Do you think our attention span is decreasing?
@Perspectives (7131)
Canada
February 7, 2009 11:25pm CST
The idea for this discussion came out as a direct result of our business development plans the past few months.
I attended few seminars for small business owners in our area and there was a common thread in all their presentations. They kept saying..."You only have 15 seconds to grab people's attention...if you don't do you will lose them."
Then I have noticed that in conversations with some people they do not maintain any eye contact while chatting. They look away, gaze around and it is as if they are not capable of focusing on anything or anyone for more than a couple of minutes...if you even get that long.
Then there are those who can't wait for others to finish a sentence before they rudely interrupt, change the subject or override the person who was speaking only a moment before.
My next example are those who do make eye contact but you can tell they are not really listening. It is abundantly clear that they are far more involved in their own thoughts than anything anyone else has to say.
Even on discussion forums there are some members who present themselves and their ideas with a seemingly genuine interest in learning more about others. Then there are the little flip one liners that make many of us wonder...why bother?
Our work as life coaches often involves families members and teachers. They express concern about how young people are decimating languages with short form words that many do not "get." They see young people more involved with their blackberries and chatting to a variety of friends on line rather than getting out and connecting in person.
Finally we found more of that when we were asking people to read content on the website. Not all, but some said there was too much content for them to read...even though each link is approximately one page long. Being that we market services...not a tangible product we feel it is important for prospective clients to be able to read who we are and what we are offering. The same thing happens with longer posts on Mylot...and many members point that out. Too long discussions...can't read it...make them shorter and then I will reply. Again not everyone says that...but there have been enough over my two years here to know that view it out there.
All these incidents are just observations of mine. However, I am curious if any of you are finding similar dynamics in your exchanges with people? If these examples are becoming the "norm" for modern society what does that say about us? As I said in my post on goals and resolutions we all make time for what really matters to us.
So if our attention span is decreasing then what does it represent and where is it leading us? Are we so caught up in our own lives that there is no time to stay present, attentive and caring to friends and strangers alike? None of us can change what we are not aware of...so are you aware of these observations too...or is it just my perspective?
Raia
7 people like this
18 responses
@Aussies2007 (5336)
• Australia
9 Feb 09
In business... grabbing people attention is about grabbing their money by closing the deal before they can start to think about it. We also call it "pressure selling".
The car dealers were renommed for it. They would not let you out of the car yard until you bought a car. They would convince you that you would be stupid if you did not buy it.
This sort of practice became unpopular during the 80's and 90's with people becoming aware of it and not wanting to be part of it.
It has now re-surfaced in telemarketing. If you get a call from someone trying to sell you a phone, an insurance or something else... and you are not strong enough to say "NO"... chances are that they will have debited your credit card before you hang up.
On the subject of people not paying attention or listening to you... it only means one thing. They are not interested by what you have to say. If you are trying to sell them something... you will need to use a different approach... or simply accept the fact that they are not interested.
On the subject of interrupting... I can tell you that it is genetic. lol
We all do it in my family. lol
I had an argument about this with one of my friends a couple years ago.
The way I justify it... is that if I listen to him for 15 minutes without interrupting... I will forget half of the things I wanted to question.
If you look at reporters listening to a speech... or lawyers in a court of law listening to the evidence... In both cases they are writing notes about everything they will want to question.
But in normal life... people don't go out with a pad and a pen... so that they can take notes when someone talk to them. So we break up the conversation by asking our question straight away.
Some people do find that rude... and don't want to continue the conversation.
But why should I listen to something I don't agree with?
Some people like to make speeches without interruption.
All I do by interrupting... is to create a debate. But those people don't like debates... because they believe that they are always right... and there is nothing to debate about it. lol
@Aussies2007 (5336)
• Australia
11 Feb 09
The more open your mind is to things... and the more interests you have in life... the more incline you will be to listen to what other people have to say.
But if you live in a little cocoon... where your life revolve around working, eating and sleeping... with only one objectif in life... making money... chances are that your capacity for taking part in a conversation will be very limited.
A lot of people seem to shy away from "debating"... because they view it as arguing. I don't. To me "debating" is about finding the truth. While arguing is about disagreeing and fighting on personal matters.
As for listening... if I start talking about computers or motor racing to someone who has no interest in it... they will fall asleep.
I am sure that you have no more interest in reading what's on my website than I have in reading what's on your website. lol
1 person likes this
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
11 Feb 09
Well Aussies...I must find what you and others say interesting because I read every word...attentively. Maybe it comes from my mother instilling a love of words and books from an early age. Maybe it is the inquiring mind writer/reporter in me and that is why it seems odd that being attentive is so much "work" for many I see out there.
Your observations about car sales and lack of boundaries with other persistent sales rep is true. Of course drawing a firm line in the sand and holding to it is key in any healthy exchanges in my view.
Your views and experiences of interrupting...all I can say on that is we all do what we know or were raised to do until we choose otherwise.
I also agree with your ideas of mind games and debaters. My response to those who try to get their jollies by evoking conflict is...to stop and remind myself that silence is the only thing that no one can argue with...or aboue.
Really good ideas and an insightful...and entertaining read. Thanks! I have missed our exchanges. Hope you are managing to stay cool as we are staying warm. David says to say hi!
Raia
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@Polly1 (12645)
• United States
9 Feb 09
I think sometimes our brains do get crowded up with everything. We have a tendency to try to do too much at the same time. There is even a name for it, multi-tasking. Too much is going on, we all need to take time and smell the roses, we might be surprised how sweet they smell. Life is like that, we need to take time to sit back, relax and enjoy life. We only have one life, enjoy it while you can. Life can sometimes be way too short, we are not promised tomorrow. As you know I am a jabber mouth, I can also listen too. I do read thru your post and usually have something to say back, lol. I have learned alot about grabbing someones attention quickly. With my ebay sales, I won't have buyers if they don't stop and look at my listings.
2 people like this
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
11 Feb 09
Your observations and comments are true. Yes...how many of us pride ourselves on being such great multi-taskers. I used to be more that way than I am now. Granted I do have dual monitors on my desk but it simplifies my work and so I am "tasking" with more focus if that makes any sense.
I loved your ideas about pushing the pause button and really savoring the moment...breathing the real as they say. My mom was big on that she always said...all we have is right now...this moment...enjoy it my dear. Ah yes, what a wise lady she was and I miss her so.
Anyway, I am a motor mouth too but when I was a talk show host I learned to listen. My mentor, an old time print news reporter and talk show host constantly reminded me to pay attention. He said the greatest way to communicate with others is to show genuine interest, ask questions and respond accordingly. He also said body language often spoke louder than any words and that is why I love the T.V. show Lie to Me. It presents the subtleties in non-verbal communication and we use it in our work with clients.
So thankfully attentive listening is an art I learned from others and I try to practice it every day...even on line. Each time I carefully read each word and do my best to pick up on the energies within them I feel that I get to know people with greater depth...even when we've never met. Just like you and me!
Thanks for always being loyal to Perspectives topics. Now I am making sure I drop by to friends sites so I can show my appreciation back.
So long for now...stay warm until spring and continue enjoying your big, happy family. Hope sales continue to flourish on your E-bay business and give you a prosperous 2009 and beyond!
2 people like this
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
9 Feb 09
you are right on that an I have caught myself doing that no pay attention to the person talking specially if I dont want to hear it or I have a different veiw but they don tlisten tome lolol,
I think thats why in all mine and hubbies travels we never talked much for I wanted to look at him while he talk and he me also.
I find it awful hard to talk to someone if I cant keep eye contact with them.
Its like a teacher I had in history now i liked history but he droned on and on and ya got no good out of what he said, Finally I got out of his class into another one and he made history come alive with the way he talked about the events with just words he would really make you see what had happened.
SO they are right but I think you might have a minute to grab attention on a written page.
2 people like this
@roniroxas (10560)
• Philippines
8 Feb 09
hi my dear friend. i can say that was quite long. and you know what i stayed with it. read it and understand it. as you know i am a singer and there is a part in our job that all we did was sing and no one really is interested. it is like someone just put on a radio and they are all back on what they wanted to talk about or minding their business. so i learned how to get attention bu sharing jokes and singing very popular but very hard to sing songs. then i get their attention. i dont like to be a wallflower in a job i love most. i deserve to be heard. wink wink. when it comes to people of new generation. i think more people are always in a hurry. as you know too that i am a single mom of four children and i have a lot of things to do inside and outside the house. when they are asking something i like them to say it directly. stop bitting around the bush, i dont have all day..... by that i can say that the society of today is like me (as i am one of them) i need something that is direct to the point. say what you want to say. yes i can say my attention span is decreasing while my chores are increasing. but i do have time to be present to be there to have an ear as long as i know i am not wasting my time. as you know my dear my time is so precious. my kids even told me that i am like the rabbit in alice in wonderland always saying IM LATE IM LATE. nice to see you around my dear sweet potato
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
8 Feb 09
Hi friend before I start, let me congratulate you on reaching over 5,000 credits. That is really good! Thanks again for the wonderful gal-pal acknowledgment as well...it brightened my day as you always do. As I have mentioned so often before you always give a lot this site and I am so glad when we are back in touch.
The fact that you stay with my lengthy discourses is a loving act and I appreciate it. Especially because I am aware of the many demands on our time and attention.
Hearing about your approach while on stage made me smile. I can envision you standing in the strength of your own power, belting out songs in your best voice..and commanding their attention as a result of it. Would love to see that one day. What type of music do you like to sing the most and where do you perform?
I know by now that you are a "give me the bottom line" kind of a gal but always drop by to add your insight to my discussions (even when they are long) hehe means a lot to me.
The fact that your kids know you show up for them and give them your full attention is the greatest gift any child can receive. So don't want to make you LATE..so I'll sign off with a big hug...
From you pal and sweet potato!
Raia
@roniroxas (10560)
• Philippines
8 Feb 09
Sometimes I don’t know if my response to your discussion is what you really meant….lol sorry if sometimes I did not get it that much and sorry also if I somehow twisted it to a more complicated one. I start singing in our parish church choir when I was in grade four around 9 or 10 years old. But before that my dad who knows how to play the guitar always wanted me to join amateur singing contest and I guess I was born with a good singing voice for he wont be pushing me to join if I don’t have a good voice. I no longer remember if I won anything from those contest. What I remembered is when I joined a singing contest when I was 15 and I I won second price with just singing Words Get In The Way of Gloria Estefan. I hope you know that song. I said “just singing” for that song was not hard and not a belt singing song. But still I won out of a lot of contestant who were there strutting their stuff and belting it out. I perform in hotel lounges. Sometimes solo and sometimes with a band. I sing 4 or 5 times a week and on special occasion on weekends. Before I use to work everyday including Sundays but now I give my Saturday and Sunday for my kids even we only just stay home. I only work weekends on occasions like weddings and alike. I songs that depends on the ambiance. I sing soft jazz music and sometimes love songs. My song varies from the 50’s and up to the present. All covered songs. Always a little of what the people knew. Thanks for the congrats about the 5,000+ post it was fun to be here and it makes me relax. It is cool to give your piece of mind and get paid for it. Not a lot but something that I can be proud of.
1 person likes this
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
10 Feb 09
Throughout all our many exchanges I have always felt that we understand each other very well.
I know you had mentioned that you were a singer but I do not recall us ever discussing how you started or how your career emerged. It is delightful to have you share more about that. I bet your kids are proud of you too. Do you have any videos or soundtracks that are available for us to see and hear...like on YouTube?
Off we should be chatting about music because another friend (KeyManDan) just put a link for musicians where his music is posted. I checked it out and became a "listener" member. I will post the link right after this one because of exist I'll lose this.
Anyway, yes, I am familiar with that particular Gloria Estaphan song. They type of music you sing is one of the genres I enjoy. I do hope you will keep David and me updated with your successes. If you ever feel up for letting us see or hear videos or soundtracks we'd be thrilled!
Did you receive my invite to FB. Do not feel pressured to join...but we did want to invite you as the great friend you are.
Many big snuggly hugs to you from your sweet potato!
Raia
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
8 Feb 09
I think the problem in life in general most of us have is the mulit-tasking mind-set, don't you think? Our lives in general are so busy that yes, we may be guilty of not giving our full undivided attention to anything in our lives.
To direct the idea about long discussions. As you know I've done my fair share of really long discussions. I don't even realize I've written that much until the discussion is actually posted and I'm laughing to myself thinking...gosh, did I write all that? I'm guilty though of often passing long discussions of my friends....okay hit me with a wet noodle..LOL. But I spend so much time doing on-line researching for my articles and I confess I'm not a very good on-line reader...guess it's due to the fact I so much prefer having a physical book to read rather than read on-line. So by the time I finish up doing on-line research, write the article or articles, by the time I get to MyLot to participate in discussions I'm drained from all that on-line reading. Most of my time is also spent making replies to those who have replied to my discussions to give them the courtesy of acknowledgment I read their replies. What is really bothersome to me now though, is the fact I don't even read books that much anymore. I used to read quite a bit before going to bed, now hardly read at all as my eyes are just too tired to read anymore
2 people like this
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
8 Feb 09
Wow...how good to know you are here. Thanks for dropping by and adding your insight to this discussion.
Yes, we both have a tendency to pour our hearts into whatever we write about in true "show" rather than "tell" fashion. Everything you presented here are ideas I can relate to.
Your point about sitting down with a good book or even magazines is something I enjoy way more than gathering info from the screen on my computer. I also am the same way with editing. I read it on the screen and always find errors. Whereas if I hard copy it and read it out loud I absorb more and can edit more effectively.
With all the life changes I've experienced my goal is to live in present time, stay focused and attentive so that it is possible to savor exchanges with everyone and everything. "Breathing the real" is a phrase I like because it reminds me that each breath could be my last and I do not want to miss a moment of the good I am finally enjoying.
Hope you sleep well and look forward to keeping in touch more...here or at FBF.
Wishing you continuing success with your many ventures.
Raia
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@Anora_Eldorath (6028)
• United States
9 Feb 09
Raia-
I definately think this is occuring and it's spoken about all of the time in teacher methods courses. We speak about how the average adult only has a 15 minute attention span, and that it is shorter the younger we are. What does this say? Yet, if we have a child who can sit for hours with a puzzle, etc we label them Autistic.
I'm not sure what the solution for our society would be. We're inidated daily through the media about having things our way and quick. Even our postal service speaks about having things next day. We don't ever seem to slow down, not even for the things we enjoy. If you start interviewing people about what they like, most of the time you'll hear complaints about how they never have time or how they have to rush through them because they have some deadline due at work, or other.
Perhaps there is some truth in the Eastern way of thought. Some of the Eastern thought has made it to the West, but most has been watered down and polluted so much there is nothing left to pull from.
I would say just in my own experience, having students take part in daily meditation may help them learn to focus, and focus for longer periods time. I would say that having them involved in Zen activities would help them to learn the art of focusing on one task to perfection, such as flower arrangement, or such.
2 people like this
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
11 Feb 09
Hello and thank you for such an informative, interesting addition to the topic. As life coaches we present courses in dynamic living through the continuing education department of various school divisions.
We have noticed glazed over expressions with that "information overload" expression and make sure to do a course correction to help them focus. Getting up, stretching, telling a joke helps.
Your ideas about the "busy-ness syndrome" are akin to ours as well. Simplified living is something many don't have a clue about. David and I have been there and that is why we decided to walk our talk...leave the big city and purchase a home in a rural community of 850 residents. Sure we made a lot more money in our old home town...but we are living a richer and far more abundant lifestyle now than we had a larger income.
We have and continue to study Buddhist teachings and the one we like the best is...all our suffering comes from our attachments. Since we have become less fixated, engaged and "attached" we are also more attentive and present. So we have seen both sides and definitely prefer this perspective.
Great chatting, hope we will again.
Best regards,
Raia
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
8 Feb 09
I have noticed that today in these Days People are to much in a rush
Anything that takes longer then 1 minute they do not want to know, I mean reading one Page is nothing but to most now you would think you are asking them the world it is sad
No one has time any more
I have to admit when I used to attend Meetings I would not look in the Eye I would doodle not because I was not paying attention but because it was easier for me to pay attention by not looking at People, I am just a shy Person and I never wanted to see the impression of their Faces if it was not a good comment, as I always thought People criticize me and that I am no good and that I am just stupid (due to my Background) so I was paying attention but just not able to look at People and still can't now
And it is not just in Business People have no time, it is in everything, all it is now is rush, no one wants to be held back and always want to get there fast
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
10 Feb 09
Wow Gabs...look at your credits! You will be at 20,000 before you know it. I have come to accept that I will be just a little "putsky" poking away with my credits and probably never reach where you are...even if I live to 100 and beyond. I just do not have the time to spend here. However, I like this site and the friends I have here and always come back.
I notice on the Ning sites people do not chat that much. They post a lot of comments but do not engage in discussions they way members do here. I like the exchanges and keeping up to date about what is happening in friends lives and miss that on the Ning ones.
Anyway, back to the point of the discussion. I appreciate your examples and I agree. Your honesty about how you communicate and why is very genuine. You have told me some of your past experiences and I am sensitive to how they made you feel and why direct eye contact can be uncomfortable.
Your views about the pace of life and people's lack of interest troubles me too. I guess those of us want to make a point of connecting and carving a space in our lives for all those who really matter. Just to let you know Gabs you and Gissi to matter to me.
Warm hugs and bright blessings,
Raia
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
10 Feb 09
HAH...you very eloquently stated the way I feel when talking to some who are multi-tasking in their brains as we speal.
Good one!
Cheers,
Raia
@pergammano (7682)
• Canada
9 Feb 09
To answer as succinctly as possible...I know it is...and I contribute my concentration levels to the super sonic speed at which we are living today! Spending most of my time multi-tasking...too many little electronic gadgets like cell-phones (that's why mine stays home most of the time!) interfering! I think we just "busied up" our minds, too much!
1 person likes this
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
11 Feb 09
Hi again friend...
Yep, been there...done that and do not do it any more. We are living with more focused intent and simplified our lifestyle when we left the big city and took on rural life.
We endeavor to do a few things well before taking on much else. We lay out a game plan and stick to it and do not go faster than we are meant to. I would not trade this life for the one you describe for ANY amount of money..and I mean that.
Quality of life is key...and from I see people are very busy...but are they happy, healthy, fulfilled and having fun as part of their daily diet? In my observer mode...I am not thinking so.
Raia
1 person likes this
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
8 Feb 09
Hi Raia, There is certainly much to ponder here, but if our attention span is decreasing, it is probably because of modern technology. I am concerned with the fact that many young people have more friends on-line than they do in real life. I don't think it is the best way to live, especially for young people. I love having friends on-line but they cannot take the place of friends that I've known a lifetime. Like you, I've had people say that they don't read long discussions and I've noticed other things that you mention as well. If it is mainly the young who are experiencing this, what does it mean for the future. Blessings.
1 person likes this
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
10 Feb 09
Hi...I am sooo happy we are connected and chatting in more than one place...and I loved the photo you have on FBF!
Anyway, yes, there is a lot to ponder...but then you and I both like to get our "thinkers" going...and that we do.
Your observations and concerns echo mine. Especially the ones about young people. Like you I truly value the wonderful on-line friends I have...but nothing compares to sharing laughter, food, hugs and good cheer with cherished friends.
So I am not sure if there is a solution...maybe if we put our heads together we might choose to get more involved and mentor kids instead of spending as much time as we all do keying away as well.
Good input as always, thanks my friend,
Raia
@zigzagbuddha (4601)
• United States
9 Feb 09
Actually, the time I have spent here on MyLot has helped me tremendously in being able to take what I want to say and pare it down to a few paragraphs rather than a few pages, hehehe. And say it more clearly as well has been a very rewarding experience.
Nor am I all that interested in what anybody else is doing with their attention span. There is no point in trying to insist that somebody be interested in something they are not interested in, and if it is something that they are interested in then there will be no problem with their attention span.
1 person likes this
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
10 Feb 09
Well maybe. However, the Buddhist teacher I work with gently suggests that "conditioned existence and habit patterns" keep people doing what they do until they are "awakened" to do otherwise.
People who are rude, over-bearing, arrogant and disinterested are that way through habit patterns and upbringing. If they have never learned the art of attentive listening they lack the skill. In my experience they might feign interest but have no clue about how to sustain focused attention. In my mind attentive listening is a skill that few are taught...and has little to do with interest. It is an inside out dynamic...in my view.
1 person likes this
@zigzagbuddha (4601)
• United States
10 Feb 09
I don't deny for a minute that habits of thought and belief create the reality one perceives, and that it sometimes takes beating a gong in some sleeper's ears to wake them. But, unless they have asked to be wakened at a certain time, it is no one's business to go banging gongs in their ears just because somebody else thinks that they should be awake by 7... and besides that they should be interested in something other than video games! Hehehe.
Most people have a whole lot going on in their lives that they are juggling, and unless you can shock them into putting their attention elsewhere then yeah, they are going to remain focused on the balls they have in the air.
The ability to deliberately focus the attention and sustain that focus is a valuable tool, that's no lie, but it is almost an esoteric subject actually, and there is nothing wrong with somebody who wants to 'sleepwalk' through a few lifetimes.
And you are wrong about interest not being a factor. It is absolutely a factor. A major factor. If you can capture somebodies interest it doesn't matter whether they are skilled in the art of attentive listening or not, you will have their attention. For a little while anyway. But if you wanted to teach somebody how to listen, you would first have to interest them in listening.
The bottom line is that if an individual does not have the listening skills that are necessary to interact with you then they have no business interacting with you, unless you can sneak up on them somehow, hehehehe.
1 person likes this
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
11 Feb 09
Wrong huh? Sorry friend I do not subscribe to right/wrong accusations. We may differ but that does not make me "wrong" and you right. Your opinions are yours...and you are welcome to them. I have my opinions and do not claim that I am right. Nor am I interested in making you or others "wrong." Think the way you want and I shall do the same...and you are welcome to your judgments about right/wrong as well. I just do not share them.
Your ideas about habit patterns and conditioned thinking are similar and I agree that it is not up to anyone else to shock people into paying attention if they are not ready. However, we are all students and teachers to each other and sometimes we "awaken" when we come across something we are ready to hear. Staying stuck is an option...but so is being open and we are more open when we listen. So we could run this one around the mulberry bush but I think as usual we know were we are coming from and even when we don't that is OK too.
I will respond to your e-mail tomorrow and your "quote" is something David and I are considering. We have a variety of interactive home-study manuals that need polishing up...but right now we are focusing on the goals we have already discussed with you.
Cheers friend,
Corey
@shamsta19 (3224)
• United States
8 Feb 09
Well obviously it isn't all of us but I agree, our attention spans have gotten shorter. I do believe it is due to the mass influx of information we now have available at the touch of a button or keystroke nowadays. Due to the newer technological advances we have made, and the masses of gadgets we have at our disposal now, it is hard not to drift away in our toys, gadgets and do-dads, not to mention the media's continuing input to the trend. We basically are trying to process so much information now we have to find time to crunch it in to a regular twenty four hour schedule (another spell) and it is easy to become bored with something that takes longer to absorb.
How's that?
1 person likes this
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
10 Feb 09
Hi...and thanks for dropping by.
How is that? In my view...your views are...RIGHT ON! From what I am reading in the responses so far we all seem to be in agreement on this topic.
Well, then what does that say about us? If the need to process more information faster and our eyes are glued to "screen" in their various incarnations...and our ears are glued to cell phones I cannot help but wonder where the humanity within the human race will be 5, 10, 15 or 20 years and beyond. What kinds of adults will the kids of tomorrow be? Will laughing, chatting up a storm face to face, connecting with people in truly meaningful, focused, caring ways become "automated" or not be there at all?
Well if that is what is in the future...I plan to hug and focus on as many people as I can before that happens. Then when if and when it does occur it will be time to out to the next realm. Then hope against hope that "beings" there have not forgotten that feeling connected to each other is what makes life worth living. For me at least.
Great input and ideas...thanks again.
1 person likes this
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
14 Feb 09
Hi again,
Thanks for that. You are right though none of us has a crystal ball to really know for sure what the future holds. All any of can do is make choices, see the effect, keep what works and do course corrections when it doesn't.
I appreciate your participation here. Thank you.
Raia
@shamsta19 (3224)
• United States
11 Feb 09
I wonder where the future will take us? I suspect it will be much like you described or there will be a complete revolution and we will revert back to our traditional ways. Somehow I think you are more accurate but only time will tell that.
1 person likes this
@kiran8 (15348)
• Mangalore, India
8 Feb 09
Thanks a lot for an excellent write up ! I think basically it is the lifestyle that has changed and which in turn has changed many of our functions, including being unable to focus for a longer time. I had attended a workshop meant for teachers( i am basically a teacher) and we have been told time and again not to stress the students by making the lessons too long. The maximum attention span is for only 14 minutes, after which the mind wanders ..
The lessons are formatted depending on this principle and ideally a teacher should concentrate on the most important part of the lesson for a maximum period of 15 minutes , and then dictate notes or ask questions - divert the mind of the students to a less stressful, lighter activity for another 15 minutes..so a subject should be taught based on these principles and an ideal class hour should not be longer than 40 mins.But not many follow this and I have seen bored teachers go on with their lessons to an equally bored set of students for the entire 40 mins, actually having imparted nothing worthwhile..
1 person likes this
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
10 Feb 09
Hello Kiran,
Thank you for your positive feedback about the discussion...glad you enjoyed it. I am also grateful to have you impart your observations and experiences in the educational field. Little did you know when you posted this that I will going to pass it along to my life and business partner David.
We are life coaches and group leaders and have noticed shorter attention spans with adults from when we started leading groups in 1990. Out of curiosity, have you had any courses that address the recommended length of time to present material in adults?
Our clue to take a break and suggest a stretch, laughter, 10 minute chat time, deep breathing or whatever is when participants nod their heads with a glazed over look. That is our red flag for "information overload." Once we change tracks for awhile the group comes back with greater interest.
Anyway, having conversations about focus, attentive listening is part of what we do for a living...as it seems to be with you. Great to have professional point of view and I am grateful that you stopped by and offered it.
I look forward to chatting again.
Best regards,
Raia
@TLChimes (4822)
• United States
9 Feb 09
I do see the things you mentioned. But I think that it isn't JUST shorter attention spans. I think that there is so much more to see and do at the speed of Internet (or satellite)
You can talk to more people at one time. You can cover so much more ground. Now the question becomes "Is this better or worse for people"
I'm not sure what the future will bring but I am old fashioned and encourage some simple old time ways to keep my kids in the real world.
We write letters on paper and send them by mail to the grandparents and friends. No typing skills learned but I think they will over come.
With no tv or radio we play these strange things called board games at least twice a week. It means we talk together and laugh and act like family and people.
We read this thing called a book. It's this thing you hold in your hand and read this stuff printed in it. It's real cool. They even share some of this with their friends.
Ok, seriously... these "old" practices are necessary to keep them in the people way. Simple things like this would encourage better interaction. If we lose our people skills why will we care what happens to others?
I read and enjoy longer, deeper posts. They are so much better then the fluffy ones about what shirt I'm wearing today. (you didn't write that one did you?)
1 person likes this
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
10 Feb 09
Wow...hello and welcome to Perspectives.
When I post what some call "thinker" discussions I do it with the full intent of slowly, carefully and ATTENTIVELY reading what each respondent says.
As I did that with yours I felt a little "zing" in my heart center and breathed a relaxing sigh of relief. I said, "There you go Raia...this is a reminder that there are other "elders" like you that refuse to give up on the "old" ways." You echoed my views and my hubbies as well.
Although we do not have kids of our own we have been involved with Big Brother Big Sister and our friends' children and always do our best to engage them in the kinds of activities you have described. Do you hear the sound of clapping hands ending with a big thumbs up! as I shout "GOOD FOR YOU!"
Your kids are very fortunate to have parent so willing to spend quality time and show them there is more to life than what "lives" inside computers, cell phones and blackberries.
Now don't get me wrong I am all for technology. I love my computer and dual screens and I do have a cell phone. However, elders like us know there is more to life than that. You just made my corner of the Universe a little cozier...ah yes...there are like minded others with similar mindsets!!!
Just one of the many reasons I keep coming back to Mylot after being MIA. Love to meet people like you!!!
Raia
1 person likes this
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
11 Feb 09
You are most welcome. I feel the same way. Meeting kindred spirits along the path of life makes it sweeter and much more rewarding. Not that I am for sameness...but when things wing out too far it feels rather surreal.
Sometimes we watch Gerry Springer for as long as we can stand it..usually uh...5-10 minutes max. Shows and ideas that are so far removed from own own give the consciousness and stretch alright. Besides it reminds us of who else is inhabiting the planet with us. (Hah...what a surprise that can be!)
Anyway, hope to chat again and maybe we will see you on our forum sometime. You'd fit and be among friends.
Cheers,
Raia
@TLChimes (4822)
• United States
10 Feb 09
Thank you for such a wonderful welcome!
It is always nice to meet like mind folks. That they are wise and add a smile to my day is a great bonus!
My kids are far better for the simple, old style, things we do together and in all honesty.. so am I.
1 person likes this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
10 Feb 09
There have been times when I find that I am talking to myself when I am having a conversation with people. I do believe that for some their own lives are seemingly more important than ours. When I encounter these people I tend to make my conversations with them short and to the point. Why bother going into detail about something when it is clear that they don't really care? The ones that stop and listen are the ones that truly care.
Life is too short not to stop and smell the roses, but we also need to know about how to care for those roses to keep them blooming.
Big huggers to you.
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
10 Feb 09
I was about to say that for those people you were discussing that this post is Way too long. I bet they started to read it but stopped in frustration. I think our attention span is decreasing because we are way too busy, We are trying to do too many thing all at once.So when they should be listening, they ae trying to figure out what they should do next.that the kids feel better texting than talking in person may mean that we have a generation who won't really connect to people.There will be a whole generation who won't know the art of conversation. It is an art.To really connect, you have to listen to the other person. Not just wait for them to finish.We are losing people like Johnny Carson. I was told he would listen to you like you were the only person in the room.Since we are too busy to listen,there isn't any real comnnection between people And what is sad , the young think this is normal.We're doomed. the only way to really understand anyone or their views is to Really listen.
1 person likes this
@miamilady (4910)
• United States
10 Feb 09
Hi Raia,
I am definitely one of those people with a short attention span.
There have been a few times when I've wondered if I came across as rude to people.
I've caught myself jumping to finish other peoples sentences. In my case, I think it was not so much to change the subject, but probably to demonstrate that I could relate to what they were talking to? I may have been guilty of trying to push the conversation along (speed it up), but if I did it certainly was unconsciously.
I'm trying to be more aware of that habit and trying not to do that anymore.
I am also one of those pople guilty of avoiding most of the long posts.
I just can't seem to still still long enough to read more than a certain number of words.
To answer your question, which if I understand it correctly, is "are we as a society developing a shorter attention span"? My anser is, I'm not sure.
It is possible that overall we have a shorter attention span.
I hear a about ADHD a lot more now, than I did when I was growing up.
But, I don't know if it is because there are more kids (and adults) that HAVE ADHD or if it simply because now we have a NAME for this behavior and we are more aware of it.
Another thing that might "prove" that we have shorter attention spans, is the trend of "multi-tasking". It seems that we are all multi-tasking more than ever!
Is it because we just can't stay focused on one thing for a long period of time, or has it become necessary to have the ability to multi-task in order to remain competitive in our world?
I'm not sure what the answers are, but it sure is a good question!
1 person likes this
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
10 Feb 09
Boy you sure do post short responses. I would like to know more about what you think but appreciate you dropping by.
Raia