what is the one thing that you just cannot tolerate in a relationship?

i cannot tolerate mean guys and mean who abuse me,I'm OK with them cheating,i can even cope with lying,but some guy is just abusive and humiliated,it's inexcusible and intolerable.

I agree with you. Trust is the more important thing in a relationship. Love alone won't get you far if you don't trust your partner. I abhor lying and abuse but my pet hate is not listening. If my partner is not prepared to listen to me, I take as a personal insult; if he is not interested in what I have to say, he is not interested in me.

Gosh, so many to choose from! lol There are at least three things I cannot stand in any relationship and they are: dishonesty, disrespect and meanness. Any of those three and I am turned off for good. All of those and I run a mile. A relationship would have no chance with those kind of toxic attributes within them. However, if I had to narrow it down to just one, it would have to be meanness. This is because with dishonesty and disrespect one can be taught to behave otherwise; there is always a reason behind such actions which good communication can help to sort out. But meanness is something deep within a person, based on fear and caused by a personal lack of affirmation, reinforcement and value. It is also often a desire to control others. Once a guy was chatting me up and I asked him if he would get married again. No, he said, mainly because he did not want the money he is leaving his sons to be shared three ways to include any new partner, only two ways for his sons. I thought what a sad guy this was that his meanness, especially in focusing only on his money, had blinded him to the fact that the new woman in his life might even be bringing her own money to supplement what he had, she wouldn't just be a taker! But that's what happens when we're mean in spirit, we see the world as taking instead of giving. I would give my life for the people I care about so meanness chills my soul. I find that people who are mean with material things are also mean with themselves, mean with their love and mean in spirit - and vice versa. They give very little to others but usually expect a lot in return, especially emotionally. It is difficult to share when one is mean, yet life and everything in it is about SHARING, connecting with others and enjoying the benefits of interaction. People who are mean tend to be very insecure and untrusting, as they have to protect everything to feel better. Mean people seldom seem to enjoy life, to be spontaneous or to take life as it comes. They are always fretting and worrying. Yet constant worry mainly brings stress, and ages you rapidly, nothing else. Above all, a mean person does not see the value of anything, only the cost. Yet it is the value we get in return that dictates whether anything, or anyone, is worth having. That man could only see his money being shared among more people. He couldn't see the love, the joy, companionship and care he would get from a new woman at this stage in his life. Suddenly, he was not so attractive to me and I went right off him! I do tend to keep away from mean people, the ones who spend time watching their possessions while there's very little connected to their hearts. I remind myself that if they are so mean with themselves, they will hardly care about me either.

Same as you lies, I really do not see why they have to lie they dont need too but they do. My hubby is so guilty of lying and that used to hurt me more than the reason he was actually lying for. I told him, why not just tell me the truth instead of lying and hurting me more.

Dishonesty!! That is my biggest problem. I would rather have the truth, even if I hate it, than be lied to. I have no respect for liars.

I am agree with you .I hate people lying.I think honesty is the most important character a friend should have.

i think for me is lying i have to be able to trust my mate i can,t be with him 24-7 so lying wouldn,t help our relationship at all.stealing is another i can,t be with a mate that steals.another is staying out all night long.these things cannot be tolerated.

hi maanrodriguez :) and othe co-myLotters :) am blessed that God gave me a partner who's the one that bears my attitudes (lucky me LOL) hehe ...i have nothing to say bad things about my hubby/dada... i mean we have indiffirences and discussing it over will result of understanding and smooth sailing of the relationship but for me it's not a big deal for him but for me (least part and i know he can change that :D) what i can't tolerate is that once twice of telling things is enough i don't know i think he has an amnesia hehe :D..just kidding :P but as a whole i think: cheating and lying gggrrrrr what else making promises that after he's breaking his own promises something like that :D but this is not a real big deal :D Godabless!0=)

dishonesty is what i can't stand with my partner in a relationship. it is too much for me. how can i trust someone if she is not telling the truth? what will be the basis of our foundation if it is founded on lies? but this also goes to me. so i set an example so that my partner will also do the same to me. lies beget lies.

I can't tolerate abuse, lies and other bad things in a relationship.. good thing, my hubby's one good partner.. hubby doesn't drink nor smoke, doesn't go out with friends(gimmick), doesn't hurt me, etc.. i'm very blessed to have a wonderful partner like him.. i couldn't ask for more..

Hello maanrodriguez! Like you, I don't tolerate lies and cheats. I can't live with a man who is a lier because I know I can't trust him. I would always suspect and our relationship wouldn't be harmonious then. If the person is lier, there is a possibility that he would cheat so I wouldn't want to be with that person aside from I can't kiss a person who kiss other girl while he is away and then kiss me when he gets home. That sounds gross.

I also don't tolerate lies especially cheating. I want a man who will prioritize me. I also don't tolerate my man to smoke and drink because his health is not good.

I am very possessive kind of person and i wont be able to stand if my girldfriend is talking to another guy in my absense or by hinding me. Also i cant stand lies. I always prefer saying truth and expect same from my partner. Apart from this, trust is the most imp factor.

Cheating/Polygamy - I can't live with that. It should not be tolerated. A good woman deserves to be loved and cherished. I want to be just the only one.

Great post. I agree with you , I don't tolerate liars either.I think the main reason partners are upset about cheating is because of all the lies that the other person Had to tell, What I can't tolerate is physical And emotional abuse.No one has the right to hit me. And i won' y stand for emotional abuse either,

wow maanrodriguez that's a tough one not to tolerate. In my opinion everybody lies sometimes. I hope you are able to find the honest man that you seek. My answer is that I can't tolerate being repeatedly belittled, or put down. I hate being made to feel stupid or worthless. That is something that I couldn't handle.

Hi there maanrodriguez! I can't and will NEVER tolerate lying. Just like you, I am not the high maintenance kind of girlfriend. Moreover, I am very honest to my partner so that is also one thing that I expect from my partner.

Lies. I cannot and will not tolerate dishonesty. Because the dishonesty is the root of all the other things that can make a relationship go bad. I am in total agreement with you. There is no reason not to be honest about and in a relationship.

Me too, lies is something that is a big no to me. I'm an honest person. I say what I want to say and that's it. If I don't love my my girlfriend anymore i will tell her frankly about my feelings. I don't screw around and keep it a secret. Just not me.

I hate lies also, and my boyfriend is a compulsive lier!! I hate that! He lies about any and everything!! But it's not big lies, it's little lies! I know he never cheated on me. But he lies about little stuff!! like when my phone bill came there was his friends number there lots of times when I asked him about it he said he didn't use my phone! then he said he was going to pay my light bill, he took the bill and never gave it back, when I asked him if he paid the bill he said yes a week later I washed his pants and the bill was there in his pocket and he didn't pay for it. One day my cell phone disappeared, I asked him if he seen it he said no, then I found out he gave my cell phone to one of his friends!! then when I asked him about it he said he only did that because I wasn't using it!! and so many other things he does that aggravates me so much!! I asked him to stop lying but he can't!! it's like a natural thing for him!!