A man that does not help but hurt his wife.. What is his problem?
By cream97
@cream97 (29087)
United States
March 1, 2009 1:54pm CST
I asked my husband once to help me practice driving.. And I told him that I needed him to help me more than he does. I want to stay on track so that I would not lose my touch in driving. So, he told me that I need to talk to the man that pissed in my momma's *****. I was so shocked when he said this to me. My mom died when I was seven years old. She died by being hit by a car. I believe that she was murdered. Her death was no accident. Why would a man say anything like that to his wife. He said that he told me that because I was blaming him for the reason why that I did not have my driver's license. I told him that I was not blaming him.. I never told him directly that I was blaming him. He misinterpreted my words. I am asking him to help me because he is the only person right about now that can..But he has no time to like he should.. Why is he bringing my mother's name up. My mom has never met him in her entire life. My mom died weigh before me and him met. She has nothing to do with anything.. My mom has never done anything to him before.. And why is he saying anything about my daddy?? He should be helping me, not hurting me..
4 people like this
12 responses
@mansha (6298)
• India
1 Mar 09
Was your hubby mad about somethig else and took it out this way. I agree we do not know your relationship with him but it seems a wrong approach to say no and definatley he has some issues here which need straightening out. First of all its no way or manner to speak to one's wife, if one loves and respects her. May be its better that you try and drive under a proper professional instructur instead of asking him. Otherwise also husbands are generally impatient and lousy at teaching driving. They love their cars more then there wives.
@Jezebella (1446)
• United States
9 Apr 09
I couldn't imagine a man speaking to me like that and it does seem like he was taking out some other issue. I think what mansha suggested would be a good idea: find an instructor to help you instead of him if he would react like that.
1 person likes this
@nicholejade (2430)
• Canada
2 Mar 09
First off my condolences for the loss of your mother. Now I don't agree with the words that is coming from your husband. That was totally uncalled for and he should not be bringing up that painful past and talking about someone that has never met your mother. This is verbal abuse and I think that you should sit him down and talk with him about his behaviour. And if this continues please seek help.
@moondancer (7433)
• United States
2 Mar 09
I was shocked to see what he said to you. That was uncalled for and mean. How could he do that? I know it's not my place to ask anything or really to say anything about what he has done.
If he won't help you do you have a friend that can? If he acts that way then I wouldn't want him to help me.
I think he brought your mother into it to hurt you, and that was mean.
1 person likes this
@pehpot (4762)
• Philippines
2 Mar 09
Oh well talk about man's ego.. he misinterpreted your request as blame and his ego is hurt.. and you know guys.. they know that the only way they can hurt the most is by bringing up the subject about our mothers.. I would say that your man is no good.. even if he thinks (and I know your not) you are blaming him for your driver's license , there is no way that he should talk like that about your mother.. he is very disrespectful dear..
1 person likes this
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
2 Mar 09
Hi cream! It makes me sad that he has spoken to you that way and about your mom. I can only put myself in your position and I know how hurt I would be if that were said to me. I don't even have a relationship with my mom and it would still break my heart. It sounds like he is very defensive about this subject. Does he not want you to drive for some reason? I do agree she should be more supportive of you. He is your husband. There is nothing I can say to make you feel any better about this but you do deserve to be talked to with alot more respect than that. Sorry he talked to you like that my friend
1 person likes this
@CRIVAS (1815)
• Canada
2 Mar 09
I think that your husband is being very unfair. I can't believe that he even considered saying that. I don't think that you did anything wrong. It's not like you told him out right that it was his fault that you didn't have a licence and to tell you the truth even if you had said that, it doesn't warrent him bringing up somethingg like your mom who is completely unrelated to the issues at hand. I think that you should sit down and have a serious conversation with him about it. You have to let him know that those kinds of comments hurt you and that he has no right to make you feel that way. A husband is supposed to help you when you fall, not kick you while you aredown. I hope that you are able to solve the issue and that you get your licence. Good luck and happy mylotting.
@faith210 (11224)
• Philippines
2 Mar 09
Hi cream dear! He is way out of line! I really think that you should not be accepting such disrespect. Whatever he's been going through, he shouldn't be dishing it out on you. I know that we should do everything to keep a marriage or a relationship and never give up on the people we love..but if you are being degraded, demoralized and hurt I don't think that he is worth keeping and loving. Just remember this my friend, you are worthy of being loved, respected and appreciated! Love yourself more. Believe in yourself more my dear friend!
Take care and blessings to you always!
lovelots..faith
1 person likes this
@angel_of_charm (4134)
• Philippines
12 Mar 09
I'm sorry, I don't know what has happened in your past with your husband to act like that...for any reason i still believe that what he said is wrong and hurtful but i wont advice you to do anything against him..i would like to think with this matter is a positive way, of that maybe he is just stressed out of a lot of things..of maybe he is under a lot of pressure as of the moment reason why he gets easily heated up and say things he wont mean..just maybe, i do not know your husband but you know him well enough..if you think i am right that he might just be tired or fed up with the pressure then i suggest to hold on tight and let him be understood..but if not, i guess you have to talk to him about why he is acting that way..~Hugs to you my friend~
@tamarafireheart (15384)
•
1 Mar 09
Hi cream97,
I think that is disgusting, I wouln't stand for it and tell him to go, yes what is his problem? is he normally that nasty and hurtful? I call that verbal abuse. Hugs.
Tamara
1 person likes this
@suzzy3 (8341)
•
1 Mar 09
He seems a bit cruel to you that is abuse ,a man normally says things like that when his wife wants to get on and do something different.He will knock her confidence till he puts her back down so he can feel superior to her again and be in charge,not all men just the bully boys I thought I had better put that in,or it would be unfair on the other lovely men around.My first husband nearly destroyed me by denting my confidence so often,he told me I was ugly and said dreadful things about my family,he was a nasty man.Do what I did divorce him and find someone who will appreciate you and love you properly,I read a few of your other discussions tonight and I think enough is enough my love.What ever you do make it the biggest surprise of his horrible life.what ever you plan don't let on to him.Take care love suzzyxx
@candy811123 (334)
• China
2 Mar 09
I am sorry to hear that. Maybe he just wanted to impel you to practice and get your driver's license. Maybe I missed something of reading.Why he thought you were blaming him?
1 person likes this
