help me out

move one and ignore him at all cost , all hes gonna do is moooch off of u if u let him in , hes ur ex bf for a reason so just leave him alon , dont be hard head about the situation and feel guilty for urself , do what ur doing live ur life and let him stand up on his two feet and let him be a man

I would feel bad, but I would preserve my own territory/boundaries and not let him stay with me. I am sure there are other ways around his dilemma, rather than you being taken advantage of, you don't deserve having to support a man that can't do something for himself. He would probably be upset, but it is something that you have to do for yourself. It seems as if it would only bring you trouble and inconvenience, even if he is your ex-lover it is not your problem at all to take care of.

You would have to be INSANE to take in your X! He is an X for a reason and why do you feel the need to HELP the poor boy? At 30, if he hasn't turned into a hard working and respectable man by now, he never will and once you let him in your house, you will have a terrible time trying to get rid of him and believe me that is just what you will end up trying to do! He will use you up in every way he can just so HIS needs are met and what in the hell do YOU get out of it any way? Oh and by the way, you WILL end up being a mommy to a 30 year old! Heed my warning please. DO NOT DO IT!!!

If he doesn't want to work, what would be his plan for getting his own place? I think that if he moves in with you, he'll be there forever. So how do you feel about that? it may not exactly be helping him to let him live with you, and you may grow to resent him if he doesn't contribute financially. You say that you don't want to play mommy to him, so that implies that he wouldn't contribute much to the housework, either. I would say no. Because there's no way to get rid of him once you let him in.

I was in exactly the same situation like yours in 2007. My ex then was 26 and he actually have his own family, but they are not married yet. The reason for him to ask me that I would adopt him for a while is he is trying to find a job. Then, he found a job near my place and since I am earning much and living solo, I allowed him to stay at my place. Problems came after a week or two. He resigned from his job after a day he got the job. Can you imagine that? His brother is offering him a job, but he does not accept it because of pride. He did not want to go to work from then. Worse, he does not want to stay at his in laws place because he can't do the things he wants to do. He is a happy go lucky and spoiled brat... Something happened that really pissed me off. He does not want to go home to his family, yet he has time to go to his friends partying and flirting. What kind of guy is that, right? I gave him a blow and ultimatum. I said, I cannot tolerate his immature and irreasonable attitude. He is jobless and have no initiative and patience to find one for the sake of his family. With that, I tell you...Do not allow him to stay at your place. He is a guy at 30, he should know how to be and act as a man. It is not your obligation to support him or even sympathize him. He is an able bodied human being, he has to stand on his own. He has to learn and experience the hard way so that he will mature.

Well, it's really up to you.. it's nice to help other people but there are limitations.. you can help him out but don't let him stay with you.. but it's really you who can decide for yourself.. just think of the consequences before making your final decision..

You have to do what's best for you in this situation. I know you care for him but you can't let this Grown Man bring your life down. You have to care about yourself more than that. He has to get a job or some type of income from somewhere. You can't carry him. Sometimes tough love comes into play even if it hurts. it's for his own good. You just might have to turn his request down and he will have to seek help some other way. Think about this - Seriously! Best Wishes

i know you want to help him but first he has to help him self and get a job unless he is disable he sould be working so he can help you out.no one wants to keep up a grown person who are able.tell him he has to get a job before he moves in to help pay his way.

You can help him without letting him move in with you. Lay down the law since he feels like he can get you to mother him. Say I will help you but you can't live with me. Then tell him that there are ways to get jobs such as putting a resume out there. As for a roof over his head may be he can move in with his parents or find a shelter. Basicly you need to point out to him that he is thirty years old and he needs to grow-up and become a man. Besides from my point of view a jobless mooch of a man is very un attractive and very un appetizing to have around EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW..

you cannot help him unless he is willing to help himself. These situations can turn into more trouble than what they are worth, believe me. I just come out of a relationship where I had a similar issue, my partner didn't work, he had a mental illness and refused to get medical help, and it was like looking after another child. All he did was drag me down with him, I have a family to look after though and I no longer wanted to put my children through all that. I say you should just let him go, do you want to put yourself into a situation where you will just end up suffering in the long run? I am sorry if I sound harsh, I have just been through a lot and I know what men can be like and what they can put women through. Please forgive my arrogance.

First off, let me begin by saying that I think it's wonderful that you want to help him...especially since he is your ex. Now let me say this. 1)Could you really live with your ex? You two had to break up for some reason. 2)You shouldn't have to support anyone but yourself. A grown man (without health problems) is more than capable of working. If he doesn't have a job because he just doesn't want to work, then tell him no. Trust me, I've been there. I've taken care of myself, my ex-man, and 2 children all by myself. The kids, I didn't mind. They were my responsibility anyway. But I came to my senses on the ex. Why should I be the only one who contributes to the household? You should ask yourself the same thing. It's hard enough to take care of onesself...much less another adult who can fend for himself. If he wants a mommy, then he should move back home (assuming he can). I think you should play the cold-hearted and tell him that you want to help him, but he has to help himself. And then you should turn around and concentrate on your own life.

You'll end up hurting yourself before you end up helping him. It will just be a burden that really isn't your fault, and it will effect you greatly if he doesn't end up getting his act together. My Mom has had a boyfriend that doesn't really have a job (he plays in a cover band once a month...) She has refused to marry him in case they get divorced, but she always ends up having to take care of him as if he deserves it. And it's really a shame, so I would hate to see anyone else in that kind of situation.

Hes your ex. If he broke up with you, I would not let him come back. Hes just using you. He needs to grow up and take responsibility for his life. He won't learn unless he has to. Tell him to get his priorities in order then you'd consider it.