Do you do well in crowds?
By katsmeow1213
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
United States
January 30, 2009 6:38pm CST
Apparently I don't!
Tonight is my daughter's baton show. It started at 7pm. It's now 7:30 and I'm home in my pajamas already. My daughter, however, is not.
The show was held in the school gymnasium. They pulled out some bleachers, but one section was blocked off for the twirlers, so the rest of the 3 sections were for the viewers. There were parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, neighbors, and friends of the twirlers all there to watch. Needless to say, it was packed!
Now I have never done well in crowded places before. I dislike when anyone sits directly in front of me, I dislike any children (other than my own) sitting too close to me because their parents usually don't stop them from kicking seats, or stomping, or screaming, or whatever it is kids do.
Well this place was so crowded, I had some guys knees in my back, my knees were in some other lady's back, there was a kid sitting right beside me, stomping on the bleachers, kicking, screaming, whole 9 yards, also munching on sticky candy and rattling wrappers. There was another guy stepping on my kid's coats (and the wife of this guy mumbled under her breath, but still loud enough for me to hear, that it was rude of me to leave the coats there, directly behind us, and was glad her husband was stomping all over them).
Needless to say, I was getting extremely stressed. My back was hurting, my knees and fanny were hurting. Hubby was hurting too, and the baby was squirming and getting ready to fuss.
So I waited to watch my daughter's group, luckily the second group out, and I left and took 3 of my kids home with me. Hubby stayed behind with one of my boys, and waited for my daughter.
Apparently I just don't do well in large crowds of people. Are you like that, or do crowds and being crowded not bother you?
3 people like this
31 responses
@raynejasper (2322)
• Philippines
31 Jan 09
..well, being in a crowded place doesn't bother me at all.. However, if I stand infront of the crowd, that is another thing already.. I will really feel nervous and uneasy..
1 person likes this
@deepaksalem (37)
• India
31 Jan 09
Me too i will prepare a lot when i perform before a stage. But when i stand before the croud get nervous.
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
31 Jan 09
Hey kats! I with you! I would have been out of there like a
shot! I don't do well in crowds like that at all! I have
claustrophobia to begin with! I don't like being stuck in
bleachers in the first place! I had to see my godchild playing
football about three years ago and that was bad enough! That
was it for me! I would have left too! I can't stand having
people on top of! I don't like being in crowded stores or
crowded places or any kind and will do whatever I can to
avoid it at all costs!
1 person likes this
@4ofmyown (1119)
• United States
31 Jan 09
Oh my gosh, I started feeling stressed just reading your post. With all that you have been going through lately it sounds like that was the last thing you needed. I do get a little anxiety in crowds but most of the time it is more of a feeling of just being overwhelmed...I don't know if there really is a difference. And then by evening I am usually so tired from all my running around let alone go to an extra curricular activity. Last week my boys had a soccer game at 7:30 on a Tuesday night. We live about 1/2 hour away from the field. So I had to get all the homework done, feed the kids, bath the 2 that weren't playing so they would be done, get the snack together for the team because it was our turn, feed everyone (my husband cleans up...I love him!!) and get them to the field by 7:15. They get home from school at 3:30, so that gave me about 3 - 3 1/2 hours. You know and I know that is alot of time but not enough to really get all that done. By the time we got to the field I wanted to cry. Then there was this mother on the team that was screaming at the top of her lungs non stop. I had to bite my tongue to not tell her shut the F*** UP!!!! Of course I didn't, my boys team lost, I had to do the positive pep talk the whole way home, then get them showered and everyone to bed. I was done! But tonight you did good, you did it for your daughter and that is what counts. That's being a good Mom!
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
31 Jan 09
Yeah, I get in this funks where I start to wish I hadn't signed the kids up for anything. Some days I just don't want to leave the house. When I sign them up I'm feeling all ambitious and like I don't mind feeling busy, but then a few weeks later it's like "Can't we just skip this game or practice, do we really have to be out of the house and to a game by 9am on Saturday?" And that's exactly what I'm going through now. Luckily baton is done now, and basketball could be done tomorrow, unless his team makes it into the play offs. Then it's nothing but dance on Wednesdays which I can handle, and I don't expect them to sign up for anything in the spring, their sports are typically all in the fall and winter.
@4ofmyown (1119)
• United States
31 Jan 09
Your so funny! About 2 hours ago I was looking at my bulletin board hanging in my kitchen with soccer schedule on it, counting how many games are left. When I realized tomorrows game was at 1:00, I was so happy because at least I get to sleep in. But have to do it alone with all the kids tomorrow, my husband is working and so is my ex...he always meets us at the field. In a way I am glad because then I get to move at my own pace. I bet you can't top this for this weekend...I have to have 4 completed science fair projects ready for school Monday morning, all 4 have to have a big display board. Yeah me, right? I haven't quite figured out how I am going to accomplish this.
@Paula1966 (1102)
• United States
31 Jan 09
It sounds like a lot of us share the same type of issue. The main differentiation seems to be being bothered by the people, or being bothered by being crowded. I am a bit claustrophobic, which seems to be getting worse. If seats are too close together, I have to get hold of myself. In September, I flew for the first time since the claustrophobia has started, and am thankful I made sure to get the aisle seat to alleviate the feeling SOME (don't think about not being able to get off the plane, la la la). Tuesday, it was riding in the car with my husband and his mother taking her to the doctor. I was in the back seat, and all of the sudden started to get panicky, almost feeling like I wanted to bolt out of the car if it stopped because of the confinement. So it doesn't have to be a lot of people, it is that feeling of not being able to get out. My friends at work have noticed I seem to be bothered by it more when I am stressed.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
31 Jan 09
I think I'm a little claustrophobic as well, I normally like to have the seats just beside me empty, I don't even like hubby to sit right next to me. Sometimes he wants to sit next to me on the sofa, but the only way I can let him is if I sit sideways and put my legs up on him, it's the only way I can feel enough freedom. But I'm okay with one of my kids sitting next to me, or even on my lap.
1 person likes this
@Paula1966 (1102)
• United States
31 Jan 09
I keep telling my husband we can't be in the kitchen at the same time because it is too small. It's in a bit of an L shape, and there isn't enough sides for two people to pass each other. When he is blocking the way, I start feeling hemmed in. Also, when I'm sleeping, if my dog lays across my legs, afer a few minutes I have to get her off the bed because I start having that feeling. It gets pretty bad some times.
@ethansmommy06 (401)
• United States
1 Feb 09
i dont do crowds well. i have anxiety disorder. i take meds but still. i cant even be around a few people especially if they are all chatting. like at work i am in the rehab dept and my co workers get in there and chat and all that stuff and i have to leave cause i feel out of place and that is everywhere i go. i am okay with it here well cause i dont have to look at anyone i guess ha ha. i just dont like it and i dont get out much at all unless i have to. if i go shopping i feel nervous looking at stuff i feel like people are watching me and wondering what im doing and especially when im looking at clothes. i feel your pain!! and i would have told that snotty woman something and the man stomping on my childs coats oh hell no!! i would have went off but that is just me he he
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
1 Feb 09
I was waiting for the opportunity to, but when I got up to grab the coats, his feet were near them, but not on them, so I didn't say a word.
Sometimes I am okay in crowds, but more often than not, I'm not okay. Whenever we go somewhere I always pray it's not crowded. I can do okay with a small amount of people, depending on where we're going, and some days I can do fine in large crowds too, it all depends on if I'm having a good day or not. Normally I just get irritable and don't end up enjoying myself. But so long as I have enough personal space, and nobody is interfering with what I'm trying to do, I can usually be okay.
@proudnana (192)
• Canada
31 Jan 09
hi there katsmeow,
I'm not overly fond of large crowds either especially at some kind of sporting event when everyone is trying to leave at the same time. It stresses me out and I just can't wait to get away from there. Same thing at train stations where there's a huge crowd waiting to board the train. So i can understand what you went through this evening. It's great you were able to see your daughter twirl her baton and I hope you enjoyed that part of the evening.
~proudnana~
1 person likes this
@3SnuggleBunnies (16374)
• United States
29 Apr 09
I"m not a fan of crowds either.
I go shopping usually after I drop my oldest off @ school. I can't stand people who stand in the middle of the asile in a zone and you are trying to get thru. Or they stop to chat in the middle a main artery in a store and don't move aside. I have no patience for people, really... I've been told the proper thing to say is "excuse me". Wich is all fine and dandy, though sometimes I think they are lacking the manners, don't hog the whole asile make sure others can get thru in the first place ya know?
I don't do well at places like fairs and such either. We lots of summer festivals here but between being over priced and the crowds forget it.
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
31 Jan 09
No I dont do well in crowds either. I get so stressed and wound up, I think a lot of it is to do with the fact that I am pretty small and so most people tower over me which makes me feel scared. If I go to watch the kids in a play it is all crunched up and crowded and I can never see a thing because I can guarantee that some big oath will sit in front of me haha!!
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
31 Jan 09
Normally in that case I'd just make hubby switch with me. We're usually very careful about who we sit in front of, and make sure that hubby sits in front of someone tall, or an empty seat. And what really ticks me off is when someone tall sits in front of one of the kids. It kills me people can be so rude.
@rocketj1 (6955)
• United States
31 Jan 09
I have had panic attacks in crowds at one point in my life. It was during a time where I suffered from depression. But prior to that and even since, I really don't have too much trouble with crowds unless it's extremely hot. Then I get really irritated (I don't do well in heat in general)
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
31 Jan 09
I don't handle heat well either. I also get very irritable when it's too hot, and even worse if it's hot and crowded. I guess this is why I don't go out often.
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
31 Jan 09
This must have been a nightmare for you. I personally, keep away from crowds as they can turn ugly. I hate people in my personal space right up next to me. I really start to panic. years ago in the U.K. I was coming home from work and used the tube (underground). suddenly hundreds of football supporters came stampeding down the station and along the track. I had to put my face to the wall and hold on to something or else I would have been trampled by these hooligans. I was terrified that they would step all over me. I held on so tight until they passed me. Of course the police came to late to catch them. I just can't take crowds. to go to the circus with the children was a big ordeal for me as I am looking for escape routes etc to make sure that they would be safe. Good posting.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
1 Feb 09
Wow you poor thing. Sounds like a horribly terrifying experience!
@autunno (350)
• United States
31 Jan 09
Why in the world did I like the Mall when I was in my teens.Now they annoy me.
I really cannot stand to be in a place like a festival with hundreds of people.Most of them the rude bump into you,loud,jump in front of you kinda people...But there are times that things go well at these functions. Happy crowd day!!!:)
@sblossom (2168)
•
3 Aug 09
i think what you discribed is just what i dislike too. Before i lived in a very crowded country. people don't to care about the distance between each other. I just felt not convinient when i went out.
After i lived in the UK for a couple of years, i started to use to the quiet atmosphere. I like people keeping reseanable space when they are in the public.
so when i came back to my country for holiday i obviously felt very uncomfortable with the distance between people. I felt too tired when i went out with crowded people.
@ravinskye (8237)
• United States
31 Jan 09
Crowds don't bother me for the most part. But if I were in a situation like you were I probably would have left too. Some people can be so rude and inconsiderate. I would hate to crammed in like that with knees in everyone's backs. I can't believe those people were stepping all over your coats like that. It shouldn't amaze me anymore, but I'm still amazed when some people act like that.
@phoenix25 (1541)
• United States
31 Jan 09
I don't really mind crowds, but I don't like being crowded...if that makes sense. My husband, on the other hand, can barely handle my dad's side of the family at my aunt's house on Christmas Eve. My husband is a bit sociophobic. He can't handle being around a lot of people in a small area. He starts having a panic attack. You should have seen him at his brother's wedding. In all the pictures, he looks as white as a sheet. This is why I didn't want to have a wedding. Even his brother's small outdoor wedding was too much for him. I didn't want him on the verge of a panic attack when we got married.
@uicbear (1900)
• United States
31 Jan 09
Bleachers are the worst if you don't like crowds. You get squished like a sardine and they are the most uncomfortable seating apparratus ever!
As I get older I like crowds less and less. I will start to get clausterphobic if it gets to a point where a feel i can't move. I've gone to some festivals (The Taste of Chicago) where that was just the case. Once i feel like I can't move I start to get panicked (not that I'm fearful but I just feel like I gotta get out)and hot and by this time I'm looking for the quickest way to get away. I have started to avoid places i know it will be crazy crowded.
I'm glad you were able to get out of there as quickly as you did.
@MichellinaGem (164)
• United States
31 Jan 09
Personally I have never liked to be in a crowded area. I am very very self conscious and I always feel as if everyone is looking at me and seeing everything bad about me. My grandmother always ltold me it is really jus a way of being self centered but I just can't stand it. Large groups of strangers are very difficult for me to deal with. When I was younger I several times have ended up running out of an area in tears from the number of people there. I am getting better about it now, but still don't like them.
@ScoobyDoo8 (9)
• United States
31 Jan 09
I don't really like crowds either I get panicked and start to sweat. I also get really anxious before going to a place were I know there will be a big crowd. I have to think to myself that nobody there is going to publicly humiliate me. Like make me strip down or scream crazy gibberish at the top of my lungs.
