Getting Marry
By kerriannc
@kerriannc (4279)
Jamaica
January 28, 2009 4:36pm CST
My boyfriend has proposed to me. All my friends here know about our relationship, but I am in two minds. I have started making steps to serve my God in the right and proper way. And as Christians we cannot dwell in darkness and so he suggested that we should get married. He is willing to baptized and serve God. We went to church together on Sunday to the disappointment of his mother who was totally baffled that he went along with me.
But I am seeking ways to be an advocate for Children living with the sickness that I was diagnosed with and sometimes I wonder if when this is finalized I will meet someone who is more gentler and progressive. I know that my smaller sister would have a fits if we got married and seeing that she has always been there for me since finding out about this sickness I don't want to disappoint her.
So I am asking you my friends what would be your advice, Sister to Sister.
Kerry
3 people like this
10 responses
@lucy02 (5015)
• United States
19 Feb 09
Kerri, personally I think you shouldn't marry him. You obviously have doubts and marriage is a very hard thing even if you do love the person. There is so much you have to do, so many good things to accomplish. I think when the time is right God will provide you with a man to love and you will know it.
@kerriannc (4279)
• Jamaica
19 Feb 09
I am in total agreement with you lucy02. I don't think I want to settle with someone who does not take responsibilities seriously and believe that he should have everything in the world even if he does not need it. Appreciate your response very much.
Yes I have committed this task in the hand of God. He is the only one who knows our heart and so will send the right.
@ronaldinu (12422)
• Malta
29 Jan 09
I think that nobody can judge you whether you have taken the right decision or not. If you think it is the best decision for you go along. Do think twice about it but if you are certain, go ahead. I wish you a life long happy marriage. You should be filled wih joy to be able to commit someone whom you really love.
@kerriannc (4279)
• Jamaica
29 Jan 09
Hi ronaldinu, that is exactly the point I no longer love him. I forgive him yes but love that is no longer there. Even a incident this morning showed me that it will be an uphill task being married to him. So I think that it is best to cut my loses and move on.
I know that if I leave my life in the hands of God he will send someone who will be the right husband for me. I don't think that I want to carry the baggage of Norris attitude and behavior with me for the rest of my life. So I will just obey the voice of God and move on.
Take care
Kerry
@sam09d (56)
•
28 Jan 09
Hi Kerriannc, just one question springs to my mind. Do you love this man with all your heart? Because listening to your story I am leaning towards you liking him alot but not necessarily love him. I would say that you cannot please everyone all the time in your life but if you really love him then your sister should be happy for you both, that you have found that someone you can spend your life with. If though, you are having doubts that maybe there is someone else for you in the world, then my advice is think so carefully because you don't want to get married and then discover opps I have made a mistake.
@kerriannc (4279)
• Jamaica
29 Jan 09
Do you love this man with all your heart? To answer your question honestly sam09d I don't think that I do. You see I am more comfortable with him. He infected me with HIV virus and this is the reason why my sister is against him. Since rebuilding back my self esteem I know that he is not my final choice. But because of my returning back to God now I am thinking why not do it. But as Irish said I should pray about it and I will do so and listen to the voice of God for the answer.
@rsa101 (38166)
• Philippines
29 Jan 09
I am glad that you found love in the midst of whatever sickness you have in your life. I think continue on living with your life and belief in God. He will guide you on what to do with your life with him if you lie it to. Just fight for the love you have right now if its worth fighting for. If you can find your happiness and peace in your life with him why not? For as long as you are able to make him go to your church then much better.
@kerriannc (4279)
• Jamaica
29 Jan 09
hi rsa, I would not say that I have found love. We are together for going on to six years. He was the one who gave me this illness which is HIV. I am not deeply in love with him as before. I think that I am only just comfortable with him and thinking that this is the way forward since that I am reaching out to turn this sickness in positiveness where children who are living with it is concern. This is the reason I said that I am in two minds. I am not totally in for it because I love my family and I don't want them to turn away from me. Family is the foremost of everything. We are a small unit only four of us since my mother has passed on. So I don't want us to be divided anymore as it is.
Thanks for giving me your advice I really appreciate it.
@kerriannc (4279)
• Jamaica
29 Jan 09
Hi fwiddy, I will continue pray about this matter. My heart told me to leave him and move on with my life.lol Yes I forgive him but I have stop loving him. I think it is because I don't have a lot of friends around me. Only in the virtual world. What I have started to do though is to attend support group but what I have notice there is that they all given up on life. I have a task now to work on them where this is concern.lol I am so thankful to God fwiddy and because of this I don't want to disappoint him.
I think I know that if I go ahead I will be on my own this time. I know that the purpose I was place in Norris life was to help him to gain back his health. Now that this has happen I can feel it that it is time to move on. Even this morning I was reading the bible a voice spoke to me. Telling me that I should go back home. I will be obeying this voice. God is good my friend.
Take care
Kerry
@psspurgeon1 (1109)
• United States
29 Jan 09
While God does want us to find a spouse, I don't think he would want you to take what was available just to oblige that. I think he would much prefer you to wait until you have found the one that you are in love with that will help you to grow in your spirituality. If this is what YOU truely want, not what you feel you NEED to do then by all means, go ahead. But if you feel he is not your true love, the one you will be able to share all with, I would think twice. If he is what you want, then don't let anyone stand in your way of happiness and love. Pray about it, maybe do some couples counseling at your church first.
@kerriannc (4279)
• Jamaica
29 Jan 09
You are so right psspurgeon1. I will take your advice because doing something because of want is not the way forward. Need should always be the foremost and to tell you the truth this is not a need. I have live single for a couple of years so I can go back to that life. I actually did enjoyed it too.lol
Thanks kerry
@rmuxagirl (7548)
• United States
29 Jan 09
Do you love him? Do you think he is the one God has planned for you? If so then you should marry him. You cannot think of what other people would think or feel about the two of you getting married. DO what would make you happy and pray about it.
@burki1994 (141)
• Turkey
29 Jan 09
Kerriannc if u honestly love that man with ur all heart than u should marry him the true love may lead the true way to happiness don'T worry about ur sister.
@Sandy831203 (67)
• China
17 Feb 09
Your feeling is the most important. I think your sister will be pleased if you live in happiness.
