I had a fight with my girlfriend last night,sigh...
By ktosea
@ktosea (2026)
China
January 21, 2009 11:02pm CST
it's awful,now she is still mad at me and I am depressed too.
Last night when we were shopping,she keeped on buying some luxuries which I can not afford,the money in my pocket have already been had plans and I don't think it's a good idea to spend on the things not neccessary,we could leave without the stuffs right now,I have given her a hint about my finance situation and she knows where I am now,but she just didn't take my word into heart and keeps trying to buy anything she want.I got angry and she was mad at me too.when we got home I said nothing to her but just sitting on the chair to see MTVs on the computer,she didn't give me a glance either but just sit at the guest room,I am very angry and I think she is in the same mood as I am.we didn't say even a word in 3 hours.I am still mad and I drink some wine,just a little,I thought if we can not talk it through while we are all have no mood at that time,why not just sit and wait for us all calm down and then have a talk,but she starts to throw things away,all around.anything she could.
I didn't do anything for that and then she throw her clothes on me,I through it away and then she starts to hit me on my chest.I let it go but she just don't stop.Oh,my God,the worst thing is I hitted her back on her face.I am totally out of control at that moment.we quarrelled and then she want to leave the house at the midnight,I stopped her.
she didn't say a word since then and I,I don't know what to do now.I feel that I have lost my mind now.these days I am always been depressed for the work thing and my family thing.oh God,how would I solve this problem?
4 people like this
25 responses
@rsa101 (38166)
• Philippines
22 Jan 09
Wow that seemed pretty intense with your situation. I guess both of you need to cool down a bit before you go ballistic again with each other. Maybe you needed both some space and peace for yourselves at the moment. You almost had the reason for being made at her but them you over blew it when you had hit her physically. I would never try to hurt a girl unless she provoke me physically. The trowing of clothes is just not justifiable for you to hit him physically because you are really physically strong as a man.
Hope that everything will be patched soon after this incident.
1 person likes this
@MythiliK (138)
• Switzerland
22 Jan 09
Dear Friend,
Its OK. It happens in life sometime. No use thinking and feeling about past. I don't want to say "You should not have did that". Because, we cannot change what happened already. So, let us think about future.
If you seriously love her, just keep all your egos apart. Go to her and talk directly. Gals are more emotional. She will understand you. Tell her "I love you a lot and want to buy whatever you wish. But dear, wait for sometime. Let me come to a level to afford whatever you wish. Honey, I'm there for you, whatever the worst things happen...." (I cannot speak everything for you now my friend, fill the rest by yourself).
For sure, she will understand. Ego is the one main thing, which stops us from solving most of the problems in life. Remove it. You will shine. All the best.
1 person likes this
@ketybhagat (4123)
• India
22 Jan 09
She seems like a spoilt sport. When a woman does not understand the circumstances in which her man is in, then she has no one to blame but herself and I dont think very highly of her. When my husband cant afford things, we look at them, long for them and walk on. I understand his problems and mine and when there is no understanding between you two, I have no hope for tomorrow for you guys. She is in the wrong, but then you must never, I repeat, never hit a woman. It does not go down well with well brought up boys. Maybe you should make your financial condition very clear to her. If she understands, well and good. If not, move on in life.
1 person likes this
@ketybhagat (4123)
• India
22 Jan 09
Thats the spirit. Good lad, keep it up. When we do something we shouldnt, we should apologize and see it doesn't happen again.
@ktosea (2026)
• China
22 Jan 09
I haven't hit anyone for about 12 years when I was 12 and I never thought that I would hit a girl but it just happened.I feel guilty about that.I think she is good,but she just not that mature and can not understand me well.I have told her about my situation but she said" if I am your ex-girl friend,you will do whatever she want" how silly was that?
Anyway,I would apologize for my bad behavior
@izathewzia (5134)
• Philippines
23 Jan 09
It is not your fault and you don't need to be depress. She should know by now how to spend money wisely. Considering the crisis the whole world is experiencing. It is oaky to buy luxuries, if we have money for that. Hope you feel better soon. And you patch up with your girlfriend.
1 person likes this
@zhuhuifen46 (3483)
• China
22 Jan 09
It so happened on a tv program I saw yesterday, a boy is just confronting a similar problem. But he is in a much worse situation, as he has overdrafted RMB 40,000 after a trip to Hong Kang with his girl friend. He bought her a brand bag, and a ring to show his love for her. And earlier, he bought roses, had birthday party, and rent cars for her to give a flare of himself. Now he lost his job, no more regular monthly pay of RMB 3,000. The banks are chasing him and his mother, warning them of the possible consequences of bad record. He is now asking his potential mother-in-law to help.
I hope you find time to tell the above story to your girl friend. You are sane to refuse spending more than you can afford. If your girl friend really loves you, she will listen. If she is after your money, better you double think if you can afford her pursuit of luxury when you are married. The current time of economy crisis gives a perfect chance to review the tradition value of frugality. We need to wisely use the credit card. Abuse of credit cards will lead only to disaster.
Learn to control your emotion and take initiative to ask for forgiveness of your bad manners. Explain to her how you will guarantee to give her a happy life, not only by words, but by deeds.
1 person likes this
@redberry (178)
• Philippines
22 Jan 09
Oh my! that really seems to be a Big fight. confrontation is always a good solution. But under these circumstances, you two should both calm yourselves down, before talking so that you wouldn't end up shouting with each other. It really was a bad thing to have hit your girlfriend and you must apologize for that. there are just times that Girls tend to be selfish and needy and you should understand that. Once you two get a chance to talk, tell her truthfully about your financial situation. If she doesn't get that maybe she really is conceited and selfish...and if she wants to buy things/stuff with her own money let her be. Balance will also play a great role with regards to family, work, and romance. Don't think about all your problems at once, take it one step at a time so as to lessen your stress. "Less stress better thinking"... I hope all will be well with you and your girlfriend.
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
22 Jan 09
i'm so sorry to hear about what happen to you and your gf... but i still think that you shouldn't hit her especially on the face regardless what happen because you are a MAN... now what you can do is just wait for her to cool down and say sorry to her... after that, try to explain about your financial situation to her and hopefully she can understand... good luck... take care and have a nice day...
1 person likes this
@kilani123 (864)
• United Arab Emirates
23 Jan 09
Oh , I hope u two fix things up
peace
1 person likes this
@zhuuraan (961)
• United States
23 Jan 09
Well first off, under no circumstances should either of you hit one another.
Also, if she is unwilling to be rational, she obviously have some problems. However, you should put your foot down if it is your money she is spending and not her own. She needs to learn how to manage it properly
1 person likes this
@silverjam (969)
• United States
22 Jan 09
If she did what you said to start a fight then it seems she was displaying an imature and childish attitude. Well it's good you didn't act the same way either by doing what she did, although you hit her too. I would try to understand you were out of control that time and you might had been blinded w/ anger. I hope you would be able to talk as matured adults and try to access things. You may explain to her in a diplomatic way how you feel about her over spending and try to let her understand the scarcity of your resources by this time and that you are trying to make basic things as priorities in your expenditure. Ask her what is her opinion on this and motivate her as how can she help in your budgeting scheme. Am afraid you must have been spoiling her before hence she's acting that way by now; she might had been used to get what she want but even though you can still explain to her that things changes by now and both of you should cooperate for you to get by.
1 person likes this
@momiecat (997)
• United States
22 Jan 09
You sound like you both are pretty young but you yourself sound more level-headed in wanting to not spend money on unnecessary things. Your girlfriend should not have started hitting you but more importantly, you should have walked away and not hit her. A man is most always stronger than a woman and can do more damage. Your relationship does not seem healthy if you both don't agree on the money issues. That is one of the biggest reasons for failed relationships. If your girlfriend wants to buy things, she should not expect you to pay for them. She should make her own money and spend her own money. If you were to marry, she would have you in financial ruin in no time. She should not expect gifts and material things to be a sign of love. It is the sharing and quality of time you have together. If things don't start getting better, you are young, may be you should look for a more level-headed girl to spend your life with. Good luck.
1 person likes this
@kguru1979 (381)
• India
22 Jan 09
Try to make your girlfriend understand your economical situation rather than ending up in quarrels due to 'out of control' of your emotions ... always upto my knowledge, girls will be more emotional than boys.. so dont make girls more emotional (something like you giong out of control and hitting her... rather keep cool for everything... they will understand one fine day..)
Make her to understand .. then you both will understand yourselves .. !!
1 person likes this
@Tinna_He (300)
• China
23 Jan 09
my husband and i also quarrelled.But my husband haven't hitted me.In china ,it is said the man is no quality to hit woman back.No matter how you are angry,you should control your mood and can't hit your girlfriend.I also like to buy something which i felt it is interesting and i also know it is not neccessary.i just want to own it.If my husband told me,we have no money to buy it,i will be angry and didn't say anything to him for a long time.Later i will recognize that my husband is right.we will buy the house for ourself ,so we must save money.we have the same aim to save money.Did you have?If you also prepare to do something which need much more money,you can explain to her.I think your girlfriend will understand.If she lost her temper,please don't care about her.
@checapricorn (16061)
• United States
22 Jan 09
[i]Hi ktosea,
That is very tough..I guess you need to talk to her and let her understand the situation and if you need to explain to her the budget for every pay day, then do it so that she has an idea how much of the money will go to the bills, food expenses and how much is left for recreation..I am not sure is she knows this but I guess she does!
Anyway, it's hard to argue about money! Just try to talk to her, apologize and listen also to what she will tell you and I hope you will be able to solve this issue![/i]
1 person likes this
@Shellyann36 (11384)
• United States
22 Jan 09
Sounds as if your girlfriend needs to grow up! Does she work or is it just you making the living? I would say ditch her and take care of yourself! If you have told her your financial situation and she still acts like you should buy her the world, perhaps her goals are more monetary gain than love.... I would step back from the situation and really think about things. Oh and by the way, if the relationship is getting Physical, you should really think about breaking it off. No need for physical violence no matter what!
@bamrahkirti (1821)
• India
22 Jan 09
I think you should talk to her.May be she is not well aware of your financial position and that is why throwing tantrums for being stopped to buy items which you cannot afford.
If she really loves you she needs to understand your financial worthiness and then she should do whatever she thinks is right for the relationship.Go ahead and talk to her in a calm and composed manner because somebody has to take the initiative.I hope she will definitely understand your point of view and make up with you.
1 person likes this
@jaramy854 (1)
• China
22 Jan 09
there are problems between u and her, and it sounds it is her fault.
to be honest, if i have a gf as her, maybe i will say byebye to her.
@CRIVAS (1815)
• Canada
22 Jan 09
While I understand the part about fighting over finacial situations, I don't think that you had ANY right to hit her, no matter what she did. Having said that I don't think that she should have hit you either. I agree with what a lot of other people have said. If you are angry don't try to talk about it right away, go for a walk, as you can see by your fight with her, talking while you are mad can only cause things to get worse. I think that your girlfriend is acting childish and she needs to grow up. As long as you have clothes on your back, food in your stomach and a roof over your head, she should be thankful. I think that you need to sit her down and show her your financial situation so that she understands what you are talking about.
1 person likes this
