Just a wife

I know how you are feeling. but i suggest you to take up for a new job instead..or do something in which you can earn and also look after your baby. otherwise dont worry just do your duty of growing up the baby for certain age till then study on some recent things if possible and then update till 1 year or so till the baby can be managed.then join the work? if possible now also you can work but then giving the baby in some babysitters hand will make the baby's cultures go wrong might be. baby neds right cultures when they grown so it is also necessary for you to be with her.. dont worry dear think which ways you can work and also take care of her as per my view my 1st option is good..take care

You are more than a wife and a mother, and your job does not define who you are. You define who you are and the person you want to be. I haven't worked at a steady job in over four years, and I feel bad about it, but it doesn't make me any less of a person. I have been manipulated and controlled by other people in my life, but they can't take my "personal sense of identity" my ego you know, how you feel about yourself. No matter what obstacles life throws at you, you have to meet them with a challenge. I often feel awkward and frustrated, but when I need help I ask for it. If I was married. If I had a ring on my finger or I was living with my significant other, I would in no way hesitate to bring up the fact that I wanted his help. Sometimes it takes a stronger person to ask for help. You might not always get the help you need, but at least you asked for it.

I think that feeling is normal. Soon you will be well acquainted with that kind of life. What is important is you're with your baby now. When he/she grows older, you can always choose to go back to work.

I thought I am alone but I was wrong. Your situation is almost the same as mine. I never had a job for the past eight months. I got married and became a mom. My son is now five months old and still there is no nanny applying here in our house. My husband is the only one working. I don't have any job aside from being a wife and a mom. I do all the household chores, I take care of my husband's needs from food to clothing and I take care of our son 24/7. I told my husband that I need to work in order to help him with the growing expenses. But we both have no choice because both of our moms are working and they can't take care of their grandson. Most of the time I and my son are the only people in the house. I really don't have any other outlet aside from mylot and myself when I feel sad and wants to talk to someone. I always put in this site what I feel, what is happening to me and what I wanted to happen with my life. I also pray a lot, hoping that God will give me what I deserve. I have no complaints in being a mom and wife it is just that I don't have a job. I don't have my own income and I totally depend on my husband. I can't buy things I wanted to do because budget is really tight and I am shy to ask from my husband. I am even the one who tries to control when we are spending more than what is on the budget. I hate to think that I am already losing my self-confidence because I no longer encounter other people aside from my husband and son. I am losing my self whenever I cry at night when my husband is not around. I feel sad and I do self-pity. I am a very positive person but when I am alone and my mind is thinking a lot of dreams which are too far to reach, I just burst and feel really, really pathetic. I wish that God will give me more strenght to face everyday. I am very lucky in other things though. My husband is very responsible and we never argue on things that happen between us. We even complete a day with laughters and jokes. I wish that I could just have a job so that I could regain my self-worth. I am more inspired to get a job because I want to buy a lot of stuff for my son and husband. I am a dreamer and I will never stop even if I feel down sometimes. I know this too...shall pass.

Honestly, I can't give you any advice, since i'm in the exact opposit eposition right now, single, no thoughts of marriage of kids, making my own money, but I must say as much as I want what you have sometimes, I must empathize with your loss. That must suck! It makes me not want to get married. Surely there's a way (besides mylot) to find an outlet or a way to gain some sense of achievement whether through work or another way? I tell my boyfriend that I'm lonely sometimes because I don't have any friends where I live now after college and he doesn't get it either. Very frustrating when a part of your life is gone.

Oh honey, I understand where your coming from. I am about to have my first child and I have been agonizing over the decision to stay at home or continue to work. On the upside, I will be able to be a full time mom and take better care of the house, but on the down side, I won't have any of my own money and the sense of independence that I have enjoy for so long. However, I just remember that there is a time for everything and this is my time to give. Also you are not just a wife, you are a domestic goddess. The Job of wife and mother is the foundation of society, you are laying the ground work for your family. Be proud, it is a important job. finally, it might be a good idea to look into some jobs that might allow you to work at home. Also don't forget to talk to your husband and tell him how you feel.

Having always been very independent, I can sympathize with you here. Thankfully, I have only been without work a couple of times in my life and they were short-lived. During those times..once, I depended on my husband and it was horrible. I hated having to ask for every little thing and knowing that I was not contributing even tho when the situation was reversed...I was ok in helping him. The 2nd time, I got state help which felt just as bad. So ya..I can relate. Daycare was a big problem for me with 4 kids. I became the daycare provider. I took in some kids during the day for extra money. I sew so I also took on some mending jobs which I'd work on at nite after the kids were in bed. I also cooked meals for an elderly man and delivered them to his home. He loved it and it was extra cash and not a lot of extra work. I cooked meals for my family so I just made sure I cooked enough for him as well. I also took on a part time job in the evenings when my husband was home. I did work hard and I put in a lot of hours but I felt so much better than when I wasn't working at all. It gave me a sense of purpose and I was better with my kids so the time and work was worth it for me. Oh.,..I also cleaned apts for people moving out of them that wanted their deposits back but did not want to do the work. On those types of jobs, I took my kids with me. There are many ways to earn money without compromising your family. Hope I gave you some ideas.

hey in this i think that you are totally wrong i know that you have equal right to earn but for every wife his husband is more importance and for every mother his child is more importance so if you feel that you have lost importance than you are totally wrong please note my words you are totally wrong because all sacrifices you are making is for your child so that child will give you importance and really you should think towards that and you are saying that you have to take money from your husband than i think after marriage husband and wife are two sides of a coin and he is supporting to you.....

I think you will find that you are thankful that you stayed home with your baby later on in life. There is a brief window when our children are growing and learning very rapidly. I would rather do without some material things to enjoy those special moments. Possibly, you can go to school part-time and/or find a hobby that is enjoyable for you that you can do at home.

Hello Maya. Welcome to mylot. You are NEVER just a wife. You are a mother. You are putting all that you have into raising your child. You are so important and important to the most important person your baby. I understand that you do not feel as important as you use to when you made money. It is easy to feel shall I say overworked and under payed. But when I start feeling that way I remind myself that there is no one that would be better at raising my children but me. I do not know what I would do if had to go to work. My children are so important to me. They are with me 99% of the time. If I had to leave them with someone I would lose my sanity. So, just always remember when you are down that you are ALWAYS important and NEVER just a wife. Have a blessed day.

Hi and smile. Maybe try to consider a new job that dont requires lots of overtime. A part time job for you or try an online shop. Online shop is getting bigger and bigger again. I see my friends are really doing good with it. Maybe u can make something for you. Keep yourself busy at the same time you can take care of your baby. Happy mylotting and smile always!

Maya- Moving from the work force into mommy life at home can be a big change. Yet, it is a job that is still very important! I've been in both areas, and yes there are times I miss the classroom, yet I really have enjoyed spending time with my children and witnessing their growth and development as spiritual beings. You may want to find yourself groups to go to with other stay at home mom's. This will give you a chance to get out of the house and talk with other women. Perhaps taking up a craft or hobby would help you feel like you are still doing something for you. I'm not sure how to respond to the comment "I'm losing what is making me better than others". That to me sounds a bit, well arrogant, as if you feel somehow better than other people. I don't feel I'm better then anyone or less then anyone. I'm not sure if you meant that people looked at you differently for staying home, so perhaps you could clarify that for me. If it is the second, I'd say that your job as mommy is just as important. Namaste-Anora

i know where you are at. i too, am Just a wife and mom right now. it is a weird adjustment. remember being a mom is the most important job you will ever have and be happy that you have the time to show your husband how much you appreciate him. sometimes when you work outside the home you get so busy that your relationships (especially with your husband) suffers a little. be happy to have the break. you have mylot why don't you try things like writing on ehow or bukisa or something like that. having a creative outlet can help you and you will also earn money at the same time. sometimes you are busier being home than you were at work. try to find a balance.

I know where you are comming from, i once worked to but had to quit due to haveing 4 children and can't afford daycare. There are diffenatly days that i feel so worthless, like what am I really providing for my kids, but truthfully, it will pass...you will realize that you are important to if no one else, your kids....you get to watch them grow u p and not have to worry about someone else rasing your kids so to speak. It does have its ups and sowns and i would love to go back to work, but i wouldn't stress about it now, enjoy the time you have with them because they will be in school all day eventually and you will have that time to go back to work. Just enjoy it. Many people work so much that they miss out on so much.

Don't worry maya and don't think it is 'just' being a mother and wife.A good mother and wife can still get her full satisfaction from life.I can very well understand your awkwardness in asking husband for some money but I can give you one small piece of suggestion if you don't mind.I am sure you will have some personal savings as such ; keep it carefully aND invest it prudently with the help of your husband.I am sure he is a decent man and would not mind your small pocket money.But, one thing -you will have to get your personal desires under tight control till your child is big enough for you to make some more money for yourself.Work hard in mylot.com and also look for online earning opportunities.Don't think that only going to a job would make you fulfill your needs. You will be compromising on your child's well being at the early stage .Your fullfledged devotion to the little one would make him/her a great achiever later in life and you would realise that the time you spent now is more rewarding than anything else.I did not see your profile.From which place are you?

being wife is not very easy. Lot of sacrifice has to be done. Do meditation to keep your mind narrow. It will help you to take clear decisions. Its quite important for the parents to spent time for their baby.

Hi Maya, I know exactly what you are feeling and why you feel that way. I did feel that way when i had to give up my job for family reasons and i found it very difficult to cope. After i discovered the net and a means of earning some money i feel much happier, because one gets to interact with lots of people and also our free time is spent in a constructive manner..

Have you talked to your husband about that? I bet you are under a huge pressure now, I would suggest you t otalk to your husband, find a way to balance it :-)

Life is full of adjustments and compromises.i THINK YOU ARE LUCKY THAT YOU ARE SPENDING QUALITY TIME WITH YOUR KID AND SHE IS AT SUCH TENDER AGE THAT IT IS YOU WHO M SHE NEEDS THE MOST.If you are finding it hard to stay at home then you can do some home based jobs where you can look after your baby as well as you can earn like data entry jobs if you are proficient in computer work. I would like to tell you that i have a son whose picture i have put as an avatar.I wish i could spend time with him.He is just 1 year old and i have been working when he was just 4 months old.I had to work because our financial position was in doldrums and i had to move out and do a job so that i could contribute something towards better lifestyle for my darling son.I miss him when i am on work and just hope that i reach home as early as possible. So you should thank God that the burden of running the household does not bother you.Enjoy being in the company of your daughter and find happiness in her small naughty and mischievous actions.

i konw your feeling about that,maybe a new job will make you feel better.