Am I breaking one of the 10 commandments ?

Well, the transitive verb definition of "honor" is "to regard or treat with honor or respect", the noun definition is, "a showing of usually merited respect" Your parents may not merit your respect, but the commandment still requires that you "regard or treat" with "honor or respect". Take note of the "or" in both parts of the definition. These mean that you may only regard them with "honor or respect", without having to treat them so. Consider it this way: they raised you a certain way, and you turned out fine. If that does not merit your respect, consider that they always had the option of abortion, which would have undoubtedly saved them a great deal of money. As you can see, just raising a child, regardless of the way the child is treated, is a grand endeavor, and just because it is done commonly doesn't mean it doesn't merit respect. If you can honor your parents for all the tings they did instead of dismissing everything except for the abuse, perhaps you will learn to respect them. Which means you will not be in violation of the commandment. Alternatively you could stop following rules written by desert herders thousands of years ago, and do whatever feels right.

I am all for honoring and respecting Mom and Dad so don't get me wrong. I don't believe that commandment was talking about Mom and Dad. I say this because of something Jesus said in the New Testament. Jesus also said we were to honor our father and mother. Then He made the statement that we are not to call any man on this earth Father. He said only one is our Father and that is God in heaven. I don't believe Jesus would tell us to not do something and then turn around and do it Himself. I just don't believe it. I believe the Father and Mother they speak of is God our Father and the earth is our mother. Mother Earth. Remember God was the father of Adam but the Earth was his mother because Adam was made of clay. In the case of Jesus, God was his Father and Mary was his mother. Think about it and read it in the New Testament. I think you will see what I mean. Art

Personally I don't think that you are breaking one of the ten commandments. The fact that you don't have a good relationship with them is that they have invested in you when you was ayound child. "They have abused me and wrote me out of their lives long ago"... It is sad to hear tha tyou have fallen out with them. Can you patch up things in some way or another. It might not be the best relationship on earth but can you make a small step in their direction?

Honoring your Mother and Father means that you should never do anything to dishonor them. You must never speak ill of them in public. You must never strike them. You must obey them until majority in all things and then after that, you must listen to them in things religious. The exception would be if they told you to do something that was wrong or evil or against the law. In public, you should show deference to them. It does not say that you must take your children to them if you fear that they will be harmed. If there is no fear of abuse you should at least let them meet the children, but not leave them in their care. If a serious problem arises, that should be the end of it. You at least tried. If you do not do this, your children may hold it against you someday. Shalom~Adoniah

yah..in our Islamic thoughts,its the same directory but its true sometimes not possible. but we learnt from the steps of our life that we r to synchronize all critical matters & thats y,u could at least say..."hello my papa/mamma,how r u?" i guess,u'll do a lot by it..

I hope this helps. Matthew 5:44 says "...but it is written: love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you..."My opinion is that if you feel like you do not want your parents to be a part of your children's lives because of your experience, that's fine. Makes sense. Why would you want to bring into your OWN family a part of your past that did such horrible things to you as the child? But continue to pray for them. And be prepared to explain to your children why they don't ever see grand pa or grand ma. Perhaps one day the burden can be lifted both both sides and you can rejoice in your father and mother and vice versa with no anger or animosity.

If they are not showing interest in wanting to be in your kids lives then I say let it be. It is their loss. i would feel like I am forcing them if I made the first move in this type of situation.

I am by no means an expert on the subject but from what I've read is that, as an adult, you are to put your husband and children first now. You should be able to raise your family in a peaceful, loving environment. I don't see where you are breaking any of the commandments. Forgiving doesn't always mean that you continue to allow people to hurt you or your family.

In letters, you may be violating the ten commandments but you have every reason to do that. How can you honor your parents if they themselves have done a capital woring to you? That would be wrong itself.

Well the bible says Honor thy mother and father. It also says fathers do not provoke your children to wrath. What I would encourage you to do is send your children to look for their grandparents. The woes you have with them should not be carried over to your children. Forgive them and talk with them don't entertained malice. When you say that you forgive you speak and do the things that you know is right. All the best Kerry

personally, i doon't think you are doing anything wrong. You are protecting your children from going through what you did.

As long as you do your part in seeing that your parents are being cared for (food, water, living quarters, medical attention, clothing, etc.) I don't think you're breaking the "honor your father and mother" commandment.

If they haven't tried to contact you it's not your fault, and it's not like you told them they couldn't go anywhere near your children. Personally, if I had gone through all the things you have, I wouldn't want to have anything to do with my parents, I think you are treating them with more respect than they deserve. Also, if you went to the trouble of posting a discussion on mylot because of your worries, I think God will see that you really care and he'll forgive you. Not that you did anything wrong in the first place but you know what I mean :)

I do not believe that you are breaking the commandment that says to "honor your mother and your father." The reason is because God sees what you have been through with your parents. He knows that you have had a hard childhood and He also sees that you have forgiven them for it. We as human beings cannot "honor" someone if they do not show us a reason to give them "honor".

10 commandments is not word-for-word law. but rather, it has a PRINCIPLE. LOVING GOD with all your heart/soul, and LOVING FELLOW as yourself. If you love others (including your parents, or enemies) like you love yourself, then you keep the law. Even thought, your love can not change them (your parents, or other enemies).

As human, I understand how you feel when your parents abused you as what you said. But even if how bad parents are, they are still our parents. We can escape from their ill treatment by maybe not living with them but we should still honor them as our parents. Just pray about it and the Lord will let them realize that what they did is not right. God will give them the right treatment..

Hey there.... since u and ur mom n dad dont have any relation between you so they dont have the right to interfere with ur life and as well as your children's life.....and also in my opinion they should be treaed just like strangers....and you kno what people hav a habit of finding out flaws in others and seeing the wrong things that others do....but they dont know how much wrong they are from the inside....i think you should just ignore the comments of your sisters coz they'll never stop commenting....just carry on the way it is going and if you feel that ur parents dont deserve to see their grandchildren after what all they did to you then let it be that way....

Spangles- I would say that you aren't breaking any commandments. The fact is is that your parents did not care for you the way they should have and have done you harm in the past. You have no way of knowing if they would hurt you or your kids again. So I think protecting yourself from harm does not count. Be safe, happy and do whatever you need to do to protect yourself and your kids.

Luke 6:37, Forgive and you will be forgiven. Even if you said that long time ago you have forgiven your parents on their wrong doings, it will be better to show this to them. It is true that one of the commandments of God is to Honor your father and your mother. No matter how wrongfully they have done to you, if they persecute you, but still you have to show love to them. Galatians 6:9 tells us "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." You will just be a hypocrite saying i forgive you, i forgive them, but where is the love, did you show them that you have actually forgiven them? it will be hard i know, but this is what God commanded us to do.

No I don't feel that you are breaking one of the 10 commandments. It is wonderful that you have forgiven them for things they have done to you. That takes a really stong person to be able to put that behind them. I understand 100% of why you would not want them in your family's life. Hang in there. It sounds as if you have everyone's best interest at heart.