Why don't my kids listen?

My daughter is 6 and very stubborn at times. There are times when she is more than willing to do what I ask her to do, and then, there are the times that she just refuses no matter what! This is what I do and it helps me get through to her when she is in one of her moods. I will tell her to do something, she will refuse, i will tell her again, she will still refuse. I will give her a time out, she will throw a fit, and when she gets out, she will STILL refuse. Okay, by now, she should be listening, right? Well, my theory is, she will listen to me, if she finds that I won't listen to her if she doesn't. So, I will ask her to do something one more time and let her know that until she does it, she need not ask anything of me. Then, and this is the hard part, I will not pay attention to her AT ALL until she does what she was asked. At first, when I tried this, she would throw a fit and try to get right up in my face to make me pay attention. She even went so far as to throw a toy at me one time. No matter what she did, I payed no attention. Finally, she did what she was asked to do. Now, I rarely have to go that far, but when I do, she gets on the ball really fast. I know that it may sound a bit cruel, but she is not being harmed in any way. She is just getting the chance to see how I feel when she ignores me.

I feel ya really I have a 2 year old that is the same way I am at my wits end with her so If you find anything that works shot it my way lol

well she is still only young and if it helps my daughter just turned 5 and she is exactly the same! Keep up with the punishments and just keep going as long as you are consistant she will eventually learn to remember not to repeat the bad behaviour. I did speak with my daughters teacher aswell just to check how she was behaving there but she said she is really well behaved so I know she is perfectly capable but I also think children cant be good all the time sometimes they need to just let off steam and that can come in the form of totally ignoring me especially if im telling her to calm down. If your relationship is good and nothing i sbothering her just chalk it up to a "phase" and keep on doing what you are doing its not that what you are doing isnt right it just means she needs a little longer to realise the consequences to her actions tis all xxxx

She forgets - some kids are like that (some adults as well) and time out will not work. What things is she doing? Are you repeting the things over and over again - that can in some make them do things just because of that *lol* Reminders and they should be like - Did you remeber to wash your hands? - once after they've been to the bathroom or before dinner and so on Do not say - Remember to wash your hands after you've been to the bathroom the last will seldom work, the first works better - many children can't keep it in their heads for more than a minute.

my 4-yr old boy does the same. No matter how many times I repeat it, he doesn't seem to listen. He would ask me for explanations why this has to stop , and I patiently explain and make him understand. He stops for a while and then he's doing it again. I think I've come to accept the fact that kids are just like that. I'm just hoping he grows out of it REALLY soon...it would definitely make my life easier!

How about a "positive reinforcer?" What does she like? Stickers? Sometimes kids need a little reward for following through with what is asked of them. Kids at school get pizza parties for all homework turned in for a month and on time. Think the same way with your five year old, but make it something that is going to work for her.

My daughter is only 2 and she is the same way. She as to be told repeatedly to stop doing something. I don't let her get away with things either, so I don't know why she acts this way. It gets frustrating sometimes.

I'm in the same boat. I have 5 kids, an 11 year old boy, 6 year old boy/girl twins, a 2 and half year old boy, and a 13 month old boy. None of them listen very well, and it's frustrating. Especially the older ones. The little kids you can understand they're still learning the ropes and such, but the older kids know better, and do it anyways. My biggest complaint with my older 3... especially the twins, is how loud they are! I have to yell at them a few dozen times a day to quite down, and they just won't. They too get time outs, and sometimes sent to bed once I'm at wits end. Sometimes they're in bed for the night as early as 6pm. But still they get loud. I think it's just a kid thing. It does get frustrating and aggrevating, but they're only kids for a little while and they'll be grown before we know it.

I think sometimes you could consider that the behavior of your child maybe not wrong ,give some understanding and freedom of child ! They will understand you more!

i'm just wonder about this ... did you ever punish her?once? if not's then i think you should, but in good way, and if she doing a wrong things don't shout at her, kids are not like to be shouted, just warn her and let her do it, for examples : if she like running in coridor, then you must warn her don't run in the corider, and once if she falls, you shouldn't angry with her, but you can say : "I already told you not to run, now you already know it, is it hurt?" then i think she will be understand and start listening to you Hopes it works

We have the same problem about kids..Even my kids are also like that.But you know,if i show my kids that im really angry,thats the time they will listen to me.And there's one thing that i always tell them if they dont not listen to me. I will tell them that my chucky doll and tiffany doll will get them.I have chucky and tiffany doll at home.If you have time,you can view the picture attached in one of my discussions.You will see chucky and tiffany there.They are afraid of those dolls.Maybe,your daughter needs to have something to be afraid of.My kids are very naughty and never obey and listen to me.Like your daughter,my kids keep doing the same thing even i tell them to stop.But once i carry chucky and tiffany ,they will keep quiet and behave themselves.

well my son is only 2. but sometimes we use reverse psychology on him lol. i know, but it works.. like when we eat supper, and he refuses, we tell him"don't eat that", and needless to say he eats it lol.. i tell you where i learned a good bit of techniques (not that one)... from watching "super nanny" and "nanny 911" that airs on abc, and tlc. some of those kids are out of control, but the techniques she uses, do work, if you continue to stay consistant. try to get her to talk to you, see if anything is bothering her that she acts up. talk to her doctor (maybe without her, and then with her), to see if they have any suggestions for you. other than asking on here, don't be afraid to ask for outside help. it might just be her age, all kids try to test their limits. good luck :)

my daughter is 5 too.she listened to me before but i found she didn't recently.after woke up every morning.she was so slowly to wake up no matter what i asked.just kept asking her again and again. i felt very tired to do that sometimes.what i think it is just the prieod in their age for kids.parents need to be patient .it is hard to do anytime.but just i am trying to be good mother.

OK,I'm a daughter of some mother,I am not to listen my mom's,you know,the kits all have disobedience,it's the joy of us!you know,sometimes we are not listen my mom,it's a joy or novelty for us,we are just it's funny,no harm. Ok,let her to get better,you could take her to somewhere,and you can hiding for a while,you must notice her action in the dark,she could feel afrair and to cry without you,and the second time,you can run up to her,and that time,she'll notice how important it is the mom's right here,she'll never don't lesten to you.

parents are an examples for their childs..what the childs do are the reflection of their parents. it could be something that the childs saw at a time, their parents habit. i cant say much coz it will sounds like judging u, n i dont wanna judge anyone. but based on my experiences n my sisters experiences, it really is because of our own examples, whether u realize it or not. give her a good examples, not just a words or an orders but do it too, then she will do what she's saw from u both her parents..

maybe because she is just 5 years old and a lot of things catch her attention and make her forget the very thing you told her. that's why she appears like she doesn't listen. i think it's normal. just go on repeating what you said. actually, in the long run you'd find out that children listen. it's just that they don't follow. continue telling her what every parent should. when she's old enough already and you're not confident how she'd fare in life you can still rest with assurance that you equipped her with ethics, morals and values. she may not turn out exactly the way you would want her to but she'd always have everything you taught her come up in surprisingly fruitful and touching ways.

i have no baby now, so i don't know how to commucate with chilren,but i like kids very well.Be patient, every thing will be ok.