Would you, or did you pay for your teenager's insurance so they can drive?

That's exactly what I mean. How can I expect him to appreciate, and take care of it if I give it to him.

He's got the job. I just need to see him save hs money.

My sentiments exactly. I plan on sitting him down with the computer, showing him how much we pay now, and how much it will cost when we add him so he can see how much it jumps.

sae up* not save us...

He xParanoiax and thank you for your message. It's good to hear that you and your mom can support, and help each other. As to my son, he's young, and I'm really trying to teach him that he needs to do his best to take care of himself. I'm not going to be around forever, and I would like to see him show he can sacrifice for the things he wants. I do plan on helping at some point, but I don't want him to think that I'm going to give him everything he wants just because he wants it. I explained to him that as soon as he get a permit, our insurance will jump. I want him to have the money ready for when that happens, and be prepared to pay it every month. He just started a new job, and I can tell he's looking forward to getting paid. I also told him that if he is a responsible driver, his rates should drop in three years and that he should take advantage of the fact that he's living under my roof where he doesn't have to worry about the true expenses of living every day.

He sounds like a resonable young man. and you sound like your a reasonable parent he'll do the right thing. you've done a your part. he's got his wings.now stand back and watch him soar.

Hi firemountain, That's exactly what I'm trying to avoid while stressing the importance of working, saving money and getting the first three years of driving under his belt. He's working 2 jobs, saving his money and going to school. We seem to be heading in the right direction, and I don't plan on carting nhim around for the rest of his life. Things seem to be progressing well. Well have to see what happens when the time comes to take the next step.

Hi tammytwo, and thank you for your response I only wish the increase in the insurance were to be this low. Where we live, I'm talking about $400 a month more than we already pay which is over $200 a month now. It's just too much money at a time when we could loose our jobs at any time. I alread told him I would help with the car, but I need to see him work and sacrifice to save first.

That is like a good idea. We did not have to pay for our sons's insurance as they were already working part time. But we did not charge them for board and room so that could have something to do with it. It was because they were saving for university. So if your son pays for most of it and as he makes more, is able to pay more, it should work.

Hi suspensful; He's now working two jobs, saving his money, going to school. We continue to talk, and things seem to be falling into place. He understands the extent of the help I'm willing to offer, and what the conditions are. So, we'll see what happens when it's time to actually get the insurance quotes.

Hi Luckylady Don't forget the most important thing to do and at times the hardest. "Whatever is decided STICK TO IT." Once you relent then all is lost

Hi maidangela; Yes, we have sat down, I've laid down the rules and let him know what I'm willing to do based on what he does or doesn't do. He still has no car, but is working and saving all his pay. I hope to eventually get to the point where we can start looking at cars and getting insurance quotes but that's still a while off.

Hi ladysakurax; You may be right, but I've been talking to him, and he seems to be listening. I think he finally realizes I'm not trying to hurt him, but base my decisions on what is best for him. No matter how old a person is, the first three years of getting a license is the most expensive. He knows it's not a good ideas to break the rules, and laws, and that it's best he pay the first three years of insurance while living at home as he has less responsiblities then. He's now working 2 jobs and going to school, and he's saving his money. All positive signs that he's listening, and willing to do his part.

aghh. Give them so much and ask so little

Hi thebeaddoodler: I only have the one child, and we are lucky enough to have lived a good life. We traveled a lot, went on cruises, etc. So, he's used to nice things. He's now working 2 jobs and saving his money. He's still in school, and we are talking. I do believe he's listening, and he understands what I'm trying to do. Let's see how he handles the next step, but for me, so far so good. Take care....

Hi baileycows, and thank you for responding to my discussion. Your opinion means so much to me. And I like you started this similar discussion with my son when he was younger, but he still expects me to just pay it. I agree, I could pay half, but I won't unless I see he's saved a considerable amount of money. Not to say I'll make him exhaust his funds entirely, but I feel he needs to learn that driving, and paying your bills are a responsibility that often leave us with no money for the fun stuff. Our children live in a world of instant gratification, so working towards a goal is a foreign language to them....at least to mine teenager!

Hi hibiscus_mel and thank you for responding to my discussion. It's hard for me to give my son a car, only because so far he has shown little respect, or appreciation for the things I have already 'given' him. For instance, I've taken him out and spent a good amount of money on shoes, and clothes that he didn't even wear. He constantly complained he didn't have anything to wear, or needed a new pair of sneakers, but when I searched out all of those things I bought, the were sitting in a pile, untouched! I talk to him all the time about many things, one being how hard it is to make money. If he can't show his appreciation for the money I spent on his clothes, how can I expect him to take care of a car unless he has to use his hard earned money to help buy it?

Hi twoey; That's pretty much my take on it. If you have to work hard for something, you tend to appreciate it more and take care of it better. We've talked a lot, he's wrking 2 jobs and saving this money. Let's see how it goes..... Take care....

Hi angelwithkids; I've put a lot of rules down too, and have talked and talked. He's now working two jobs, and saving his money. Well see hw things go, but he know's my help will be determined on how responsible he is with what he needs to do.

Hi littletinker: We have had several discussions about working, saving money, drivers license, car, prom & limo, graduation, and college. Right now he's working two jobs, and he deposits his pay as soon as he gets it. He's still in high school, but I do believe what I'm saying is sinking in and I do see a lot of improvemet. We are waiting to hear from colleges now, and planning for the prom. He has his date, the tickets paid for and the limo he wants. He'll be graduating in June, and turning 18. Life is going on, and I really do believe he's doing as I ask. At this point, he knows he's to pay the insurance, and his car so progress is being made. I pray we stay on track with little arguments. Thanks again.....

Hi Erusaro; I appreciate your input, and your experience is exactly what I want for my son. Although I may not tell him, I do hope to be able to help him. I'm not expecting him to do it all alone, but I do want him to work and save to pay it. I want him to know how expensive insurance is, and it's a must for driving legally. I want him to know what it's like to work and save his money so he can achieve the goal of having the money to pay the insurance, buy a car and keep it on the road. I want him to know that in order to get anything in life, you have to work for it, and save. I want him to realize that sometimes you have to go without in order to have what you really need. He's now working 2 jobs, and I'm making him deposit his checks. He doesn't really need any money because we pay for everything. Plus I've been in his ear about how my insurance is going to go up as soon as he gets his license whether he plans on driving my car or not. I'm trying to get him to see that having a license is a responsibility, having a car is a responsibility, and having a job is a responsibility. There are so many things I'm trying to teach him, and the most important thing is I'm trying to help him. I would rather he get his license and pay his first three years insurance while under my roof with little responsibility then being out on his own having to pay all the bills himself. As long as I see he's working, and saving his money, I have no problem helping him get a car, and the insurance. Thanks again for your insight....

I come from a big family who never gave me anything. I had to work hard all my life for every thing I have. My son on the other hand is an only child who has lived a very charmed life. He's had everything pretty easy and I feel he needs to have a taste of real life. I don't mind helping him, but he's got to show my he's willing to make the sacrifice it takes to have, and keep a car. You were lucky to have parents who did that for you. Maybe if my parents had, I would feel different about my son. He has all of 2 classes, works part time, and is getting ready for Prom and graduation. Of course prom will include a nice limo paid for my yours truly which I feel is only fitting since he worked hard in honors classes to get through high school. The next big hurdle.....college. He's fortunate in that respect too. He gets it all paid for......