help with six year old

He sounds just like my son, he is 9 now. When he was in 1st grade his teacher suggested we get him tested for ADHD. He takes medicine everyday and when he does not we can tell. He has a 93 average in school now. You might want to check with his doctor, to see about having him checked out.

You have my sympathy. It can be very hard at times when kids are going through a troublesome phase. Have you considered getting him started in an afterschool club. Something that is phsical and teaches discipline? My lad does boxing. But any form of sport should do the same. It'll help him burn off some excess energy and teach him some discipline. And it'll give him something you can make him go and practice when he is full of energy. It might be worth a visit to your GP. If for no other reason than if it ends up being something medical, it can sometimes be a very long process to get a diagnosis and treatment. Best to get the ball rolling as early as possible. Although he has said there is nothing bothering him, perhaps you could get someone else to talk to him. Take him out for the day and just weedle bits out of him. He might not want to tell you or be embarrased. Does your son's school have a behavioural expert there? I know they are usually associated with special needs children. But at my school they get involved with "normal" kids as well. Just remember that you are doing nothing wrong. Kids go through phases like this and it will pass. If it ends up being a medical problem, again there is nothing you could do to prevent it. Make sure you take time out for yourself. Even if it's just a nice relaxing bath! Good luck x

I’m sure there’s some latent issue which even he is not aware of. Children are very sensitive and some are extremely opinionated. My 9yr old son sounds exactly like your 6yr and I know the coz…we have recently shifted to a new locality and he terribly misses his old home and his grandparents. I try my best to cope with his behaviour and make him understand…time out and such will not really help coz you are actually increasing his sense of hurt and deprivation. Some kids mature faster than other and your son, being the eldest, might be feeling left out or ignored with respect to your behaviour towards his younger siblings…its just a thought but this happens…many times the eldest child is unconsciously ignored and it grows up harbouring a grudge.

i can really understand your problem as i have seen my own younger brother doing this to my mom but my brother was more elder about 12yrs old and he continued the same for five to six years and my mom also use to be very tensed and she tried all ways to control him and make him understand by being very polite, being like a friend and fullfilling all his needs and demands, by being very strict and it really didnt work and you know all this happens only due to the bad friendship circle and they learn from others and childrens et spoilt. so i think it is better try to keep your son busy along with you more and try to make his good friends who study well and who play sports as children like sport and they mingle easily if they have same kind of intentions. as your son is still very young you have to try something and control him orelse if he grows with the same kind of attitude later it will be more difficult to bring him back as they grow up. try to divert his mind, keep him busy and not be more strict and always make a child feel sympathatic towards mother, he should always feel your pain and only then a child will understand and not trouble mothers and be good. so i hope your problem gets better sooner and may god bless.

Have you gotten down to his level and looked him right in the eye when talking to him. When you put him in time out does he stay put where you put him? If not, you put him back in time out until he stays there, even if it takes hours, once he knows you will not give in and you are following through, then maybe things might change. Are the younger ones getting more attention from you then he is. If that is the case that is why he might be acting up. What about Dad? Where is he in all that. How long do you take the things away from him for. Maybe give him some responsibility, and then praise when he accomplishes the task. Don't give up, keep trying. We all have those wonderful tough spells to go through with the kids. Good luck to you

one idea is to monitor him. ask his teachers how he's behaving and look at how he is at home. doctors may help but they are a last resort. and i agree with what one person said about ignoring his behavior. usually since they are the oldest they want all the attention especially when they see you spending more time and attention on they're younger siblings they become jealous and will do just about anything to get it! i may not be a mother but im experienced there because i do a LOT of babysitting and i went threw this a few summers back with my cousins.

i use to have the same problem with my son. come to find out he really wanted his dad. we are divorced and my son lived with me. i sent him to live with his dad, and he is a lot better. i still hate it everyday that he is not with me. he comes on the weekends and on every school break. i can see him when ever i want to for as long as i want to. he just really needed his dad. for a long time, i would just stare at his bed without him in it. i never thought that one of my kids would not live with me. but it was the best thing for him. now i have no real problems out of him. he still gets into trouble sometimes for normal kid things. but it is nothing like it was before. he is so much happier now. i know that answer might not work for everyone, but it really helped us out.

It's difficult for an adult to understand what's bothering a child. Things that seem insignificant to us can be overwhelming to a little one. I'm not a big believer in punishment, especially when kids are little. Firm, consistent expectations are all they really need. In fact, you may be giving him the attention he's craving, even though it's negative attention. He may feel that he doesn't get his fair share of your time with the two younger kids taking up so much of it. They get to stay home with you while he has to go to school. Put them to bed a little earlier and spend some one-on-one time with your 6-year-old. Listen to him read, talk about his day, spend time bonding. See if that helps. If not, then we'll have to try plan B.

Without knowing more about the situation, I'm going to say that it is highly likely that it is directly related to the learning difficulties he experiences at school. Though you have spoken with him, at 6 he likely doesn't have the words to describe his feelings. My suggestion as an ex teacher and a mommy is to do everything in your power to "catch him being good" as often as possible. Set him up for success at every turn and then be SOOOOOO proud of him. I believe you will begin to see less behavior issues and more wantting to make you(but ultimately himself-which is what you want to strive for) happy.

Oh that's sad. I can say is firstly stop making him feel that he is been noticed all the time. Rather than punishing him, just stop talking to him for sometime. Don't let your other kids to play with him, make him feel ignored but just for sometime. Children s mindset develops between 1-5 years of age. But this is also not too late. You can change him. Maybe he has got more love or is been pampered a lot from the beginning. Let him do all his works. Make him feel that he is grown up now. Keep him away from bad company. Make daily workout plans of studies and his complete schedule chart and make him follow that. Do not pamper him, let him start doing his work by his own. guide him all the time. Do not punish him.

hi dragonfairy i am not an expert but i do have 6 year old triplet boys.my boys some times fight with each other mainley when they are bored.these little boys at this age need to stay really busy.it sounds like to me the little guy is missing some thing i think you should handle him with kindness and care he needs you for some reason some thing is going on .maybe he is having a problem at school maybe he needs more active stuff to do my boys are crazy if they cant run ,jumo,climb and express them selfs. i always talk to them kindley tell them when i was a little girl i use to get upset because no one knew what i needed.it makes them open up they want to know more about whan i was alittle girl and if my mom listened to me.be easy with the little man he needs to know you will listen and help.he will let you know if you show him how much you care.i ask you for something this is just his little six year old way of telling you.

Sounds like my house on some days, lol. My 6 year old has moments, sometimes day and weeks like this. For the most part, he's a good child, but when he's got issues he can't really figure out how to express he get's in a mood that just brings out the worse in him. He's got a weak shoulder girdle, which causes him to have difficulties in writing, which leads to him getting behind sometimes in school. He's smart a whip, but he can't do the writing, so he's in Occpatiental Therapy, which is helping but sometimes the kids make fun of him, and he get's down about it and can't find the worse to express how he is feeling so he just get's mad. Taking things away, punishing him, so on doesn't work with him while he's in these moods. I have to sit down and actually have to have a major heart to heart with him. I ask him, to tell him how he's feeling, and just let him talk, it works. I never had any issues with school, so I have never been there, so I don't know how he's feeling, so when he talks about things it seems to help him, until the next round. He's got a tender heart anyways, so it seems to bother him more than most children. Another thing that seems to bother my son is he's got an 18 month old sister who's a child who get's ill alot so she takes alot of my time, and he feels that him and I don't get to spend as much time together, which in some aspect is true, but I always take time out for him, but he was the only child for 5 year, so it's gonna take a little longer for him to understand he's gotta share me. You might try to talk to his teacher to find out if she has noticed anything as if the kids are picking on your child, or anything like that at school. He may be having a hard time understanding he's got problem in school, and can't find the words to tell you what he's bothered by. I think all kids about this age, seem to start the back talking and having more fits because they are really turning in bigger boys and girls, with more stress in school, and trying to adjust having friends. I noticed this with my son, when he went from kindergarten to 1st grade. He wasn't expecting so much to do, because in his school that's a huge jump, no more play time other than recess, and rest of his day now is full of work. I do understand it's rough, as some days I could just scream when my 6 year old is like this. I wish you luck on finding what could be bothering him.

I have a 7 year old that is the same way. Minus the back talking part. He has had trouble in school as well as lately acting up with his brother (8) and his sister (5). He is pretty good with the baby which is good, I just tell the other 2 to ignore him if he does or says something to him so long as no one is bleeding or missing any parts. I have taken away EVERYTHING from him...toys, books, games, video games, playtime, etc and he just seems to not even be phased by it. I have tried time out and I have even put him to bed at 2:45pm one day right after school and he started acting up. I have recently put him into boy scouts which I am hoping will help him or at least side track him enough to be good. Maybe it will keep him busy enough that he wont think to act out. I think it will be good for him to do stuff on his own. I recently also found out he is not hearing out of his right ear, they did a hearing test at school, and that may be part of the problems I have with him not doing things right away, he just isnt hearing. But his behavior overall is up and down constantly! So I know what you are going through!!! You also might want to try to just ignore him. When these 2 ignore him he just goes about his business most of the time. Good Luck!!

I'm a new mother , I think you should teach your son patiently but not to punish him again, you should tell child him behavior wasn't right for a good children. and a good children what should to do ....

Hi, I don't know if I should try to give advice . . . I have a nine-year-old who is still backtalking and having tantrums, but, I read that you take things away for bad behavior. I just wondered, do you reward for good behavior?

Well the child may want to get your attention even with a negative manner. I think that if he acts bad try to ignore him, however when he does something good praise him even fro something little. So you can show him that when he acts good he will have all the attention he wants. Maybe he is just jelous about his brother and sister since they are younger.

i think taking away of tv or games isn't a helpful choice.i think you should trat him with love and care ,more than you used to give earlier.probably there is something that is bothering him.another thing, try to be his friend, rather than his mother. children at this stage thinks he can handle the whole world by himself.encourage him for every good decisions he take.and even if he took a wrong decision, let him do it,after he realises it that he took the wrong one, he'll change himself.he only needs some time