If You Deal With Depression, Do You Let It Control You?
By KrauseHome
@KrauseHome (36448)
United States
February 16, 2009 4:01pm CST
From someone here who has had to deal with a lot of depression in my life, I know how easy it can be to allow Depression to overcome you and control you, instead of you continuing to take control and get the help you need, or find other ways to take you mind off of things and live your life instead.
I came from a Very abusive childhood and can tell stories of things that happened that I actually feel are better left alone. It made me make a lot of wrong decisions and almost got me killed as well. I have also been Raped, and emotionally abused so I know that overall it has to be me who has to be ready to continue to carry on as well.
I have always wanted to Write a Book about my life, and things people could do that deal with Depression and have been thru some of the same things just to be able to help encourage and strengthen someone else as well. One day that is definately one of my Goals and to be able to share and touch a life somewhere is definately worth it as well. I know I now have been diagnosed with PTSD, and severe depression but thru counseling, and the help of God, Prayer, etc. I am able to move forward. I know it has to be me to make the choice, and not someone else, and if I continue to live in my Sorrows how can I become who I need to be as well?
Personally we all need to be able to take a stand when Depression hits us, and be able to move forward. There are so many things out there that can impact us and if we are choosing not to be ready it could damage us as well. You need to find someone you can Trust talking too, and share your feelings of anger, hurt, etc. and be able to move thru them as well. Also find a Church or someone who is a strong Christian you can talk with and help Pray for you as well.
One good thing I enjoy about myLot is we are able to come in here and offer words of encouragement and hope and share our experiences so that others too can become a better person because of it. There are many in here I am constantly saying a Prayer for and wishing you all the best as well. 2009 could be the yr. of healings and miracles in your life if you let it.
~~TINA~~
5 people like this
18 responses
@jamborieman (563)
• Philippines
16 Feb 09
I deal with my depression by not letting my depression get the best of me. What ever happens never ever let such a thing get the best of you. Like a ballroom competitor in the dance floor, when in the dance floor instead of letting your mistakes get the best of you just focus on what is ahead instead. The past is the past and the present is the present. You can't do anything about the past so you just have to be more focused on the present for it not to ever happen again.
And yes I agree praying to God really helps. I prayed and prayed when I got low grades in my 1st semester as a college student here in the Philippines and I prayed so hard for myself to pass then I did pass! "Nasa tao ang gawa, Nasa Diyos ang awa" A Filipino saying meaning "It's the person's job to do the task, It's God task to give mercy"
And another yes! Mylot really helps in getting through these obstacles in our lives since it really is an interactive community and people really help and care.
Anyway have a nice day Ms.Tina.
3 people like this
@bamakelly (5191)
• United States
16 Feb 09
You seem to have good words of wisdom here. It is sometimes easier said then done though. I agree that the present and the future are what is important. There are some hurtful feelings that I still can't let go of. I really don't have much choice but to move forward because I have a family that needs me. I can't check out on them now.
2 people like this
@jamborieman (563)
• Philippines
16 Feb 09
Thank you for those kind words bamakelly.
I can't really give you tips or comments about where you are right now because it seems really inappropriate because I myself don't have a family yet.
All i can say is good luck and don't worry because everything happens for a reason ( i know it's cliche but they really do)
Great success to you and your family
2 people like this
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
16 Feb 09
I was diagnozed with clinical depression in 2003, it has been a major fight and most of the time it has controlled me, the doctors didn't help always wanting to throw antidepressants down my neck, they made me worst and they didn't get to the route of the problem. I find that therapy helps me, having someone to talk to, a stranger no less, plus going to the gym has helped my fight against it, I guess it's due to the chemicals that are released in the brain whilst exercising.
I go four times a week and I love it, it gets me out, I also suffer from anxiety as well and tend to spend too much time indoors, so going to the gym gives me a purpose, after six years I have changed a great deal and now it doesn't have any control over me, I won't let it. I have only one life, I refuse to let it defeat me.
I have had wonderful friends on Mylot too who have helped me, supported me and shown me unconditional friendship without whom I wouldn't have come so far, so I owe a lot to them.
It's a long hard battle and it can be so debilitating and it can take you over and it doesn't just destroy your life it also destroys your partner, family, friends etc... it affects everyone.
I never want to find that dark cloud again and I am determined to stay strong and enjoy life to the fullest, depression will not deprive me of a life I justfully deserve any longer.
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
17 Feb 09
You talk as if getting rid of depression is a matter of willpower. It is not and platitudes that you can think yourself out of depression is wrong. However there are things that you have to watch for. In my case, when I get depressed I have to fight against doing something that will harm me. Then I became a Christian and not just a nominal one like I was before. God is able to give one strength to fight against it, so even if one is depressed, one does not do the bad things one did to oneself. You see, now I am able to recognize the dangers and that helps.
@dodo19 (47317)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
17 Feb 09
I do have depression and anxiety. Though I can't always plan the good and the bad days, i just deal with it. I try to stay positive, although I must admit it is not always easy. I just take it one step at a time. Right now I think that this is the best I can do.
@bamakelly (5191)
• United States
16 Feb 09
I do deal with depression and anxiety. They both seem to go hand in hand. It is definitely not something very easy to deal with on a regular basis. I wish I knew how to deal with it but I can't really let it control me. I have to try to take care of myself and be there for my family.
I think that the love of family can get you through anything.
@jane239 (521)
•
17 Feb 09
I have a hormone imbalance which means my estrogen levels get high and mood gets low, really low. You can't let depression control you. From my experience I can say the worse thing you can do is nothing. When I'm depressed, I keep busy for two reasons. First of all it stops me from worrying about everything and anything and secondly if I get in to the nothing-ever-works-so-whats-the point mode, then I know I'll start to wallow and that's not what I need.
Working through it and being with people are essential. Even if you are not in the mood for mixing with anyone, you need to be with people. I still can't believe they sign people off work for depression, it's the absolute worse thing you can do, if you're depressed the last thing you need is to be more isolated at home,even if you do have to force yourself out of the door it's worth the effort.
I find things that lift my mood as well, like music which I love or just making sure I eat really well which helps my mood. I drink soy milk which lifts my mood and plenty of pulse based meals to steady out my blood sugars. Eating poorly, especially a diet high in sugar can make my symptoms worse. Oily fish will lift your mood as well and I use yoga to still my mind and to help me feel better and more in control. Finding out what works for you is the most important thing.
@alokn99 (5717)
• India
17 Feb 09
It is quite difficult to not let depression get the better of one. Atleast in my case i have found that trying to conciously fight it always keeps it in the back of the mind and one gets caught up in it. The things that i have found help me get a better control over it have been friends who get you diverted away from things, activities which you like doing and also one's daily work if it is enough tends to keep the mind from thinking too much on the lines of a depressed mind. Then there are those instances when we see others in a state which seems pretty worse of than ours and we feel thnakfullness towards not having got to go through something as bad.
@cobrateacher (8432)
• United States
17 Feb 09
Once in a great while, I allow my depression to take over for half an hour or so, have a good cry, then get back to taking control. I live alone and work too hard, so I can't allow depression to interfere with the things I have to do. It's a hereditary, life-long condition, complicated by abuse and total lack of self-esteem. For the past several years, my husband (who is in prison for a crime he did not commit) has been helping me come out of it. Before that, he would have but, like most victims of abuse and depression, I'm very good at hiding it. Taking control feels so great, I can't imagine how I survived all those years of horror. Prayer, meditation, education and having love to share with a wonderful man have done so much! I had a great therapist for a long time, but I am able to handle things without her now, and very proudly. I think one of the most important things was to rid my life of the toxic people who had kept me down since birth, so I no longer have a birth family. The enormous weight that lifted from my shoulders was the start of a major turnaround!
Each of us has a different path, and we have to find it to find ourselves. That's where we can start working on depression. Helping others is important to us all, in order to be free to help ourselves. MyLot includes so many loving, caring, compassionate people, it's a total joy! I'm happy to befriend anyone who needs or wants to have a caring friend who really pays attention!
Joanne
@comfort55 (1574)
• India
17 Feb 09
Kudos to you Krause for dealing with depression so efficiently. These are very encouraging words from you and hope will help the people who are suffering from depression.
I have suffered a lot financially for 15+ years, had gone into depression, but could not think of consulting a psychiatrist as didn't had funds for that. My parents are aged, I never talked to them about it. But what helped me overcome all this was, first of all prayers and secondly positive thinking which I learnt from my hubby. We'd gone through hell, inspite of that, hubby never lost faith in Almighty, and kept his positive attitude intact. Only once, during our worst to worst condition, did he prayed to God that he is fed up of all this, he should kill both of us in a car accident. I shudder when I think of that horrifying time. It's so nice to talk about all this to our fellow mylotters and encourage each other by sharing our experiences.
@dropofrain (1167)
• India
17 Feb 09
Depression anyways controls You all the time. To overcome the same, you need to keep it in your control. Depression is basically a state of mind due to the external and internal circumstances.
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
17 Feb 09
Hi Tina~I have also been diagnosed with severe depression. I
also had a very bad childhood and lived through alot of the
same things that you did which have caused me to have a very
difficult time all my life. I am now in therapy and on medications
to try to get myself on some kind of even keel. It is not easy
to deal with depression. I have to try each and every day to
make myself do things and not think of the past and try to
move forward. I also wanted to write a book so that I could
help others who might have gone through some of the things that
I have. I am trying very hard to just make it one day at a time
and feel good slowly and live my life for now and forget about
the past if that is at all possible.
@mariposaman (2959)
• Canada
17 Feb 09
I think you have things understood as to what is happening to your life and what you want out of it. Even when the wounds heal there can be scars left behing. I see you have religion which helps. The way I deal with it is does not last a long time, just a day or so, and it is like a passing cloud. If it was constant I do not know what I would do. I hate medication and was addicted to valium at one time so want to stay away from medication if I can, I did not tolerate that very well, it helped but then became a problem in of itself.
I would suggest you go through with writing the book and solicit help as that will give you more motivation. It might be cathartic but at least might give you some insight and rest some demons that might be wriggling under the surface.
@ericluckychan (50)
• China
17 Feb 09
hi, every problem has its cause,we should get to the bottom of the problem, find out the undoing, take effective measures solve it, sounds it is a bit abstract,
@danishcanadian (28953)
• Canada
17 Feb 09
It's easy to let depression and other negative things control a person, but in the end it's not worthit. I'm way too stubborn to let things like that control me. When I start feeling like that, I need to dive in and take control of it before it takes control of me.
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
17 Feb 09
I have gone through a very difficult time in my life as well. I know as hard as I try it seems my mind has scars on it. I didn't go through the rape as you had, that would be awful. I like your approach of dealing with the issues by talking to someone and if you feel comfortable with talking to someone definitely that would be wonderful. I joined a church here in town and already knowing this small town is so full of gossip and whatever else I should have known better than to think that was my answer. I stuck with the church for a long time always feeling good about my faith but uncomfortable with the people. I just didn't have the trust in the people so I asked that they find someone else to do the books. I was their book keeper, secretary and treasurer so someone else did take over, it was then the pastor started spending too much time here. I also wasn't impressed when he was talking to my husband a couple times he swore. Not the F word or anything but for example one day my husband said, "I sure have to get it together and clean up the yard." The pastor replied, "Yes I need to get my s--t together too." Right there I'm not impressed. Finally this one day my daughter came for a visit and she had both kids with her. The kids were tired and I asked my grandson to come have a nap with Grandma so he did, my daughter went in the other bedroom and got my little granddaughter settled down to nap. The kids were only asleep probably 10 minutes when the pastor was ringing the door bell. My little watch dog started barking and both kids were awake. Next morning I wasn't even dressed yet and the pastor comes back again. I answered the door in my PJ's of course and that was breaking point for me. I asked him, "What are you looking for? Why are you here every day?" All he said was, "Oh I don't know." I nicely told him enough was enough and no need to be ringing my door every day. I won't give up my faith but I don't need to go to church and put on a face to please anyone there. I've had some pretty lousy luck at trying to trust. If you ever get the book wrote please let me know. Thanks
@celebratelifeh (1142)
• China
17 Feb 09
well..i always tell myslfe don't let my mood out of my control and don't affected by somebody who carry with depression to me. but sometimes my attitude can't work and my good mood destroied by others soonly and even i can be more angry than them . big despression surrounded me and make me can't eat good, sleep good. oh. what a bad thing it is. however i will always try to educate myslfe to be a cool one and .ah...
@wolflover (1)
• United States
17 Feb 09
I myself having delt with Depression after my thrid son was born with a heart defect and no help from my second wife. I basicly battled this for 5 years by myself and got my life back on track thank God I barely managed to save my Military career.this was from 1997 to 2001.
I retired from the Military July 2006 Reserves in early 2008 I was told I had a seizure disorder could not dive,work, or play sports. Then Bad went to worse PTSD had set in from being in Iraq the meds they put me on was not the best of for some one with anger issues and caused a sever loss of the short term memory but great for weight loss and migraines.During all of this I took coustdy of my youngest son my Wife now had to Quit school and go back to work while the VA Hospital helps me and GOD put my head back togather and divorced my second wife for several reasons but abuse to him the son I took from her was the main cause. They are now slowly taking me off Topamax and putting me on DepaKote the seizures and migranes are back as expected but not as bad but no Depression mostly due to a great support line which is needed at times like this not just Family but Friends, Pastors, Doctors, and just beliveing in your self life can and will get better and I for one will not go down with out a fight. TO ALL VETS PAST AND PRESENT THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU HAVE DONE. FOR THOSE STILL SERVERING CARE ON. SSGT J Brister
