Having to watch my husband getting sicker and sicker...Can someone help

Your husband could have heart disease or lung disease...the breathing issues are more indicative of those conditions than of cancer. You really need to get on him about seeing a doctor. If he gets defensive, don't be swayed. Tell him that ignoring the problem will not make it go away and, when he finally loses consciousness from whatever it is, he will wake up in the hospital with tubes coming out of everywhere when it may not be necessary for that to happen. So many things can be treated when caught early. Tell your husband that he needs to love you enough to be around. Good luck dealing with him.

Hi tonniek,I'm really sorry to hear that.But,I don't know much about cancer and its symptoms,so,i can't help you with professional advice.But,i think your there maybe something wrong with your husband's psychology,his reactions to the adverse symptoms happened in his body are caused by fear possibly.So,you can try to find help from psychologists.If ,he take a turn for the better or he can receive hospital treatment ,then you can take him to see a doctor.I hope my advice can give you some help,and wish your husband a speedy recovery.Good luck!

You need to sit down with him and talk to him. If he loves you he will get help. Ask him if he's willing to let you suffer having to watch him get sicker and sicker. Ask him how he would feel if the roles were reversed. How would he feel if you were sick and were going to die. If he truly loves you, then after this talk he'll do something about it. But, maybe he's too scared to get help because it may be too late, but he wont know until he goes.

The only thing I can suggest is to contact his family. Tell them your concerns and worries and ask for their help in getting him in to see a doctor. He'll probably be angry that you did it at first, but he may thank you in the long run. Some ppl who know or suspect what's wrong, don't want to face it b/c they want to know that their life may be ending. It sounds to me like he knows his time is short and he's trying to get everything in order for you... I wish you luck... [b]~~AT PEACE WITHIN~~ **STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS**[/b]

Oh tonnie, all I can say is I hope he comes to a point in his life where he realized that he really needs to see a dr and I hope that point in his life comes FAST! I feel so badly for you because it must be torture for you to watch and not be able to do anything. Tell him that you love him very much and you can see that something is wrong and you don't want to lose him. Tell him that you don't want to lose him just because he's stubborn about seeing a dr. See if that helps. I wish there was more I could do for you, sweetie! I will be praying for the both of you. Purrs, Catwoman=^..^= & Mija

Sorry about your situation. But even if you're able to figure out what is happening, you will still need to seek professional help.

cancer.about.com/od/cancersaffectingmen/tp/menscancersign -- check this site out. when i got kidney cancer i started urinating blood just a little pink but it lasted 2 days then stopped. but i went to a doctor and there was enough blood still there when theye tested me, i lucked out, had i not been looking down i would never had known, i had no pain what so ever thats how they knew it was cancer. i was loaded but i caught it early and did something about it. put your foot in his ARCE and get him to a doctor, PLEASE.

tonniek02, All of the advice here is what I would have advised. I went through something like this with my husband. I spent hours on the net trying to figure out what was going on with him. I knew the history of his family and mine and I realized that I was not the one to make the diagnosis. Even if I had, what could I have done? I didn't have access to the needed tests or mendication and all it was doing was causing me to stress out and worry like you are doing. What I can offer as a something that may be very hard to do for you. Your husband may have no choice. You have to tell him that if he doesn't go to the Dr., voluntarily, then you have no other choice but to have him commited to a mental health hospital. That if he feels that there is nothing wrong with him healthwise, then it has to be a psychological problem. Either way, that you are not willing to keep watching him destroy himself or his family. My husband refused to go even to the emergency room. He was walking around looking like a POW or a prisoner of a concentration camp. I did have the support of family to help me to finally get him to relent to go to the hospital. We didn't have insureance, but that all fell into place as we went through the medical process. When I told him that unless he went to the E.R. I would patition a judge to have him commited, he at first, thought that I was kidding. When he hheard me call the court to find out how to go about it and that fact that my son was with me on it, that's when he decided to go that day. If you need more info on how to go about this, please feel free to contact me. DCMerkle

My prayers go out to you and your family. That is defiantely a really hard situation to deal with. There are a couple of sites that you can go to to check his symptoms and they will give you possible conditions. One site is MayoClinic.com, and another is WedMD. The spots that you describe do sound like they may be cancer, but the changes in his abdomen and the weight loss can be other things. An obstruction in his bowel is possible, and a whole slew of other things. Chances are that he feels like whatever is happening is out of control and he feels that no matter what, nothing will cure him. Obviously, telling him how you feel about it isn't helping to get him to go to the doctor. The only way I can think to get him to a doctor is to remember, if he is unconscious at any point in time, legally, you can assume that he wants help and get him to the doctor. Mom always told me, "Hit them over the head with a frying pan if you have to!" If a person is unconscious, then, you get to make the call for medical help for them, if they are conscious, they have the right to refuse treatment. I think that he loves you very much, believes that he is dying, and doesn't want to spend his last days in a hospital when he feels that there is no hope. Maybe, he has gone to a doctor and not told you, and that is why he is acting as he is. It is hard to tell. In the meantime, check out those sites, along with the American Cancer Association web-site. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

If he doesn't want to see a doctor, let him be. Or there is no miracle without the treatment of proper medication, or examination from the professionals. You are gonna treat him right too; and be on his side until the time come. The only way, get a good doctor.

you know what? even if you dont want this advise, i would still say it, go seek professional help..can you stand seeing your husband having all those things? i mean its about time you be the boss because there's nothing as hurtful as seeing your huisband die without you even trying to help him see a doctor..and always pray for guidance that somehow your husband might realize that life is very beautiful for him to hope still.

Very sorry to hear about that. He may suspect or know what his illness is, just that he refuses to tell you. Is there any Chinese physician near your place? If he refuses to go for checkup, maybe can drag him to visit TCM. At least TCM doesn't requires all kinds of tests to determine which part of the body is damaged.

Your hubby is like mine, he does not like to go to doctor. I hate it when he coughs a loud and i told him to visit the doctor ofr i will drag him. Maybe i can drag him and he can go along with me, but i don't see it will be the same with you. Have you tried his family to convince him instead? Or he is still stubborn even his parents tell him to.

try to have a talk with him, tell him that you love him,maybe he will take your help.

Hello, try getting him some fresh Garlic, put it in his food or in his water.

I am giving you a link to a website where you can check out your hubby's symptomps for yourself and then may be seek some consultation witha doctor and finallly convince him to go for a checkup. http://symptoms.webmd.com/default.htm Try and see some counsellor too who can help your husband oercome his hesitation, many give you a house call too. ALl the best and let us know if hae agrees, if you want we all can mail him and ask on your behalf to go and see a doctor.

You can contact the American Cancer Society and they have a website , numbers to call and will provide you with alot of information.http://www.cancer.org/docroot/home/index.asp you can can enter your zip code for help in your area. They also have a huge amount of information on every type of cancer. You can also call thier number, 1·800·ACS·2345

Oh my god!! that is the saddest thing i ever heard in my life.. losing someone you love in life..don't thinkabout his condition coz it will only make things worst.. always smile and be thankful that you have found someone that really cares and love you..always say thank you to god.. peace!!