Would it be fair to have another child?

Hi twilight, My circumstances were a tad bit different than yours but I did find myself in that spot sort of unexpectedly. The difference is that I did not have a solid relationship with the father and was already raising 3 on my own. I worried about those things as well and even worried about telling my mom who took it remarkably well. I was 38. That little baby added so much fun to our lives that I don't know why I worried so. I say, you go ahead if you want another child. Your kids will be adapt and be just fine. Mine are now 32, 23,22 and 15. Some pretty good age gaps there but ya know, Now that they are older....gaps don't seem so wide. They are all quite close. Best of luck to you!

Hard choice to make. I am the youngest of 6. My older siblings are 24, 22, 18, 16 and 6 years older than I am. It's odd having a brothers and sisters old enough to be your parent. Though we have a good relationship now, as I was growing up, I felt isolated and was always left behind, because I wasn't ever old enough to go do anything with them, and by the time I was born, my oldest sister already was married and had a child the year before I was born. I seen in previous posts that you said you'd talked with your other children on this, but I would take another step and if you have a friend that's got a baby, baby sit a few times to see how they react to having a baby in the house. And that might give you some insight on how things would be down the line.

When I told my older son I had something to tell him he guessed I might be about to get a third dog. He was so surprised to hear that I was pregnant. I was married to my older son's dad and we got divorced. He is Australian and at the moment he is teaching in Asia. I found another man after we got divorced and it was a surprise for my older son to imagine getting a younger brother or sister. So there is a twelve year age gap between my two children. I think if you can afford it then you could have another child. I am sure your older children would love him or her. I have a thirteen year old son and a twenty month old son. Some people in your situation would have two children so that in the future it might be they are 19, 16, 15, 3 and 1. Then there would be three elder ones and two younger ones. Otherwise the younger one might feel like a lonely child when he or she is a teenager. When my older one is thirty my younger one will reach eighteen. Good luck deciding.

I was also in the same position as you I had four children from my previous relationship when me and my partner decided to have a baby together. My children were 15,13,9 and 5 when my youngest son was born. When we told my children that I was pregnant I got a mixed reception the youngest three were very excited. My eldest was like 'oh well another brother or sister one more will not make much difference', he is very laid back. But now nearly three years down the line my children all get on great, the elder ones absolutely adore their little brother. They can not do enough for him. They look out for him. My eldest who will be 18 this year now babysits for us so we get to have some time to ourselves and my youngest son is with someone he knows and trusts.I think the best way is that if you do decide to have another baby is to get the elder children involved. That is what worked for us.

My brother was 14 when I was born and my parents never had him have responsibility with me unless he wanted to spend time with me. The only thing i remember is wrestling with him in the living room. 15 years later, my half sister was born. Again, my dad and step mom didn't tell me to babysit unless I said that I want to hang out with her. In my case, I was singled out of the family. Now that they have a daughter that is in to the sports, I felt that whatever i did to make them happy wasn't enough. Ask for their input. Don't expect them to take over baby duty. My parents didn't and now having one of my own, my step mom taught me a lot and she doesn't even know it.

I think it's alright if you wish to have another child. You're still young and as long as you can afford to provide for her/him. You don't have to worry with the older children, it would be fine for them and maybe their willing too to take care of their younger sibling. The more the merrier...

I am the youngest of 6 children. My oldest sister was 15 years older than I was. It was in a way lonely for me. I didn't have anyone really to talk to growing up, and though I wish I was close to my siblings, I am not. They only contact me when they have computer problems, as I grew up learning and using them. I feel used most of the time by them. They say it didn't really matter to them that our parents had another child, but for me it was horrible. My father was 39 when he had me, and I always worried, that he would die before I finished high school or got married. There are many things to think about, and regardless on how one family faired, you need to talk to your kids to see how they feel about it. But also take in account how this child could end up feeling having such older siblings.

We adopted as I could not have a birth child after marriage. But if there was a miracle, I would have wanted more but the social service people decided that I should not have any more. So here I am now caring for a husband who needs help dressing, etc. And they think I was unfit? I would say in your case, being an incurable romantic, I was wondering why you have not gotten married. I sort of love weddings. I would think since you are just living together, that it would not be best to have more children because anything can happen, and if suddenly you or your partner were to die, the court might consider what yours is yours and what his is his. Whereas if you were married, if something happened, then it would be divided equally and be more fairly distributed. I would hate it if suddenly your man were to die, and you had to move out of the house into a flat with your children.

If you can afford to have another child why not? Just explain it very well to your children. Emphasis that it is part of having a family. Since you are with your new partner, both of you deserves a new baby. I know your older kids will unerstand. Especially if it will makes you happy.

I think it is fair enough to have a baby if you are confident about it. You will be the mother and you need to manage the things. But since your kids are big you should discuss the same with them.

Hi, you have children from your previous partner and they are still your responsibilities. To good them good education and just that everything they need to stay in this competitive world. so are you able to give them all that they deserve?then it comes to the second part since you and your new partner have no children and shes looking for the children then ...thats also fair. but as whole you have think a lot what you should do. because all the children from past or present aregoing to call you Daddy...:)

I think there would be nothing wrong with having a new baby. The plus side is that your kids from the previous relationship are old enough to help take care of the new baby. I'm sure if you sat down and talked to them about how much it would mean to you they might surprise you with their enthusiasm. Good Luck :)

We are a blended family with an added child. I too am 33 years old. There won't be any more but I have my elder children (22, 21, 16) and my younger children (8, 4, and 18m). My only real regret is that the two sides don't really get to spend much time together because of the things older children do that takes them from home. But I think each had their time with mom. I was a different mom to each set because I'm older and wiser now. But both had time with mom and each other. I like space between them in some regard because you can enjoy each baby for it's self... something you can't do it you have too many too close (14 under the age of 7 for example) again I think, mom time to themselves is important at any age. If you have only one more I would have only one cation... be sure that she or he isn't spoiled by being the baby and so much younger then the others. Does that make sense?

My Sister has five children now. Two were from er first marriage, then she had one with her present husband. After 11 YEARS, she found out she was pregnant again, and had two more young ones in her early 40's. And she wanted to, too! She is doing great, her kids are great and you should have a child if it is what you and your spouse decide on. It has to be what you want to do with your life, because as you know starting a new life and family is a full time job.

I would not recommend it. You already have three children who are older and very close in age, why would you want more than that?

Well for as long as your children is comfortable about having another one in the family why not. I guess it is about tiem that you give your partner a baby to call his own and there's nothing wrong with that if your partner wants it too.

well, for me, its fair enough to have another child for your partner. Its just a matter of how you will support them all not only financially but also physically, emotionally, etc... I mean, be sure that you can attend to whatever they need.

Oh!Our grandparents had atleast ten children in their life and managed to grew them up all.It is now that we confine and restrict ourselves with one or two and it is because we know contraceptive measures unlike them.If you can economically back up another child,then you can go for it immediately as your new partner would like to see his own child.And you are not over aged either.Don't make things complicated thinking of other kids tolerance.Cheers!

well you have 3 children as you said and they are 11,12 and 15 yrs and your age is 33 now and now you are in a new relation. well having another child will not effect or have any wrong impression on other children but you will have to think of the financial contidions now as all the three children are grown up and well now they will have expense and your big child is 15 and in 4 to 5 yrs he or she will reach the age for marriage and then you will again have expenses . keeping all that in your mind you and your husband decide for another child

you should not go for another child. ..because your other children are grown up. .if u ve option to go for another child it is wrong dissision