he's touching me without my permission!
By sandragellar
@sandragellar (440)
Philippines
March 2, 2009 11:04am CST
have you ever been pregnant? or do you know of anyone who has been pregnant and as complained about having her belly touched without permission?
sometimes people tend to forget that the pregnant belly is still a belly, and having a non-pregnant belly stroked feels the same (for the, um, owner of the belly)as having a pregnant belly stroked.
my pregnant friend claims it's rather weird that people she just met would autoatically stroke her belly. she feels that people should first ask permission before they do so.
how about you? if you were pregnant (or if your friend/ sister/ mother was pregnant), would you mind having your pregnant belly stroked (or your loved one's belly) without permission?
have you ever stroked someone's pregnant bump without first asking? if so, have you ever thought about what the pregnant woman might think about you touching her without permission?
hm... pregnant pause...
2 people like this
26 responses
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
3 Mar 09
Yes, I have been pregnant before. Strangers never came up to me to try and touch my belly, but there was one incident when I was pregnant with my eldest son, I believe, that my brother-in-law's (ex) girlfriend came up to me and touched my belly without permission. I didn't appreciate it and I must have given her one hell of a dirty look because she never tried to do it again! 
The only ones I allowed to touch my pregnant belly without permission (besides my husband and kids) were my kids grandparents. But for some reason they always asked anyway! 
And no, I never touched a pregnant woman's belly without permission. I don't even feel comfortable feeling it when I do have permission! It's their belly, after all! Sure there is a baby growing in there, but it is still their belly!
The only ones I allowed to touch my pregnant belly without permission (besides my husband and kids) were my kids grandparents. But for some reason they always asked anyway!
And no, I never touched a pregnant woman's belly without permission. I don't even feel comfortable feeling it when I do have permission! It's their belly, after all! Sure there is a baby growing in there, but it is still their belly!
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
6 Mar 09
It sure would!
I just hope I'll be able to remember it if I do become pregnant again and someone has the nerve to do that to me. I'd love to see the look on their face!
@sandragellar (440)
• Philippines
5 Mar 09
hehe well said, sacmom. it's still a belly, pregnant or not. it would feel weird to stroke a nonpregnant belly, right?
well, when you or i get pregnant (again, in our case) an a stranger suddenly does the belly rub, we can always say "i'm not pregnant!" like angelwhispers! hehehehe ^_^
1 person likes this
@kquiming (2997)
• Philippines
2 Mar 09
YES!! it's very very veryyyyyy annoying whenever people touched my belly without even giving me hints those hands are coming closer and closer to my sensitive spot!! i think what makes it even more annoying is because since the skin there is so stretched out, the skin becomes extra sensitive to anything that touches it, there's this sensual feeling that i really wasn't comfortable getting from just everyone and anyone about(probably because it sexually aroused me?? HAHA, can't explain it) ...you know... PLEASE ONLY THE DADDY TOUCHES MY TUMMY OK!!!
@sandragellar (440)
• Philippines
3 Mar 09
hi there! haha, that's a spirited response! ^_^ that's true, the skin is stretched and sensitive for most pregnant women, so touching a belly can be uncomfortable.
especially with cold hands! lol ^_^ i can imagine the discomfort of a pregnant woman whose belly is being rubbed by a person who was previously holding a cold drink!
@Crystalwatson345 (441)
• United States
4 Mar 09
I am pregnant now I am not touchy feely person in general so no I wouldnt like any stranger to touch or to touch my belly its my belly why do they need to touch it lol. As far as family I pretty much feel the same why I dont want them toch my belly, now if I felt the baby move and I invited them to feel that is differant, and no I dont touch others belly or there babys unless i first know them and know its ok for me to touch there baby.
@sandragellar (440)
• Philippines
8 Mar 09
it's indeed different when your baby is kicking and you want to share it... :) that's a rather special moment!
i hope that if someone does want to touch your belly, they would at least ask permission. lol. so many people don't realize that an unauthorized belly rub can be rather uncomfortable and awkward!
congratulations, by the way! :D
@thenextnoel (396)
• Philippines
3 Mar 09
My friend got pregnant and when I saw her huge belly I could feel my hand wanting to reach out and start rubbing it. It's almost like a reflex. I didn't do it though and waited for her to say "touch it" (the belly that is). I'd think it would be inappropriate to start touching pregnant woman's bellies without asking permission. Besides, the baby's not going to feel the touch it's still the woman your touching.
@sandragellar (440)
• Philippines
5 Mar 09
good point there, the baby never gets to feel your touch. it's still the mother who takes it all. hehe. ^_^
@tjsally (287)
• China
3 Mar 09
I've ever been pregnant, but i don't have this problem like you said. If someone want to touch my belly, they must be my families,my friends, or somebody i know. I think all of them strocked my belly are stemming from expression which loves. In my mind, a gently strock is good for the baby in the belly, the baby could feels the love from us.
@sandragellar (440)
• Philippines
5 Mar 09
hi, tjsally!
yes that's true, the baby is sowered with love. ^_^
but if the mother is rather sensitive and prefers for people not to always touch her belly, then the baby feels her mother's frustration, so belly rubbing can also be bad for the baby. :(
@sandragellar (440)
• Philippines
5 Mar 09
hi, kaven!
yes, i think it was also never meant as insulting or offensive in any way. it is perhaps just to show how they appreciate a pregnancy. still, some women are quite sensitive to being touched...
perhaps it would help if they were more aware of what their belly rub would do to the pregnant woman. hehe. ^_^
@redsponge (557)
• Malaysia
3 Mar 09
I have only touched 2 person's belly when they are pregnant. One of them is my ex-colleague who asked me to put my hand on her belly to feel her baby. The other one is my best friend. She wanted me to feel her baby movement. I will not simply touch people's tummy without permission. When I was pregnant, no one touch my belly without my permission too, except for my nephew who is only 2 years old. He stroke on my belly lovingly. 
@sandragellar (440)
• Philippines
5 Mar 09
that's so cute! a child loving another baby, hehe.
my brother also loves little kids and i find it so endearing. but i guess it becomes different when discerning adults are involved.
children can get away with doing anything because they can't be expected to know what personal space is, but you're right, it's rather awkward for a mom if you suddenly touch her belly.
@strawberrychocodahi (4818)
• Philippines
2 Mar 09
I don't like the idea of someone touching my belly if ever i am pregnant and the person touching me is a stranger and did not asked for my permission. It would be awkward and really not appropriate.
Like what you have said, it is still a belly and is part of the human body and some people are too sensitive to touch and the rest of the senses are another story. I do mind if someone touched my belly, i would slap his/her hand i guess if he/she touches me instantly and i don't know him/her.
Really, i am serious, you don't want any stranger just touching you like that without a word. Mind their manners, if their parents did not teach them to behave well and display a fashionable way, i will make sure i will demonstrate my being disciplinary to him/her and correct him.
@sandragellar (440)
• Philippines
3 Mar 09
hi there!
haha you know how to assert yourself. ^_^ i probably would be too scared to swat away hands zooming in for my belly, although i wish i could! lol.
@abradshaw6001 (28)
• United States
2 Mar 09
I am actually almost 27 weeks pregnant and I have had the experience of people touching my pregnant belly. If it is someone that I am close to, it doesn't bother me at all. But, if I am out in town and someone comes up and just starts touching it, I think it is really weird. They actually haven't done that so far with this pregnancy. People have just made comment after comment about HOW BIG I am. I know that when you are pregnant you get big in your belly, but to people have to constantly remind me of that? I guess I would rather someone rub my belly and talk about a little baby inside than to sit and say, "Oh my gosh, you are so big!"
@sandragellar (440)
• Philippines
3 Mar 09
hi there!
i sympathize with you! some of my friends greet each other by saying, "oh my god, yo've gained weight!" and i find it rather rude and unnecessary. before they say it, they should look at themselves in the mirror. lol ^_^
yes, it's weird if strangers feel suddenly close to you simply because you're carrying a baby. i bet they wouldn't come up to you and rub a surgical scar after cancer surgery. hehe.
hope they don't keep saying you're ig. if they do, you can always sit on them and say, "hm, you're right, i AM big!" hehe lol ^_^
@shellsim26 (138)
•
2 Mar 09
I think it depends what type of person you are and how close you are to the pregnant person. A good friend of mine is a really touchy feely person and she has absolutley no problem with people she knows feeling the baby. The only time it ever annoyed her was when a person she didnt really like, drunkenly constantly prodded her tummy pretty hard.
I worked next door to a pregnant lady who insisted in running through every time the baby kicked to get me to feel it. I was really uncomfortable with it as she wasnt a friend and it is a personal thing to do.
@sandragellar (440)
• Philippines
5 Mar 09
haha yes, there are pregnant women who feel weird when strangers touch them, and there are also people who feel weird if a pregnant woman asks them to touch her! lol ^_^
hm, you're right, it can even be uncomfortable for the one doing the rubbing! some pregnant women are very open about their pregnancy and that's not a bad thing. but if they are also inconsiderate and grab other people's hands to their bellies, it can also be quite weird.
i have a male friend who doesn't like the feel of "squirmy flesh." he doesn't like feeling kneecaps (because they move). i can imagine he will be squeamish when a woman suddenly presses his hand on her kicking baby! lol ^_^
@Archie0 (5652)
•
2 Mar 09
No ways its just against basic normas and manners how it can happen how can one just go ahead and touch people without their personal permission, i mean it sounds really weird at my part i have done that ofcourse i dont even talk further without asking peoples permission touching and stuff is a big thing for me.. as far as it would be concerned with me i would never allow it if they would do it i would better tell them then
@sandragellar (440)
• Philippines
5 Mar 09
hi, archie!
i think it starts off as a stranger saying things in baby talk, like, "hi, baby! how old are you in mommy's tummy? when are you coming out to see the world?" then they go ahead and rub the poor pregnant woman's belly. hehe.
hope it doesn't happen to me, too! i don't wanna be put in an awkward position where i'm going to have to say "hands off." hehe lol ^_^
@someday2return (21)
• United States
3 Mar 09
I have NEVER touched another pregnant lady's belly before, even if it's my sis-in-law. I just think it's kind of awkward, it's not like you're getting any kind of satisfaction from it, like pinching a chubby baby's cheeks....it's strange to see how strangers just touch your tummy like it's soooo gobbling up kind of cute. hehe....
Me on the other hand, curse my bubbly nature, always gets my belly rubbed. My husband gets jealous, so I back away ESPECIALLY when they're strangers. LOL
@sandragellar (440)
• Philippines
5 Mar 09
hehehe you must be very approachable! i'm wondering what kind of pokerface to adopt to prevent people from stroking my belly if i do get pregnant. hehe. ^_^
@candy811123 (334)
• China
3 Mar 09
I am pregnant now. As you mentioned ,many friends stoke my belly. But I really don't mind about that.I think they just want to express their love to the baby. They just want to share the happiness with me . No matter whether they asked my permission, I dont care.
@sandragellar (440)
• Philippines
5 Mar 09
hi, candy!
congratulations on your pregnancy! i'm glad you're not sensitive to belly rubs. but some pregnant women are. :( they really become really uncomfortable when people stroke their tummy without even saying so.
perhaps if friends do it, it's okay. but strangers walking towards you and stroking you is rather weird, at least to me. but hey, as long as you like it, then it's no problem if people rub your belly. ^_^
@irishfury187 (375)
• United States
3 Mar 09
Wow..I've done the unauthorized pregnant belly rub multiple times, but it was to girls i knew personally, not girls i just met, but i never thought that it could make them uncomfortable, thinks for showing me the light
@sandragellar (440)
• Philippines
5 Mar 09
hi, irishfury!
haha oh no, you've done the belly rub. hehe. that's alright, it's not a mortal sin. i know a lot of people are not aware of how it can be uncomfortable (only for some). i'm glad i've somehow shared something with you hehe.
there are many good things we can pick up from myLot. ^_^
@melissapalardy (213)
• United States
2 Mar 09
i have never had that problem. i have 4 kids of my own and when i was pregant with all of them i never had a problem with other people touching me when i didn't want to be touched. i think this is the first time i have ever heard of this.
@sandragellar (440)
• Philippines
3 Mar 09
hi there!
oh, it's good you're not sensitive to being touched. hehe. my friend is very sensitive and she prefers not having her belly touched...
in this post, i think more people would be choosy when it comes to having their bellies rubbed. but good for you that you don't share our misery when a stranger comes up to us to touch our bellies. hehe.
have a nice day! ^_^
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
4 Mar 09
Personally if it was me, this would be considered very annoying. If I was pregnant and some stranger started patting my belly without asking first would probably freak me out and depending on the mood, I would have to say something as well. Due to personal respect for the Mom to Be I would think the polite thing would be too ask and then be gentle and quick about it as well.
@journey314207 (171)
• United States
2 Mar 09
I am almost three months pregnant and still have no bumps in my belly to identified i am pregnant. In my opinion, i don't know what i felt if someone guy will touch my belly without my permission but if there is no malice on when he touching my big belly co'z i am pregnant i don't mind it.
@sandragellar (440)
• Philippines
5 Mar 09
hi, journey!
oh, it's good that you're not sensitive to belly rubs. but there are many women who are, and perhaps the guys who like to rub bellies should ask them before they do it, right? ^_^
congratulations on your pregnancy!
@kedves (728)
•
2 Mar 09
Firstly for obvious reasons I have never been pregnant .. but I think it is rude and a little invasive to just touch or rub a womans belly just because she is pregnant. What gives anyone the right to abuse your personal space and touch you without even asking if its ok .. and secondly what gives them the right to ask you and put you in the position of looking the odd one by saying NO. ?? I'm sorry but as much pleasure as their is in knowing a child is growing inside NO ONE should be touching it or rubbing it or even asking .. i have a fat belly from eating and no one ever asks me to rub it :) so ladies stand strong and remember it is YOUR body NOT theirs !!
@sandragellar (440)
• Philippines
2 Mar 09
ha ha ha that was really funny, kedves. ^_^
that's true, people don't just ask to stroke big bellies!
i pity my friend as she, like you said, can't always say NO especially if it's the boss's wife asking. so she just plasters a smile on her face while a stranger strokes her.
i always pretend we are in a rush and pull her away. she then tries hard not to lose her temper because "she got stroked - again" and i help her take deep breaths to prevent premture labor. lol ^_^
@jessi0887 (2788)
• United States
2 Mar 09
I have been pregnant. I personally dont feel comfortable or right touching someone belly unless its someone i know and know that they dont mind. I have had people touch my belly that i didnt' know. It kind of freaked me out but i didn't care. I think its rude though to just touch a belly without permission. Especially if you dont know that person.
@sandragellar (440)
• Philippines
5 Mar 09
hi, jessi!
yes, it can be rather rude to touch a belly without saying so first. after all, whether or not a pregnant woman doesn't mind, others should always think of how she might take it.
it's good that you are considerate of how others may react to belly rubs although you yourself don't mind. so few people would have taken the effort to ask permission if they personally don't mind being touched themselves. ^_^
@sysdexlicwriter (1619)
• United States
2 Mar 09
I have never touched someone's pregnant stomach without permission. That is really getting personal to me. Would they feel the right to go through your purse?
The thing that surprised me is when the baby is born and everyone just goes up to the baby and starts touching it. I can understand if family does but not strangers. This especially is a little hard to take when children run up to a baby in a stroller and want to hug or kiss them in the middle of coughs and sneezes while the parent stands there smiling.
@sandragellar (440)
• Philippines
3 Mar 09
hi there!
hm, i understand your concern about the coughing kids and the baby. i think that if a child is taught early on to cover his mouth when coughing, he'll actually do it. perhaps the parents themselves don't cover their mouths when they cough? lol. i hope not...
i try not to impose myself on pregnant people as well. some like to share everything about their pregnancy. but some are very private and don't lik to be touched. so it's better to be on the safe side. hehe.
