dating people you work with

@KATRINKA (1624)
United States
March 9, 2009 7:11pm CST
After much resistance, I broke my own rule about dating people at work. I've known this guy for about a year, and we've been working on the same team. We had always gotten along well and had a lot of common interests. So I few months ago we started dating. We promised each other if we ever had any problems in our relationship, we would not bring it with us to work. We act professionally while we are at work, speaking to each other only about work, or maybe some banter about our favorite football teams, as before we started dating. Only a couple people know about our relationship, and we plan to keep it that way. So I was wondering, what are your thoughts about dating people you work with. Have you done it? How did it work out?
2 people like this
12 responses
@deejean06 (1952)
• United States
10 Mar 09
Unfortunately I do have experience with relationships in the workplace. I did it twice in the same workplace and both ended disastrously. The men both left me and flaunted their new women in front of me. It made me feel worse about the breakup with each passing day. Lucky for me it was only a part time job and I didn't have to stay there. After I believe a year of seeing them with other women I finally left. But every relationship is different and if you feel that this guy will do right by you then by all means go ahead with it! You have to do what's best for you and not always go by others' experiences.
@KATRINKA (1624)
• United States
11 Mar 09
deejean, I am so sorry it didn't work out for you twice. I do appreciate your sharing your experience. I wish you the best...
• United States
10 Mar 09
i dont know i guess if you two think you can handle this ok. i know in my heart i could never date a co worker. i am just really like that it just seems like the rite thing to do.
@polachicago (18716)
• United States
10 Mar 09
I wouldn't date anyone from work. Maybe I think I wouldn't. It is easy to say, hard to keep promises. One is for sure, I wouldn't prefer to date anyone from work.
1 person likes this
@polachicago (18716)
• United States
10 Mar 09
@KATRINKA (1624)
• United States
10 Mar 09
It's so good to see you again! I appreciate your response. I know what you mean. I'm hoping I'm not being too Pollyanna about this. Hugs!
@marty3888 (2355)
• Acme, Michigan
10 Mar 09
I've never done it, but I see nothing wrong with it as long as hyou're handling it the way you two are. It can be hard finding that right person as it is. You shouldn't limit yourself by not dating that person just because they happen to work at the same place. Plus, you have already got to know that person naturally.
1 person likes this
@KATRINKA (1624)
• United States
10 Mar 09
Thanks for your response! You hit it on the head. He sees me as I am, without any airs or trying to impress. He knows who I am, and that's what attracted me to him and vice versa.
@drannhh (15219)
• United States
31 Oct 09
I met my husband of 40 years on the job, but we did not date while both employed there. I think sometimes if the relationship is worth it, it is ok to risk a job, but you just have to understand that if it doesn't work out there can be some unpleasantness and one of you might have to move on. It is 8 months later now, do you mind saying, how did that work out? Do you both still work at the same place? Are you still friends?
1 person likes this
@spalladino (17891)
• United States
10 Mar 09
I dated a guy I worked with a looong time ago and, in the end, I regretted it. The personal relationship ended but the professional one didn't and it was hard seeing him every day at work. I hated it so much that I looked for and found another job. You and your beau have to think about the future...how hard it would be to continue to work together after the relationship ended...and be prepared to look for another job.
1 person likes this
@KATRINKA (1624)
• United States
10 Mar 09
I appreciate your sharing your experience with me. Sorry it didn't work out for you. My guy and I talked about this a lot even before we had a romantic relationship. I know I'm being an idealist at this point. We did promise each other that if things did not work out, we wouldn't take it out on each other at work. If it didn't work out, it would be difficult to see him daily, but I'm professional enough to not let if affect my work. But I can't speak for him. What can I say? We're in love right now. I hope things don't change between us, even though the odds are against us. Again, thanks for your response. I do appreciate it.
@HelloMickey (1655)
• Hong Kong
10 Mar 09
If you think you two are mature enough to handle things at work, I think it is okay to date people you work with. You can say now that you two are professional while you are at work, but love is a strange thing, you would never guess what will happen later. I think if you could always consider the worst thing that could happen, then no matter what happens (good/bad), no matter what the outcome is, you can prepare it well and won't be hurt if someone may hurt you or fail to do the agreement made beforehand. Some guys at work wanted to date me, I usually don't think it is good to date with a guy at work, I think it could be so boring being with him all the time. Good luck to you.
@KATRINKA (1624)
• United States
11 Mar 09
I know what you mean. Right now we are being professional, and only two others know, and no one can tell we're dating. But like you said, love is a strange thing...anything could happen later. Thanks for posting!
@findcutegj (1466)
• India
10 Mar 09
I liked your topic and hence am replying to it, Well my first love came with my collegue working in the same company as mine, first when i saw her, i wasn't at all attracted to her. It was after six months when we met at a half yearly common work conference when i really fell in love with her, i do thinkt that if you really love the person at the place you are working at, there is nothing wrong with that! After all we all are humans and its obvious that if we like someone, love is going to happen irrespective of whether its office place or personal. Dating people you work with is good and nothing wrong with that!!
• Malaysia
10 Mar 09
ahh lucky you! i broke the rule too..i fell for someone at work when i clearly know i shouldn't have. for me it didn't work out, sadly. but oh well, that's in the past..and i've vowed not to fall for a colleague anymore and i hope i can stick to that hehe
@KATRINKA (1624)
• United States
11 Mar 09
I'm so sorry it didn't work out for you.
• United States
11 Mar 09
Never get your honey where you make your money thats all I have to say about that!
@reoko10 (578)
• United States
10 Mar 09
You should never date the person you work with because your going to see this person all the time when your not at work so why would you want to see this person when your at work. I mean when your at work your trying to do your work you can't be all I love you across the room and it will seem a little funny when all your coworkers are all up in your face about it. I my self would never in my life date some one I worked with if for some reason I did fall in love with some one I worked with I would start looking for another job or try to work when he is not there.
1 person likes this
@KATRINKA (1624)
• United States
10 Mar 09
Our dating hasn't interfered with our work at all. My production and sales have actually improved, though. We don't discuss our personal lives, make lovey dovey faces at each other, nothing like that. We only talk about work at work, except maybe football or other innocuous topics. No one needs to know we are dating. I felt exactly the same way you did. We really liked each other as coworkers and friends, and it just developed. Thanks for responding!
@jlamela (4898)
• Philippines
10 Mar 09
It is okay to date somebody who is your officemates. I've known so many relationships who succeed even if they are co-workers, it depends on how you carry the situation. The only people who did not like this idea (of dating co-workers) are those who are close minded, who are not open to any possibilities and who always compare their situation to other people.
@KATRINKA (1624)
• United States
11 Mar 09
Thank you for your response!
• China
10 Mar 09
Oh, the situation you met same as I did before two years ago, I dated with my classmate, we promised to each other that donnt disturb the work, but it is true that I cannt take emotion apart work clearly, which influence my work, he also was disturbed with the same question, after few month, we departed. That's a wordless ending. Nevertheless, I hope god bless you!