How Much Do You See Your Grown Children

I saw my older son a week ago, and our younger son two weeks ago. They were coming over today, but both of them have the flu. I do not drive, and my husband had a bad stroke and arthritis so bad that he gave up his driver's license. It will be my birthday on Wednesday, and they will both be working if they are better so might not see them until next Saturday. We do keep in touch over the phone and by email. It is hard for sons to visit. They live near the in-laws and they see them more often. Also the bus route is a little more complicated so it is hard to get there.

Dont have any and glad.

Hi Marylynn321,Yes i have 8 grown children,and only my 7th, child keep up with us .She remember everyone birthdays and ann.holidays.She never ask for anything.But for the rest only time they call is they want something.there are two of them i havent seen or heard from in 4yrs.or more .try to fine them,but couldnt they know where we are.we would love to see and hear from.but i cant and dont know how to help you ,sorry i am in sameboat.if find out how to resolve this or imrove it let me know ok.GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.

I have two grown daughters, and we all stay in touch often. 4 years ago I moved 1600 miles away to another state. Shortly after that my oldest daughter moved to within 350 miles of where I was living. I saw my oldest daughter several times a year, and there were times she would spend up to a month with me and my b/f while her husband was deployed to Iraq. I just moved this past week and for now I'm staying with her. I have only seen my youngest daughter twice in the past 3 years, spent a week in Texas with her in '06 and went down for Christmas '08 for two weeks. But she calls me several times a week just to catch up and see how I'm doing.

Maybe they are "traitor". I was kidding. No, I think that they would like their own space and they all the sudden forgot about their beloved parents at the moment. But for a year, that is a long moment. I knew that every single parent love to see their kids. I still live with my parents. So, I see them everyday. I can't imagine, someday I will move out, and how often I am gonna call them. Or visit them in a year. I hope that I wasn't that busy. Or I wasn't too preoccupied with my wife's family.

Communicate how you feel without sounding pushy or nagging. i know, that sounds a lot easier than it is. I have 4 grown and 1 pre-teen. They all live close by except for 1. The one who doesn't live close by is engaged, living with her boyfriend and I rarely see lately. She ignores her grandparents, her father and only calls me when she needs something. I resent it, I have said something to her and she makes excuses that she is too busy. It hurts and I understand what you are going through. Try talking to them. You can teach respect, sometimes it doesn't show that you did.

I know the feeling. I don't have any children but I do have siblings and they pass right by my house without stopping several times a month and it hurts my feelings that they don't stop in and talk for a visit. I usually don't hear from them unless they call to let me know all the problems they are having or wanting me to do something for them. I have big wide shoulders for any member of my family but I can't really rely on any of them but one. I even at times pause before picking up a call from them thinking what now. it gets that way if they only call wanting you to do stuff. I am hoping that before it is to late your kids will realize that even though they have grown up married and moved in another home that your home will always be open to them and that they are welcome to come when ever they want to get a hug,a shoulder or even a bed if need be before it is to late and then they will live with regrets the rest of their lives with I wish I had and I wish I did..

Hi Mary This is sad! I feel, The children must and should keep in touch with their parents and keep a beautiful relationship. It doesn't have to be help financially but more of emotional care. WE are three sisters. I am single while the other tow are married and settled in other country. But they do visit once in a year and phone every week. They just have to have things told and things listened from my parents. I really appreciate them. I stay with them and many times kinda take them for granted. But I feel its necessary to appreciate their effort to bring us up successfully. I praise my mom with every good dish she experiments or even with the choice of dress she buys for me, even though I do not like it. But that makes a huge difference and trust me I feel so much better myself. Dear Mary, its feels sad to know that there are callous people like that. But I feel, you must engage yourself in beautiful things in life and as your tagline goes, live life to the fullest no matter what. We do not have control over some things in life but we must enjoy those, however little, to the fullest. Hugs to you my sweet, dearie friend.

Oh wow, that is a tough one! It sounds like both of your kids could be a lot more understanding and respectful! I would call them both on the phone and ask if they are ok and the family. And then tell them that you were just thinking that it would be nice to see them since you haven't seen them in xxxx number of months/years. Tell them that you miss them and would like to be a part of their lives and your grandkids' lives. If it doesn't sink in I'd pull the guilt factors out and say something like, well I know you are in the area often. You could stop by every now and then. We won't be around forever you know. I know this sounds mean but they should wake up and think about these things! I have 3 grown daughters. The oldest is married and the twins will be turning 22 in April. Gee, I'm getting old! The married daughter lives about an hour west of me. We see her and the grandson more than seeing all three of them. My daughter will come to visit often on the weekend when her husband is working. This is nice, but we like to see him sometimes too other than holidays. Every now and then we will go visit them. Their apartment is not as big as the house they lived in before they were transferred, so they usually would rather get out. The twins are an hour and half away from the new (old) house in Mississippi. However, since we still have the other house and one of them are still living there, we see her about once a week when we go to check on things and pack and move more stuff. The other twin I see about twice a month. She will come to the house on weekends when we are there cleaning up. She sometimes drops by my work to say hi. This daughter usually calls me every day. She is good about keeping in touch, unlike her twin sister who I always have to track down. I hope you can resolve the matter with your gang and they start coming for visits. Otherwise, I'd be packing up and going to visit them at their house unannounced!

How sad I feel for you. I have a grown son and he calls me every day. He still lives in our town so we have him and his fiancee over for dinner every week. They also invite us over to their house. There may be some Sundays that we happen to be in their area on the way home from shopping, I will call and he always says to stop by. I raised my children so they know the importance of family and staying close.

We have 2 grown children, also. Our son is the closest, but it is still about 95 miles. We see him every 4 to 6 months, but we hear from him via phone call or e-mail weekly. Our daughter lives several states away but calls frequently, sometimes more than once in a day. She is a very busy person. She and her husband run their car lot business out of their home, and she has a part time job. They have 3 children ranging in age from 9 to 19. Still, she rarely lets more than 3 days go by without calling or e-mailing us. It has been at least 2 years since they've been to see us, but we understand why. My husband does not travel well, so we have not been to see our children together in a long time. Sometimes I'll take off by myself to go see our son and his family for a couple of days. I have made the trip by myself to see our daughter but not in a long time. I hate to leave my husband alone for more than 2 or 3 days. All in all, I guess we do OK at keeping the family ties alive.

I have a son and his family have their own home now. On the average, we meet once a week, mostly they come to have a meal, and stay a while. On vacations, or when my grandson is ill, we will be called to help. Some distance help to smooth relationship between parents and children. But for whatever reasons, parents are more likely to miss their children than vice versa. In such cases, I would just send out the message, and invite. But I keep in mind leave room to themselves, and only independent facing challenges can they learn to grow up. It is hard though, but still I do my best not to interfere. A good will and plain heart is the key to harmony.

You know they are buzy.No doubt they love you,they just have so much things to do,work,spouse,children,certainly also you.You can do something interesting to move you attention.

hum,,,i think your children was not think of them,actually i am in my 20s and i live far from my parents ,my parents live in my hometown ,but if i have time i will go home to visit them ,i think almost two month one time ,i know it's not enought,but i will try my best after i see you topic.my boyfriend also live far far away from his parents ,he just go home once maybe twice a year ,but he uauslly makes phonecall with his mother ,his mother love him and miss hime very much ,for he is only child,but if we go home stay with our parents ,our hometown can't supply us a good job and good future,so we choose to work here and we work very hard within these years.we hope we can pick up them to liver with us here after we earn money, i think you should have a talk with you children ,and let them know you're thinking,if they love you ,they will understand and back home usually ,i am looking forward to hear you good news.

Unfortunately my son and I currently live about three states apart. But I am in the process of moving closer to him. This way I'll be able to see him and my two grandchildren. It's been almost 3 years since I've seen them. The one nice thing is my son and I are very close and we talk to each other ALOT. Tonight we spent two hours on the phone laughing and chatting. I'm grateful for my close relationship to him and the children. And I just adore hearing my youngest grandchild say "I love you gamma."

I have two grown children too. I have a son and a daughter. I see and hear more from my daughter than my son. My daughter recognize me on all the major holidays. Birthday, Christmas, Mother's Day, Valentine's Day. I hear from her at least 2 0r 3 times a week. Now on the other hand I hardly ever hear from my son. He will go some times 1 to 2 months before I hear from him. He misses every holiday except Thanksgiving he will call and see where the family is gathering for the Thanksgiving dinner. I have a set of twin grand boys age 13 that I hear from more than the adult children.

I can't speak as a parent of adult children, but I am an adult child myself and so is my husband. Our relationships with our parents are very different. As far as how often I see them...my parents are divorced. My mom is about an hour and a half away and my dad is about three hours away. I see my dad on all major holidays and maybe 3 or 4 other times throughout the year. We talk on the phone about once or twice a month. I see my mom much more often. I see her about every other week. Usually she comes to see me, but sometimes I drive to see her. I honestly just don't have the extra money for gas to drive up. My husband rarely sees his family even though they are about as close as mine. In fact, his mom is only about 20 minutes away. They rarely talk on the phone. Their family is not nearly as loving and close as mine is. The family members he talks to the most are his brother and sister. I have a 6 year old and a 16 month old and I would die if they never came to visit me. I would be crushed. I sure hope they don't do that to me. My daughter might, but my son is mentally handicapped, so he'll most likely live with me until I die. At least I won't have to worry about him forgetting old mom!