living together vs getting married...

The real problem is that people have turned away from the One who celebrated the very first marriage God! People have stopped reading their Bibles and following what God gave as a guide to a happy marriage. People now get married with already..if it doesn't work out..there is always divorce.

It is sad that the world of married people had come to separations and divorces for a lot of couples. Living together and being married have their upside and downside. With living together it's the happiness that counts. With being married it's the security that matters most. I like being married cause it gives me the feeling that I belong to someone, the legality of all of it from being the legal wife with the kids legitimate. With living together there could be some thought that the other person can still look for a better partner and if they separate it could be sad if there are kids involved. Some celebrities that are not married are obviously happy - Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russel, Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt....but there are a lot of married couples who are happy too - Tom Hanks and his wife (forgot her name), Sean Penn and Robin Wright....so I think it really depends on how 2 people handle their relationship. It think it will be fair and safe to not allow statistics affect our own personal beliefs.

I have been with my "husband" for 10 years, though we've never walked down that isle, we are happily married. We are connected in the same ways that a real married couple are. Walking down the isle, and signing that piece of paper isn't gonna make, me or him love each other more. We are what we are. People always tell us that we need to go on and get married, but our saying is why try and fix something that's not broken. We are totally happy with the way we live, and that's what works for us.

I am 49 and have never wished to get married. I have seen so many people happy together until they get married, then it all falls apart. I think it is entirely an individual decision - everyone is different. I have been with my 'husband' for 21 years now, and we have had a very happy, strong relationship without being married. I am concerned about how marriage is viewed nowadays - when you hear people talking about getting married, it always seems to be focussing on the 'day' and the money, not about love.

I am in two minds about living together versus getting married, and I lean towards the idea that it is OK for a couple to live together before they get married. I think if you are seriously involved with someone, and not just some fly by the seat of your pants short term relationship, it is OK to try living together first. It is really hard to live with someone, even if you are in live with them, and if you know that you can co-habitiate, I think you have a better shot at making the marriage thing work. I for example, lived with my husband for about a year and a half before we got married, and we have been together for 10 years now. It worked for us, which does not mean it can work for anyone, but I thinkwe are doing pretty well in the grand scheme of thinkgs.

I have gone down the living together route, and never again. Marriage, to me, is total commitment to your partner and your relationship, and a declaration to the World that you have chosen that person as your lifelong partner, and they are no longer game in open season. Living together is not commitment, it's a live-in friends with benefits, and consists of; maybe this relationship and this person, is NOT the one. Two different mindsets. One is going in with the mindset of commitment and this will last into eternity, and the other is going in with the mindset that it may not work, and one foot already out the door. Love is a seed that needs tending, watering and fertilizing.

I guess its our society and religion has dictated to set this institution called marriage. I think they did that to make out society orderly during those days where we need to set our boundaries or ownership of a partner. It has evolve now into a much more complicated partnership though since it was first thought or. In my opinion, if you want to make your partnership acceptable in the eyes of your society then legitimate your partnership by marriage. In making that decision you should also see if love, commitment and also financial readiness is present before jumping into it. Living together kind of partnership is also very much tolerable nowadays especially when you are living in a non conservative place like in the US and any western country. They do tolerate those kind of partnership maybe because of the change practicality of it. For as long as your partnership does not affect in any way how the society as a whole, they can function normally. For as long as there is an unwritten agreement that you will love each other then I think society should not do anything against that partnership.

I think that the reason divorce has become so popular is b/c ppl rush into a marriage without taking the time to really get to know that person. I know that the Bible speaks against "living in sin" but it also speaks against divorce. My Hubby and I lived together for 6 years before we decided to marry. We faced alot of major battles in that 6 years...he became disabled, we had severe financial problems, his family, my family, his ex-wife, we lost a child we were going to adopt, foster care and lots of moving...but we stuck it out together and when we decided to marry it didn't really change anything between us except that we were legally husband and wife. I know ppl that are dating, having kid after kid with no intention of marrying. Not only does it leave them alone it leaves the kid with no family foundation to build on. Although I'm not telling anyone to "live in sin" I do think ppl need to take alot longer than a couple weeks to get to know each other before jumping into marriage. [b]~~AT PEACE WITHIN~~ **STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS**[/b]

A Marriage Is A Social Contract ~ assigned by both parties being a husband and a wife. One marriage life is vulnerable to divorce, although there are two (2) strings between both parties which are religion and civil law related to the marriage. Like two (2) people in one boat, sailing to one destination which of course expose to many factors to keep them getting the right route and maneuvering. Dare To Take Dare To Face ~ I believe that any couple who get involved in marriage life do have a specific wish or intention. Whatever it is, totally depend on their own wish and they know what is needed in one marriage life to reach the happiness in their "togetherness". Marriage is necessary just one logic reason, do we want to look in future that our descendants living without marriage?. My answer is NO. So, there are many examples of happiness happened in marriage life. I'll take the positive example and the negative will be my guidance.

Both marriage and living together tend to offer the same problems, only if you live together it is easier to stop living together. There are cases where living together has lasted a good long time. But there are tons of other relationships that have ended (even after years). I prefer the commitment that I feel in my marriage. I also think that part of the reason it is so easy to divorce is because of how people look at divorce. If you go into marriage not believing that is an option then it forces you to work through your problems and to work at making your marriage last.

I personally don't see the problem with either situation. My husband and I did live together quite some time before we married. I know I can be hard to live with as can most people, and I wasn't about to throw away a marraige just because I couldn't stand how my husband acted around the house. So we did the live in thing and then once all that happened, we got married. I don't regret my decision one bit. Living together allows you to see how the other person is in real life. When you date someone or just go over for dinner or a movie, you only get a 3 hour window into their life. You don't see their habits as they are always on their best behavior when you are around. If you really want to get to know someone, you've got to spend time with them and see them from all angles whether it be just woken up in the morning, grouchy at night or sick as a dog throwing up in the toilet all afternoon long. And you can get legal claim over each other even if you are NOT married. It's called a will. I know several people who have been together 30+ years that have no desire to get married. My husband's co-worker, or one of them really, just lost her partner to brain cancer. She and her "husband" had been together 31 years without getting married and have 3 children. He passed away in his sleep early Saturday morning. He had a will that left everything to her and the kids and she is the executrix of his estate.

My hubby is a man of divorce, and I am a lady of separation. I believe their is a way to work everything out, and he believes the same. His ex was the one who filed divorce or it would never have happened. I left my other half because of abuse. All situations are different but 99% of things can be worked on and worked out it's all a matter of both parties working on it, and having the will power to do it, their comes a point that their is no turning back because you have been so utterly hurt and confined that the separation is needed. My case is a different case, but i am so much more happier that I met my husband. You also have to remember everything happens for a reason and we all grow as individuals with each and everything that happens to us in our lives. A lot of the younger people are getting married because they are being forced to by parents (my husbands case) and then since their is no true love their it is doomed for failure. Not all cases are this way but it is their. It takes strong people to get threw that. Others because of a pregnancy, which in my eyes is not right.

i certainly dont believe you should get married just to get married though i am not opposed to marriage i believe both are fine and good as i live with my lady and dont see us getting married anytime in the near future but i would have no problem with it if that was what she wanted my parents have been married will be 35 years this year so they are a good example if you get married at the right time for the right reasons you can have a happy life together.

The important thing here is that YOU are already happily married. Some people marry for the right reasons at the right time in life and others are not so fortunate. There are many advantages to living with someone but there are almost certainly as many disadvantages. Legal marriage offers many protections but they also make both partners vulnerable in some ways. If two people can respect each other and be mature about life's challenges they can build a lasting commitment whether they are married or not. Marriage is about family. If a couple is young and starting out and has all the ingredients for success they should definitely marry. For people who are a little further along in life it's a different story. The issue of someone falling in love with another person is a completely different subject. It is not something insurmountable and can be overcome in time. The couple has to remember there was a reason they got together in the first place.

I shall quote what Kuya Rene wrote in his book on "Spiritual Reality" which answers your querry. (Rene Mariano is a renowned psychic in the Philippines (www.renemariano.net) Philippines tel. no. 632-8436346. He says, "True marriage is the love from the hearts of two people. It is not just a religious ritualistic wedding or a civil marriage. Nevertheless, when a man truly loves his woman, the man is willing to give his name to her and a religious, or civil rite can only do this. this sacrament of the church or this law of the government morally legitimizes their union in the eyes of their church or their society." The ceremony of marriage is an important part of loving. Though, there are cases wherein lovers simply live in as a husband and wife, the risk here is so big for the woman. This is because; she has no legal rights as his mate. Her children will suffer being illegitimate, whose right as children will be so limited." "Anytime her man decides to leave her, and marry another, the law of a civilized society, or her religion cannot protect her. The spiritual reality is, if a woman would just live in with her man. She maybe his woman, but still she is not his wife."

Hmmm you pose very good questions. To me commitment is commitment weather I'm living together with someone or married. I think it truly depends on the person. Some feel the need to solidfy and reaffirm their love in front of everyone by pronouncing it with wedding vows. Some feel that the fact they are living together and been together forever it seems is enough. It's all in what the people who love eachother are comfortable with.

If you have children you should be married for the legal rights! At least here in Sweden, if somethings happens this is the only way that you'll get the house for example. If you are not married the children will get the parents part of it and if they are young it often is a government person that handles their interest. I've been married to my husband for 13 years and I don't think that it would have been different if we just lived togehter. I do belive that the love changes a lot during the years.

you should never marry someone you dont love.... that is very important.... people marry for alot of reasons.. and it doesnt not always mean they are in love with each other.... i have seen married men having affairs with other women.. and even married women with other men..... so if all people were of the same mind.. `MARRY SOMEONE YOU LOVE .... then i think there would be less divorces.... there are some cultures that couples marry by matchmaking.... personally i think im lucky in one way.. my culture believes in match making... but i had time to get to know my husband..and only after many months.. i decided to marry him....

Signing on the dotted lines brings security.That is why marriage is more common.In a live-in relation that sort of security is lacking.Its always a woman who is at loss when it comes to a live-in arrangement.Marriages usaully involses the entire family so this knot is very firm.And even it one of the spouse go astray in the end usaully its the marriage which wins(though not always.)So I believe in marriage.

In our generation marriage is more or less a formality and marriage really seems to be getting out dated. Now a days people marry for reasons other than what marriage was meant to be. It's a scary fact but i would say in the 21st century, statistically, living together is a more common societal institution than marriage.