Do We Have the Right to Judge???

I'm not sure that I have much to say on the matter of invitro ferilisation LadyM. I do struggle with one thing though, and here I am firmly placing my head in the lion's mouth. Why do women think that it is their right to have children? I readily appreciate that many women, and men, want to have children, but that's not the way that it is for everyone. However, women that are unable to have them will move heaven and earth to do whatever is scientifically possible to have their own. What's wrong with adoption? Or even not having any at all? Right. I'll wait for the jaws to clamp firmly shut!

Actuialy I think there is something strange about the entire thing or maybe I have missed some of the news. According to the news report that I read, details pn how the octuplets were conceived has not been released, but doctors not involved in the delivery believe the mother was likely on fertility treatment. However, I see that your report says this woman had IVF treatment. Why on earth would anyone have 8 fertilised eggs implanted when there were huge risks that she could lose some of all of them? It simply does not make any sense when we are now hearing that she has 6 older children. I also think it is irresponsible of the doctor who implanted this many eggs and he should not have done so, regardless of the wishes of the patient. Also I heard on the news that the pregnancy had already been confirmed when the woman first saw the doctors who actually delivered these babies. The only mention I have heard of an adult male is the father, i.e. the woman's father and grandfather of these babies. Where is the husband in all of this I am wondering? Okay so if the woman had some sort of other medical intervention to conceive, other than IVF, and had a multiple birth it would make more sense to me. But to intentionally attempt to have that many babies at the one time is morally reprehensible as far as I am concerned. It is even more so if the report that I read was correct in that the oldest child is around 7 and there is also at least 1 set of twins amongst the older children. Why on earth paid for this medical treatment? Who is going to pay for these children in the future and how much government support will this family receive in the coming years? If they had no other children and it was not IVF, then by all means they should be fully supported but not when this was a personal choice of the woman and maybe a husband/partner. The ones who deserve the support and understanding are the children - all 14 of them and not their irresponsible mother and maybe husband/partner.

Another thing that bathers me about the whole thing is she is unmarried. She is living with her parents. Now I know she has 6 kids and they are a lot but to burden her parents with 14 children it very selfish.

like you, I try not to judge but I also try to find logic and common sense. I raised 4 kids on my own. 2 of them were little surprises...I was that small percentage that got pregnant of birthcontrol even tho I used it right. I can not even tell you how many got on my case when I got pregnant with my 4th and after much consideration opted to keep her! Let me be clear...I did not sleep around & spent much time single just raising my 3 that I had. My 4th was, well, lets just say ...thought provoking. I was raising 3 on my own at the time and it was not a good time to bring another one in. I thought long and hard and opted to keep her with absolutely no regrets. I have worked full time and devoted myself to the raising of these 4 girls....they have turned out beautiful. Despite that...I get judged all the time. This lady is deliberatly having more kids than she can possibly humanly take care of or provide for. I don't judge her as I am sure she has some sort of mental issue going on. I, instead, can't help but judge the doctor that performed the procedure to begin with. Married or single...if a young woman goes in to get her tubes tied....good luck finding a doctor to perform the procedure if she has not already had children. The pro-lifers that are so against abortion should really be paying attention to this! No , I don't judge this woman as greedy because she has given up her life so to speak. I think she is irresponsible and truthfully mentally not capable to make such a choice.

Well I'm sorry to say I didn't see your discussion here. I just started one on the same topic - sorry. Like you I just think the whole thing is strange. She is unmarried, lives with her parents and already had six kids and now has 8 more? WTF?

I have an opinion on this matter but it doesn't mean, by any means, that I am right. But is there really a right or wrong opinion, I just don't know. My question would be to her: why did you choose to have 8 more babies at once? This morning was the first I heard she had 6 other children. It hit the news bright and early in our area. Having one or two eggs implanted would have allowed possibly 6 other mom's to have children, providing they were single implants. The expense of feeding and diapering 8 babies at once would be tremendous. Plus any state assistance that is involved. If one of our kids came to me and said they were about to have number 14 and they were living with us, don't know that I could handle it. I feel very blessed to have 3 grown children of my own. They are healthy, educated and productive. Could I have done this with 11 other children in our household, I doubt it. My husband is a good provider but feeding 16 of us would have been a huge responsibility. I know this person is the second person in the US to carry and deliver octuplets. I wonder if this had anything to do with her decision to keep all 8 eggs.

I dont think she did anything wrong after all they always put more eggs in hope that at least one manages to survive. My aunt was implanted with 8 not once but 5 times and none of them made it. The chances of all the eggs making it are slim. So what if she has 6 other kids I would judge her if she abuses them or they are neglected or whatever. But they all have a loving home and parents more then what we can say for many other parents.

Frankly I don't think greed even begins to describe this 'young lady'. Her circumstances simply scream "I can't take care of myself properly, let alone FOURTEEN kids!", or she wouldn't be living with her parents or married to a man in the military with an uncertain future and the payscale of a knat. She'd be the matron of an orphanage if she was truly capable of caring for so many children, and even then she'd have help. This is just SOOOOOO wrong on so many levels and the Doctor's involved should have their heads examined. This 'young lady' has obvious personality problems. I'm just going to sit back and wait for the day she ends up on Judge Judy, against her hubs, who has brought a suit against her claiming he is NOT responsible for the support of all these kids! But in the final analysis, it is the children I really feel for........Mom's a nut job, 'Dad' could get killed overseas and the grandparents aren't going to live forever, so where does that leave this family in 10 years? Scary!

First, I don't know why any doctor would impregnate a single woman. A child deserves a mother and a father in its life and this woman is selfish to bring children into the world without a father. Many women get pregnant accidentally and keep the baby but this woman actively sought to have babies knowing they wouldn't have a daddy. That's wrong, it's selfish and it's immoral in my opinion. Those babies might have a wonderful life with lots of love but I doubt it. They'll probably never know the comfort of being rocked by their mom till they fall asleep, they'll never get more than a moment of her attention. With 14 children, what kind of quality of life can she give them?

What doctor would have even done this? If the woman already had SIX children, obviously she has no trouble getting pregnant. So I gather that she just wanted multiples. That is just horrible. I would really love to hear her reasoning behind this.

I believe that there is a reason why some have so many kids and others do not. It does not make it easier for those who want children and do not have them. My good friend became a foster parent when she could only have one child and has adopted two other beautiful children through the foster care system. I do not believe in forcing multiple births because it is dangerous but that is not my choice. I just have to live and let others be living there own life. Many implant a great deal because many of the embryos do not make it. My other friend had 3 inserted because the doctor said most do not make it. Well, they all took and she had triplets. She had a very hard pregnancy and was bed-ridden for most of it. Those kids are teenagers now and very healthy, but I personally would not be one to do it. If I could not have kids on my own, I would have done foster care and I would have adopted an older child, too, as I love all kids. I was blessed with two lovely, healthy children, though.

Hi LadyMarissa, Six other children?!!!!! I didn't know that, I am a childless woman and couldn't afford to have IVF and yet this woman seems to be greedy, well never mind as she have to work really hard now. Tamara

I would love to have kids but can't do it the normal way. If and only if I was married, I'd go with IVF. I wouldn't even attempt 8. Two to four would be the maximum I'd consider implanting at one time. I don't have a problem with abortion for medical reasons, but still I wouldn't implant 8 with the idea some would have to be culled. I would hope for a single birth or twins. Twins is doable and a fairly normal risk pregnancy. I would love to have 2-4 kids. Unfortunately I'm still single, so I won't even attempt such a foolhardy thing without a husband.

I judge sometimes but I won't kill or hurt anyone over it. Its not how you feel but what you do. You can't control your emotions but you can control your actions. In my opinion the last thing we need right now is more children. As long as people continue to have long lives there shouldn't be too many children. I say one per customer, in other words each family should have one child but I won't get mad at them or dislike them if they have more.

I feel it is wonderful that she has be able to bless this world with 8 wonderful babies I am sorry that your were unable to have any kids it saddens me children are wonderful and I have 3 of them I see nothing wrong with it really to me it would be abortion and well I am not for abortion so I feel she done the right thing she seems to have a great support system and as long as she is a good parent why not!

The whole story is weird! She lives with her parents. No mention is made of the father. They refer to her as a YOUNG lady. Does she work? How was this IVF paid for? Did her parents pay? If she has six kids, why was IVF even used? How desperate for more children could she be? There is something wrong with the ethics of doctors who allow ANYONE for ANY reason to go through such procedures. Would insurance even pay in such a circumstance? They are SO particular about everything else? Why not this? WEIRD STORY!

I also try to be very non judgemental. How do we know why someone actually does something til we walk in their shoes. The whole story is a little weird but maybe theres parts that arent being told for good reason. Who really knows. But if she was that badly wanting that many children, and to do so must really love kids, then why not adopt from the many children worldwide that are without love and support of a nurturing home. To create 8 more, was putting herself and most of all the children who had no choice, in danger health wise. But again who really knows..

I think 8 is too much it will be risky but there isn't real risk at 4 but i dunno about 6 it must be hard to give birth 6 baby at same timeXD

I think invitro is great...for people who can't get pregnant. I didn't realize she already had 6 kids! I think that is a little greedy but ... if you have the money and a love for kids it's really your choice. But from what I'm hearing she doesn't have the money to take care of her now extra 8 kids. And what gets me is that these woman go through this procedure knowing the chances of having multiple kids is high and yet try to get help from anyone because they have so many kids. I am all for helping people out but they know the risk and it seems they all want a hand out afterwards.