Miscarriages are so hard.
By CaiteBaby09
@CaiteBaby09 (16)
United States
February 25, 2009 7:52pm CST
This past weekend I went to the hospital for a miscarriage. i was 6 weeks pregnant. It was truly sad because I had not know I was pregnant until like a week and a half ago. Before that I was drinking and partying and smoking cigarettes everyday. When we found out me and my husband agreed to have an abortion because of the fact of the partying and smoking. When...a week later I woke up to a ting of blood in my underwear. I thought of it as nothing. I got up to use the bathroom and the bleeding started there. My husband and I thought it was to be a good idea to wait to go to the hospital. Then the cramping started. I drove to the hospital with My friends and waited in the EMERGENCY room for two hours. When my friend went to front desk to tell the receptionist that I was in severe pain she said my symptoms were not severe enough to be rushed. So I wait for 30 more minutes until I was emitted into a room. I waited there for 9 hours. 9 long hard excruciating hours just for them to send me home with a doctors appointment for 3 days later. It is now Wednesday and I sit here all day long hating myself. My husband trying to cheer me up, I still feel terrible. He makes the point of the abortion, but I did not want to harm this child so much that it died itself. Many of you are probably like oh whats the big deal you were going to get an abortion and your wrong for that and so on. But my heart aches everyday since then. I feel that I am a murderer. Yes abortion is murder, but drinking a poor little fetus to death is murder as well. I just thought maybe expressing my feeling on hear would make my feel better. Maybe someone is out there that has the same situation as me and knows my troubles. Thanks for reading!!!!
Caitlan
4 people like this
13 responses
@rogue13xmen13 (14402)
• United States
26 Feb 09
I know all too well. My grandmother had one, my aunt had two miscarriages, and a lot of my cousins and my mother's friends have had miscarriages. It's hell losing a baby. My aunt was distraught when she lost her two children. She wondered what was wrong with her and she discover that she had a weak cervix. Now, the doctors can sew up your cervix if they know that that is the issue, but before I was born doctors did not do it or it was not that common.
It will take time to get over the loss, and she will be a lot of pain for a while, but she will learn to incorporate the loss into her life.
1 person likes this
@itsme_cha (504)
• United States
26 Feb 09
yes i agree miscarriage is so hard for the woman who carry a baby. i have a friend she was so excited when she found she is pregnant, its been 2 months since she was preparing for baby's stuff and she even have a name for it, but at 3 months she had miscarriage she felt so bad about it and we do. i know how bad she really want that baby... but fortunately she able to accept it and get over with it, and now she is preganant again and she will be having her first baby this comming june she is so happy that everything is going well.
happy posting!!!
1 person likes this
@melissapalardy (213)
• United States
26 Feb 09
if you were planning on having an abortion, then why are you so worried about having a miscarriage. the end result would still be the same. there are women all the time that drink and smoke in the first month of their pregancy because they don't know they are pregant. but as soon as they find out they quit. and sometimes the baby is alright. personally i think that if you are not going to protect yourself, then you shouldn't do the drinking and smoking anyways just to be safe. but to give up a baby because you did a few things you shouldn't have just because you didn't know you were pregant doesn't make any sence. but maybe it's just me
@CaiteBaby09 (16)
• United States
27 Feb 09
To let you know. I didn't NOT want this baby. I was getting the abortion because I did NOT want my child to have to live with MY mistakes. I have a 4 month old daughter. Children are my life. And to take way a child mentality, physical control and emotionally distress was not my intentions. In in a way, the abortion did make A LOT of sense. How would you feel if you knew the cause of your child's mental disabilities were YOUR fault?? Could you live with that???? Answer that and tell me that an abortion makes no sense.
@prinzess1515 (1341)
• United States
27 Feb 09
You did not know if the baby had any disabilities. There are test you can take while pregnant that let you know if the baby is ok or not. You were barely pregnant and already going to get an abortion.
@CaiteBaby09 (16)
• United States
27 Feb 09
Well....your untitled to your opinion. Thanks for the negativity!!!
Caitlan.
@mikeysmom (2088)
• United States
26 Feb 09
i had a miscarriage at 6 weeks also and it was my first pregnancy. i was devastated and very sad for a very long time and did not even want to be around babies. it is not your fault and you have to believe that. these things happen and are out of our control. you did nothing wrong. it took me 4 years to get pregnant again but i have a beautiful little boy now who i love dearly. i still remember the baby i lost but i am so grateful i was given another chance. give yourself time to grieve because this is a real loss. not tangible to others and perhaps that is why they can be insensitive to what you are going through. my heart is with you and i know you will get through this and find the courage to try again.
@prinzess1515 (1341)
• United States
26 Feb 09
She didn't want the baby. She was planning on getting an abortion. If anything she lucked out because now she does not have to pay for the abortion.
@prinzess1515 (1341)
• United States
26 Feb 09
How do you think abortions are done? What do you think they do to the baby?
@luckydolphin98 (168)
• Australia
26 Feb 09
I heard that they use this suction thingy... and suck the babies out :(
@prinzess1515 (1341)
• United States
27 Feb 09
Yes and depending on the size, they have to rip the babies arms and legs off first.
@TLChimes (4822)
• United States
26 Feb 09
I lost two babies. I held them each as they took their first and last breaths. They were two years apart and born way to early.
A bit later I ended a pregnancy because of medical reasons.
It is better to have Nature or God end things then to carry the burden of having done it yourself.
If you want to party and drink, learn from this, and use precautions to prevent this from happening again.
I'm sorry that you had to go through this. Use it to learn and grow as a person then you will have nothing to feel guilty about.
Be well, and heal.
@CaiteBaby09 (16)
• United States
26 Feb 09
Thank you so much for your words. I appreciate them. You are right about nature or God. Its not call spontaneous abortion for nothing right? if somethings wrong, your body fixes it. Thank you so much!!!
@luckydolphin98 (168)
• Australia
26 Feb 09
Hi Caitlan - I am so sorry for you. Even though you were thinking of abortion and stuff it still hurts and hard when you ended up having a miscarriages.
You need to stop hating yourself so much. Sure it was a mistake by drinking and partying (even you dont know that you were pregnant at that time), but that mistake is in the past. There is nothing else that you can do about it. Learn from the mistake and next time think twice before partying or drinking as you dont know when you are pregnant...
I dont know if it will make you feel better, but maybe you could write a letter to your unborn baby and ask for forgiveness ? Its really more just for your own peace of mind and guilt...
@lynnemg (4529)
• United States
26 Feb 09
I think thatmaybe God was trying to tell you something and save you from having an abortion. Yes, it hurts to have a miscarriage. I had two before I finally had my first son, then, I lost my second-born child when he was only 5 weeks old. It hurts, but, you have to learn from it and grow from it.
A miscarriage is naures way of aborting a fetus. I have been tod that normally, it happens because something was wrong, not necessarily something that is the mother's fault either.
Did you know that most women experience at least one miscarriage whether they realize it or not before they are able to carry a child to full term?
@mermaidivy (15394)
• United States
26 Feb 09
I feel so sad to hear your storry :-( I hope you the best next time when you get pregnant :-)
@harleygirl1898 (13)
• United States
27 Feb 09
I myself had a miscarage, and you can't blame the drinking, and smoking,mine happened for no reason st all i still think about what might have happened, but i now have two beautiful boys and if not for my sis i would have went through that horror alone i can still see myself in the hall way of my aot waiting for her in so much pain. its nothing no one should go through but you still have a future and like everything else i learned it will pass in time so good luck in your future.
@mommaj (23112)
• United States
27 Feb 09
I had a miscarraige at 8 weeks. I wanted a little baby more than anyone could have imagined. At six weeks pregnant you are barely aware that you are pregnant. At that point the partying you did didn't even effect the "baby's" development at that time. Chances are good your body wasn't ready to carry a baby and there was something wrong with that baby. If you feel this guilty about the baby dying naturally think of how bad you would have felt if you had had an abortion. Your miscarriage was a blessing from God. You better look upon this as a learning experience and be real careful about getting pregnant again.
I know what you are going through but you have to believe it wasn't your fault and God did this for a reason. Nothing you did to your body short of taking an abortion pill could have had any effect on the baby at six weeks. Forgive yourself. Good luck.
@cindyhxf (1446)
• China
26 Feb 09
I really felt sorry to hear that,my friend did so.she was prenant with twins .but after 5 monthes she got miscarriages naturally.she ever had hope with them for 5 monthes.made a beautiful plan for funture life .but one day,they left.
whatever what case happened.it is life.take care your body after miscarriage.
@dhaumya (106)
• India
26 Feb 09
My dear, there is no need to crib about the past but you must repent about the past and and make changes in yourself that this is not repeated in the future. Past has only this much of value that we can improve the future by learning from it otherwise we can not retrieve it you know. I can very well understand your agony but please try to do what I have advised and my dear time is a great healer.
