them it is okay to cry, when it is clearly not, is reckless.

i will support for u my friend i too dont encourage boys crying in the public areas esspecially in the school the reason for my supporting is that if we allow boys(children) to cry in the public places and not onl;y in the public places at any place it makes them sensitive and their is a chance to change their behavior as girls normally gals will be doing these type of things to get any things which they are liked. ok