Is the face you show the public, the same one that you see in the mirror?

@TLChimes (4822)
United States
February 11, 2009 8:17pm CST
I was told by a couple of different people how they liked how I kept my smile while dealing with so much stuff in my life. These people (4 different folks) were all tied to my special needs kids. So I thought maybe because we were dealing with my favorite people (the kids) I showed that on my face. I don't always feel as they saw me. I was wondering how many of you showed the world a different face then the one you thought you showed? Do you feel you honestly show what you want others to see? And is it what you really are. I think in my case I do smile through it but not to the point that they seemed to see.
2 people like this
8 responses
@mysdianait (66009)
• Italy
12 Feb 09
I usually have a smile even when I look in the mirror. Those close to me know however that my smile is very good at masking some of the thoughts that are going through my head at certain times and the face that is looking in the mirror also knows that what is being portrayed is not always the true situation. I don't like giving all my problems to others. I'm sure they have their own and don't need mine too I am very positive in every situation, even the worst and those close tome are aware of that, just because the face does not let everything show When I'm happy though my smile is even bigger and that can be seen both by myself and those who see me whether they know me well or not.
1 person likes this
@TLChimes (4822)
• United States
12 Feb 09
I see a smile on my sister all the time but rarely does it reach her eyes. I can tell her "people" smile from her honest smile. She is much more public then I am though. I guess more practiced. I'm a home body solitary by nature.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Feb 09
I like your attitude of not giving or putting your own problems on to others. I try to do the same as well, for others may have more difficult situations then my own.
1 person likes this
@mysdianait (66009)
• Italy
12 Feb 09
Exactly my feelings Anora_Eldorath. If I'm happy I tend to hare it but the rest I don't if I can avoid it.
1 person likes this
@CRIVAS (1815)
• Canada
12 Feb 09
I have to say that the face that everyone sees on me, is the face that reflects who I am. I never try to be anything that I'm not. In fact there have been times when I have told someone that if they don't like me the way that I am, then they don't have to be my friend. I would never change who I am for another person. I think that we just need to learn to be ourselves and appreciate eachother for our differences instead of trying to make ourselves into something that we are not.
1 person likes this
@TLChimes (4822)
• United States
12 Feb 09
I've told that to people... doesn't always get them to go away. I am what I am and intend to be that way.
• United States
12 Feb 09
That's the best way to be, to accept and appreciate each other for our differences, and in that we find our similarities.
@plumwish07 (4057)
• Indonesia
12 Feb 09
not all of the time the expression in my face in public, showing whats going on with me on that time. due to profesionalism in my working place, i should not show the privacy expression about something happened on that day. sometimes is good to have this matter but sometimes you will feel that its inappropriate
1 person likes this
@TLChimes (4822)
• United States
12 Feb 09
True... I guess I just didn't always think of what my face showed untill people read it wrong.
• United States
12 Feb 09
I can honestly say that I have no public or private face what you see is the real me. I can understand that dealing with children can cause you to hide some of your feelings but as I do not deal with children I do not hide anything.
1 person likes this
@TLChimes (4822)
• United States
12 Feb 09
I thought I had only one face... one that wore how I was feeling. But when these folks saw whatever...it made me think. It seems a lot of times I do smile over my kids but not realize it.
• United States
12 Feb 09
I think it is easier to not hide from your children or spouse because of your level of confortableness with them, and because they know you.
@kissie34 (2294)
• Philippines
13 Feb 09
In every people I met, there's always a part of me that I am not ME.. I always deal with people who I have just met as someone that same with their personality or mood so that i can easily go with the flow with them.. I know that sometimes I becoming plastic with them since I'm not showing my true face.. I always pretend to be somebody that sometimes I'm hating myself to be that person.. All of my friends knew that I'm a person who is very noisy (my mouth won't shut when I started to talked), funny, sweet, strong person, and most of all easily to be with.. Sometimes, i don't know if all the things that I have shown to my friends were all true since when I'm with other people who I had just met I've show another side of me.. I don't talked so much, I'm a shy person and most of all very weak just like a baby or a child.. Sometimes, I'm thinking of showing my true color but I don't know it seems that somebody's telling me not to do it.. When I'm all alone, I just see myself in the mirror as the combination of the two side.. I used to stay at home all the time and never speak out what's on my mind.. I just like to be alone and I don't like people even my family bother me when I'm at home.. Usually, I just watch movies then sleep, repeating it over and over again when I'm at home.. But when I'm with my friends, I'm the one who's always talking it seems that I don't get tired of talking..
1 person likes this
@TLChimes (4822)
• United States
13 Feb 09
My sister is like you. She is great in a crowd but is still the kind to let people get under their skin. Me? I can't stand too many people, too much of a crowd, too much of anything. I'm the kind you find watching people from the corner booth.
• Malaysia
12 Feb 09
I guess there are times when I would not like to hurt a certain someone..so I don't show it out though I may not like it or agree with it. But there are people whom I find that I'm very open with and I just show myself as it is..and expect people to accept it. This is where people actually call me arrogant.. :p...but if I don't show my true self then they'd climb over my head which is just not acceptable. So, it really depends on the person that I'm dealing with. :) Princess
1 person likes this
@TLChimes (4822)
• United States
12 Feb 09
That makes perfect sense. Each person we deal with has a different set of rules that we use when dealing with them. And yeah standing up for ourselves so we don't get run over is something I wished I had learned a year earlier.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Feb 09
I think you're on the right track. No one should allow another to use them as a door mat or feel somehow less then they are. You in your own right have that right to be who you are. Definately not arrogant at all.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Feb 09
I think we all have our various faces, even if we don't think we display them. Most of us have our face for the public that hides our own inner workings. I think for the most part this is a defense mechanism for us as humans to protect our emotional psyche. If we went revealing everything about us, that puts us in a high-risk situation. In communication it would be nice if we all who we were all of the time, but human nature makes this very difficult. We sometimes risk all, sharing all of our personal thinkings, wants, and desires with the wrong person who does not appreciate those closeness. So, we learn from that situation and become guarded in our next encounter. There are studies that have been done in communication and in the field of psychology in which people study facial expressions. That's where we've learned about which way people look with their eyes when they are telling a lie or telling the truth. It's an interesting study.
@TLChimes (4822)
• United States
12 Feb 09
Sometimes I don't think people always properly read others. (I think you refer to things beyond this conversation and I will disagree with you on how you perceived the others intent, but that's another discussion and one I'll leave off because we will not agree on it) I don't really think we are all guarded... as others have said... we are sometimes just as we appear to be. It's what others see that is flawed. Like I said above, I don't wear that smile those others saw. At least not as far as I know. I just deal as would if they weren't there. Either I perceive Self wrong and am happier then I knew, or they saw something I wasn't feeling.
@gelay07 (588)
• Philippines
12 Feb 09
sometimes i do wear a mask in public just so they wont see I'm weak or I am dealing tough times. I often like them to see me smiling and cheerful as if things are all in place. I don't want them to see me in my weakest point because i feel i lost something or whatever. I always put up a strong front.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Feb 09
Sometimes if we put on the smile, we actually physically feel better. It is said that if we wake up feeling sort of depressed that the best thing to do is to get up, get dressed, and get active. There is something to that. The mind is a very powerful tool and is our own best medicine cabinet, according to Deepak Chopra.