Help! My daughter is too afraid of people
By marisriel
@marisriel (1156)
Philippines
January 21, 2009 11:09pm CST
I'm having a problem with my two year old daughter. He hates to see or she's too afraid to see new faces in our house. Whenever there is a new face, say a visiting friend or a relative who had just visited us in our house, my daughter will shriek and cry loudly as if very afraid. Sometimes my husband and I are a bit ashamed of her attitude because we know it's quite disappointing for the visitors to not welcomed by someone dear inside the house. Her elder sister was also like that when she was one year old but when she got older she was already accommodating and cheerful to guests. But my little daughter is quite different. She won't go out of the room and even if she's very uncomfortable being alone in the room since we have to talk to the visitors, she'll just stay inside. But when we are outside in public, like in the mall or other public areas, she's not like this, not crying when she sees other people, except when they look at her, she will cover her face as if she's so afraid of that people. Have you experienced this with your kids? What do you think should I do?
1 person likes this
4 responses
@rsa101 (38166)
• Philippines
22 Jan 09
Wow that is something new to me. But naturally child at that age really shy away from strangers especially when they saw them for the first time. It is their natural instinct to hide and find a comfort zone. Well have you tried consulting a child psychologist about it, there may be something in her behavior that I find odd and I think a child psychologist could answer that for you. It is better to pinpoint what really troubles her from being too afraid to other people.
@marisriel (1156)
• Philippines
22 Jan 09
Hi, thanks for the comments. However, I think it's still early to bring her to a psychologist, it's still far from my thinking that I already have to bring it there. However, I will not get in the way if it's really needed. As of now, we just try to talk to her whenever she feels like this but sometimes it just depress us when we see her crying and too afraid. I am also hoping that she will outgrow this like her sister.
1 person likes this
@rsa101 (38166)
• Philippines
22 Jan 09
I am not seeing this behavior as normal because what I see normal is just being shy and withdrawn. But with the crying I really find it disturbing why is that so. But it is your choice if you think you can still manage to encourage her to lessen the anxiety.
@dettedeguzman (85)
• Philippines
22 Jan 09
Are you or your husband the introvert type? Some psychologist would say that your child's attitude has something to do with genetics. It could be that you are the timid type or your husband. It could also be one of your relatives. I can suggest that you try to expose your kid to places wherein she could see a lot of people especially children of her age. Make her realize that it is fun to have people around. You can also talk with your friends and relatives that when they come over to your house, do not exaggerate their excitement seeing her. Some kids are too shy being the apple of the eye you know. In some cases though, children want so much attention. I guess, that's not the case with your kid. Make her feel that she is just like anybody else, a mediocre. Try it, and hope it works.
@marisriel (1156)
• Philippines
22 Jan 09
I think you hit me here right dette. Maybe my daughter inherited my husband's attitude. He's actually introvert, not wanting too much people around, more of the private type of person. He doesn't like parties too. I also do not have much opportunities on bringing my daughter to places where there are many kids because I'm always with them, taking care of them as a full time mom, and she's still not schooling yet. But when I bring my daughter to her sister's school, she will play with the kids for a couple of minutes before I take them home. I think she's just afraid of older people especially men with big, deep voices. I'll keep in mind what you said. I just hope that she won't be taking in this attitude when she gets older.
@marketing07 (6266)
• South Korea
22 Jan 09
hi marisriel,i dont have any experience about that to my kids coz at early age i tried to put them into the nursery so that they will exposed to the public..one of my freind son have that kind of habit..so we told her to expose her son to public
@ratha78 (14)
•
22 Jan 09
First dnot worry for your child.First,U have to give or show moral support to her that u are always with her.If someone going tocome to your home, inform her before itself that someone going to come home,tell good thing about that person.So,she knows someone going to come home.This will reduce anxiety about that person.
Tell lots of stories and show movies how to make friends with others and how to interactive with new person.explain everything about this.you tell her,you are comforable with the visitor there're no problem with them.
Finally,consult Psychologist for her problem.Now itself correct the problem.
@marisriel (1156)
• Philippines
22 Jan 09
Hi ratha. I agree, moral support is the least we can give her as of now. If we can just inform her of surprised visits
. I also tell her that the visitor was good, will give her presents, and stuffs but they don't work. Sometimes I think she chooses the persons she will be afraid to. When the person is good looking or maybe with a fair complexion, she will easily give in if she's talked to by that person, but if the visitor is quite not that good looking or with a darker skin, she won't really look at the visitor. Do you think she's afraid of the looks?
. I also tell her that the visitor was good, will give her presents, and stuffs but they don't work. Sometimes I think she chooses the persons she will be afraid to. When the person is good looking or maybe with a fair complexion, she will easily give in if she's talked to by that person, but if the visitor is quite not that good looking or with a darker skin, she won't really look at the visitor. Do you think she's afraid of the looks?