She is in a relationship but not satisfied,would you believe and still date her?
By ronnyb
@ronnyb (6113)
Jamaica
February 17, 2009 12:29pm CST
Disclaimer : I have never dated a married women for what that is worth.
Lately I have been meeting a lot of women who are in relationship but not satisfied or so they say. Now I am no angel and I have tried a few time to be with such women but I am always doubtful of this statement because I cant help but wonder why would anyone be in a relationship that they don’t want .However some of my friend have been encouraging me that sometimes women are in a relationship and are looking for something else and that I should still make a play for them. I have tried but it usually ends in disaster as I cant bare to know that I am second in any relationship ,so I usually walk away prematurely. Furthermore I am of the view that if she wants to be in a relationship with me then she will similarly do the same to me
Now my question is for both sexes ,are women just exploring while in relationships and this one is for the men - are you meeting many such women too. And do you believe that such women are just promiscuous or genuine ?
11 people like this
29 responses
@cyberfluf (4996)
• Netherlands
17 Feb 09
I believe there are different reasons why woman show such behaviour:
1) They are scared to end the relationship, yet unfullfilled so they go around it sneaky not alarming their partner
2) They are playing their partner, they don't care and they will play you too
3) She is seriously looking for someone new and will end the relationship sometime soon, she is trying to build up the strenght to do so (meeting new man might be one of their ways to do so?)
Either way, I think it's wrong. Once you are dating and/or seeing other people your partner has a right to know. As long as you are together, fullfilled or not, you got to stay faithfull or at least on the terms you agree on (some people are very loose with this). Once you go around someones back something is wrong.
@ronnyb (6113)
• Jamaica
20 Feb 09
Wow another great answer .All the points you have mentioned are valid .I am usually scared of the first two and those are the ones that make me insecure and most ready to end the relationship quickly.However there are times whenI am wondering if I shouldnt give it time and see if point three applies.
I agree with you though that it is wrong and peopel should be honest enough to tell the person they are with that it is not working out and they will have to end it soon.Tahnks for your answer
1 person likes this
@cyberfluf (4996)
• Netherlands
20 Feb 09
You are very welcome. I think it's a very interesting topic, and because both sexes are involved it is nice to receive answers from both sexes and compare their points of view. I think it can indeed give us some great new insights.
Thank you for your kind counter response!
@tepitenio (119)
• Israel
17 Feb 09
I think its not worth it on the long run. I mean, always the new and unexplored sounds better, but its because you dont know the bad things yet.
2 people like this
@nengs10 (3180)
• Philippines
18 Feb 09
I don't have anything against these women. I respect their decision of dating other guys though they are in a relationship. But as for me, I never dated anyone who's in a relationship whether or not she is happy with the said affair. Happy posting.
1 person likes this
@ronnyb (6113)
• Jamaica
18 Feb 09
I dont have anything against them ,in fact I respect them for being honest in thier intentions right from the onset .And I am sure there are many men who would be allright with this situation as they dont have to commit to these women.These men can always argue that since the women are already in a relationship then they (the men ) can be free to explore other relationships and they have no financial responsibilty for these women.I am however never comfortable being second best to some other man....must be my ego.Thank you for your answer
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
17 Feb 09
believe me ronnyb u don't want to get involved w/a married person. u are just asking for a broken heart.
@ronnyb (6113)
• Jamaica
18 Feb 09
I know and I would never get involved with a married person.I have been pursued by a married woman before and I didnt even give in.However I seem to be seeing a lot of women who are already in relationships and I am not sure that I can deal with that .I have tried but I always leave them ,its too overbearing.
@spalladino (17891)
• United States
17 Feb 09
If you meet someone who is not being faithful to her partner, how can you expect her to be faithful to you if you end up in a relationship with her? It's not okay to explore other options if you're in a committed relationship. If you're unhappy then the mature and honest thing to do is to end it and then go looking for someone else. It's not like there's a shortage of partners in this world. You have to look at the character of anyone you have an interest in because you are going to be dealing with that person's character if you get into a relationship with that person and trust is very important.
1 person likes this
@ronnyb (6113)
• Jamaica
20 Feb 09
Yes taht always worries me too in situations like these and I have often mentioned it to my friends who encourage me to take up such options that I cannot be comfortable with such persons as I dont know when they will do the same to me.I agree with you if you are unhappy be honest and tell the person.The person could be feeling the same way and is just mindful of your feelings and you could have easily created a happier scenario for both concerned..Thanks for your answer
@rmuxagirl (7548)
• United States
17 Feb 09
I couldn't imagine "exploring" while in a relationship. I went out as friends with guys and got to know them by talking as friends. That's how I got to know my current boyfriend, we went out as friends with other friends and I talked to him while at work, then after things ended with my ex i waited a little while before I started dating him.
1 person likes this
@trixyteddy (1070)
• India
17 Feb 09
All I can say is the whole situation is wrong. If you read the Bible, you would know that it is a sin to live like this
1 person likes this
@marty3888 (2355)
• Acme, Michigan
17 Feb 09
Well right now I am in a stable relationship and have been for 7 years. But I can tell you good or bad, I never went after anyone that was already in a relationship. If she is unhappy, she should break it off, then she's not in a relationship. Anyone can be unhappy in a relationship at any time, but there is always the possibility of them working it out. If there was no possibility and she was interested in you she would break it off so she could pursue a relationship with you - if that's what she wants.
1 person likes this
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
10 Mar 09
As I see it there are two ways to take the statement that a woman is unsatisfied with the relationship she is in. either she wants to stay in it and have you on the side . Or she is thinking of leaving the relationship.I know many reasons why a woman would stay in a unsatisfied relationship. one is the belief there is no divorce. Once you are married, you are married for life. that's how I feel but then again, I would expect both my husband and ime to have favorites. Otr for some reason , she can't afford to leave. Or to keep her children. If she leaves , she would lose her children. Or if she leaves the children will lose the connection to their father. You are correvt to assume if a woman in a realtionship wants you while she is still with her steady, that she wil do the same to you if you hecame her steady.
@umart13 (841)
• Ireland
8 Mar 09
Hi ronnyb, I have also dated women who are in relationships. Looking back on many of those dates now, I think that I was kidding myself. Very often these girls were looking for some amusement in their lives and would flirt with you up to a ceratin point, before running home to the security of their long-term relationship with their boyfriends. It's distracting when the girls are good-looking and excited, but realistically it's just time wasting and it's not honest. You end up being the loser, as you could have been investing the time in finding the right person...Have a good week. Umart
@Jenaisle (14078)
• Philippines
18 Feb 09
It would be unfair to stereotype and to categorize. If there are women who are looking for more, then perhaps they're not serious with the first one , or they are still in the process of choosing who to go steady with; or she may have broken upo with the previous one and is trying to forget, or she just wants some time off. Either men or women should stick to one if the they consider the relationship precious to them. If you value a person and love him/her, then you have to prioritize your relationship. No one wants to be second best. Cheers and happy mylotting.
@greeneyedlady (1439)
• Netherlands
20 Feb 09
Every woman, just like every man, is different, and they get involved in another relationship for many different reasons.
They may be exploring sometimes or they very well may be unhappy, of course if I was unhappy in a relationship then I would just leave as I am not going to live with someone that makes me unhappy...life if too short!
Regardless of why women pursue another relationship, I would say to stay well away from them as they may just be playing games and you may end up being hurt and/or used. ;)
@allentcl82 (590)
• Singapore
18 Feb 09
I believe that im in no position to say that such women are just promiscuous, or genuine. Different women in such situation may have a different story to tell behind. You will never know that who are telling the truth, who are lying to you.
The best advice that i can give is to go according to your feeling.
However, if possible, do avoid these women, you will never know what a jealous husband will do if he managed to find out, never encourage or hint adultery to these ladies, you are just spoiling other people marriage, if you do..
If the lady cant stand their relationship, only be involved in one, only if they end their previous relationship..
@ronnyb (6113)
• Jamaica
18 Feb 09
Fair enough you wouldnt know how genuine they are .Also I suppose it is an individual situation ,some are really in a bad situation and are looking for better.The truth be told I have never dated a married woman butthen again how do I know if they arent lying .I am really trying to avoid them though its just that a lot of them make it look like they are about to leave their relationship as it i snot working and then there are others who tell you after you have developed an attraction for them
@rogue13xmen13 (14402)
• United States
18 Feb 09
ronnyb, this is not uncommon. I know a woman who is married, but in the middle of getting a divorce, and she had a small affair with a man who was also in the middle of a divorce, and she was incredibly unhappy in her marriage, we could all see it. None of us judge her because we know her husband and he is an a**hole. He treats his wife like dirt. He treats their son like dirt as well, and don't even get me started on how he treats their daughter. It did not shock any of us when she began having the affair because she was not getting what she wanted from her husband. She tried separating from her husband before, but he would verbally abuse her and do what it took to make it so that she could not leave.
@brew2x (3094)
• Philippines
18 Feb 09
I think some women are really like that and also some men. It depends I guess in one's personality. I'm a girl but I won't go out on a date If I'm not satisfied with my relationship. I will try to make it work first. If I will going to go out with other guys for that reason then I'm just making the matters worse.
@mermaidivy (15394)
• United States
18 Feb 09
Women is like chidren. When they are unhappy, they want to talk to somebody to express, it's like if you talk to her, they feel better. but it doesn't necessarily mean they are not satisfied in the relationship. Guys are tough, they don't care those little stuff.
@zandy985186 (434)
• China
18 Feb 09
I don't like the persons who dates other when he is in a relationship.Because i think he is not a responsible person.
@lorraine27 (271)
•
18 Feb 09
i cant really see my self dating someone who is married or married with kids. knowing that am getting in the way of what may of been a happy married befour i came a long. i myself am mairred and have found otheir men to be attactive but that is how far i go, sometime i do feel unhappy with the way things may be going. however this is just something that will pass
@arclite123 (7)
• India
18 Feb 09
no at the instant i com to know that she is in another relationship i wud stop..
