Common criticisms and compliments

I don't think I'd take it as a back handed compliment. If you took time to look around you - you'd see that most children are horrible in terms of manners! My husband works in a place that entertains children. They are absolutely horrible most of the time. They do not know the words "please" and "thank you". They steal, they whine, they are generally poorly behaved. Please pat yourself on the back that the children you have raised are so wonderful!

Hi scorpio19 Last year my brother tore me off a strip about how I am bringing up my kids and he upset me deeply. I wouldn't pick the phone up to him for about 2 weeks after that and he has put a huge wedge between us now. Yes I do let my kids run on a long lead because they are kids but I do reel them when I feel it is necessary. I think that I have actually put his actions down to jealousy as it all seemed to stem from my mum paying more attention to my kids than his. The ratio in his family is 1:1 where as mine is 1:3. I think my mum always looks at me and my kids and wants to help out what ever way she can even if it is just to tie one of my kids shoe laces. I have often had people say to me the same as you 'how do you do it?' to which I reply, 'like everthing in life, I just get on with it'!! Life for me with my kids father was a lot harder than what it is now so I'm not complaining!!

I get that all the time with my children I have five. I was also a single mother to my four eldest for two years. When people find out they also say 'how do you do it?'. My reply is they are good kids and do not give me much trouble. I think the best compliment I ever received was one a teacher said to me, she had taught four of my five children and said to me 'I don't know how you do it but I wish you could bottle how you are raising your children and sell it to the parents out on the playground. If only all the children were like yours.' People always tell me that my children are a credit to me as they are well behaved and very polite.

Hi scorpio, I've never commented on parents bringing their kids up as I know how hard it is, although I have never experienced parenthood, I helped bring twin my neice and nephew up as my sister got rid of her no good husband, so she had to manage withe the twin. They are both in their thirtys now and doing very well in their lives, so I never ever pass judgement on any parents with their kids as most knows what they are doing. Love and hugs. Tamara xxxx

The biggest critism i have heard is either i do not correct my children enough or i correct them to much. My children are not perfect, but neither am i. I guess the worst critic i have is myself.

Parents, listen to your mouth.Do criticisms accidentally slip out instead of compliments? Criticism and compliments get different results. Which results do you want?Criticism gets results:"You'll never amount to anything!" "You're the laziest kid I've ever seen!" "Don't be so stupid!" Parents, do you get frustrated with your kids? Are you out of patience? Do you regret the things you say? Listen. I know raising kids isn't easy. I know it's a full-time job. I know you get frustrated. On the other hand, it's a fact that when you tear your kids down, you get results. imagine being the parent yelling,"Get out of here! Stop annoying me." Look at your parent's face. What do you see? Hear your parent's tone. What do you hear? Experience your feelings. What do you feel? Do you to want to please your parent?Are you angry, sad, or hurt? Would you feel like pleasing or rebelling? Parents, it's important to realize that criticisms don't affirm but they do get results. hey don't build up but they do tear down. Criticism prompts your kids to: Fester inside with pain, shame, and anger. Avoid a relationship with you. Fear more of your criticism. Feel self-hatred. Rebel.Criticisms take on a life of their own: They become your child's inner self-talk and feelings. They get repeated by your kids to your grandchildren. They can recycle forever. How to turn criticism into positive results:Listen, parents. You can have a positiveinfluence on your child. You can resolve o change. You can be patient.You can think before you speak.All you need to do is: Look in the mirror when criticizing yourchild and ask yourself, "Is this the face I want my child to see and remember? Decide to change. Practice catching your child being good instead of bad. Notice your child's face when you use compliments. Replace criticism with positive praise everyday.One more thing, you'll never regret using compliments. You'll never regret building p your child. You'll never regret the results.

Hi, U r Right.We are very sensitive about our parenting(skill?), but criticise others,easily! Conservative,pamperiing,iresponsible,selfish,buttering,indisciplined,rude,pompous,unruly etc etc adjectives I've heard and also used in Parenting skill( about mine & others). Will you agree? =Lahiri,Kolkata,India.