would you start a family even if you can't afford it?

I started mine before I should have and I wouldn't wish that road on anyone. But I still tried my best to what I could to look out for their future. If everyone waited till they could "afford" children... no one have kids. It won't happen. too many people don't or can't afford the pervention. (heavy on the won't)

the thing is if you wait til you can afford to have a family, then you will never have kids, but seriously, it takes a lot of planning to have kids and the thing is, you need to have some money behind you when you have kids, they are so expensive!!

This is a hard one, I have known of people to say they will wait to have a child until they can afford and then never be in the position of affording. I was 17 when I found out I was pregnant, I had nothing but I managed and my child never really suffered he is 17 now and is due to go in the RAF, he works part time and has never really gone without anything.

I don't think I would try to start a family if I knew I couldn't afford to take care of it, if I'm barely taking care of myself. I do think its irresponsible to have a baby you can't take care of, thats why we've got so many children in foster homes today waiting to be adopted because the parents couldn't take care of them so somebody else has to. I don't think its the child's fault, but I think people should be more mature when it comes to having kids, and making sure they are financially stable first. I don't think its alright to have a baby if you don't have the money to provide for it, a baby needs more than just love to survive in this world. I would wait till I was ready to have a baby, and was able to raise it and take care of it like I should first.

WHen I had my first child, I was not financially stable at all, but I would have never thought about giving him up. I felt that I got pregnant, now, I had to take care of him. I don't think that money creates a good parent. I also think that for many people, when they have a baby before they are really ready,they often times grow up and get responsible pretty fast. It would have been nice to have been more financially stable when I had my kids, but to be honest, I feel that I had them all at the right times in my life, no matter what my financials were at that time. I don't think I would have purposely gotten pregnant with any of my kids when I got pregnant. They were all surprises. I think that before a woman gets pregnant intentionally, she really needs to think it over and make sure she can provide for that child.

hello there. Good day to you. I wouldn't even dare to start a family If I cannot do my responsibilities. No matter how much you love your baby but if you cannot give him/her what he deserves in life then it is really useless. You should give the baby his/her needs because that's the true essence of love that you can give to to him/her. Having a family is one of the greatest things in life. You need to take care of it, handle it with care, and everything. Family is not just a thing/term that you can play of, it is a decision to make that will inspire you to do better with your life. Better love yourself first before starting a family.

I think you dont have to postpone marriage or the natural effort to have a family merely on grounds that you have nothing to support your family. Life is a struggle, and anybody living will always try to stay alive and survive. Frankly when I married, i didnt have much and me and my family have survived to this day.

[i]Hi alma, I will not start a family when I am not financially and emotionally ready. It will be a great risk for me and my future family. It is unfair to have kids once we know we can't support them and provide them their basic needs.[/i]

I will wait a few years from now. I can't afford to have a child and would never have one if I couldn't afford it. I don't like that many people have children, can't afford it, and then live off the government and our tax dollars

I have been in this situation before. My husband was working a really good job. We had planned our one child. Then he became ill and could not work anymore. Then we found out that we were going to have another baby. It was not planned as I was on the pill. But we had her and we do not have alot of money. We deal with it every day. We have a total of 8 kids between us. We love them all. But my clock is ticking and I would love to have another baby, but I just can not bring myself to have another at this point and time. So no I would not.

Alma- I saw this thread yesterday but I wanted time to give it some thought. I've heard this argument before and I have to admit it is one that still bothers me, for many reasons. This type of question is a judgement on who is "wealthy" enough to have children, and those who shouldn't have children. It amazes me that though people in the United States often complain about the harsh climate of China's laws on having children they are the first ones to say that anyone who is on medicaid, foodstamps, or WIC should not have children. I believe that parents who really want a child should have a child regardless of where they are in life. Saying that someone should wait until they have that perfect job, be out of college is not the thing that should be the deciding factor. In the United States we have free education grades K-12, so every child has the ability to be educated. I believe in socialized medicine and I wish we had it here but we do have medicaid. So, a poor family can get help with that. I do not feel it is wrong that someone may need these services. Why should they be denied the pleasure of a child? And what is so darn bad about having a community that helps? I find it incredibly selfish of others who say that they deserve a child because they are rich, but the poor man working for them should not know the pleasure of parenthood because they are poor. In my first marriage I was 18 when I married. I at times was on medicaid, at other times had insurance through my work. I don't consider myself a poor parent at all, I did what was needed. The four oldest ones value education even though they had a public education. They are all looking at college, and though they currently reside with their father they are all still honor roll students, and doing a variety of community and extra curricular activities. My current husband and I are on a single income by choice. I chose to stay at home and parent my children. I plan to return to the classroom in the next year or so but being at home does not mean I'm not able to provide. Sure, we cut back just like every other human being in America during this time period, but just because we were on one income did not cause me to have thoughts of abortion when we found out we were expecting another child. I think that it is very difficult to answer just what dictates these standards of life you brought up. It's very much based upon one's own perspective of what they feel is a good education, proper healthcare, good shelter, and enough food. I hope this makes sense. Namaste-Anora

I think it is an irresponsible act to get married when you don't think you are able earn your bread, let alone having baby. Now I am still single because I don't have a decent job. I am not financially secure. once you decide to start a family, you take up a great responsibility. you have to give the best to your better half. you have to give the best to your children. how can you give them to best if you don't have enough money? if you can just manage to meet ends every money and you choose to start a family, you are selfish.

Yes I think it is irresponsible to have a baby and not be able to give it an education ,good healthcare,a good shelter .... So I think I would't star a family when I can't afford it. Even if I had my fist child, I was not finacially stable at all ,I can't give him enough food ... I think I will giving him up.

If your financial situation is extremely bad it may not be the best idea to bring another member into the family. But, no one is ever truly "financially" ready to be a parent. The most important thing is if you are emotionally ready to accept the stresses that do come being a parent. So many people want babies, but do not realize that it is a life time committment when they do it. It is a 24 hour job that doesn't go away and no child should be brought into a home that is not emotionally stable to accept the changes that will occur, even if they have a ton of money! There are way too many people out there that are desiring to have a child to love that can't have them. While there are others that may be "financially" ready to bring a child into their home, but do not have the love to be there for that child no matter what.

For me, one of the main considerations that I think is important before starting a family is being financially capable to support a family. Children are expensive. I don't want to start a family and then not be able to support myself, my partner and my child or children simply because I didn't think about how much money I have and how much money it takes to support a family. I think it's really irresponsible to start a family when you know you really cannot support the children.

No. Regardless that I don't really -want- to -have- children, I would not knowingly create a family for a selfish desire knowing tat I could not provide them with everything they deserve and need. It IS irresponsible, and that's one thing at least I am not. Others before myself, that's what I strive to do. It wouldn't make sense for me to get a baby JUST CAUSE knowing full well that I wouldn't be able to provide much of anything for it.

Actually this is why so many ppl end up on Welfare and are stuck there is b/c they get pregnant without thinking that it actually costs money to have kids. Even if they get a job, they still have to pay for a sitter. Babies are cute and cuddly and all that but your probably going to enjoy that baby alot more if your not worrying about how your going to afford diapers or how your going to feed it. Back years ago it was traditional to get married, get on your feet and then start a family. Before that most men wouldn't look at marriage until they were established and had a home and lifestyle to present their bride with, that's why it wasn't surprising to see a 40 year old man marrying a 20 year old woman. These days ppl have kids right and left. Some don't even know who the fathers are, where they are or anything about them. Some get on Welfare and that's where they stay. [b]**AT PEACE WITHIN** ~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~[/b]

For me no bec it's hard!Life today is so hard,you have to be in a stable job!

hi doc_alma_jones, I do not have yet a family of my own but me and my boyfriend is planning on it for our future.We know the responsibilities of making a family. We both know how hard it is especially if you have already kids.And because of that, I think that we will never start a family of our own unless we have some savings for it.My boyfriend and I both wants to marry but because of financial crisis, we cannot afford it as of now.We both decided to just wait and concentrate first on our career before deciding to marry. As of now, he is working so hard. I am just a fresh graduate and currently looking also for a job as a teacher.We are going to wait for two years. I just have to wait for my youngest sister to finish her study for two years. I want to help her first before settling down in marriage so after me, she can help our parents also.We have so many plans and as of now, what we are just going to do is to wait. Maybe, after our wedding, we will still not decide for a baby immediately. We just have to make sure that we are financially stable. And if there is stability in financial, then I think we can prepare for having kids. I think, it is better to think weather we can take care of the child financially, morally, intellectually and emotionally first before we decided to have kids.So, after that, we can say that we have raise a responsible individual.

to be honest, I am one of those people who opts to wait to be able to afford starting a family. me and my fiance talked about it and we decided to wait for just about a year before we start having kids, just so we could be sure that we could provide for them. as much as I would want to say that love is the answer to everything, at this day and age, I choose to be more practical and realistic.