my bf is having a textmate, and they call each other hon, should i believe him?

hmmm... I think he is lying... I am a person who easily give trust to people but on this situation, I think the guy is not telling you the truth and just giving excuses not to lose you and still have this "hon" thingy with his textmate. I've been in a situation where I trust my 1st bf so much but I found out he was chatting with some chinese women and he broke up with me when I found out. lol then he ask me back saying he is not going to do it again. Then I found out again that he is going to meet up another chinese woman in NY wow! and then he broke up with me cuz he's guilty. then he asked to get back at me cuz he said he missed me and I gave him a third chance because I thought I love him that much to forget all those cheating stuff. then all of a sudden I heard that he is chatting with my close friend!!! what?! and then finally he broke up with again! cuz his reason is he had fallen in love with my sexy beautiful friend lol. well, at the end of it he found out she was cheating on him too lol. and then tried to get back to me and he said it's just a male fluke... my butt! lol I learned the lesson where a man who loves a woman so much will not make excuses not to get in touch often or so busy he can't send msgs nor call. or plain keep you waiting and then make more alibis and stuff for letting you wait and not show up lol and here is a thought, even on long distance relationship, trust and honesty are the main foundation of keeping it strong. A man/woman will not seek out another person from text messaging or chatting if they are truly keeping their commitment with each other... It takes a lot of courage to be faithful no matter how long it takes for the two of you to be together but love will be the strong factor that can keep that courage intact and unbreakable... It is not uncommon for some pinoys to have a textmate who is not their gf lol. my sister's bf is one. she found it out and he said he's not going to text the girl again and not going to meet her ever but she found out he is continuing his convo and flirting on the phone with that girl lol... that happened before my sis went abroad and she doesn't know if the girl is still his textmate but my sister's bf had lessen his effort to communicate with my sis and for a month now had totally didn't reply to any of her text msgs... =[ I told you this because it might be possible that your man is keeping the truth from you. I don't mean that you don't need to trust him or not give him a second chance but you have to have more proof to know for sure. and some signs that he is having the same text activities with "hon." I hope that before you dole out your second chances try to make sure that he is really sincere on both your commitment in this relationship... ^_^ I'll be praying for you... ^_^ take care... hugs

Hello iansheila I am sorry to hear that. You must be so worry right now. If you love him so much, I would suggest you give him just ONE opportunity. If you still feel uneasy about your future with him, I suggest you should end up with him. Personally, I don't accept any kind of betray, I always have a good memory for good/bad. So I probably can't forget that the feelings when he hurt me once. Good luck to you. Good day~

I've heard some relationship ended because the other partner has a text mate. In some cases,text mate leads to a relationship. If you are single that's ok,but if you are in a relationship it's a temptation hard to resist. Texting is addicting.

My spidey senses say he is lying but then I do not know you or your boyfriend. I read your other post and he is having communication with someone else beside yourself. He is probably lying to her about you. He cannot even keep your pet names straight. He sounds like a player or a wanna be player. Where there is smoke there is fire. Some women do not mind sharing their man. Find out quick and decide.

If i were you , i would not believe what he promises and end up the relationship soon. not simply because this event, to be seperated is harder for people to maintain a relationship.

Hmm long distance relationship. If you really love him then why not give him another chance. I don't wanna sound so judgmental here but you know anything is possible since you two are far from each other. Ask your friends in the Philippines about your boyfriend. You know, it is for you to know if he is cheating on you. And if he is, then go end up the relationship. You have to make sure first if he is really telling the truth or if he is cheating on you. Good Luck!

Hi, ianshelia! It sounds like this dude may be married! I would not trust him, if I was you! He may be married.. You never know.. With you being here and him being there, there is no telling what he is doing.. You may want to end this relationship. It may be the best. I have a very funny feeling that he is not telling you the entire truth.

I don't belive boy,if I were you.

Wow what on earth is a textmate? If he has ended this 'hon' thing already I don't think it would be of any problem. But if he hasn't ask him to cut it out. It is bothering you and it should not be a big deal to stop it if it was a nothing. It doesn't matter if he would meet her or not. If it is bothering you, he should tell you of what they text each other about.If it is something like a romantic fling, he should stop it. I don't think you should end your relationship so soon, do communicate with him. And tell him exactly of what is on your mind.

I would wait it out and see if it affects your relationship. If he is acting differently he is lying about not texting her anymore. He also at least told you..but he coul dbe keeping more from you. If you two really want to make this worl-and you know he does too, try to stay with it. But long distances are hard enough, and then with the trust issue now, it's gonna be tougher. Good luck

I dont think I would agree with that too much. If you are with a person you are with THAT person and not looking around for others to call "hon". It would bother me as well. How would he like it if you did it to him? And then to call you "hon"....maybe he was forgetting about who he was talking to? Why would he 'call' you that if he was texting someone? Do you think he was actually talking to her as well? I would maybe let it go depending on the whole situation and his reactions as well as his history with me, maybe if he had never lied before or had a good trust relationship with me. But I would always watch and take notice of things to avoid having it happen again. Ultimately it is your decision as it is your life and your boyfriend but be cafeful and good luck!

i called my girlfriend "hon" but i also have a textmate and i also called her hon, and i also called my cousin "hon" who is so close to me.... i think it depends on the relationship of that textmate. If he is loyal to you, then he will keep distance to his textmates, well they are just "textmates" anyway.... i know its hard to believe a man nowadays but their are some men that are loyal to his lover, and they respect their woman just like i do....

you should trust him. if he's not communicating with her anymore, give him a chance unless you don't feel it's worth the time and effort.

so your in a long distance relationship.well its a bit harder because your too far from each other and u didn't even get too see your boyfriend. I think hes flirting with somebody because why having a text mate and they call each other hon?..iv been there once, my boyfriend is in Saudi and the fact that were not together seems a lot incomplete. So i spent some of my time playing this online games and there's this guy whom i met through that games and being fond of that game made us more attached to each other because that game is like your having a couple in a dance. So we exchange numbers and eventually became a text mate which i didn't think that i will be on that thing.I am not fond of texting someone whom you don't really know. So as time goes by. We felt something that leads in calling each other Ma and Pa.. saying I love you that i know that its crazy because he had a Gf and i have mine too. after 2weeks he broke up with her and decided to court me but i don't want to hurt my bf so he decided to set aside his feelings for me. I felt guilt on my bf side because i m having a n affair with someone. so eventually i decided to turned down my boyfriend.its sad but that's i think would be the best thing that i need to do.

Well, sometimes that can become a Big problem these days with so many people first Chatting via the Internet with people from all over the World, or via Email and now Text. You never know what Relationships can spring up, and while many consider them harmless I am sure they break off a lot of Relationships as well. What you need to do, is talk it over with your boyfriend, and see where he really stands on this and then go from there. If he is really wanting you, he will let you know, but if he is tending to hesitate you might want to drop him and look for something better as well.

You mention that your boyfriend told you he has a textmate. What prompted him to tell you this? Did you find out and he was just confirming it? Did he tell you out of the blue, on his own? I don't blame you for being uneasy but I also don't think you should jump to conclusions right away. Also, don't base anything on the word "hon" alone. I'm sure in some cultures "hon" is something that a person would only call their spouse or significant other. But I can tell you that I have a lot of American friends, male and female, that call me "hon" but it's a casual term of friendship, not romance. I'm not in a relationship with any of those people. A lot of women seem to call each other "hon" without it having any real meaning at all. I'm not telling you to ignore this textmate of your boyfriend's... I know, in your place, I would be concerned and confused too and I'd want more information. Having a long-distance relationship is VERY hard to start with and the trust issues are one of the most difficult parts. All I'm saying is, I wouldn't end the relationship over someone calling another person "hon"... until I was able to find out more about what was actually going on. I wish you a lot of luck. I'm sure you aren't feeling too happy right now :\

Is this some sort of online-dating where you two never meet? I hope not, if it is... Cut and run and kill yourself. If its not, don't worry about it.

If this is a joke from him, it is a bad joke my dear. Why in the first place would he be considering other else's texting him and excuse me, call him "honey"? and what calls of endearment does he calls you? sweetheart? He was just got caught by what you confirmed him, but what is the main purpose of texting others even if they don't meet, you are far from him, that is why this kind of treatment will never appreciate you my friend. If he is fond of flirting around to other girls while you are far away, think again dear what would happen next if you give him a chance without punishing him first of what he did to you on flirting around.

I wouldn't trust him. Sorry my opinion. If he can have a "textmate" whats to say he won't try for more? Especially with the distance factor between you two. Trust in my eyes is a huge part of a relationship and if he is calling someone else hon then its time for you to move on and find someone else who appreciates you and isn't out looking for someone to call hon.

Don't worry, Men always have wild thought. But most of them will remain just a thought!