Resolutions and goals...is there a difference?
@Perspectives (7131)
Canada
February 7, 2009 10:50pm CST
My hubs David and I were chatting today and I mentioned that I was planning to post a discussion on the differences between resolutions and goals. His views about them really struck a chord with me and I'd be interested in hearing what you think.
David believes that the reason most resolutions "fail" is because they are based on something often things we don't REALLY want to do and I agree with his perspective. Whereas when we have a specific goals are combined with solid plans and times for completion they are often more successful.
David and I write, produce and present a variety of self-development courses through our company Fresh Beginnings. How to achieve goals is one of the main reasons clients contact us. Whether it is managing money, losing weight, smoking cessation many have "resolved" to do thing differently but end up feeling like failures because they cannot keep their commitments to themselves and others.
So what do you think about resolutions versus goals? Do you make resolutions...and how do they work out for you? Have you thought about the difference between wishing and "should-ing" yourself into doing something rather than striving to achieve a desired end through planning, persistence, action and belief?
How many life goals have you achieved so far? Be they large or small...if you set them and achieved them then it isn't bragging to say you did it!
I am happy about achieving a lot of life goal already and still have many more in the works.
The approach we suggest is to be mindful of the fact that we all make time for what we deem important. So whatever the goal if it is really important planning for it, creating a solid plan of action and staying the course even when feeling discouraged is a sure recipe for success.
Most "great" anything had a lot of setbacks
before they obtained their final goal. Whenever I receive a rejection slip from an editor I remind myself that the author of Gone With the Wind had over 50 rejections before her great novel was published.
So no matter what your goal was or is I'd love to hear how you have done and are doing with them. You've heard my spin and I'd be most interested in yours if you'd care to offer them.
Thanks in advance,
Raia
I am happy about achieving a lot of life goal already and still have many more in the works.
The approach we suggest is to be mindful of the fact that we all make time for what we deem important. So whatever the goal if it is really important planning for it, creating a solid plan of action and staying the course even when feeling discouraged is a sure recipe for success.
Most "great" anything had a lot of setbacks before they obtained their final goal. Whenever I receive a rejection slip from an editor I remind myself that the author of Gone With the Wind had over 50 rejections before her great novel was published.
So no matter what your goal was or is I'd love to hear how you have done and are doing with them. You've heard my spin and I'd be most interested in yours if you'd care to offer them.
Thanks in advance,
Raia9 people like this
13 responses
@mscott (1923)
• United States
8 Feb 09
My opinion is that a resolution is something a person wants to change while a goal is something they want to achieve. Most resolutions are made to change or get rid of a negative, smoking, diets, swearing, whatever. On the other hand goals are usually positive and dealing with something the person does not yet have or really wants more of. just my opinion. 
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
8 Feb 09
Hi Mscott..
Thank you for dropping by with such insightful opinions. Your views are very aligned to the way David presented his. I agree with both of you and appreciate your input.
Drop by again it was nice to have you here.
Cheers,
Raia
1 person likes this
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
10 Feb 09
I don't make resolutions and I don't have any goals either. If I had any goals and I didn't make them happen, I would feel like the biggest failure. I am a ' great" combination, a pessimist and a perfectionist. So I only try things I know will end up perfectly.And if it doesn't , I considerit a failure and I never try it again.Life goals? Never had any. I had things I wanted to do but i never thought of them as goals. If I had, I would have never done them. some took years and were well worth the wait. But If I said, my goal is... instead of I wish I could... it would have never happened. I agree with you and hubby David.Resolutions are usually things that are coming from outside ourselves. There are things we know we Must do, not what we wanted to do. Where goals seem to be the things we really want to do. It is a passion of ours. And unlike resolutions, goals can and usually do take more than one year.Or at least we give ourselves more time.Another reason I don't make resolutions is because I am not interested inlosing weight or stop smoking, it is hard to stop what you never done. I am not interested in improving. This is as good as it gets.
2 people like this
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
28 Feb 09
Yes, they are mischievous little fur-babies but cute and entertaining and we love them all.
Hope you have a good weekend.
Raia
1 person likes this
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
18 Feb 09
Hi friend,
I had just posted a response to you and was about to add it when one of our 5 cats stepped on my computer and shut it off. It is on the floor partially under my desk but you know cats if there is a way to knock something over or get into mischief they will find it. Oh well, they are entertaining and lovable as well as frustrating and we love them all.
Your comments about the way you approach things is refreshing. It must keep the stress in life down to not be pressuring yourself the way many do. The fact that you have a good level of self-understanding and acceptance is great in my view.
Giving oneself time is another thing I liked. Thanks for offering your interesting perspective I enjoyed reading it.
We are almost ready to launch our website and if you ever care to check it out it should be launched in the next day or so. The domain address is www.fresh-beginnings.com. It has links to our blog and forum and if you feel like checking it out I'd be happy to send you an invite. I have always appreciated our exchanges.
Take care!
Raia
1 person likes this
@Polly1 (12645)
• United States
9 Feb 09
I don't make resolutions. I do have some goals though. Some I have achieved and some I am still working on. Having goals and working on them is a life long thing. You should always have a goal in life, it doesn't have to be big. We should never stop living as long as we are breathing. Its part of life, having goals. Something to work towards. I wanted to quit smoking, I did that, its been 2 years now. Now I need to take off the extra weight I gained. I had a goal I was going to be a power seller on ebay, I did that in a short time. Now my goal is to keep that status, since we are out of the Christmas buying season that will be a tougher goal to keep. I am not going to give up though. I have lots of projects or goals around my house. This spring and summer I am going to have a nice yard and a garden too. Its good to have goals, it helps us focas on what we want to do.
2 people like this
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
11 Feb 09
I loved a couple of things about your response to this one. First up that you can "own" and appreciate what you have achieved. So many people do not do that.
The other thing is what you have actually accomplished. The more we chat the more my respect for you increases. You have always seemed to know your own mind and how to get where you want to be.
You know because I have said it before that your attitude and belief systems are great examples of the outer being a reflection of the inner.
May you continue to make your passions happen and have more of your goals and dreams come true!
Cheers friend!
Raia
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
9 Feb 09
Some interesting thoughts here for sure. Personally for me, there are a lot of differences between Resolutions and Goals, and the biggest one is are you setting your Resolution as a Goal in something that you are really wanting to achieve, or as something you would like to achieve and really do not take any time out of your day and life to achieve it.
Take weight loss for an example. If you vowed in 2009 you were wanting to loose 30 pds. this yr. but at the same time do nothing to change your eating habits, and such then you will often give up calling yourself a failure because you did not even allow yourself time to try it. But if you make yourself a Goal saying this is what you are going to do then it could happen.
Yes, most people that Fail only Fail because they refuse to try, or accept things as they happen. For me I feel if you are really wanting to see something happen, set yourself a Goal and a plan and keep at it. Even if it does not happen the first time as you would like when you refuse to give up good things will eventually happen from there.
2 people like this
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
18 Feb 09
Hi and thanks for adding your views here. I like the way you think and found myself nodding in agreement to the way you presented your ideas.
Yes, the commitment to a goal often depends on how badly we REALLY want it. Fitness and weight are great examples of how people often set unrealistic goals without a clear focus on how to attain them.
We always seem to carve out time to do what really matters and persevering until we get there is a key component as you have said.
Good input thanks for offering it.
Raia
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
9 Feb 09
well ya know about what I went thru these last 4 years . So all I know after surgery and stents put in heart 6 months later I am still here and kicking lololol.
Other than that I havent got a goa;l to go for that I can see .
REsolutions never worked for me I always broke them and David is right ya set the ones ya really dont want to do so they are easy to break.
I would say look to the highset point and go for it dont take small back ups put your goal aside.
Forward eevr foreward!
2 people like this
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
18 Feb 09
You are a shining example of goal-setting and goal-getting. In many of our chats I have always been struck with you ability to move through and beyond things that would have stopped others in their tracks.
I know you choose to focus on what is working rather than what isn't and it is a wonderful way to live. We believe success is whatever we do consistently over time. You have an innate ability and that is why in my mind you are a VERY successful person!
Lots of love and big huggers!
@Aussies2007 (5336)
• Australia
9 Feb 09
David is right. Resolutions are something people don't really want to do.
Because they usually require you to stop doing something you enjoy.
Like stopping to smoke or go on a diet.
Goals are long term... and there is very little pressure on them to stress you out. So people usually achieve them with a certain degres of success.
Like... there are a lot of 20 year old today who are already planning their financial retirement at 60 years of age. That's a goal.
If you plan to start your own business and set a goal of being millionnaire in 5 years time. In most cases... it is more a fantasy than a goal. Goals need to be realistic in order to achieve them.
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
9 Feb 09
Well my friend I cannot add much to this excellent response...except that I agree with everything you said.
Yes, the "realism" part of any game plan can, and often does make the difference between success and "failure." Oh yes, we cannot forget about perseverance. When I look back at times I almost quit. Then when I kept going...bingo all of a sudden I had reached a goal.
Good input, thanks friend.
1 person likes this
@palonghorn (5479)
• United States
8 Feb 09
I have to agree that there is a difference in resolutions and goals. Resolutions are made without any thought of planning, stratigies, or the end result. As for life goals, I achieved what I set out to do when I joined a Volunteer Fire Dept. In the start I was Communication Officer, in other words, the guys went out on any responses, I stayed at the station. lol Until I entered and completed my wildland fire training, including fire investigation. Once I 'proved' myself, I quickly advanced to second-in-command! And I was the only femal firefighter in that dept. I have now worked for the forestry as fire patrolman for going on 3 years! As you know I am dealing with new life changes and without planning and goals.....it would be more difficult to get through. I also set the all to well known goal of loosing weight, that was 5 years ago, I am 5'3" and stopped getting on the scales at 290, but I know I gained more than that. I set a goal and planned how I would make the changes to reach that goal. I am proud to say I lost 150 lbs, a whole person worth, and have continued to stay in shape and kept the weight off plus some.
2 people like this
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
9 Feb 09
Wow...that is an impressive set of achievements! What a pleasure to read how you set your sights on a goal and stayed the course until you reached them. It is the way to do it alright.
The fact that you have managed to trim down to almost half your starting weight is a real credit to you.
From our various chats I know you are a strong person and trust that you will overcome your latest set of challenges. You are already able to stand in the resonance of your own power and thrive rather than just survive.
I respect and admire who you are and how you live. I sent you and e-mail regarding an invite to FBF. If you do not choose to join it would still be good to keep in touch and know how you are making out in the days and months ahead. I will send you my e-mail in a message.
Raia
2 people like this
@pergammano (7682)
• Canada
9 Feb 09
Yes, I have a lot of goals...but I have learned to not make them unattainable, that way (in the few years I have left) I can feel some sort of accomplishment, that allows me to enjoy each day, better! Thanks, dear! Cheers!
1 person likes this
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
11 Feb 09
Ah...love your attitude! Yep, fits right in with that idea that we never fail until we stop trying.
I used to beat myself up all the time with a prissy "Ms. Perfection" attitude. Then when I met David he said to me..."Yes, Sweetie you always get a lot done but in my observation you never stop long enough to enjoy ANY accomplishment before moving on to the next big project. When will enough ever be enough for you?" Wow...was that a zinger, light bulb moment for me!!! It prompted me to do some real soul searching and eventually I knew he was right. Through time I have changed dramatically and both our lives are richer and sweeter because of it.
Quality of life is my yardstick now and it is working for me! Hope you continue enjoying each of your days too. Thanks for offering your views here...I enjoy them!
Raia
1 person likes this
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
8 Feb 09
Hi Raia, I rarely make resolutions anymore and when I did it, I wasn't very good at keeping them. I think that you are right, resolutions are usually about things we don't want to do anyway. Sitting goals for ourselves may be different because we want what we are striving for. As a young man I feel that I didn't have enough ambition and therefore didn't always reach my goals. Blessings.
2 people like this
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
8 Feb 09
Hello again,
Your observations and self-honesty are something I respect. I had never quite thought about it that way until David pointed it out. He always says..."we make time for what matters." I now completely agree with him as well and that is why we are more more vigilant about what we get in and guesstimate how much time will be involved.
Realistic goal-setting with specific action plans is how we juggle the number of interests we do.
Well no matter what is in the past...we truly believe as long as there is a breath there is life and it is never too late to be great!
Wishing you every success with your writing goals. Did you receive the PM I sent you yesterday?
Chat soon,
Raia
1 person likes this
@zigzagbuddha (4601)
• United States
9 Feb 09
Well, the word 'resolution' has as its root the word 'resolve'... which means to make a firm decision about something. The word 'goal' refers to the end which effort is directed. So my take on it is that a resolution does not become a goal until one is actually making choices, etc., that move them in that direction.
Anytime somebody says to me "I'm going to quit smoking" (or drinking, or procrastinating, or whatever they are NOT wanting to do) I know right away they are in for a struggle, because the harder you try to NOT do something, the more you rivet your attention on the very thing that you do NOT want to do, and the more your attention is riveted on the thing you do NOT want to do, the more you will feel compelled to do it!
I have never been much into goals, I have always just lived in the moment following whatever bliss presented itself into my line of vision, hehehehe. I recently (thanks to a fellow MyLotter) discovered Paul McKenna though, and he has a CD on goal setting that has opened up an entire new world for me! The first goal I have set for myself is to become healthier than I have ever been in my entire life so far. I'm very excited about it!
2 people like this
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
9 Feb 09
Every time we discuss things I am reminded that I really like the way you think and approach things.
Yes, the "not" factor does accentuate the positive rather than focusing on the good that will come from a desired end.
Your "being in the now" is my preferred way of living...but I still find that setting a goal with time lines for completions keeps my focus where I want it to be and go.
I have been wishy washy about getting the book out there ever since I completed it in 2003. This year I did not make a resolution to have it "out there" by the end of this year or sooner. No, I am taking systematic steps to polish and tighten it up and begin contacting agents, publishers and considering self-publishing options. Without deciding that I am ready to do it and choosing HOW I am going to do it...it will never get done.
Same thing with getting healthy and strong. I have that goal too. Now that I have set it as a goal I actually lifting my butt off my chair and prying myself away from my computer to do doing some stretching, cycling using the balance ball. So now my plans are in action.
So I guess my wordy answer is running parallel to your approach. In any case, here's to both of having the best bods ever we have ever had! Here here!!!!!!!
Corey
1 person likes this
@Aingealicia (1905)
• United States
17 Feb 09
Raia,
I make goals and strive to achieve them. Sometimes it is very hard to do. I am not sure I have ever made a resolution. A lot of my goals have lead me to places I was not expecting but I do get there eventually.
Thanks for the great post.
Ainge
1 person likes this
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
18 Feb 09
Hi again,
Glad you enjoyed the post. I always enjoy reading your views as well. From what we have come to know about each other you have always struck me as very self-directed, motivated individual.
I fully understand what you mean when you say you have often ended up in other places along the goal-getting road. I think it is great to have clear intentions and focused application but to also allow for some re-routing and going with the flow.
Wishing you every happiness as your pursue your goals...whatever they may be.
I hope we will keep in touch more it has been great catching up.
My thoughts and well wishes are coming your way.
Raia
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
28 Feb 09
You are welcome. Keep on keeping on there. When I was writing my book I often felt that it was writing itself. So like you when I am on a roll I leave myself open to the Muses while they are channeling.
Please continue to take care of yourself. I responded to your e-mail and hope you will take my comments and observations from the loving, caring position that I offer them.
Glad to be keeping more in touch. Lets keep that ball rolling as well my Soul Sista!
Raia
@Aingealicia (1905)
• United States
19 Feb 09
Raia,
Thank you so much, you always make me smile. I will be getting back to you soon. Want to get to chapter 10 and I seem to be on a role. Is that a goal...hehe.
Hugs and thank you for the well wishes I feel them across the miles.
Ainge
1 person likes this
@TLChimes (4822)
• United States
19 Feb 09
I don't make resolutions because they are tied to the New Years thing that everyone says doesn't work. And I think that is really because it is tied to things people don't really want or know how to change.
I set small goals that get me to meeting that big goal. Example: I want to save $1,000 extra. I set the goal of $20 a week. I try to do more, but I meet that small goal "no matter what" (try to anyway but you know what I mean)
If we set those smaller goals we can be more successful, and in that success we can reach our larger goal.
My big goal is to be published one day. My writing lacks but my small goal (at this point) is to write on the stories I write for friends at least twice a week. I post them and get feed back. They really have kept me going. I also have a goal dealing with some schooling I'm doing to learn the "rules" of writing and some child development classes.
1 person likes this
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
28 Feb 09
Hi,
I like the way you present your goal-setting/goal-getting objectives. I agree with doing things that way because it builds confidence and shows that you are capable of keeping your word to yourself. Each seeming baby step does take you that much closer to the ultimate outcome.
In regard to your writing my suggestion is to join contact Writer's Digest and subscribe to their on-line newsletter. Is is packed full of articles and ideas for writers to improve and market their work.
I have been writing professionally for over 20 years and writers write but if they do not learn how to run their writing as a business and market their work it remains a hobby rather than something that they are paid for professionally.
Good luck with your goals and your writing.
Raia
@Canellita (12029)
• United States
2 Mar 09
I think people make resolutions for the new year because they think they are supposed to. I also think that sometimes these people do not have realistic expectations. I personally stopped doing it when I was still quite young and in school when teachers used to try to get us to do it I would write that my resolution was not to write any more resolutions. Having and setting goals and achieving them is serious business. New Year's resolutions are kind of a fad and people aren't really focused on them, they are just going through the motions for the most part. Something like resolving to lose weight, for instance, has no meaning even if the goal is achieved because if the person doesn't make significant lifestyle changes they will just gain the weight back and it's the same for any other goal. In order to reach it and maintain whatever it is you have to change your habits.
1 person likes this
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
6 Mar 09
Hi Canellita,
Thank you for dropping by and adding your views to this discussion. You have made some valid points and I agree with all of them. Words without a solid action plan and commitment do not take any of us very far.
Change is something that is an inevitable part of life and as you said it can be hard to implement.
I also like what you said about New Years resolutions being a fad and that setting goals and achieving them is serious business. I like the way you think! Good input and I appreciate it.
Best regards,
Raia
