Anybody have any tips on raising a child with ADHD?
By taterkitty
@taterkitty (45)
United States
February 20, 2009 7:06am CST
Hi everybody! I'm hoping that some of you other parents out there can give me some tips. My soon to be 12yr old was diagnosed with ADHD 3yrs ago and has been on medication since then. The medicine does help her but she still has an "If I don't want to do it, I don't have to" attitude. Since being on her meds she has significantly raised her grades but I know she can do better because a lot of times she doesn't turn in her classwork because she doesn't want to do it. She also doesn't care about her appearance either. We've had many arguments because she was trying to leave the house in dirty clothes and unbrushed hair and teeth!!! Also, does anyone have any tips on how to deal with the school? Apparently the staff at her school is not properly trained on how to deal with an ADHD child so she is constantly getting detention or ISS. They have basically labeled her a troublemaker and now if she so much as giggles they send her to the office. I've talked to the school til I'm blue in the face but nothing ever changes. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
1 person likes this
6 responses
@alharra (507)
• United States
21 Feb 09
One question: when was the last time her medicine dosage was adjusted? I have three kids with ADD/ADHD and for two of them we have to adjust their meds once or twice a year depending on how much they have grown. Also is she taking an anti-depressant too? Many kids with this condition do- if your daughter is not it may be time to consider it. And finally- some of this may simply be hormones she is 12 after all.
1 person likes this
@taterkitty (45)
• United States
22 Feb 09
He meds were adjusted in December. She also takes another med at night to help her sleep but no anti-depressant.
@alharra (507)
• United States
22 Feb 09
You might want to ask her dr. about an anti-depressant. This is not an easy condition to deal with because there are so many different components to it. Perhaps you could set up some rewards for good grades and doing what you ask her to do without an argument. My oldest failed two classes on her report card this last time- I told her if she would bring those grades up I would take her to get highlights in her hair- just as an example of a reward. Just an idea....
@test2005 (7)
• United States
20 Feb 09
I strongly recommend you go to the library (you probably already have) and get some books on natural treatments and diets particularly for A.D.D. and A.D.H.D. We are what we eat, and food runs our bodies and our minds. Chemicals in food we eat do too. If you can't find anything in your library, check the book store. Another source of help may well be an organic food store. They are a wealth of untapped information.
@LuckyLadyD (359)
• United States
22 Feb 09
My son was diagnosed with ADAD when he was 2 1/2 years old.
I read as much as I could on the subject. I did not put him on medication, nor did I tell him he has the disorder.
I felt like the medication would cause more harm then good, and I didn't want him to use the disability as an excuse.
He too doesn't care much about his appearance, althought I'm not convinced its due to the ADHD.
From what I read, I did change his diet. It took me longer to go shopping, but it was worth it because I couldn't give him anything that contained red dye.
That triggers episodes. I also controlled his sugar, and caffeine intake.
I learned that a hyperactive person response differently to most foods than normal people do. For instance, if caffeine keeps a normal person awake, it makes hyper people sleep. So, when he was hyper I would give him a small piece of chocolate which would calm him down.
ADHD people are very intelligent, but they have trouble concentrating. Try as they might, they can't filter out everything going on around them. This tends to cause them to be very explosive because things seem to be out of their control, and they feel like they aren't able to function normally.
When they have to perform important tasks such as tests, they really do need things to be quiet around them.
The other thing I did was talk to his teachers. At the beginning of each year I would go to back to school night and tell the teachers who my son was. I made them aware of his needs so that they would know what was going on when he would have an episode.
Some teachers know about the disability, others don't. Those that do will immediately acknowledge their observations when you mention the condition.
I'm not entirely sure how to help your child at this point because she already knows she has the condition. It sounds like she's using it for all it's worth.
So, you may have to continue to use medications, but also try to incorporate some of the things I've mentioned.
My son has taken all honors classes through high school, and is waiting to hear what colleges are accepting him. I never thought we would see this day, but it's finally here. And, he still doesn't know he has the condition.
Good luck.
@taterkitty (45)
• United States
22 Feb 09
Thank you so much for your insight. I really appreciate it.
@LuckyLadyD (359)
• United States
23 Feb 09
Hi taterkitty,
I wanted to thank you for selecting my response as your best one to your discussion.
I suppose we all go through tough situations not only to learn from them, but to also be equipped to help others facing similar problems.
I hope all works out for you and your daughter.
Take care....
@beachstarz (1092)
• United States
23 Feb 09
Hi taterkitty, I just wanted to say that everyone here is giving you some very good advice on the matter. My son was diagnosed for ADHD when he was 6 years old .
He is now 30 years old. There were so many nights I cried myself to sleep when he was younger , believe me I know what it's like when you try everything and just don't know where else to turn. I tried the special natural diets, tried keeping behavior records, rewards, & tokens. I tried taking things away from him , grounding him , medications , you name it we did it . I didn't think he would ever make it through high school , or that I would live to see the day anyway .
But he did ! and so did i !
He found that he does well in the service and has been in the Navy, and Army for 11 years now . He plans to retire in the Army. He even spent his time in Iraq with the Marines . ADHD kids are VERY VERY SMART, and they are never boring , lol
They need rules and they need structure . I think that's why the service has been good for my son. I hope you are taking your child to a doctor that knows his stuff when it comes to ADHD. Some doctors like to push pills without putting the child through the right testing . I think there are laws now that schools have to give school tests to ADHD kids as oral tests now , because they do better at oral tests . They know the answers but have trouble getting them on the paper .
Maybe someone else would know more about that law , and could explain it .
Keep strong , and if the father is there , Don't let the childs actions drive you apart! Sometimes these kids like to play the parents against each other .
Don't ever let the child think she has the upper hand. When you say something
mean it. Your child is at a very tough age right now . She is at an age where
she is going to try to push you as far as she can. I remember that age, too well
Another thing we did when ours was that age was we sent him to summer camp
for 2 weeks in the summer. It was 2 weeks away without his medicine .
He did fine ! and we enjoyed the break, lol
You might want to look into summer camps in your area .
Keep him busy, busy makes them tired and tired is a good thing .
Keep strong as parents , and don't give up . She is going to grow into
a fine young lady that you will be proud of .
@NaomiErin (389)
• Philippines
20 Feb 09
Hi taterkitty! I'm not a parent but I want to help you regarding your concern. Here in the Philippines when a kid is diagnosed with ADHD, he is referred to an Occupational therapist. What an occupational therapist do is that they provide activities that manages the behavioral problems of the kid. They also implement behavior modification techniques that can help the kid improve his performance in school and at home. Since your daughter is under medication, it is best that early intervention like the therapy be given to her also. I found a website that describes a few behavior modification techniques I was telling you about.
http://www.webmd.com/add-adhd/guide/adhd-behavioral-techniques
Hope this helps!
@acmj1985 (25)
• United States
24 Feb 09
I'm a mother of two. Neither one of my children have ADHD but I used to take of a little boy that did. The main thing with ADHD is to have PATIENCE!! When you argue it just feeds into what is going on. I know thta's hard to do but just let her do things the way that she needs to do them(to an extent of course). The main thing thta you need to do is provide independence. I don't think that many children with ADHD need the medication but that the doctors need to sit down and explain what ADHD means. Doctors give a diagnosis and walk out like you know everything there is to know about it! It's not just with ADHD either, many parents walk out of the doctors office with a diagnosis even more confused then when they went in. It's pure lazy doctors thta we have to blame for all of this. Good luck with your daughter.
